A few languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the use of others is rapidly declining. Is it a positive or negative development?

A few languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the use of others is rapidly declining.
Is it a positive or negative development?

Some believe that a few languages are using more in distinct countries, while the use of others is rapidly declining. I think few languages are using, which has a lot of benefits than drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are many drawbacks in using more languages in distinct countries. Firstly, a few people do not know about these languages and when a person speaks this language, it is difficult to communicate. For instance, when visitors ask local person about street, they use a different language, it can make them misunderstand.

On the other hand, beside the drawback, it has a lot of advantages when a few languages are increasingly spoken in distinct countries. Firstly of all, it can improve your life by providing more languages. For example, you can easily communicate and make friends. In addition, when you know more languages, it is easy for you to find job. Therefore, it still makes your life better.

In conclusion,

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Some believe that a few languages are using more in distinct countries" -> "Some contend that a few languages are more prevalent in distinct countries"
   Explanation: "Contend" is a more formal verb choice than "believe," and "more prevalent" is a more precise term than "using more," enhancing the academic tone of the statement.

2. "I think few languages are using, which has a lot of benefits than drawbacks" -> "I maintain that the use of fewer languages offers more benefits than drawbacks"
   Explanation: "I maintain" is a more formal expression than "I think," and "offers more benefits than drawbacks" corrects the grammatical error in the original sentence, making it more precise and formal.

3. "there are many drawbacks in using more languages in distinct countries" -> "there are numerous drawbacks to the increased use of languages in distinct countries"
   Explanation: "Numerous" is a more precise adjective than "many," and "to the increased use of languages" clarifies the relationship between the languages and the drawbacks, improving the sentence structure.

4. "a few people do not know about these languages" -> "a limited number of individuals are unfamiliar with these languages"
   Explanation: "A limited number of individuals" is more precise and formal than "a few people," and "are unfamiliar with" is more academically appropriate than "do not know about."

5. "when a person speaks this language, it is difficult to communicate" -> "when a speaker uses this language, communication can be challenging"
   Explanation: "A speaker uses this language" is more specific and formal than "a person speaks this language," and "communication can be challenging" is a more precise and formal way of expressing difficulty in communication.

6. "it can make them misunderstand" -> "it may lead to misunderstandings"
   Explanation: "It may lead to misunderstandings" is more formal and precise than "it can make them misunderstand," which is awkwardly phrased and informal.

7. "beside the drawback" -> "despite the drawbacks"
   Explanation: "Despite the drawbacks" is grammatically correct and more formal than "beside the drawback," which is incorrect and informal.

8. "it has a lot of advantages when a few languages are increasingly spoken in distinct countries" -> "it offers numerous advantages when a few languages are increasingly spoken in distinct countries"
   Explanation: "Offers numerous advantages" is more formal and precise than "has a lot of advantages," and the addition of "numerous" enhances the academic tone.

9. "Firstly of all" -> "Firstly"
   Explanation: "Firstly" is sufficient without "of all," which is redundant and informal.

10. "it can improve your life by providing more languages" -> "it enhances one’s life by providing additional languages"
    Explanation: "Enhances one’s life" is a more formal expression than "improve your life," and "additional languages" is more precise than "more languages."

11. "it is easy for you to find job" -> "it facilitates job acquisition"
    Explanation: "It facilitates job acquisition" is a more formal and precise way of expressing the ease of finding employment, avoiding the informal "it is easy for you to find job."

12. "Therefore, it still makes your life better" -> "Therefore, it still improves one’s life"
    Explanation: "Improves one’s life" is a more formal and precise alternative to "makes your life better," aligning better with academic style.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the increasing use of a few languages and the decline of others is a positive or negative development. However, it does not fully engage with the question. The introduction states a belief but lacks a clear argument that explicitly states whether the author views this trend as positive or negative. The discussion of drawbacks and advantages is present, but the lack of a definitive stance weakens the response.
  • How to improve: To improve, the writer should clearly state their position in the introduction and ensure that this position is consistently referenced throughout the essay. A more explicit statement such as "I believe this trend is positive because…" would provide clarity. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize the argument and reinforce the chosen position.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear and consistent position. While the author mentions that there are "a lot of benefits than drawbacks," this statement is vague and not effectively supported throughout the essay. The discussion of drawbacks is presented first, which may lead the reader to think the author is leaning towards a negative view. The positive aspects are mentioned but not convincingly argued.
  • How to improve: The writer should maintain a clear position by explicitly stating their viewpoint in the introduction and reiterating it in each paragraph. Using phrases like "Despite the drawbacks, I argue that…" can help maintain focus on the chosen stance. Additionally, the conclusion should restate the position clearly to reinforce the argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas regarding the drawbacks and advantages of language use, but these ideas are not well-developed or supported with sufficient detail. For example, the point about communication difficulties due to language barriers is valid but lacks depth and specific examples. Similarly, the advantages mentioned are general and not elaborated upon effectively.
  • How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should provide more specific examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing job opportunities, the author could elaborate on how multilingualism is valued in the job market or provide statistics to support their claims. Additionally, each point should be clearly linked back to the main argument to demonstrate its relevance.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic but occasionally strays into vague statements that do not directly address the prompt. The phrase "it can improve your life by providing more languages" is unclear and does not directly relate to the prompt about the positive or negative implications of language use in different countries.
  • How to improve: The writer should ensure that every statement made directly relates to the prompt. Using clear topic sentences for each paragraph that directly address the prompt can help maintain focus. Additionally, avoiding vague language and ensuring that each point is relevant to the central argument will strengthen the essay.

Overall, to improve the essay’s score, the writer should focus on clearly stating their position, developing and supporting their ideas with specific examples, and ensuring that all content directly addresses the prompt. Additionally, paying attention to the word count and ensuring that the essay meets the minimum requirement will also contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to present a balanced view by discussing both the drawbacks and advantages of a few languages being increasingly spoken in different countries. However, the logical flow is disrupted by unclear connections between ideas and a lack of development in arguments. For example, the transition from the drawbacks to the advantages is abrupt and lacks a clear linking sentence that would help the reader follow the argument more smoothly.
  • How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use clear topic sentences and linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument. For instance, after discussing the drawbacks, you could use a sentence like, "Despite these challenges, there are significant benefits to the widespread use of a few languages."

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the structure within each paragraph is weak. The paragraphs do not consistently follow a clear pattern of topic sentence, supporting details, and concluding sentence. For example, the second paragraph starts with a general statement about drawbacks but does not develop this idea fully before moving on to an example.
  • How to improve: Strengthen your paragraphs by ensuring each one has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that provide evidence or examples, and a concluding sentence that ties the paragraph back to the main argument. For instance, in the second paragraph, start with a clear topic sentence like, "One major drawback of the widespread use of a few languages is the potential for communication barriers."

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly" and "For example," but these are limited and often repetitive. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, which affects the overall coherence. For example, "Firstly of all" is incorrect and should be "First of all."
  • How to improve: Diversify your use of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. Use a variety of linking words and phrases such as "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In contrast," and "As a result." Ensure that these devices are used correctly and appropriately to connect ideas smoothly. For example, you could say, "Moreover, knowing multiple languages can enhance job prospects, making it easier to find employment."

Overall, the essay demonstrates an attempt to address the prompt but lacks the coherence and cohesion needed for a higher band score. By organizing information more logically, structuring paragraphs effectively, and using a wider range of cohesive devices, the essay can be significantly improved.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, primarily relying on basic terms and phrases. For instance, the repeated use of "few languages" and "distinct countries" indicates a lack of variety in word choice. Phrases like "using more" and "a lot of benefits" are quite generic and do not showcase a broader lexical range.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more sophisticated expressions. For example, instead of "few languages," they could use "a limited number of languages" or "select languages." Additionally, phrases such as "a multitude of advantages" or "significant benefits" could replace "a lot of benefits" to convey ideas more effectively.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that can lead to ambiguity. For example, the phrase "a few people do not know about these languages" could be more accurately expressed as "a significant number of individuals are unfamiliar with these languages." The usage of "using more languages" is also vague and could be interpreted in multiple ways.
  • How to improve: Writers should strive for clarity and specificity in their vocabulary. Instead of saying "it can improve your life by providing more languages," a more precise statement could be "proficiency in multiple languages can enhance personal and professional opportunities." This not only clarifies the message but also demonstrates a better command of language.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "beside" (should be "besides") and "local person" (should be "local people"). These errors detract from the overall quality of the writing and can confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, utilize spell-check tools, and proofread their work carefully before submission. Additionally, reading more extensively can help reinforce correct spelling and familiarize the writer with various vocabulary forms.

In summary, to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range, using words more precisely, and ensuring correct spelling throughout their essay. Engaging with diverse reading materials and practicing writing with varied vocabulary will significantly aid in this improvement.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking complexity. For example, phrases like "a few languages are using more in distinct countries" and "it can improve your life by providing more languages" reflect a basic structure. There are few instances of complex sentences, which would help convey more nuanced ideas. The use of phrases such as "beside the drawback" is awkward and does not effectively connect ideas.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "a few languages are using more in distinct countries," the writer could say, "While a few languages are becoming more prevalent in various countries, others are facing a rapid decline." This not only adds complexity but also improves clarity and coherence.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "a few languages are using more in distinct countries" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "a few languages are being used more in distinct countries." Additionally, the sentence "when visitors ask local person about street, they use a different language, it can make them misunderstand" is a run-on sentence that lacks proper punctuation and clarity. The use of articles is inconsistent, as seen in "a local person" instead of "local person."
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, proper article usage, and sentence structure. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on verb forms and sentence construction, can be beneficial. Additionally, the writer should proofread their work to catch punctuation errors and ensure that sentences are complete and coherent. For example, breaking the run-on sentence into two clearer sentences could enhance understanding: "When visitors ask a local person about the street, they may use a different language. This can lead to misunderstandings."

In summary, to achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy through targeted practice and careful proofreading.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some believe that a few languages are used more in distinct countries, while the use of others is rapidly declining. I think that the use of fewer languages offers more benefits than drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are numerous drawbacks to the increased use of languages in distinct countries. Firstly, a limited number of individuals are unfamiliar with these languages, and when a person speaks this language, communication can be challenging. For instance, when visitors ask a local person about the street, if they use a different language, it can lead to misunderstandings.

On the other hand, despite the drawbacks, it offers numerous advantages when a few languages are increasingly spoken in distinct countries. First of all, it can enhance one’s life by providing additional languages. For example, you can easily communicate and make friends. In addition, when you know more languages, it is easier for you to find a job. Therefore, it still improves one’s life.

In conclusion, I maintain that the use of fewer languages provides more benefits than drawbacks.