Abstract: A Study on BLACKPINK's Positive Influence on UEH Students' Motivation and Lifestyle

This study explores the positive impact of BLACKPINK, one of the most well-known K-pop groups, on students' academic motivation and lifestyle at the University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City (UEH). With the rise of K-pop as a cultural force, particularly BLACKPINK's notoriety, this study seeks to investigate how their music, personal stories, and public image affect students in both academic and personal settings.
The study takes a mixed-methods approach, collecting data from 300 UEH students through quantitative surveys and qualitative interviews. The study looks into several critical areas, including the group's impact on students' foreign language learning, time management, and study habits, as well as their influence on students' wardrobe choices, music preferences, and cultural awareness. The findings show that BLACKPINK has a strong positive impact on students' academic motivation, notably in terms of boosting foreign language skills (English and Korean) and motivating creativity and perseverance. Furthermore, their work ethic and global success inspire students, resulting in a stronger devotion to their studies and personal aspirations. BLACKPINK's lifestyle influence extends to fashion trends, social media involvement, and a renewed interest in global concerns and cultures.
This study adds to the increasing body of K-pop research by demonstrating how global pop culture can affect not only entertainment tastes but also educational motivation and lifestyle choices. The findings also have practical consequences for educators and institutions in terms of combining students' interests in popular culture with academic and personal development plans.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"BLACKPINK" -> "the K-pop group BLACKPINK"
Explanation: Adding "the K-pop group" clarifies the reference and provides a more formal context, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"most well-known" -> "most prominent"
Explanation: "Most prominent" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "most well-known," which can sound informal and vague.
"students’ academic motivation and lifestyle" -> "students’ academic motivation and personal lifestyles"
Explanation: Adding "personal" before "lifestyles" clarifies that the lifestyles referred to are individual and not necessarily related to academic settings.
"With the rise of K-pop as a cultural force" -> "As K-pop has gained cultural prominence"
Explanation: "As K-pop has gained cultural prominence" is a more formal and precise way to describe the increasing influence of K-pop.
"notoriety" -> "popularity"
Explanation: While "notoriety" can imply negative connotations, "popularity" is more neutral and appropriate for describing the widespread recognition of BLACKPINK.
"mixed-methods approach" -> "mixed-method research design"
Explanation: "Mixed-method research design" is a more specific and academically precise term than "mixed-methods approach."
"collecting data from 300 UEH students" -> "collecting data from a sample of 300 students at the University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City"
Explanation: Adding "a sample of" and specifying the university name provides clarity and formality.
"looks into" -> "examines"
Explanation: "Examines" is a more formal and precise verb than "looks into" in academic writing.
"boosting foreign language skills" -> "enhancing foreign language proficiency"
Explanation: "Enhancing foreign language proficiency" is a more formal and precise term than "boosting foreign language skills."
"motivating creativity and perseverance" -> "fostering creativity and perseverance"
Explanation: "Fostering" is a more academic term that implies nurturing and development, which is more suitable for the context.
"inspire students" -> "inspire student motivation"
Explanation: "Inspire student motivation" specifies the type of inspiration and aligns better with academic language.
"stronger devotion to their studies and personal aspirations" -> "increased commitment to academic pursuits and personal goals"
Explanation: "Increased commitment to academic pursuits and personal goals" is more formal and precise, avoiding the colloquial tone of "devotion."
"lifestyle influence" -> "influence on lifestyle"
Explanation: "Influence on lifestyle" is grammatically correct and more formal, improving the sentence structure.
"renewed interest in global concerns and cultures" -> "enhanced interest in global issues and cultural awareness"
Explanation: "Enhanced interest in global issues and cultural awareness" is more specific and academically appropriate than "renewed interest in global concerns and cultures."
"practical consequences for educators and institutions" -> "practical implications for educators and educational institutions"
Explanation: "Practical implications" is a more precise term than "consequences," and specifying "educational institutions" clarifies the context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the influence of BLACKPINK on UEH students’ motivation and lifestyle. However, it lacks depth in exploring how these influences manifest specifically in academic settings and personal lives. For instance, while the essay mentions the impact on foreign language skills and creativity, it does not provide concrete examples or data from the surveys and interviews to substantiate these claims. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a clearer connection between BLACKPINK’s influence and specific outcomes in students’ academic performance or lifestyle changes.
- How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should include specific examples or data points from the research conducted. For instance, citing particular survey results or quotes from interviews could strengthen the argument. Furthermore, elaborating on how these influences translate into measurable changes in students’ academic performance or lifestyle choices would enhance the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general stance on the positive influence of BLACKPINK, but it lacks a consistently articulated position throughout. The introduction sets the stage for a positive exploration, yet the body of the essay sometimes veers into general observations about K-pop culture without directly linking back to the specific influence on UEH students. This can lead to confusion about the main argument being made.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should reiterate the main thesis in each section of the essay. Using topic sentences that reflect the thesis can help guide the reader and keep the focus on how BLACKPINK specifically influences UEH students. Additionally, summarizing key points at the end of each paragraph can reinforce the central argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding BLACKPINK’s influence, such as its effect on language skills and lifestyle choices. However, these ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported with detailed evidence. For example, while the essay mentions that BLACKPINK inspires creativity and perseverance, it does not delve into how this inspiration is reflected in students’ actual behaviors or academic outcomes.
- How to improve: To effectively present, elaborate, and substantiate ideas, the writer should include specific examples, anecdotes, or data from the research. For instance, discussing how students have adopted new study habits or engaged in creative projects inspired by BLACKPINK would provide concrete support for the claims made. Additionally, integrating quotes or testimonials from students could add a personal touch and strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on BLACKPINK’s influence on UEH students. However, there are moments where the discussion becomes broad, touching on general K-pop culture without directly tying it back to the specific context of UEH students. This can dilute the focus and make it harder for the reader to see the relevance of certain points.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should consistently relate all points back to the specific context of UEH students. This can be achieved by framing discussions around how BLACKPINK’s influence is uniquely experienced by these students, rather than making generalized statements about K-pop. Ensuring that each paragraph directly supports the thesis will help keep the essay on topic.

In summary, while the essay presents an interesting exploration of BLACKPINK’s influence, it requires more depth, clarity, and specific evidence to improve its overall effectiveness and coherence. Addressing these areas will enhance the essay’s ability to meet the Task Response criteria more effectively.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents information in a logical sequence, beginning with an introduction to the study’s focus on BLACKPINK and its influence on UEH students. The structure flows smoothly from the introduction to the methodology, findings, and implications. For instance, the transition from discussing the data collection methods to the specific areas of impact (academic motivation and lifestyle) is clear and coherent. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using more explicit transitional phrases between sections. For example, when moving from the methodology to the findings, a phrase like "Following the data collection, the study revealed that…" could strengthen the connection and guide the reader more clearly through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different aspects of the study. Each paragraph focuses on a specific theme, such as the introduction, methodology, findings, and implications. This separation aids readability and helps the reader digest the information presented. However, the paragraphs could be more distinct in their focus; for instance, the findings could be broken down further into separate paragraphs for academic motivation and lifestyle influences to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: Consider dividing the findings section into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on academic motivation and the other on lifestyle influences. This would allow for a more detailed exploration of each area and improve the overall clarity of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing, to link ideas. Phrases like "furthermore" and "notably" effectively connect thoughts and add depth to the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to include more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the text’s fluidity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of connectors such as "in addition," "consequently," and "for instance." For example, when discussing the impact on foreign language skills, you might say, "In addition to enhancing language skills, BLACKPINK also motivates creativity and perseverance." This would not only improve cohesion but also enrich the overall quality of the writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with clear organization, effective paragraphing, and a good use of cohesive devices. By implementing the suggested improvements, the essay could achieve an even higher level of clarity and fluidity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively employing terms relevant to both the academic context and the subject matter of K-pop. Phrases such as "mixed-methods approach," "critical areas," and "global pop culture" illustrate a sophisticated understanding of the topic. The use of specific terminology related to education and cultural studies enhances the essay’s credibility and depth.
- How to improve: While the vocabulary range is strong, incorporating even more varied expressions could elevate the essay further. For instance, instead of repeating "impact" multiple times, alternatives like "influence," "effect," or "contribution" could be used to diversify the language. Additionally, integrating more idiomatic expressions or less common synonyms could enrich the text.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, with terms like "motivation," "perseverance," and "devotion" aptly reflecting the intended meanings. However, there are instances where the precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "notably in terms of boosting foreign language skills" could be seen as vague; it may benefit from more specific descriptors regarding how these skills are boosted.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should aim to clarify and specify the context in which vocabulary is used. For instance, instead of saying "strong positive impact," the writer could specify the nature of this impact, such as "significantly enhancing students’ engagement in language learning." This approach would provide clearer insights into the effects being discussed.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "motivation," "notoriety," and "consequences" are spelled correctly, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: To maintain this level of accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Engaging in regular spelling practice, such as using spelling apps or quizzes, can further reinforce this skill. Additionally, reading extensively can help familiarize the writer with correct spelling in context, which can be beneficial for future writing tasks.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By focusing on diversifying vocabulary, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further improve their lexical proficiency in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "With the rise of K-pop as a cultural force, particularly BLACKPINK’s notoriety, this study seeks to investigate how their music, personal stories, and public image affect students in both academic and personal settings." This sentence effectively combines multiple ideas, showcasing the writer’s ability to construct intricate thoughts. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, which contributes to a smooth flow of ideas. However, while the range is generally strong, there are moments where the sentence structure could be more varied to avoid repetitiveness, particularly in the opening sentences of paragraphs.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases or clauses. For example, starting sentences with adverbial clauses or using inversion could enhance the complexity. Additionally, integrating more rhetorical questions or conditional sentences could engage the reader and add depth to the analysis. Practicing sentence combining exercises can also help in creating more complex structures.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely maintains grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "BLACKPINK has a strong positive impact on students’ academic motivation, notably in terms of boosting foreign language skills (English and Korean) and motivating creativity and perseverance" is grammatically sound and effectively communicates the intended message. However, there are instances where punctuation could be improved, such as the use of commas in lists. For example, in the sentence "The study looks into several critical areas, including the group’s impact on students’ foreign language learning, time management, and study habits, as well as their influence on students’ wardrobe choices, music preferences, and cultural awareness," the list is clear, but the overall sentence could be streamlined for better readability.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to punctuation, particularly in complex sentences and lists. Reviewing rules for the Oxford comma and ensuring consistent use of commas can improve clarity. Additionally, proofreading for subject-verb agreement and tense consistency is crucial. Engaging in grammar exercises focused on common pitfalls and seeking feedback from peers or instructors can also help identify and rectify errors.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By continuing to diversify sentence structures and refining punctuation usage, the writer can further enhance the overall quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

**Abstract: A Study on BLACKPINK’s Positive Influence on UEH Students’ Motivation and Lifestyle**

This study examines the positive impact of the K-pop group BLACKPINK, one of the most prominent K-pop acts, on students’ academic motivation and personal lifestyles at the University of Economics Ho Chi Minh City (UEH). As K-pop has gained cultural prominence, particularly due to BLACKPINK’s notoriety, this research seeks to investigate how their music, personal stories, and public image influence students in both academic and personal contexts.

The study employs a mixed-method research design, collecting data from a sample of 300 UEH students through quantitative surveys and qualitative interviews. It explores several critical areas, including the group’s effect on students’ foreign language proficiency, time management, and study habits, as well as their influence on students’ fashion choices, music preferences, and cultural awareness. The findings reveal that BLACKPINK has a significant positive influence on students’ academic motivation, particularly in enhancing foreign language skills (English and Korean) and fostering creativity and perseverance. Moreover, their work ethic and global success inspire student motivation, leading to increased commitment to academic pursuits and personal goals. BLACKPINK’s lifestyle influence extends to fashion trends, social media engagement, and a heightened interest in global issues and cultural awareness.

This study contributes to the growing body of K-pop research by illustrating how global pop culture can impact not only entertainment preferences but also educational motivation and lifestyle choices. The findings also hold practical implications for educators and educational institutions in terms of integrating students’ interests in popular culture with academic and personal development strategies.