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Advertisements are becoming more and more common in our everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in our everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

In this constantly-evolving world, due to advanced technology, advertising has emerged as pivotal method for businesses to garner publicity and increase brand awareness. This results in the omnipresence of advertisement in today's daily life, which exerts both beneficial and detrimental impacts on various aspects. In this essay, I will clarify the positive outcomes of this trend on three levels, including individuals, corporations and the community.

To begin with, the ubiquity of promotion campaigns positively influences individual customers. To be specific, the increasing frequency of advertising appearance facilitates the more seamless and convenient shopping experience by virtue of the accessibility to a multitude of types in a homogeneous product among target customers. A recent survey conducted in Hanoi revealed that 40% of customers believed the availability of product information published in the commercial adverts helped save their time and effort, enabling them to opt for the most suitable products in the hectic work life.

On the corporate level, the escalating prevalence of advertisement can significantly benefit the company’s development. This primarily is because the commercial method brings the product closer to the customers; as a result, the more customers are aware of the item, the higher sales it will gain, with the profit hike being subsequently seen as a ripple impact. As a result, the gained profit provides the company a favorable condition for further investment in research and development with the purpose of corporate progress and product enhancement. Moreover, besides the corporation, society can reap huge benefits from the proliferation of the advertising industry which paves the way for newly introduced positions in the job market. Undoubtedly, as this field plays an indispensable role in marketing strategies, businesses have a growing demand of high-quality specialized advertising professionals to shoulder the responsibilities in product promotion campaigns; therefore, this propensity will offer job choices and opportunities for laborers, leading to the low unemployment rate.

In conclusion, the inexorable popularity of advertisements leads to a myriad of advantageous impacts on different aspects of life. These encompass the effective shopping solution for customers, the increasing likelihood of profitability for enterprises, and the contribution to the economic betterment.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "constantly-evolving" -> "constantly evolving"
    Explanation: Removing the hyphen from "constantly-evolving" aligns with a more formal style. The hyphenated form is often considered less formal in academic writing.

  2. "garner publicity" -> "gain visibility"
    Explanation: "Garner publicity" is a bit informal. "Gain visibility" maintains the intended meaning while adopting a more academically appropriate phrase.

  3. "omnipresence" -> "ubiquity"
    Explanation: Replacing "omnipresence" with "ubiquity" maintains the idea of being everywhere but in a more formal and precise manner.

  4. "positive outcomes" -> "positive impacts"
    Explanation: "Positive outcomes" is a bit broad and informal. "Positive impacts" is a more specific and academically suitable term.

  5. "individuals, corporations and the community" -> "individuals, businesses, and society"
    Explanation: The term "corporations" is more narrowly focused than the broader term "businesses," and replacing "the community" with "society" maintains a formal tone while being more specific.

  6. "To be specific" -> "Specifically"
    Explanation: "To be specific" can be simplified to "Specifically" for a more concise and formal expression.

  7. "more seamless and convenient" -> "streamlined and convenient"
    Explanation: "More seamless" can be replaced with "streamlined" for a more sophisticated and formal description.

  8. "multitude of types in a homogeneous product" -> "variety within a homogeneous product"
    Explanation: "Multitude of types" can be replaced with "variety," and the phrase is restructured for better clarity and formality.

  9. "hike being subsequently seen" -> "increase being subsequently observed"
    Explanation: "Hike" is more informal, and "increase" is a more formal alternative. The phrase is adjusted for improved formality.

  10. "reap huge benefits" -> "derive significant benefits"
    Explanation: "Reap huge benefits" is somewhat informal. "Derive significant benefits" maintains formality while expressing the idea more precisely.

  11. "Undoubtedly" -> "Certainly"
    Explanation: "Undoubtedly" can be replaced with "Certainly" for a slightly more formal and nuanced expression.

  12. "this propensity" -> "this trend"
    Explanation: "This propensity" can be replaced with "this trend" for a more standard and formal term.

Note: The essay is well-written overall, and the suggested improvements are meant to enhance its formality and align with academic style guidelines.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay successfully addresses all parts of the question. It acknowledges the increasing prevalence of advertisements and explores both positive and negative impacts, focusing on individuals, corporations, and society.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed. The essay effectively analyzes the different dimensions of the prompt.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout by highlighting the positive outcomes of the prevalence of advertisements. The stance is consistent, and the thesis is effectively supported in each paragraph.
    • How to improve: Continue to ensure that each paragraph reinforces and supports the overall stance. Consider anticipating potential counterarguments and addressing them for a more nuanced discussion.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents, extends, and supports ideas effectively. Specific examples, such as the survey in Hanoi and the impact on corporate profitability, enhance the depth of the essay.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the essay, consider incorporating a greater variety of examples or adding more specific details to support arguments.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains focus on the impact of advertising in everyday life, discussing its effects on individuals, corporations, and society. There are no significant deviations from the topic.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed. The essay effectively stays on topic and provides a comprehensive analysis.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt, effectively addressing all checklist items. To improve further, the writer can consider incorporating a wider range of examples and details to support their arguments, providing an even more compelling and comprehensive discussion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that outlines the impact of advertising on different levels. Each subsequent paragraph explores a specific level (individuals, corporations, and society) in a clear and structured manner. The use of examples, such as the survey conducted in Hanoi, enhances the clarity and supports the logical progression of ideas.
    • How to improve: To further improve logical organization, consider reinforcing the connection between paragraphs. While the transition between individual, corporate, and societal impacts is evident, adding more explicit transition sentences can strengthen the overall coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to organize ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect (individuals, corporations, and society) and contains a topic sentence that introduces the main idea. However, the third paragraph discussing societal benefits could be further divided into two paragraphs for better emphasis on the benefits for businesses and the job market separately.
    • How to improve: Break down the third paragraph into two separate paragraphs. The first can focus on the benefits for businesses, and the second can address the societal impact on the job market. This will create a clearer structure and highlight the distinct advantages.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases ("To begin with," "Moreover," "In conclusion"). These devices contribute to the overall coherence by signaling the relationships between ideas and facilitating the smooth flow of information. Additionally, the use of specific examples, like the survey in Hanoi, enhances cohesion by providing concrete evidence.
    • How to improve: While the essay already utilizes cohesive devices effectively, consider incorporating more diverse vocabulary to avoid repetition. Synonyms for commonly used transitional phrases can add nuance to the essay’s language and further improve overall cohesion.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong coherence and cohesion, earning a Band Score of 7. To enhance this further, focus on reinforcing transitions between paragraphs, consider paragraph structure for optimal emphasis, and diversify cohesive devices for a more nuanced expression of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use varied words and phrases, but some repetition and reliance on common terms are noticeable. For instance, the repeated use of "advertisement," "product," and "campaign" could be diversified to enhance lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To broaden the vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and exploring different expressions for key concepts. For example, instead of repeatedly using "advertisement," alternatives like "promotional efforts" or "marketing initiatives" can be incorporated.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The precision of vocabulary usage is generally acceptable. However, there are instances where the choice of words could be more specific. For example, the phrase "ripple impact" might benefit from a more precise term to convey the intended meaning.
    • How to improve: Aim for greater precision by choosing words that precisely convey the intended meaning. In the case of "ripple impact," consider using a more specific term like "cascading effects" or "spillover consequences" to enhance clarity and nuance.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is reasonably good. However, there are some minor errors, such as "propensity," which should be "trend" in the given context. Additionally, there’s a lack of consistency in the use of British and American spelling (e.g., "favorable" and "favorable").
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to spelling consistency and minor errors. Consider proofreading the essay to catch and correct such issues. Additionally, be mindful of regional spelling variations and choose one standard (British or American) for consistency throughout the essay.

In conclusion, while the essay exhibits a satisfactory level of lexical resource, enhancing variety through synonyms, striving for greater precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling consistency can contribute to an improved lexical performance.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of varied sentence structures. It incorporates simple and complex sentences effectively. For instance, the essay begins with a complex sentence, "In this constantly-evolving world, due to advanced technology, advertising has emerged as a pivotal method for businesses to garner publicity and increase brand awareness," which sets the tone for the rest of the essay. There is also a mix of compound and compound-complex sentences throughout the essay, showcasing the writer’s ability to use a diverse range of structures.

    • How to improve: While the essay already employs a wide range of structures, further enrichment can be achieved by incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as using conditional sentences, relative clauses, or inversion for rhetorical effect. For instance, consider integrating sentences like, "Should advertising continue to evolve, its impact on society may become even more pronounced."

  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy. Sentences are well-constructed, and grammatical structures are appropriately used. For example, "To begin with, the ubiquity of promotion campaigns positively influences individual customers" showcases correct sentence structure and use of modifiers. Punctuation is generally accurate, with proper use of commas, semicolons, and colons where needed.

    • How to improve: While the essay is largely accurate, some sentences could benefit from minor adjustments for smoother flow. For instance, in the sentence "Undoubtedly, as this field plays an indispensable role in marketing strategies, businesses have a growing demand of high-quality specialized advertising professionals to shoulder the responsibilities in product promotion campaigns," consider breaking it into two sentences for clarity. Additionally, be mindful of parallelism in sentences to enhance overall coherence.

Overall, the essay exhibits a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy. To further enhance the score, focus on incorporating more intricate sentence structures and ensuring optimal punctuation usage for seamless readability.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this ever-changing world, driven by advanced technology, advertising has become a pivotal method for businesses to gain visibility and enhance brand awareness. This has resulted in the widespread presence of advertisements in our daily lives, exerting both positive and negative impacts on various aspects. In this essay, I will elaborate on the positive outcomes of this trend on three levels: individuals, corporations, and the community.

To start with, the prevalence of promotional campaigns positively influences individual customers. Specifically, the increasing frequency of advertising appearances facilitates a more streamlined and convenient shopping experience by providing access to a variety of options within a homogeneous product for target customers. A recent survey conducted in Hanoi revealed that 40% of customers believed that the availability of product information in commercial adverts helped save their time and effort, enabling them to choose the most suitable products in their busy work lives.

On the corporate level, the growing prevalence of advertising can significantly benefit a company’s development. This is primarily because the commercial method brings the product closer to customers; as a result, the more customers are aware of the item, the higher sales it will gain, with the subsequent increase in profit. Consequently, the gained profit provides the company with a favorable condition for further investment in research and development, aiming for corporate progress and product enhancement. Moreover, beyond the corporation, society can derive significant benefits from the proliferation of the advertising industry, which creates new job opportunities. Certainly, as this field plays an indispensable role in marketing strategies, businesses have a growing demand for high-quality specialized advertising professionals to handle responsibilities in product promotion campaigns. Therefore, this trend will offer job choices and opportunities for laborers, contributing to a lower unemployment rate.

In conclusion, the inexorable popularity of advertisements leads to a myriad of advantageous impacts on different aspects of life. These include effective shopping solutions for customers, increased profitability for enterprises, and contributions to economic betterment.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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