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Advertisements are becoming more and more common in our everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in our everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

In this constantly-evolving world, due to cutting-edge technology, advertising has become one of the pivotal methods for businesses to garner publicity to increase brand awareness. This results in the omnipresence of advertisement in today's daily life, which exerts both beneficial and detrimental impacts on various aspects. In this essay, I will clarify the desirable outcomes of this trend on three levels, including individuals, corporations and the community.

To begin with, the ubiquity of promotion campaigns positively influences individual customers. To be specific, the increasing frequency of advertising appearance facilitates the more effortless and convenient shopping experience thanks to the accessibility to a multitude of types in a homogeneous product among target customers. A recent survey conducted in Hanoi showed that 40% of customers believed the availability of product information published in the commercial adverts helped save their time and effort to opt for the most suitable products in the hectic work life.

On the corporation level, the increasing prevalence of advertisement can benefit the company’s development. This is because the commercial method brings the product closer to the customers; as a result, the more customers are aware of the item, the higher sales it will gain. The knock-on perk of this sales growth is the profit hike, which provides the company a favorable condition for the corporational progress and product enhancement. Moreover, society can reap huge benefits from the proliferation of the advertising industry which paves the way for newly introduced positions in the job market. As this field plays an indispensable role in marketing strategies, businesses have a growing demand of recruiting high-quality specialized advertising professionals in advertising to gain the competitive advantage in the marketplace. Therefore, more working positions are attributable to this propensity, which offers job choices and opportunities for the laborers leading to the low unemployment rate.

In conclusion, the inexorable popularity of advertisements leads to a myriad of advantageous impacts on different aspects of life. These include the effective shopping solution for customers, the increasing likelihood of profitability and the assistance in the betterment of economic conditions.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "due to cutting-edge technology" -> "owing to advanced technology"
    Explanation: Replacing "due to cutting-edge technology" with "owing to advanced technology" aligns better with academic style by using a more formal expression.

  2. "pivotal methods" -> "crucial methods"
    Explanation: Substituting "pivotal methods" with "crucial methods" maintains formality and introduces a more precise term, enhancing the sophistication of the expression.

  3. "omnipresence" -> "ubiquity"
    Explanation: Replacing "omnipresence" with "ubiquity" is a more formal choice, fitting the academic tone while conveying the idea of being present everywhere.

  4. "beneficial and detrimental impacts" -> "positive and negative effects"
    Explanation: Changing "beneficial and detrimental impacts" to "positive and negative effects" is more straightforward and aligns with a formal academic style.

  5. "clarify" -> "explore"
    Explanation: Substituting "clarify" with "explore" adds a more scholarly tone, suggesting a comprehensive examination of the desirable outcomes.

  6. "ubiquity of promotion campaigns" -> "widespread promotional campaigns"
    Explanation: Replacing "ubiquity of promotion campaigns" with "widespread promotional campaigns" maintains clarity while using a more formal and precise phrase.

  7. "be specific" -> "to be specific"
    Explanation: Adding "to" before "be specific" enhances the formality of the phrase, making it more suitable for academic writing.

  8. "effortless and convenient shopping experience" -> "seamless and convenient shopping experience"
    Explanation: Substituting "effortless" with "seamless" adds a more sophisticated touch to the description, maintaining a formal tone.

  9. "a multitude of types" -> "various types"
    Explanation: Replacing "a multitude of types" with "various types" simplifies the expression while preserving its meaning and formality.

  10. "in a homogeneous product" -> "within a standardized product"
    Explanation: Changing "in a homogeneous product" to "within a standardized product" provides a more precise description, adhering to academic language principles.

  11. "knock-on perk" -> "ripple effect"
    Explanation: Substituting "knock-on perk" with "ripple effect" introduces a more idiomatic yet academically appropriate phrase, maintaining a balance between formality and natural language flow.

  12. "corporational progress" -> "corporate progress"
    Explanation: Replacing "corporational progress" with "corporate progress" simplifies the term while maintaining its formal tone.

  13. "more working positions are attributable to this propensity" -> "this trend contributes to an increase in job opportunities"
    Explanation: Changing "more working positions are attributable to this propensity" to "this trend contributes to an increase in job opportunities" offers a clearer and more formal expression of the idea.

  14. "myriad of advantageous impacts" -> "a myriad of positive impacts"
    Explanation: Substituting "myriad of advantageous impacts" with "a myriad of positive impacts" maintains formality and provides a clearer expression of the positive outcomes.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. It discusses both the positive and negative impacts of the increasing prevalence of advertisements on individuals, corporations, and society. The essay mentions the positive influence on individuals’ shopping experiences and the benefits for corporations in terms of sales growth and profitability. Additionally, it highlights the societal advantages such as job creation in the advertising industry.
    • How to improve: While the essay is comprehensive, a more explicit acknowledgment of the negative aspects could further strengthen the argument. For instance, briefly mentioning potential drawbacks or counterarguments would demonstrate a nuanced understanding of the topic.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that the increasing popularity of advertisements has numerous advantageous impacts on various aspects of life. The stance is evident in each paragraph, and the writer consistently supports the positive effects of advertising.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, consider explicitly stating the position in the introduction and conclusion. This would reinforce the central theme and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, extending them with specific examples and supporting evidence. For instance, it cites a survey conducted in Hanoi to illustrate the positive impact of advertising on individual customers. The essay also discusses the benefits for corporations and society, providing detailed explanations and examples.
    • How to improve: To further enhance the depth of the essay, consider exploring potential counterarguments or addressing potential drawbacks to provide a more balanced perspective. This can demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the topic.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing the positive impacts of advertising as per the given prompt. However, there is a slight deviation in the introduction, where the focus is more on the general omnipresence of advertising due to technology, rather than explicitly addressing whether this is a positive or negative development.
    • How to improve: Ensure that the introduction clearly aligns with the prompt by expressing a viewpoint on whether the increasing prevalence of advertisements is positive or negative. This will strengthen the essay’s coherence and relevance to the given topic.

In summary, the essay effectively addresses the prompt, maintains a clear position, supports ideas with examples, and generally stays on topic. To improve, the essay could acknowledge potential counterarguments, explicitly state the position in the introduction and conclusion, and ensure the introduction aligns more closely with the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable level of logical organization. It begins with a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. Each subsequent paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the impact of advertisements, moving from individual benefits to corporate advantages and societal gains. The progression of ideas is coherent, and there is a clear conclusion summarizing the positive impacts of advertisements.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider explicitly signaling transitions between different levels of impact (individual, corporate, societal) to guide the reader through the essay’s structure. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph’s topic sentence aligns with the overall thesis and maintains a clear focus on the assigned topic.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to organize ideas. Each paragraph is devoted to a specific aspect of the essay’s thesis, with clear topic sentences and supporting details. The introduction and conclusion are appropriately separate from the body paragraphs.
    • How to improve: While the paragraph structure is generally effective, ensure that each paragraph contains a balance of depth and breadth in discussing the presented ideas. Consider expanding on specific examples or providing more nuanced explanations to strengthen the overall argument.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay makes adequate use of cohesive devices to connect ideas. Transition words and phrases, such as "To begin with," and "Moreover," contribute to the overall coherence. Pronouns are used effectively to reference previously mentioned concepts.
    • How to improve: To enhance cohesion, incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices. Consider utilizing synonyms for repeated words to maintain linguistic diversity. Additionally, pay attention to the nuanced use of transition words to ensure a seamless flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will contribute to a more sophisticated and cohesive presentation of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to incorporate varied words, but the diversity is not consistently maintained. For example, terms like "cutting-edge technology," "omnipresence," "knock-on perk," and "corporational progress" show an attempt at variety, but there’s room for improvement in expanding the vocabulary further.
    • How to improve: To enhance the score in this criterion, consider incorporating more nuanced and sophisticated vocabulary. Instead of repeating certain words like "advertisement" or "advertising," explore synonyms and delve into more intricate language choices. For instance, the use of synonyms for "beneficial" and "detrimental" could add depth to the vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay tends to use vocabulary in a general sense, lacking precision in some instances. For example, the phrase "corporational progress" is imprecise, and the term "knock-on perk" might be unclear to some readers. Additionally, phrases like "more effortless and convenient shopping experience" could be made more concise and specific.
    • How to improve: Aim for precision by selecting words that precisely convey your intended meaning. Replace vague terms with more specific ones. Instead of "corporational progress," consider alternatives like "business advancement" or "corporate development." Additionally, strive for clarity by simplifying complex expressions; for instance, "more effortless and convenient shopping experience" can be streamlined to "convenient shopping."
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains correct spelling throughout. However, there are a few instances where minor errors occur, such as "corporational" (should be "corporate") and "laborers" (laborers leading to the low unemployment rate" could be revised for smoother flow).
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofread the essay carefully, paying attention to details. In particular, focus on words with corporate-related terminology, ensuring correctness. Additionally, review sentence structures for coherence, ensuring that phrases like "leading to the low unemployment rate" are smoothly integrated into the context.

Overall, the essay exhibits a commendable effort in lexical resource, but refining vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy could elevate the score to a higher band.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of sentence structures. It effectively employs complex sentences, compound sentences, and simple sentences, contributing to overall coherence. However, there is room for improvement in the variety of sentence structures. The majority of sentences are of moderate length, and some could benefit from more intricate structures to enhance overall fluency and engagement.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying sentence lengths. For instance, introduce subordinate clauses or use transitional phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences. This will add nuance and sophistication to the essay.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates sound grammatical accuracy. However, there are instances of minor grammatical errors, such as in the phrase "the increasing frequency of advertising appearance." The use of "appearance" may create confusion, and a clearer expression would be "the increasing frequency of advertising."
      Additionally, there is an issue with the phrase "the knock-on perk of this sales growth is the profit hike." The term "knock-on perk" is informal; a more formal expression could be "a consequential benefit."
      Punctuation is generally accurate, but there are occasional comma splices and missing commas in complex sentences.
    • How to improve: Review and revise sentences for clarity, avoiding informal expressions. Pay close attention to comma usage, ensuring correct placement to enhance sentence structure. Consider seeking feedback on specific grammatical points to refine accuracy further. A thorough proofreading will help eliminate minor errors, enhancing overall writing quality.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammar and a reasonable range of sentence structures. To elevate the score, focus on refining grammatical accuracy by addressing minor errors and enhancing sentence variety through more complex structures.

Bài sửa mẫu

In our ever-changing world, owing to advanced technology, advertising has become a crucial method for businesses to gain publicity and increase brand awareness. This has resulted in the widespread presence of advertisements in our daily lives, with both positive and negative effects on various aspects. In this essay, I will highlight the desirable outcomes of this trend on three levels: individuals, corporations, and the community.

To start with, the ubiquity of promotional campaigns has a positive impact on individual customers. To be specific, the increasing frequency of advertising makes shopping more seamless and convenient. This is because customers have easy access to a variety of product types within a standardized product. A recent survey in Hanoi revealed that 40% of customers believed that product information available in commercial adverts helped save time and effort, enabling them to choose the most suitable products in their busy work lives.

On the corporate level, the growing prevalence of advertising can benefit the company’s development. This is because advertising brings the product closer to customers, leading to increased awareness and higher sales. The ripple effect of this sales growth is a boost in profits, creating favorable conditions for corporate progress and product enhancement. Moreover, society can benefit from the expansion of the advertising industry, creating new job opportunities. As businesses increasingly require high-quality advertising professionals to gain a competitive edge, the job market sees a rise in demand for specialized advertising roles. Consequently, this trend contributes to an increase in job opportunities, offering choices and prospects for workers and contributing to a low unemployment rate.

In conclusion, the unstoppable popularity of advertisements brings about a myriad of positive impacts on different aspects of life. These include providing an efficient shopping solution for customers, increasing the likelihood of profitability for businesses, and contributing to the betterment of economic conditions.

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