Advertisements or becoming common in everyday life. Do you think advertisements bring more advantages or disadvantages?

In today's world, advertisements have become an integral part of everyday life, appearing almost everywhere from television screens to social media platforms. While some argue that advertisements bring significant benefits by keeping consumers informed, others believe they cause more harm than good. This essay will discuss both perspectives before concluding that the disadvantages of advertisements outweigh the advantages.

On the one hand, advertisements can offer significant benefits to consumers by providing valuable information about various products and services. They allow consumers to learn about the features, benefits, and quality of different products, helping them make more informed decisions. This increased awareness can lead to higher sales and revenues for businesses, which in turn can boost local economic growth. For instance, when purchasing a new phone, consumers can easily compare different brands and models based on the advertisements they see, leading to better buying choices. In contrast, in the past, consumers often made poor purchasing decisions due to the lack of accessible information. Thus, advertisements play a crucial role in enhancing consumer awareness and driving economic benefits.

On the other hand, advertisements can also have significant drawbacks, particularly in promoting impulsive purchasing behavior. Many advertisements use persuasive techniques and eye-catching gimmicks to make consumers feel an urgent need to buy something immediately. This often leads to regret, overspending, and the purchase of products that are not needed. For example, fans of celebrities might buy products endorsed by their idols, even if they have no practical use for them. Hence, the manipulative nature of many advertisements can result in financial waste and dissatisfaction.

Moreover, advertisements can be extremely annoying and disruptive to consumers. For instance, promotional videos frequently interrupt online content, forcing viewers to sit through multiple ads before they can access their desired material. This can lead to a high level of frustration and a negative viewing experience. Consequently, the intrusive nature of advertisements can diminish the enjoyment of content and foster a negative attitude towards brands.

In conclusion, while advertisements have the potential to inform and benefit consumers, their tendency to encourage impulsive buying and cause annoyance often outweighs these benefits. Although they provide valuable information and drive economic growth, the disadvantages, such as wasteful spending and consumer frustration, are significant. Therefore, it is crucial to strike a balance between informative advertising and consumer protection from its more manipulative aspects.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In today’s world" -> "In the contemporary world"
Explanation: "In the contemporary world" is a more formal and precise phrase that enhances the academic tone of the essay.
"almost everywhere" -> "ubiquitous"
Explanation: The word "ubiquitous" is more precise and formal, effectively conveying the widespread presence of advertisements without the vagueness of "almost everywhere."
"bring significant benefits" -> "yield substantial benefits"
Explanation: "Yield" is a more formal synonym for "bring," which is more suitable for academic writing, emphasizing the outcome of actions in a more precise manner.
"cause more harm than good" -> "pose more harm than benefits"
Explanation: "Pose" is a more formal verb that is commonly used in academic contexts to discuss potential risks or negative effects, making it more appropriate than "cause" in this context.
"On the one hand" -> "On the one hand, however"
Explanation: Adding "however" after "On the one hand" introduces a contrast more explicitly, enhancing the formal structure of the argument.
"allow consumers to learn" -> "enable consumers to acquire"
Explanation: "Enable" is a more formal and precise verb than "allow," which is somewhat informal and vague in this context, improving the academic tone.
"helping them make more informed decisions" -> "facilitating more informed decision-making"
Explanation: "Facilitating" is a more formal term that enhances the academic tone, and "decision-making" is a more precise term than "decisions," which is more commonly used in formal writing.
"boost local economic growth" -> "stimulate local economic development"
Explanation: "Stimulate" is a more precise term that suggests a more active and intentional impact on economic growth, which is more suitable for academic discourse.
"Many advertisements use" -> "Numerous advertisements employ"
Explanation: "Employ" is a more formal verb than "use," and "numerous" is a more precise adjective than "many," fitting better in an academic context.
"feel an urgent need" -> "perceive an immediate necessity"
Explanation: "Perceive an immediate necessity" is a more formal and precise way to describe the emotional response to advertisements, aligning better with academic style.
"often leads to regret" -> "frequently results in regret"
Explanation: "Frequently results in" is a more formal expression than "often leads to," which is slightly informal and less precise.
"fans of celebrities" -> "celebrity enthusiasts"
Explanation: "Celebrity enthusiasts" is a more formal and precise term than "fans of celebrities," which is colloquial and less specific.
"have no practical use for them" -> "lack practical utility"
Explanation: "Lack practical utility" is a more formal and concise way to express the idea that something is not useful, fitting better in an academic essay.
"can be extremely annoying" -> "can be highly intrusive"
Explanation: "Intrusive" is a more specific and formal term than "annoying," which is somewhat informal and vague in this context, better suited for academic writing.
"foster a negative attitude" -> "promote a negative perception"
Explanation: "Promote a negative perception" is a more formal and precise phrase than "foster a negative attitude," which is slightly informal and less specific.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of advertisements. It begins by acknowledging the benefits of advertisements in informing consumers and driving economic growth, then transitions to discussing the drawbacks, such as impulsive buying and annoyance. The essay clearly outlines these perspectives, culminating in a conclusion that states the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the writer could consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made about both the advantages and disadvantages. For instance, citing studies on consumer behavior in relation to advertisements could strengthen the argument and provide a more robust analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that the disadvantages of advertisements outweigh the advantages. This stance is consistently reinforced in both the body paragraphs and the conclusion. The use of phrases like "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" helps to clearly delineate the two sides of the argument, while the concluding statement reiterates the author’s viewpoint effectively.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the writer could enhance the essay by explicitly stating their position in the introduction. A more definitive thesis statement could help guide the reader’s expectations and strengthen the overall argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas clearly, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The writer extends these ideas by providing examples, such as the comparison of purchasing behavior with and without advertisements. However, while the examples are relevant, they could be elaborated upon further to deepen the analysis. For instance, discussing the psychological impact of advertisements on consumer behavior could provide additional depth.
- How to improve: To improve the support for ideas, the writer should aim to include more detailed examples and perhaps counterarguments to strengthen the discussion. Engaging with opposing views more thoroughly could also enhance the overall argument and demonstrate a deeper critical engagement with the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of advertisements without deviating from the central question. Each point made is relevant to the prompt, and the logical flow of ideas contributes to a coherent argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus even more effectively, the writer could ensure that each point made directly ties back to the central thesis. Occasionally reiterating how a specific advantage or disadvantage relates to the overall argument could reinforce the essay’s coherence and clarity.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the author’s perspective. By incorporating more detailed examples, enhancing the thesis statement, and engaging with counterarguments, the writer could elevate their score even further.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure, effectively introducing the topic and outlining both sides of the argument before reaching a conclusion. The introduction sets the stage by acknowledging the dual perspectives on advertisements, while each body paragraph systematically explores one side of the argument. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the advantages of advertisements, followed by the second body paragraph addressing the disadvantages. This clear progression helps the reader follow the argument easily.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, consider using more explicit signposting throughout the essay. For instance, phrases like "Firstly," "Secondly," and "In conclusion," can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea would strengthen the overall coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively utilizes paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The clear division between the advantages and disadvantages of advertisements aids in maintaining clarity and focus. Each paragraph is well-developed, with examples that support the main points. However, the transition between the two body paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the overall flow.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, consider adding transitional phrases at the end of each paragraph to connect ideas more fluidly. For example, after discussing the advantages, a sentence like "However, despite these benefits, there are notable drawbacks that must be considered" could serve as a bridge to the next paragraph. This would create a more cohesive narrative throughout the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing, to link ideas within and between sentences. Phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" effectively signal contrasting viewpoints. Additionally, the use of examples, such as the reference to purchasing a phone, helps to illustrate points clearly. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded to enhance the sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate more varied linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "for example," consider alternatives like "for instance," "such as," or "to illustrate." Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as "not only… but also" or "in addition to," can help to create more nuanced connections between ideas and enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, further solidifying its effectiveness in communicating the argument.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively using terms such as "integral," "persuasive techniques," and "impulsive purchasing behavior." The writer employs varied expressions to convey nuanced ideas, such as "financial waste" and "negative viewing experience," which enhance the overall quality of the argument. However, there are moments where more advanced or less common synonyms could have been utilized to further enrich the vocabulary. For example, instead of "significant benefits," the writer could have used "substantial advantages" to add variety.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical range, the writer should aim to incorporate more advanced vocabulary and synonyms throughout the essay. Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises can help identify alternative expressions that convey similar meanings but with greater sophistication.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary with a high degree of precision. Terms like "manipulative nature" and "consumer awareness" are aptly chosen, clearly conveying the intended meaning. However, there are instances where the precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "the purchase of products that are not needed" could be more succinctly expressed as "unnecessary purchases," which would enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using concise phrases that convey the meaning without redundancy. Practicing paraphrasing exercises can help in honing the ability to express ideas succinctly and accurately.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "advertisements," "integral," and "overspending" are spelled correctly throughout the text, contributing to the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer should continue to proofread their work to maintain this standard. Additionally, engaging in regular reading and writing practice can reinforce correct spelling habits and familiarize the writer with less common words that may appear in academic contexts.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, achieving a band score of 8. By focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can further refine their lexical skills for future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For example, it effectively employs complex sentences, such as "While some argue that advertisements bring significant benefits by keeping consumers informed, others believe they cause more harm than good." This showcases the writer’s ability to convey contrasting ideas within a single sentence. Additionally, the use of conditional structures is evident in phrases like "if they have no practical use for them," which adds depth to the argument. However, there are instances of simpler sentence constructions that could be enhanced for greater complexity and sophistication.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more compound-complex sentences and varied introductory phrases. For instance, instead of repeating "On the one hand" and "On the other hand," the writer could use alternatives like "Conversely" or "In contrast" to introduce differing viewpoints. Additionally, integrating more subordinate clauses could enrich the text, such as using relative clauses to provide additional information about subjects or objects.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors. For instance, the phrase "the purchase of products that are not needed" is correctly structured, demonstrating the writer’s understanding of noun phrases. Punctuation is also used effectively, with commas appropriately placed to separate clauses and enhance readability. However, there is a slight inconsistency in the use of commas in complex sentences, such as in "Thus, advertisements play a crucial role in enhancing consumer awareness and driving economic benefits," where the comma before "and" is not necessary.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation skills, the writer should focus on reviewing comma usage, particularly in complex sentences. Practicing the rules regarding independent and dependent clauses can help clarify when commas are necessary. Additionally, proofreading for minor grammatical errors, such as ensuring subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, can further enhance the overall quality of the writing.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. By continuing to diversify sentence structures and refining grammatical and punctuation skills, the writer can aim for an even higher level of proficiency in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, advertisements have become an integral part of everyday life, appearing almost everywhere from television screens to social media platforms. While some argue that advertisements bring significant benefits by keeping consumers informed, others believe they pose more harm than good. This essay will discuss both perspectives before concluding that the disadvantages of advertisements outweigh the advantages.

On the one hand, advertisements can offer substantial benefits to consumers by providing valuable information about various products and services. They enable consumers to acquire knowledge about the features, benefits, and quality of different products, helping them make more informed decisions. This increased awareness can lead to higher sales and revenues for businesses, which in turn can stimulate local economic development. For instance, when purchasing a new phone, consumers can easily compare different brands and models based on the advertisements they see, leading to better buying choices. In contrast, in the past, consumers often made poor purchasing decisions due to the lack of accessible information. Thus, advertisements play a crucial role in enhancing consumer awareness and driving economic benefits.

On the other hand, advertisements can also have significant drawbacks, particularly in promoting impulsive purchasing behavior. Numerous advertisements employ persuasive techniques and eye-catching gimmicks to make consumers perceive an immediate necessity to buy something. This often results in regret, overspending, and the purchase of products that are not needed. For example, celebrity enthusiasts might buy products endorsed by their idols, even if they lack practical utility. Hence, the manipulative nature of many advertisements can result in financial waste and dissatisfaction.

Moreover, advertisements can be highly intrusive and disruptive to consumers. For instance, promotional videos frequently interrupt online content, forcing viewers to sit through multiple ads before they can access their desired material. This can lead to a high level of frustration and a negative viewing experience. Consequently, the intrusive nature of advertisements can diminish the enjoyment of content and promote a negative perception towards brands.