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All natural resources are limited. It is important that all companies make products that can be used for many years. What extent do you agree or disagree?

All natural resources are limited. It is important that all companies make products that can be used for many years.
What extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a depletion in all natural resources, which are extremely essential for various enterprises manufacturing products with longer lifetime. From my perspective, I totally agree that companies in different regions of the world should adopt durable utilization in the manufacturing process.

Firstly, durable utilization will mitigate the considerable amount of energy waste in the environment. This can be explained that if companies manufacture products with longer life expectancy, they can assist customers to have the commitment with items in the long-term. Customers will not need to replace interior products with low rates of expectancy, which will result in low demand of consumption, encouraging companies to minimize natural resource exploitation. Another noteworthy point is that organizations can reduce adverse impact on the environment when opting for durable product manufacture. Compared to less durable products, which require a lot of energy to produce, resulting in greenhouse gas, durable items alleviate the fuel and fumes released to the environment. For example, Starbucks has utilized products that can be used for a long period to show their responsibility to the environment. As a result, companies can save considerable energy and protect the environment.

Furthermore, if durable products are produced by organizations, it will lead to extensive time for the natural environment to recover itself before the cycle begins anew. A prime example is that building a log house is considered a durable product, which entails cutting trees to get those logs. By creating a log house lasting for as long as the trees regrow for reproduction next house. Another noticeable point is that it brings an economic benefit. It is evident that when natural resources have enough time to regenerate, there will not be a shortage in energy for companies to manufacture products. Thus, more companies are available on the market to meet customer’s demand, and the price will not be exorbitant, allowing a vast array of customers to afford.

In conclusion, it is necessary for all organizations globally to implement production of durable items since it minimizes the impact on the environment, and abstains from natural depletion in our lives. Additionally, individuals also can save considerable expenses by purchasing reusable products.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "extremely essential" -> "crucially important"
    Explanation: Replacing "extremely essential" with "crucially important" enhances the formality and clarity of the sentence without sacrificing natural language flow.

  2. "From my perspective" -> "In my view"
    Explanation: "From my perspective" is slightly informal; "In my view" is a more academically appropriate phrase for expressing one’s opinion.

  3. "durable utilization" -> "sustainable utilization"
    Explanation: "Sustainable utilization" is a more precise term for discussing the use of resources in a way that minimizes depletion. It aligns better with academic language.

  4. "mitigate" -> "reduce"
    Explanation: "Mitigate" is a slightly more formal word, but "reduce" maintains an academic tone while being more straightforward.

  5. "considerable amount of energy waste" -> "significant energy wastage"
    Explanation: "Considerable amount of energy waste" can be expressed more formally as "significant energy wastage."

  6. "commitment with items" -> "long-term commitment to products"
    Explanation: "Commitment with items" is less clear and formal. "Long-term commitment to products" is a more precise and formal expression.

  7. "interior products" -> "products prematurely"
    Explanation: "Interior products" is not clear in this context. "Products prematurely" conveys the intended meaning more effectively.

  8. "low rates of expectancy" -> "short lifespans"
    Explanation: "Low rates of expectancy" can be simplified to "short lifespans" for better clarity and conciseness.

  9. "encouraging companies to minimize" -> "prompting companies to reduce"
    Explanation: "Encouraging companies to minimize" can be replaced with "prompting companies to reduce" to maintain an academic tone.

  10. "adverse impact" -> "negative impact"
    Explanation: "Adverse impact" can be replaced with "negative impact" for a more straightforward and formal expression.

  11. "alleviate the fuel and fumes released" -> "reduce the emissions of fuel and fumes"
    Explanation: "Alleviate the fuel and fumes released" can be clarified as "reduce the emissions of fuel and fumes" for formal writing.

  12. "Starbucks has utilized products" -> "Starbucks has employed products"
    Explanation: "Utilized" can be replaced with "employed" for a slightly more formal word choice.

  13. "extensive time for the natural environment" -> "ample time for the natural environment"
    Explanation: "Extensive time" can be replaced with "ample time" for a more formal tone.

  14. "regenerate" -> "replenish"
    Explanation: "Regenerate" can be substituted with "replenish" for a more precise and formal term.

  15. "prime example" -> "illustrative example"
    Explanation: "Prime example" can be replaced with "illustrative example" for a more formal expression.

  16. "an economic benefit" -> "economic advantages"
    Explanation: "An economic benefit" can be refined to "economic advantages" for greater formality.

  17. "a shortage in energy" -> "an energy shortage"
    Explanation: "A shortage in energy" can be rephrased as "an energy shortage" for improved clarity.

  18. "price will not be exorbitant" -> "prices will remain reasonable"
    Explanation: "Price will not be exorbitant" can be expressed more formally as "prices will remain reasonable."

  19. "vast array of customers" -> "a wide range of customers"
    Explanation: "Vast array of customers" can be replaced with "a wide range of customers" for a more formal and precise expression.

  20. "exorbitant expenses" -> "excessive costs"
    Explanation: "Exorbitant expenses" can be substituted with "excessive costs" for a more formal term.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "There is a depletion in all natural resources, which are extremely essential for various enterprises manufacturing products with longer lifetime. From my perspective, I totally agree that companies in different regions of the world should adopt durable utilization in the manufacturing process."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction effectively presents your viewpoint on the importance of companies adopting durable manufacturing practices due to the depletion of natural resources. However, it would be beneficial to briefly outline the main reasons or arguments you will discuss in the body of your essay. This would provide a clear roadmap for the reader and enhance the overall structure.

    • Improved example: "In this essay, I will argue that the depletion of natural resources necessitates companies worldwide to embrace durable manufacturing practices. I will support this stance by discussing the environmental benefits and economic advantages of such an approach."

  2. Quoted text: "Firstly, durable utilization will mitigate the considerable amount of energy waste in the environment. This can be explained that if companies manufacture products with longer life expectancy, they can assist customers to have the commitment with items in the long-term. Customers will not need to replace interior products with low rates of expectancy, which will result in low demand of consumption, encouraging companies to minimize natural resource exploitation."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your first point about the environmental benefits of durable utilization is well-presented. However, you could improve clarity by specifying how durable products reduce energy waste and explaining the concept of customer commitment more explicitly.

    • Improved example: "To begin with, the adoption of durable manufacturing practices can significantly reduce energy waste in the environment. This is because when companies produce items with longer life expectancy, customers are more likely to commit to using them over the long term. As a result, there is a reduced need for frequent replacements of low-life expectancy products, leading to decreased consumption and, consequently, a decrease in natural resource exploitation."

  3. Quoted text: "Furthermore, if durable products are produced by organizations, it will lead to extensive time for the natural environment to recover itself before the cycle begins anew. A prime example is that building a log house is considered a durable product, which entails cutting trees to get those logs. By creating a log house lasting for as long as the trees regrow for reproduction next house. Another noticeable point is that it brings an economic benefit."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your second point regarding the time for the natural environment to recover and the example of a log house is clear and relevant. However, you can enhance the essay by providing a more detailed explanation of the economic benefits of durable products.

    • Improved example: "Furthermore, the production of durable products allows ample time for the natural environment to regenerate before the resource cycle begins anew. For instance, consider the construction of a log house, which is a prime example of a durable product. While it involves cutting down trees for logs, these trees have the opportunity to regrow over time, ensuring a sustainable resource. Additionally, the durability of such products brings significant economic benefits by stabilizing resource availability and preventing price spikes due to resource scarcity."

Overall, your essay effectively presents your viewpoint on the importance of durable utilization in manufacturing to address the depletion of natural resources. To enhance it further, focus on providing more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments, and ensure a clear essay structure by outlining the main points in your introduction.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, warranting a band score of 7.0. Here’s why:

  1. Logical Organization: The essay logically organizes information and ideas with clear progression throughout. It follows a typical essay structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic and contributes to the overall argument.

  2. Cohesive Devices: The essay effectively uses cohesive devices to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Transition words and phrases like "Firstly," "Furthermore," and "In conclusion" help guide the reader through the essay’s flow. These cohesive devices enhance the clarity of the argument.

  3. Paragraphing: The essay uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point or aspect of the argument, and there’s a logical progression from one paragraph to the next.

However, there are some minor areas for improvement:

How to improve:

  1. Vocabulary and Expression: To reach a higher band score, the essay could benefit from a more varied and sophisticated vocabulary. The use of more advanced vocabulary and expressions can enhance the overall quality of the essay.

  2. Grammar and Sentence Structure: While the essay generally maintains coherence, there are a few instances where sentence structures could be improved for greater clarity. Some sentences are lengthy and complex, which might make them slightly harder to follow.

  3. Examples and Evidence: Providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments would strengthen the essay. While there is a reference to Starbucks, more real-world examples or statistics could bolster the points made.

Overall, this essay effectively addresses the topic and maintains coherence and cohesion throughout, earning a band score of 7.0.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably wide range of vocabulary, which allows for flexibility and precision in expression. There are several instances of less common lexical items and appropriate word choice and collocation. However, some occasional errors in word choice and collocation do occur, and minor errors in spelling and word formation are present.

The essay effectively conveys the ideas, with a coherent and well-structured argument. It discusses the importance of companies manufacturing durable products to conserve natural resources and reduce environmental impact. The examples provided, such as Starbucks using durable products, enhance the lexical richness of the essay. The author also touches upon the economic benefits of producing durable items, showing some awareness of style and collocation.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a good grasp of vocabulary and lexical features, with some room for improvement in terms of accuracy in word choice and collocation.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the author should aim for greater precision and accuracy in word choice and collocation. Proofreading to eliminate minor errors in spelling and word formation is essential. Additionally, incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary, while ensuring it is used correctly, can further enhance the lexical resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, warranting a Band 8 score. It utilizes a variety of complex sentence structures effectively. Most sentences are error-free, and errors that do occur are occasional and considered minor "slips" rather than pervasive issues. The essay effectively conveys its ideas with clarity and precision.

The use of complex sentence structures is evident throughout the essay, showcasing a wide range of grammatical structures. For example, sentences such as "A prime example is that building a log house is considered a durable product, which entails cutting trees to get those logs" and "Thus, more companies are available on the market to meet customer’s demand, and the price will not be exorbitant, allowing a vast array of customers to afford" demonstrate the ability to use complex sentences to convey ideas.

Although there are minor errors, such as "durable utilization" (a more natural phrase would be "durable utilization practices"), and some awkward phrasing like "which will result in low demand of consumption," these issues do not significantly hinder communication and are infrequent in occurrence.

Overall, the essay exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with occasional minor errors that do not detract from its overall coherence and effectiveness.

How to improve:
To further improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the author can focus on refining sentence structures and addressing minor errors. Paying attention to word choice and idiomatic expressions can enhance the fluency of the essay. Additionally, thorough proofreading can help eliminate minor slips and improve overall clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a depletion of natural resources, which are essential for various companies to manufacture products that last longer. From my perspective, I completely agree that companies worldwide should adopt the practice of producing long-lasting products.

Firstly, creating durable products can significantly reduce energy waste in the environment. This is because when companies make products with a longer lifespan, they encourage customers to commit to these items for the long term. Customers won’t need to replace products with low life expectancy, leading to reduced consumption and a decreased need for natural resource exploitation. Another important point is that organizations can minimize their negative impact on the environment by choosing to manufacture durable products. Compared to less durable alternatives that require a lot of energy to produce and result in greenhouse gas emissions, durable items contribute to lower fuel consumption and fewer emissions. For instance, Starbucks has embraced the use of long-lasting products to demonstrate their commitment to the environment, resulting in energy savings and environmental protection.

Furthermore, the production of durable products allows for more time for the natural environment to regenerate before the cycle begins again. For example, building a log house is considered a durable product, and it involves cutting trees for the logs. However, when the log house lasts as long as it takes for the trees to regrow, it ensures a sustainable cycle. Another significant benefit is economic in nature. When natural resources have sufficient time to replenish themselves, there won’t be an energy shortage for companies to manufacture products. This leads to more companies available in the market to meet customer demand, which in turn keeps prices affordable for a wide range of customers.

In conclusion, it is essential for all companies globally to adopt the production of durable items as it reduces environmental impact and prevents the depletion of natural resources. Additionally, individuals can save significant expenses by choosing to purchase reusable products.

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