Although software programs are now available for translating languages, there are still many advantages to learning foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary society, it is believed that high-modern technology has provided many benefits for translating languages, but learning foreign languages still plays a crucial role in human’s life. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with this opinion for some reasons below.
To begin with, there is no doubt that translation software allows individuals to understand many different languages more easily. In the past, before the appearance of translating applicants, if humans want to go abroad, they would like to learn a new language to communicate. It might have taken months or years to possess a passable command of a single given language. Thus, the prevalence of some translating programs such as Google Translate have provided a remarkable shift in communicating and connecting the human’s society, in which people can travel to foreign countries without spending time learning language.
However, language learning is still necessary because it allows learners to gain a deeper insight into new cultures and become more effective language users. A language is meaningfully more than simply a means of communication as it establishes a vital connection with the cultural identity of the people who speak it. For example, in the process of learning Chinese, individuals can gradually understand more about Chinese culture via their lessons. Learners will then be more likely to know which manners are considered appropriate by the Chinese as well as which ones should be avoided, thereby avoiding offense when communicating with native language speakers. Additionally, it is inconvenient when individuals must consistently stop during conversations to seek help from translation software. By becoming proficient in a language, individuals can respond instantly and chat more comfortably with foreigners.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that despite the development and helpfulness of translation applicants, learning foreign languages still brings several benefits in learning new cultures, and also flexibility when communication.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
"high-modern technology" -> "advanced technology"
Explanation: "High-modern" is an uncommon term. "Advanced technology" is a more standard and formal phrase, conveying the same meaning without being overly complex.
"humans want to go abroad" -> "individuals wish to travel abroad"
Explanation: Using "humans" in this context sounds overly general and less formal. "Individuals" and "wish to travel abroad" provide a more precise and formal expression.
"possess a passable command" -> "attain a reasonable proficiency"
Explanation: "Possess a passable command" is slightly awkward. "Attain a reasonable proficiency" maintains formality and clarity while describing language ability.
"translating applicants" -> "translation applications"
Explanation: "Translating applicants" doesn’t accurately convey the intended meaning. "Translation applications" is a more appropriate term for software used for translation.
"remarkable shift in communicating" -> "significant change in communication"
Explanation: "Remarkable shift in communicating" is slightly informal. "Significant change in communication" maintains a formal tone while expressing the same idea.
"human’s society" -> "society"
Explanation: Using "human’s society" sounds possessive and a bit unnatural. Removing "human’s" keeps the sentence more concise and natural.
"in which people can travel to foreign countries" -> "enabling travel to foreign countries"
Explanation: The suggested change offers a more direct and concise way to express the same idea.
"considered appropriate by the Chinese" -> "deemed appropriate in Chinese culture"
Explanation: This change specifies the culture more clearly and uses a more formal structure.
"it is inconvenient" -> "it becomes inconvenient"
Explanation: The alteration in tense provides better flow in the sentence structure.
"must consistently stop during conversations" -> "constantly interrupt conversations"
Explanation: The suggested phrase offers a more active and concise way of expressing the interruption in conversation due to translation reliance.
"chat more comfortably" -> "engage in more fluent conversations"
Explanation: "Chat more comfortably" is a bit informal. "Engage in more fluent conversations" maintains formality while conveying the idea.
"development and helpfulness of translation applicants" -> "advancements in translation technology"
Explanation: This change substitutes a more suitable term, "advancements," and clarifies the phrase "translation applicants" to "translation technology."
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses all parts of the question. It acknowledges the advantages of translation software while expressing strong agreement with the importance of learning foreign languages for cultural understanding and effective communication. Relevant sections include the acknowledgment of translation software benefits and the importance of language learning for cultural insight.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, consider providing a more explicit acknowledgment of potential counterarguments or opposing views on the role of translation software and language learning.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout, expressing strong agreement with the importance of learning foreign languages. Examples, such as the mention of Chinese language learning and its cultural insights, contribute to the clarity of the stance.
- How to improve: To further enhance clarity, ensure that the language used to express agreement is consistently strong and assertive throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas. It elaborates on the benefits of translation software and the deeper significance of learning foreign languages, providing specific examples such as the impact on cultural understanding and communication.
- How to improve: To add depth, consider providing more diverse examples or incorporating additional details to further illustrate the advantages of both translation software and language learning.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay predominantly stays on topic, focusing on the advantages of learning foreign languages despite the availability of translation software. However, there are minor deviations, such as the initial emphasis on technology in society.
- How to improve: Maintain a more consistent focus on the core topic by minimizing tangential discussions. Ensure that each paragraph directly contributes to the overall argument about the advantages of learning foreign languages.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively addresses each criterion for Task Response. To further enhance the response, consider acknowledging potential counterarguments, maintaining consistent language to express agreement, providing more diverse examples, and minimizing minor deviations to stay on topic. Overall, this essay effectively communicates a well-supported perspective on the importance of learning foreign languages despite the availability of translation software.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally logical organization by following a typical structure of introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are moments where the progression of ideas could be smoother. For instance, the transition between discussing the advantages of translation software and the importance of learning languages could be more seamless. While the essay addresses both perspectives, the link between these ideas could be strengthened for clearer coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Consider a more explicit transition sentence or phrase at the end of each paragraph, connecting the advantages of translation software to the significance of language learning. This could create a more cohesive and seamless progression of arguments.
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively to separate distinct ideas, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a single main point, presenting relevant examples and explanations to support the argument. However, some paragraphs tend to be slightly lengthy, which may affect readability and clarity of the presented ideas.
- How to improve: Aim for more concise and focused paragraphs. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller, more digestible units, each centered around a single supporting idea or example. This approach can enhance readability and ensure that each point is clearly articulated without overwhelming the reader with excessive information in one paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate use of cohesive devices. There is evidence of cohesive devices such as ‘to begin with,’ ‘however,’ and ‘in conclusion,’ aiding in signaling transitions between different parts of the essay. However, the essay could benefit from a wider variety of cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between sentences and paragraphs.
- How to improve: Incorporate a more diverse range of cohesive devices. Utilize linking words and phrases (e.g., moreover, consequently, nevertheless) to establish stronger relationships between ideas within and between paragraphs. This will create a smoother flow and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Overall, while the essay effectively presents arguments supporting the importance of learning languages despite the availability of translation software, improvements in the logical organization, paragraph structure, and use of varied cohesive devices can elevate the coherence and cohesion of the essay to achieve a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There’s an attempt to incorporate varied vocabulary, but it lacks consistency in deploying a wide spectrum of terms. For instance, phrases like "high-modern technology," "prevalence of some translating programs," and "deeper insight into new cultures" showcase an attempt to diversify vocabulary. However, these instances are sporadic, and there’s a need for more sophisticated and precise terminology to enhance lexical richness.
- How to improve: To broaden the vocabulary range, consider using idiomatic expressions, synonyms, and more nuanced vocabulary related to the essay’s subject. For instance, instead of repeatedly using common phrases like "translation software," opt for alternatives like "language translation applications" or "linguistic translation tools." Additionally, incorporating domain-specific terms related to language acquisition and technology can elevate the vocabulary diversity.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay showcases a mix of precise and imprecise vocabulary usage. Instances such as "deeper insight into new cultures" and "vital connection with the cultural identity" demonstrate relatively precise vocabulary, while phrases like "high-modern technology" lack specificity and precision.
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that precisely conveys the intended meaning without being vague. Replace generic phrases like "high-modern technology" with more specific terms such as "cutting-edge technology" or "advanced language translation software." Ensure that each word used contributes significantly to the context and avoids generalizations or ambiguity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a reasonable level of spelling accuracy with only a few minor errors. Instances like "applicants" instead of "applications" and "Chinese" capitalized inconsistently detract slightly from overall spelling accuracy.
- How to improve: Review and revise the essay for minor spelling inconsistencies. Utilize spell-check tools to rectify errors and consider a thorough proofreading process to ensure consistency and accuracy in spelling throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to capitalization rules for proper nouns such as "Chinese" to maintain uniformity.
Improving lexical resource band score in an IELTS essay involves consistent and strategic use of diverse vocabulary, precision in word choice, and meticulous attention to spelling accuracy. Consider these suggestions while refining the essay to elevate the overall lexical richness and accuracy.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a decent variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures further to enhance the overall richness and sophistication of expression. For instance, more use of complex sentences and varied sentence beginnings could be incorporated to create a more engaging and nuanced narrative.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating relative clauses, conditional sentences, or inverted sentence structures. This can elevate the complexity of your sentences and contribute to a more sophisticated writing style.
Use Grammar Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally accurate use of grammar, but there are occasional lapses. For instance, the phrase "high-modern technology" could be refined to "advanced modern technology," and there are instances of awkward sentence constructions that slightly impede clarity. Additionally, there is a tense inconsistency in the phrase "it is believed that high-modern technology has provided," where the past tense "believed" does not align with the present perfect tense "has provided."
- How to improve: Carefully proofread the essay to identify and correct tense inconsistencies and awkward phrasing. Consider using simpler sentence structures when unsure to avoid potential grammatical pitfalls.
Use Correct Punctuation:
- Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally well-used; however, there are instances where commas could be utilized more effectively for clarity. For example, in the sentence "From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with this opinion for some reasons below," a comma after "perspective" could enhance readability. Additionally, there are a few instances where commas are missing before coordinating conjunctions in compound sentences.
- How to improve: Focus on the use of commas, ensuring they are placed appropriately to signal pauses and separate elements in a sentence. Pay special attention to compound sentences and insert commas before conjunctions like "and," "but," and "or" to improve overall punctuation accuracy.
Bài sửa mẫu
In the contemporary era, it is widely acknowledged that advanced technology has brought about significant changes in language translation. While translation applications offer convenience for individuals wishing to travel abroad, I firmly agree that learning foreign languages remains crucial in human life. I hold this viewpoint for several reasons.
Firstly, there is no denying that translation software enables individuals to understand various languages more easily. In the past, before the advent of translation applications, individuals aspiring to go abroad had to invest significant time in learning a new language for communication. Mastery of a single language might have taken months or even years. The emergence of translating programs like Google Translate has marked a significant change in communication, allowing people to travel to foreign countries without the need to invest extensive time in language learning.
Nevertheless, language learning remains essential as it facilitates a deeper understanding of new cultures and enhances language proficiency. A language is more than just a tool for communication; it establishes a vital connection with the cultural identity of its speakers. For instance, in the process of learning Chinese, individuals gradually gain insights into Chinese culture through their lessons. This understanding enables learners to discern appropriate manners in Chinese culture, avoiding potential offenses in communication with native speakers. Additionally, reliance on translation software can be inconvenient, as it interrupts conversations consistently. Proficiency in a language enables individuals to respond promptly and engage in more fluent conversations with foreigners.
In conclusion, despite the advancements in translation technology, I firmly believe that learning foreign languages brings about significant benefits in terms of understanding new cultures and enhancing communication flexibility.