Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

Bringing up children requires a variety of factors and skills. Therefore, some argue that it should be mandatory for parents to take part in parenthood training classes to prepare them well for being parents. While some lean toward this view, I am of the opinion that parents should have the right to choose whether to join parenting courses or not.
There are two primary reasons why parenting training coaches should be joined by parents. Better parental skills equipment is one of the reasons for parents to sign up for these courses. More precisely, parenting seminars provide people, especially youngsters with adequate training on how to deal with unexpected situations happening with their babies such as getting a fever or being wounded. In this case, parents can equip themselves with qualified knowledge to take good care of their kids. Preparing to be good role models for their children is another factor encouraging parents to participate in parenting coaching. As an illustration, parents can learn to communicate with their children patiently and gently. Thus, setting a good example for their offspring to follow.
While the advantages of parenthood preparation courses, there are several notable demerits worth considering. Granted, these courses furnish parents with experienced theory, but their application is restricted. In other words, parents have to depend on the children's characteristics, genders, and preferences to have tailored treatment and behaviours. Furthermore, the parenthood classes are costly and time-consuming. To be more detailed, due to their hectic schedule, parents may not have sufficient time to attend these courses. As a consequence, they waste their money which could be spent on supplying other children’s requirements such as toys and education preparation.
In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that parenting courses bring certain benefits to the childcare process including adequate training and better preparation. However, their drawbacks such as the impractical application and efficiency are notable. Hence, I agree that attending parenthood training courses should remain the parents’ choice.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Bringing up children requires a variety of factors and skills." -> "Raising children necessitates a range of factors and skills."
Explanation: "Raising" is a more formal synonym for "bringing up," and "necessitates" is more precise than "requires" in an academic context, emphasizing the necessity of these factors and skills.
"parents to take part in parenthood training classes" -> "parents to participate in parenthood training programs"
Explanation: "Participate" is more formal than "take part," and "programs" is a more specific term than "classes," which aligns better with the context of structured educational activities.
"lean toward this view" -> "support this perspective"
Explanation: "Support" is a more formal and precise term than "lean toward," which is somewhat colloquial and vague.
"parents should have the right to choose" -> "parents should have the autonomy to decide"
Explanation: "Autonomy" is a more formal and precise term than "right," and "decide" is more specific than "choose," enhancing the academic tone.
"parenting training coaches" -> "parenting training programs"
Explanation: "Programs" is a more formal and accurate term than "coaches," which is not typically used in this context.
"Better parental skills equipment" -> "Enhanced parental skills"
Explanation: "Enhanced" is a more precise and formal term than "better," and "skills" is the correct noun form without the awkward and incorrect "equipment."
"More precisely" -> "Specifically"
Explanation: "Specifically" is more direct and formal than "more precisely," which is redundant in this context.
"getting a fever or being wounded" -> "contracting illnesses or sustaining injuries"
Explanation: "Contracting illnesses" and "sustaining injuries" are more precise and formal terms than "getting a fever" and "being wounded," which are somewhat informal and vague.
"equipped themselves with qualified knowledge" -> "acquire qualified knowledge"
Explanation: "Acquire" is more formal and precise than "equip themselves with," which is somewhat awkward and less commonly used in academic writing.
"Preparing to be good role models for their children" -> "Preparing to serve as positive role models for their children"
Explanation: "Serve as positive role models" is a more formal and precise phrase than "be good role models," which is somewhat colloquial.
"Granted, these courses furnish parents with experienced theory" -> "Admittedly, these courses provide parents with theoretical knowledge"
Explanation: "Admittedly" is a more formal transition than "Granted," and "theoretical knowledge" is a more precise term than "experienced theory," which is unclear and awkward.
"have to depend on the children’s characteristics, genders, and preferences" -> "must consider the children’s individual characteristics, gender, and preferences"
Explanation: "Must consider" is more formal than "have to depend on," and "individual characteristics" and "gender" are more precise and appropriate terms than "characteristics, genders."
"the parenthood classes are costly and time-consuming" -> "these courses are costly and time-consuming"
Explanation: "These courses" is more direct and formal than "the parenthood classes," which is less precise and slightly awkward.
"due to their hectic schedule" -> "owing to their busy schedules"
Explanation: "Owing to" is a more formal expression than "due to," and "busy schedules" is a more standard phrase than "hectic schedule."
"waste their money which could be spent on supplying other children’s requirements" -> "squander their funds that could be allocated to other children’s needs"
Explanation: "Squander" and "allocated" are more formal and precise than "waste" and "spent," and "needs" is a more formal term than "requirements."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of mandatory parenting courses, which aligns with the requirement to agree or disagree with the statement. The author presents a clear disagreement with the idea of making these courses mandatory, stating that parents should have the choice. However, the essay could benefit from a more explicit acknowledgment of the importance of childcare in society, which would strengthen the argument against mandatory training.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly reference the societal importance of childcare in the introduction and conclusion. This could involve briefly discussing the potential impact of well-trained parents on society, thus providing a stronger context for their argument against mandatory courses.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The position is generally clear, with the writer consistently arguing that parents should have the choice regarding training courses. However, the introduction could be more assertive in stating this position, as it currently presents a somewhat neutral tone before clearly stating the disagreement. The conclusion reiterates this stance but could be more emphatic.
- How to improve: The writer should ensure that the introduction clearly states their position from the outset. Using phrases like "I firmly believe" or "It is crucial to recognize" can help establish a stronger viewpoint. Additionally, reinforcing this position in each paragraph will help maintain clarity throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the benefits and drawbacks of parenting courses. The points about acquiring skills and setting a good example are relevant and well-supported with examples. However, the discussion of drawbacks could be more developed. The argument about the impracticality of the courses is mentioned but lacks specific examples or evidence to illustrate how these courses fail in real-life scenarios.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should provide more detailed examples or statistics regarding the effectiveness of parenting courses. Additionally, discussing real-life implications or anecdotes could make the argument more relatable and convincing.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the debate about mandatory parenting courses. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For instance, while discussing the benefits of parenting courses, the writer could better connect these benefits to the argument against making them compulsory.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly relates back to the central argument of choice versus obligation. This could involve explicitly linking the benefits of the courses to the idea that parents should still have the autonomy to decide whether to take them, rather than suggesting that the benefits alone justify mandatory participation.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their essay and potentially achieve a higher band score in the Task Response criterion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, stating the writer’s opinion. The body paragraphs are organized to first present the advantages of parenting courses, followed by the disadvantages. However, the transition between points could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the benefits to the drawbacks could be more explicitly marked to guide the reader through the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer transition phrases when moving between contrasting ideas. For example, instead of "While the advantages of parenthood preparation courses, there are several notable demerits worth considering," a more cohesive transition could be "Despite the advantages of parenthood preparation courses, it is important to also consider their notable demerits."
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The first body paragraph discusses the benefits, while the second addresses the drawbacks. However, the first paragraph could be further strengthened by clearly stating the main idea at the beginning, which would help readers understand the focus of the paragraph immediately.
- How to improve: Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, in the first body paragraph, a stronger opening could be, "One significant advantage of parenting training courses is that they equip parents with essential skills for handling emergencies." This would provide immediate clarity and focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "therefore," "more precisely," and "as a consequence," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and some sentences could benefit from additional linking words or phrases to improve the overall cohesion. For instance, the phrase "In this case" could be replaced with "For instance" or "As an example" to provide a clearer connection to the previous statement.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, use "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "In addition" to introduce additional points, and "Conversely," "On the other hand," or "However" to present contrasting ideas. This will create a more fluid reading experience and enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced argument. By focusing on enhancing transitions, strengthening paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion in their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of parenting and childcare. Terms such as "parenthood training classes," "parental skills," "unexpected situations," and "qualified knowledge" are effectively used to convey the main ideas. However, the vocabulary could be more varied; for example, the repeated use of "parenting" and "parents" could be replaced with synonyms or paraphrases to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "parents," you could use "guardians," "caregivers," or "caretakers." Additionally, incorporating more advanced vocabulary, such as "nurturing" instead of "bringing up," could elevate the essay’s lexical quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "parenting training coaches" is somewhat awkward and could be more clearly expressed as "parenting courses" or "parenting workshops." Additionally, the term "furnish" in "these courses furnish parents with experienced theory" is slightly off; a more common term like "provide" would be clearer.
- How to improve: Focus on ensuring that vocabulary choices are not only correct but also contextually appropriate. Reviewing phrases for clarity and naturalness can help. For instance, replace "furnish" with "provide" for better precision. Regularly reading high-quality texts on similar topics can also help in understanding the nuances of word usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a strong command of spelling, with no significant errors present. Words such as "mandatory," "characteristics," and "efficiency" are spelled correctly, contributing to the overall clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To maintain and further improve spelling accuracy, continue practicing with spelling exercises, and consider using tools like spell checkers or writing apps that highlight spelling errors. Additionally, reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of range and precision. By incorporating a wider variety of terms and ensuring that word choices are contextually appropriate, the lexical resource could be enhanced further. Maintaining spelling accuracy will also support the overall quality of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and a mix of simple and compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "While some lean toward this view, I am of the opinion that…" showcases an ability to construct nuanced arguments. However, there are areas where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the sentence "Better parental skills equipment is one of the reasons for parents to sign up for these courses" could be rephrased for clarity and engagement, as it feels somewhat awkward and lacks fluidity.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more conditional sentences (e.g., "If parents attend these courses, they may find…") and use participial phrases to create more complex ideas (e.g., "Equipped with better skills, parents can…"). Additionally, varying the placement of clauses within sentences can add interest and complexity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with most sentences correctly structured. However, there are a few grammatical errors that detract from the overall quality. For example, the phrase "parenting training coaches should be joined by parents" is awkward and could be better expressed as "parents should participate in parenting training courses." Additionally, the sentence "While the advantages of parenthood preparation courses, there are several notable demerits worth considering" is missing a main clause and should be revised to "While there are advantages to parenthood preparation courses, there are several notable demerits worth considering." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "such as" in lists.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on ensuring that all sentences are complete and clearly express their intended meaning. Regular practice with sentence structure and grammar exercises can help identify common errors. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation, especially in complex sentences, can help ensure clarity and correctness.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid grasp of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Bringing up children necessitates a range of factors and skills. Therefore, some argue that it should be mandatory for parents to participate in parenting training programs to adequately prepare them for their roles. While some lean toward this view, I am of the opinion that parents should have the autonomy to decide whether to join these courses or not.

There are two primary reasons why parents should consider enrolling in parenting training programs. Enhanced parental skills is one of the reasons for parents to sign up for these courses. Specifically, parenting seminars provide individuals, particularly young parents, with essential training on how to handle unexpected situations that may arise with their children, such as contracting illnesses or sustaining injuries. In this context, parents can acquire qualified knowledge to take good care of their kids. Preparing to serve as positive role models for their children is another factor encouraging parents to participate in parenting coaching. For instance, parents can learn to communicate with their children patiently and gently, thus setting a good example for their offspring to follow.

While the advantages of parenting preparation courses are evident, there are several notable drawbacks worth considering. Admittedly, these courses provide parents with theoretical knowledge; however, their application can be limited. In other words, parents must consider the children’s individual characteristics, gender, and preferences to tailor their approaches and behaviors effectively. Furthermore, parenting classes can be costly and time-consuming. Owing to their busy schedules, parents may not have sufficient time to attend these courses. As a consequence, they may squander their funds that could be allocated to other children’s needs, such as toys and educational resources.

In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that parenting courses offer certain benefits to the childcare process, including adequate training and better preparation. However, their drawbacks, such as limited practical application and efficiency, are significant. Hence, I agree that attending parenting training programs should remain a choice for parents.