fbpx

Children should always follow their parents’ advice. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Children should always follow their parents' advice.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people think that children ought always to follow their parents’ advices. I agree with this statement, but in some cases, they are not entirely true.
The first reason why I agree is that parents know their children’s interested. They have a deeper understanding of their kids’ strengths and weaknesses. So that parents can provide appropriate advices for their children to help them make the right decisions. The next reason is that children lack the life issues. Therefore, their parents can teach them about life skills and experiences because they have more life experiences. Finally, every parents want to have the best intentions for their kids. Mothers and fathers always want their children to have happy, healthy, and safe growing up environments. So that their advices could protect children from unsafe and hazardous things.
On the other hand, in some cases, parents’advices are not completely true for their children. Firstly, they may always not be suitable for their child’s goals and interests. For instance, children might not understand meticulously about their parents’ advices because their ability to absorb is limited. Therefore, they may not gain their purposes. Secondly, kids need to develop their own decision- making skills. When they make their own decisions, they can become more independent and confident, and they also can improve their problem-solving skills. In contrast, when children always listen to their parents’advices, they cannot have the above things.
In conclusion, I concur with this viewpoint. However, in certain instances, it is not totally accurate. Therefore, children should listen to their parents’ advices, since parents often have experiences and knowledge to guide their children. Nevertheless, children also need to learn to think for themselves and develop their own opinions.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Some people think that children ought always to follow their parents’ advices." -> "Some individuals believe that children should always adhere to their parents’ advice."
    Explanation: Replacing "Some people think" with "Some individuals believe" and "ought always to follow" with "should always adhere to" refines the tone to a more formal academic style. "Advice" should be singular when referring to a general principle, and "adhere to" is more precise than "follow" in this context.

  2. "I agree with this statement, but in some cases, they are not entirely true." -> "I concur with this assertion, yet it is not entirely accurate in all instances."
    Explanation: "Concur" is more formal than "agree," and "assertion" is more precise than "statement." The phrase "yet it is not entirely accurate in all instances" clarifies the conditional nature of the agreement.

  3. "parents know their children’s interested." -> "parents are aware of their children’s interests."
    Explanation: "Are aware of" is more formal and accurate than "know," and "interests" should be plural to match the plural subject "children."

  4. "So that parents can provide appropriate advices for their children to help them make the right decisions." -> "Thus, parents can offer suitable advice to their children, enabling them to make informed decisions."
    Explanation: "Thus" is more formal than "So that," and "offer suitable advice" is more precise than "provide appropriate advices." "Enabling them to make informed decisions" is more formal and specific than "help them make the right decisions."

  5. "children lack the life issues." -> "children lack experience with life issues."
    Explanation: "Lack experience with" is a clearer and more formal way to express the idea that children are inexperienced in dealing with life issues.

  6. "every parents want" -> "every parent wants"
    Explanation: "Every parent" should be singular to agree with "wants," and "wants" should be singular to match the singular subject "parent."

  7. "Mothers and fathers always want their children to have happy, healthy, and safe growing up environments." -> "Mothers and fathers consistently strive to provide their children with happy, healthy, and safe environments for growth."
    Explanation: "Consistently strive to provide" is more formal and precise than "always want," and "environments for growth" is a more formal and specific phrase than "growing up environments."

  8. "So that their advices could protect children from unsafe and hazardous things." -> "Thus, their advice can safeguard children from unsafe and hazardous situations."
    Explanation: "Thus" is more formal than "So that," and "safeguard" is more precise than "protect." "Situations" is a more formal term than "things."

  9. "parents’advices" -> "parents’ advice"
    Explanation: "Advice" should be singular when referring to a general principle, and the apostrophe should be after the "s" for possessive form.

  10. "kids need to develop their own decision- making skills." -> "children need to develop their own decision-making skills."
    Explanation: "Children" is more formal than "kids," and "decision-making" should be hyphenated for grammatical correctness.

  11. "they also can improve their problem-solving skills." -> "they also enhance their problem-solving skills."
    Explanation: "Enhance" is a more formal synonym for "improve," fitting better in an academic context.

  12. "children always listen to their parents’advices" -> "children consistently adhere to their parents’ advice"
    Explanation: "Consistently adhere to" is more formal and precise than "always listen to," and "advice" should be singular.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a balanced view on whether children should always follow their parents’ advice. The writer agrees with the statement but also acknowledges exceptions. The first half of the essay effectively outlines reasons for following parental advice, such as parents’ understanding of their children’s strengths and the life experiences they possess. However, the second half introduces counterarguments, but the explanation could be clearer and more directly related to the prompt.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each point made directly ties back to the question. For instance, explicitly stating how the exceptions to following advice relate to the overall argument would strengthen the essay. Additionally, providing more concrete examples or scenarios could further clarify the points made.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The position is generally clear, as the writer agrees with the statement while recognizing that it is not universally applicable. However, the phrase "in some cases, they are not entirely true" is vague and could confuse readers about the writer’s stance. The conclusion reiterates the agreement but does not fully encapsulate the nuanced position presented in the body paragraphs.
    • How to improve: The writer should strive for more clarity in articulating their position. Using phrases like "I believe that…" or "It is my view that…" can help establish a more definitive stance. Additionally, summarizing the main points in the conclusion while clearly restating the position would reinforce the essay’s coherence.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as parents’ understanding of their children and the importance of independence. However, some points lack depth and sufficient support. For example, the claim that "children lack the life issues" is vague and could be elaborated with specific examples or scenarios. The arguments about independence and decision-making are relevant but could benefit from more detailed explanations.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should provide specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate the points being made. For instance, discussing a real-life situation where parental advice was beneficial or detrimental could enhance the argument. Additionally, expanding on the implications of children developing their own decision-making skills would provide a more comprehensive view.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the role of parental advice in children’s lives. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly when discussing the limitations of parental advice. The phrase "they may always not be suitable for their child’s goals and interests" is somewhat unclear and could lead the reader to question the relevance of the point.
    • How to improve: The writer should ensure that every point made directly relates to the central question. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help maintain focus. Additionally, avoiding vague language and ensuring that all arguments are directly tied to the prompt will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a balanced view, improvements in clarity, depth of argumentation, and direct relevance to the prompt would elevate the score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of following parents’ advice while acknowledging exceptions. The introduction effectively states the writer’s position, and the body paragraphs are structured to support this stance. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the benefits of parental guidance, citing parents’ understanding of their children’s strengths and weaknesses. However, the transition between the points could be smoother, as the shift from discussing parental advice to the limitations of that advice feels abrupt.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that connect ideas more seamlessly. For instance, after discussing the benefits of parental advice, a phrase like "However, it is important to consider that…" could better prepare the reader for the contrasting viewpoint. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea would strengthen the overall organization.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with distinct sections for the argument in favor of parental advice and the counterargument. Each paragraph contains relevant points; however, some paragraphs could benefit from clearer internal structure. For instance, the first body paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be more effectively separated into distinct sentences or even sub-points.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details. For example, the first paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on parents’ understanding of their children and the other on the importance of parental intentions. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "therefore" and "on the other hand," to connect ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "So that parents can provide appropriate advices" lacks a direct link to the previous sentence, making the flow feel disjointed.
    • How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely" to introduce new ideas or counterarguments. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device clearly relates to the preceding content. For example, instead of "So that," a more appropriate phrase could be "This means that," which would clarify the relationship between the ideas.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "understanding," "strengths," "weaknesses," and "independent." However, there are instances of repetition, particularly with the word "advices," which is used multiple times. Additionally, phrases like "life issues" and "life skills" could be more varied to enhance the lexical diversity.
    • How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "advices," the writer could use "guidance," "counsel," or "recommendations." Additionally, expanding phrases like "life skills" to "essential life skills" or "practical life skills" would add depth.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary usage, particularly with the term "advices," which is grammatically incorrect as "advice" is an uncountable noun. The phrase "life issues" is vague and could be interpreted in multiple ways, which detracts from clarity. The phrase "they are not entirely true" is also ambiguous and could be better articulated.
    • How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. For example, replacing "advices" with "advice" would correct the grammatical error. Additionally, clarifying what is meant by "life issues" could enhance precision; for instance, specifying "life challenges" or "real-world challenges" would provide clearer context.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "advices" (should be "advice"), "every parents" (should be "every parent"), and "meticulously" (which is used incorrectly in context). These errors can distract the reader and detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully or use spelling and grammar checking tools. Practicing spelling common academic vocabulary and familiarizing themselves with commonly confused words (like "advice" vs. "advices") would also be beneficial. Additionally, reading more academic texts can help reinforce correct spelling and usage.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there are clear areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By addressing these issues, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple sentences ("Some people think that children ought always to follow their parents’ advices.") and compound sentences ("Mothers and fathers always want their children to have happy, healthy, and safe growing up environments."). However, the range is limited, and many sentences follow a similar structure, which can make the writing feel repetitive. For example, phrases like "The first reason why I agree is that…" and "The next reason is that…" are formulaic and do not showcase a diverse range of complex structures.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "Therefore, their parents can teach them about life skills and experiences because they have more life experiences," you could restructure it to: "Because parents have more life experiences, they can teach their children valuable life skills." Additionally, using a mix of interrogative and exclamatory sentences could add interest and variety.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, "advices" should be "advice," as "advice" is an uncountable noun. The phrase "they are not entirely true" is vague and could be clearer if rephrased. There are also punctuation errors, such as the lack of a space before "advices" in "parents’advices," and the misuse of commas, which can disrupt the flow of the writing. Additionally, phrases like "kids need to develop their own decision-making skills" could be improved with clearer punctuation.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on the correct use of nouns (e.g., using "advice" instead of "advices") and ensure that subject-verb agreement is maintained throughout the essay. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing common errors can help. For punctuation, pay attention to the placement of commas and apostrophes, and consider reading the essay aloud to catch any awkward phrasing or punctuation mistakes. Using grammar-checking tools can also provide immediate feedback on errors.

By addressing these areas, you can enhance the overall quality of your writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some individuals believe that children should always adhere to their parents’ advice. I concur with this assertion, yet it is not entirely accurate in all instances.

The first reason why I agree is that parents are aware of their children’s interests. They possess a deeper understanding of their kids’ strengths and weaknesses. Thus, parents can offer suitable advice to their children, enabling them to make informed decisions. The next reason is that children lack experience with life issues. Therefore, their parents can teach them essential life skills and share valuable experiences because they have more life experience. Finally, every parent wants the best for their children. Mothers and fathers consistently strive to provide their children with happy, healthy, and safe environments for growth. Thus, their advice can safeguard children from unsafe and hazardous situations.

On the other hand, in some cases, parents’ advice may not be entirely suitable for their children. Firstly, it may not always align with their child’s goals and interests. For instance, children might not fully comprehend their parents’ advice because their ability to absorb complex information is limited. Consequently, they may not achieve their intended purposes. Secondly, children need to develop their own decision-making skills. When they make their own choices, they can become more independent and confident, and they also enhance their problem-solving skills. In contrast, if children consistently adhere to their parents’ advice, they may miss out on these important developmental opportunities.

In conclusion, I concur with this viewpoint. However, in certain instances, it is not entirely accurate. Therefore, children should listen to their parents’ advice, as parents often possess the experience and knowledge to guide their children. Nevertheless, children also need to learn to think for themselves and develop their own opinions.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT

Lưu ý

Sắp bảo trì server

Để đảm bảo tính ổn định của web, web sẽ thực hiện backup dữ liệu hàng ngày từ 3h-3h30 sáng

Rất mong quý thầy cô và học viên thông cảm vì bất tiện này