city life is better than life in the countryside. Do you agree?

Many people fancy living in a countryside because it makes them feel comfortable with painful days without rushing. However I have lived in the city since I was a child so I prefer to live in the city rather than in the countryside. living in the city has lots of benefits.
Firsty, i like the lively atmosphere, which is not found in the countryside. There are many large entertainment areas and shopping centers.
Therefore, I can have fun with my family after studying hard. City life often offers various opportunities, such as better job prospects, convenient, assess to amenities, cultural events and social science.
Cities tend to have more diverse communities, educational institutions anal career options
Finally, There are lots of concerts in the city. I want to watch live performances rather than watch them on TV. It also attracts a lot of visitors and helps the country economy develop.
In conclusion, people in the city have more fun and experience than countryside people. Therefore, I love living in the city.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Many people fancy living in a countryside" -> "Many individuals prefer residing in rural areas"
Explanation: "Fancy" is too informal and vague for academic writing. "Residing" is more formal and precise, and "rural areas" is a more appropriate term than "countryside" in formal contexts.
"makes them feel comfortable with painful days without rushing" -> "allows them to feel comfortable despite the challenges of daily life without the need for haste"
Explanation: "Painful days" is an unclear and informal expression. "Challenges of daily life" is more specific and formal, and "without the need for haste" replaces the colloquial "without rushing."
"I have lived in the city since I was a child" -> "I have resided in the city since childhood"
Explanation: "Resided" is more formal than "lived," and "childhood" is a more formal way to refer to one’s early years.
"Firsty" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: "Firsty" is a typographical error; "Firstly" is the correct adverbial form.
"i like the lively atmosphere" -> "I prefer the vibrant atmosphere"
Explanation: "I" should be capitalized, and "vibrant" is a more precise and formal adjective than "lively" in this context.
"which is not found in the countryside" -> "which is not typically found in rural areas"
Explanation: "Typically" is more precise than "not found," and "rural areas" is a more formal term than "countryside."
"There are many large entertainment areas and shopping centers." -> "There are numerous large entertainment districts and shopping centers."
Explanation: "Numerous" is more precise than "many," and "districts" is a more formal term than "areas."
"I can have fun with my family after studying hard" -> "I can engage in leisure activities with my family after a rigorous academic schedule"
Explanation: "Engage in leisure activities" is more formal than "have fun," and "a rigorous academic schedule" is a more precise description than "studying hard."
"convenient, assess to amenities" -> "convenient access to amenities"
Explanation: "Assess" is a typographical error; "access" is the correct word.
"social science" -> "social sciences"
Explanation: "Social sciences" is the correct plural form, as it refers to a broader field of study.
"There are lots of concerts in the city" -> "There are numerous concerts in the city"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more formal and precise than "lots."
"I want to watch live performances rather than watch them on TV" -> "I prefer attending live performances over watching them on television"
Explanation: "Attending" is more formal than "watch," and "over" is more precise than "rather than" in this context.
"It also attracts a lot of visitors and helps the country economy develop" -> "It also attracts numerous visitors and contributes to the country’s economic development"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more formal, and "contributes to the country’s economic development" is a more precise and formal way to express the impact on the economy.
"people in the city have more fun and experience than countryside people" -> "urban residents experience a greater variety of activities and opportunities compared to those in rural areas"
Explanation: "Urban residents" is more formal than "people in the city," and "experience a greater variety of activities and opportunities" is more precise and formal than "have more fun and experience."
"Therefore, I love living in the city" -> "Therefore, I prefer residing in the city"
Explanation: "Love" is too informal and emotional for academic writing; "prefer" is more appropriate and formal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by expressing a preference for city life over countryside living. However, it does not fully explore the reasons behind this preference or consider the opposing viewpoint. The argument is somewhat one-sided, with limited acknowledgment of the benefits of countryside living. For example, while the essay mentions entertainment and job opportunities in the city, it fails to discuss any potential downsides of city life or advantages of the countryside, such as tranquility or natural beauty.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to address both sides of the argument more thoroughly. This could involve acknowledging the merits of countryside living while reinforcing why the city is preferred. A balanced approach would demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position favoring city life, but the consistency of this stance is undermined by vague language and grammatical errors. Phrases like "I have lived in the city since I was a child so I prefer to live in the city" could be more assertively articulated. Moreover, the conclusion reiterates the preference but does not reinforce the arguments made, leading to a lack of cohesion.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use stronger, more definitive language throughout the essay. Additionally, reinforcing the main arguments in the conclusion with a summary of key points would help solidify the position taken.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the benefits of city life, such as entertainment, job opportunities, and cultural events. However, these ideas are not sufficiently developed or supported with specific examples. For instance, mentioning particular job sectors or types of entertainment would strengthen the argument. The use of phrases like "there are many large entertainment areas" lacks specificity and depth.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific examples and details. This could involve discussing particular events, types of jobs, or personal experiences that illustrate the advantages of city life. Additionally, using linking words and phrases can help to extend and connect ideas more effectively.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the comparison between city and countryside living. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the sentence "It also attracts a lot of visitors and helps the country economy develop," which introduces a slightly off-topic idea about tourism without clear relevance to the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly supports the central argument regarding city life versus countryside living. Avoiding tangential ideas and ensuring that all statements contribute to the overall argument will help keep the essay on topic.

In summary, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should aim for a more balanced exploration of the topic, use clearer and more assertive language, provide specific examples to support ideas, and maintain a tight focus on the central argument throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear preference for city life over countryside living, which is established early on. The main points are organized in a logical sequence, beginning with the lively atmosphere and moving through opportunities and entertainment options. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the atmosphere to job prospects feels abrupt and could benefit from a clearer linking statement.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas. For instance, after discussing the lively atmosphere, a sentence like “In addition to this vibrant environment, city life also presents numerous opportunities…” would create a smoother transition to the next point.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which affects its readability and overall coherence. Each new idea is presented in a single block of text rather than in distinct paragraphs. This can confuse readers and makes it difficult to follow the argument.
- How to improve: Implementing clear paragraph breaks is essential. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. For example, the first paragraph could introduce the topic and state the preference for city life, the second could discuss the lively atmosphere, the third could address job opportunities, and the fourth could cover entertainment options. This structure will help readers better understand the progression of ideas.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as “therefore” and “finally,” which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing (e.g., “assess to amenities” should be “access to amenities”). Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is not always effective; for example, the phrase “cities tend to have” could be better linked to the previous sentence for clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as “furthermore,” “in addition,” “on the other hand,” and “for instance.” This will not only enhance the flow of the essay but also make the argument more compelling. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing will improve clarity and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a clear preference and presents relevant points, improvements in organization, paragraphing, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. Words like "lively atmosphere," "entertainment areas," and "job prospects" effectively convey the writer’s points. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks variation. For instance, the phrase "living in the city" is used multiple times without synonyms or paraphrasing, which could enhance the lexical diversity of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "living in the city," alternatives like "urban life" or "city dwelling" could be used. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs could enrich the vocabulary further, such as "vibrant" instead of "lively."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While there are instances of appropriate vocabulary use, there are also examples of imprecise language that can lead to confusion. For instance, the phrase "convenient, assess to amenities" seems to contain a typographical error ("assess" should be "access"). Additionally, the term "social science" appears out of context and does not clearly relate to the preceding ideas about city life.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should carefully proofread their work for typographical errors and ensure that all terms are used in the correct context. It would be beneficial to replace vague terms with more specific ones. For example, instead of "social science," the writer could refer to "community engagement" or "social activities" to better align with the discussion about city life.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from its overall quality. For example, "Firsty" should be "Firstly," "i" should be capitalized as "I," and "anal" should be "and." These errors can disrupt the reader’s understanding and reflect poorly on the writer’s attention to detail.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, practicing spelling commonly used words and phrases in academic writing can help reinforce correct spelling. Keeping a list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them regularly may also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a basic command of vocabulary, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking complex structures that could enhance the writing. For example, phrases like "I prefer to live in the city rather than in the countryside" and "There are many large entertainment areas and shopping centers" are straightforward but do not showcase variety. The use of transitional phrases like "Firsty" (which should be "Firstly") and "Therefore" indicates an attempt to organize thoughts, but the overall structure remains basic.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that combine independent and dependent clauses. For instance, instead of saying "I want to watch live performances rather than watch them on TV," the writer could say, "While I enjoy watching performances on TV, I prefer the experience of attending live concerts." This not only adds complexity but also enhances the flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "Firsty" is a misspelling of "Firstly," and "assess" should be "access." Additionally, there are instances of incorrect capitalization, such as "i" instead of "I" and "There" at the beginning of a sentence that follows a comma. The phrase "helps the country economy develop" should be "helps the country’s economy develop," indicating a possessive form that is missing. These errors contribute to a lack of professionalism in the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work for common errors, particularly with spelling and punctuation. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can help identify mistakes. Additionally, practicing sentence construction and reviewing the rules of punctuation can improve overall writing quality. For example, ensuring that each sentence begins with a capital letter and that possessive forms are correctly used will significantly enhance clarity and professionalism.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear opinion, improving the range of grammatical structures and ensuring accuracy in grammar and punctuation will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many people fancy living in the countryside because it makes them feel comfortable during painful days without rushing. However, I have lived in the city since I was a child, so I prefer to live in the city rather than in the countryside. Living in the city has lots of benefits.

Firstly, I like the lively atmosphere, which is not typically found in the countryside. There are many large entertainment districts and shopping centers. Therefore, I can engage in leisure activities with my family after studying hard. City life often offers various opportunities, such as better job prospects, convenient access to amenities, cultural events, and social sciences.

Cities tend to have more diverse communities, educational institutions, and career options. Finally, there are numerous concerts in the city. I prefer attending live performances rather than watching them on TV. It also attracts numerous visitors and contributes to the country’s economic development.

In conclusion, urban residents experience a greater variety of activities and opportunities compared to those in rural areas. Therefore, I love living in the city.