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Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences. You should write at least 250 words.

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.
You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, computers are using more in education and I think firmly believe that is a convenient way for people to educate easier.

First of all, using computers for learning purpose helps students get the lesson better. For example, when students use computer to study, they can easy searching for information and notice them. Besides, they can have opportunity learn through images, audio which traditional education can not. The next positive thing about this computer is student can studying online with foreigners. There are many app online app apply this method for study. People around the world now can able to connect and share knowledge for each other. It is means computer has removed the border between country and country countries. For me, this knowledge becomes as. For example, twice a week. My friends, who is studying, after university she. Learn English with foreigners by Duolingo app and her skills English still was better after learn by that way. More over, computer helps students lean learning without go to school or education center. For example, after school, student can send emails, messages to their teacher to ask about homework information about what they still need to know about lessons.

On the in fact, computer also bring some negative effects. First, students who use computers excessively can cause problems related to their eyes. Like red eyes, headache or even the bone when they sit in front of computer a long time. Second, student can be distracted by game, social media like facebook, instagram, twitter. This causing performance of a student on class decline.

To conclude, using computer in education have both negative and positive ways but in my opinion, computer will bring more and more good conveniente in education.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Nowadays, computers are using more in education and I think firmly believe that is a convenient way for people to educate easier." -> "Currently, computers are increasingly being used in education, and I firmly believe that this is a convenient method for people to learn more effectively."
    Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkwardly phrased. The revised version corrects the grammatical errors and uses more formal language suitable for academic writing.

  2. "using computers for learning purpose helps students get the lesson better" -> "using computers for educational purposes helps students learn more effectively"
    Explanation: "Learning purpose" is an awkward and incorrect phrase. "Educational purposes" is the correct term, and "learn more effectively" is a more precise and formal way to express the improvement in learning.

  3. "they can easy searching for information and notice them" -> "they can easily search for information and access it"
    Explanation: "easy searching" is grammatically incorrect and informal. "Easily search for" is grammatically correct, and "access it" is a more precise term than "notice them."

  4. "The next positive thing about this computer is student can studying online with foreigners." -> "Another advantage of this approach is that students can study online with foreigners."
    Explanation: "The next positive thing about this computer" is informal and vague. "Another advantage of this approach" is more precise and formal. Also, "student can studying" is grammatically incorrect; "students can study" is the correct form.

  5. "There are many app online app apply this method for study." -> "There are numerous online apps that apply this method for studying."
    Explanation: "app online app" is redundant and grammatically incorrect. "Numerous online apps" is more precise and grammatically correct.

  6. "People around the world now can able to connect and share knowledge for each other." -> "People around the world can now connect and share knowledge with each other."
    Explanation: "can able to" is grammatically incorrect. "can now connect" is the correct form, and "with each other" is the correct preposition.

  7. "It is means computer has removed the border between country and country countries." -> "This means that computers have bridged the gap between countries."
    Explanation: "It is means" is grammatically incorrect. "This means that" is correct, and "bridged the gap" is a more precise and formal expression than "removed the border."

  8. "For me, this knowledge becomes as." -> "For me, this knowledge has become."
    Explanation: "becomes as" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "has become" is the correct form.

  9. "More over, computer helps students lean learning without go to school or education center." -> "Moreover, computers help students learn without attending school or educational centers."
    Explanation: "More over" is a typographical error; "Moreover" is the correct term. "lean learning" is incorrect; "learn" is the correct verb. "without go to" is grammatically incorrect; "without attending" is correct.

  10. "On the in fact," -> "In fact,"
    Explanation: "On the in fact" is grammatically incorrect. "In fact" is the correct phrase.

  11. "student can be distracted by game, social media like facebook, instagram, twitter." -> "students can be distracted by games, social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter."
    Explanation: "student" should be plural "students" to match the context. "game" should be plural "games" and "like" should be "such as" for a more formal tone. Also, proper nouns like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter should not be capitalized unless they are at the beginning of a sentence.

  12. "This causing performance of a student on class decline." -> "This can cause a decline in a student’s performance in class."
    Explanation: "This causing" is grammatically incorrect. "This can cause" is correct, and "a decline in a student’s performance in class" is a more precise and formal expression.

  13. "using computer in education have both negative and positive ways" -> "the use of computers in education has both negative and positive effects"
    Explanation: "using computer in education have" is grammatically incorrect. "the use of computers in education has" corrects the verb agreement and formality. "effects" is a more precise term than "ways."

  14. "computer will bring more and more good conveniente in education." -> "computers will bring more and more convenience to education."
    Explanation: "computer" should be plural "computers" to match the context. "good conveniente" is incorrect; "convenience" is the correct word. "to education" is the correct preposition.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the use of computers in education, discussing the positive aspects such as enhanced learning opportunities and the ability to connect with others globally. However, the discussion of negative consequences is less developed, with only two points mentioned: health issues and distractions. The essay does not fully explore the negative implications, such as potential impacts on social skills or the quality of education.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to provide a more balanced discussion. This could involve elaborating on the negative consequences of computer use in education, perhaps by including examples of how reliance on technology can affect critical thinking skills or face-to-face interactions. Additionally, ensuring that each viewpoint is given equal weight will strengthen the overall argument.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The writer expresses a clear opinion that the benefits of using computers in education outweigh the drawbacks. However, the position is somewhat muddled by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, which can confuse the reader. Phrases like "I think firmly believe" and "this knowledge becomes as" detract from the clarity of the position.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should focus on using straightforward language and avoiding contradictory phrases. A strong thesis statement in the introduction that clearly outlines the writer’s stance, followed by consistent reinforcement of that position throughout the essay, would improve clarity.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the benefits of computers in education, such as improved access to information and online learning opportunities. However, these ideas are not always well-supported with specific examples or detailed explanations. For instance, the mention of a friend using Duolingo lacks context and clarity, making it difficult for the reader to understand its relevance.
    • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations. Instead of vague references, the writer could describe specific scenarios or studies that illustrate the benefits and drawbacks of computer use in education. Additionally, ensuring that each point is clearly linked back to the main argument will strengthen the overall coherence of the essay.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the use of computers in education. However, there are moments where the focus shifts, particularly in the second paragraph where the discussion of the friend’s experience becomes unclear and somewhat tangential. The phrase "this knowledge becomes as" is incomplete and distracts from the main argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all examples and points directly relate to the main topic. Avoiding incomplete sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea will help keep the discussion relevant. Additionally, using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader and reinforce the main argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear opinion, improvements in clarity, balance, and support for ideas will enhance the overall effectiveness of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas in a somewhat logical order, beginning with the positive aspects of computers in education before addressing the negative consequences. However, the flow between points is often disrupted by unclear transitions and a lack of clear topic sentences. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of online learning to the example of a friend using Duolingo is abrupt and lacks a clear connection to the preceding argument. Additionally, the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points or present a clear opinion, which can confuse the reader.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," "In contrast," or "On the other hand" can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly. Structuring the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single idea, and a strong conclusion will also improve coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to use paragraphs but lacks clear separation of ideas. The first paragraph combines multiple points about the benefits of computers without distinct breaks, making it difficult to follow. The second paragraph addresses negative aspects but does not effectively separate these points into individual sentences or ideas. This lack of clear paragraphing detracts from the overall readability and coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: The writer should clearly separate paragraphs for each main idea. For example, one paragraph could focus solely on the benefits of computers in education, while another could discuss the drawbacks. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea, supported by examples and explanations, to enhance clarity and organization.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses some cohesive devices, such as "for example" and "besides," but they are limited and often misused. For instance, phrases like "this computer" are vague and do not effectively link back to the subject being discussed. Additionally, the use of "more over" is incorrect; the correct term is "moreover." The overall lack of variety in cohesive devices leads to a choppy reading experience.
    • How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "however," "consequently," and "as a result." This will help clarify relationships between ideas and improve the flow of the essay. Practicing the use of these devices in context can also enhance their effectiveness and ensure they are used appropriately.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, but it lacks variety in expression. Phrases like "using computers for learning purpose" and "convenient way for people to educate easier" are somewhat repetitive and simplistic. The use of "computer" and "students" is prevalent, but there is little variation in terms or synonyms, which limits the lexical richness of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more sophisticated phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "computer," alternatives like "technology," "digital tools," or "electronic devices" could be employed. Additionally, phrases such as "facilitate learning" or "enhance educational experiences" could replace simpler expressions to elevate the language level.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "I think firmly believe" is contradictory and awkward. Additionally, "it is means computer has removed the border between country and country countries" is confusing and poorly constructed. The phrase "lean learning" is also a typographical error that detracts from the intended meaning.
    • How to improve: The writer should focus on clarity and precision in word choice. For instance, instead of "I think firmly believe," a clearer expression would be "I firmly believe." Furthermore, the sentence about borders could be revised to "This means that computers have eliminated geographical barriers." It is crucial to proofread for grammatical coherence and ensure that word choices accurately convey the intended message.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "app online app apply this method for study," "student can studying," and "conveniente." These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling and grammar check tools, and reviewing common spelling rules. Creating a list of frequently misspelled words and practicing them can also be beneficial. Additionally, reading more academic texts can help reinforce correct spelling and enhance familiarity with proper word forms.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates some understanding of the topic and attempts to use a range of vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and overall writing quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Many sentences are simple and lack complexity, which reduces the overall effectiveness of the argument. For instance, sentences like "First of all, using computers for learning purpose helps students get the lesson better" and "For me, this knowledge becomes as" are straightforward but do not showcase varied grammatical forms. The use of conjunctions is minimal, and there are few compound or complex sentences that could enhance the flow and depth of the argument.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that combine independent and dependent clauses. For example, instead of saying "students can be distracted by game," the writer could say, "students can be distracted by games and social media, which can negatively impact their academic performance." Practicing the use of relative clauses and conditional sentences can also help create a more varied and engaging writing style.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "I think firmly believe that is a convenient way for people to educate easier" is grammatically incorrect and confusing. The phrase "computer helps students lean learning without go to school" contains errors in verb form and preposition use. Additionally, punctuation is often missing or misused, such as in "For example, when students use computer to study, they can easy searching for information and notice them," where "easy" should be "easily," and there is a lack of commas to separate clauses appropriately.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on writing can help identify and correct common mistakes. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly for commas and periods, will enhance clarity. For instance, breaking down long sentences into shorter, clearer ones can help avoid run-on sentences and improve readability.

In summary, while the essay presents relevant ideas and examples, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the overall quality of the writing. Regular practice, feedback, and targeted grammar exercises are recommended to achieve these improvements.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, computers are being used more in education, and I firmly believe that this is a convenient way for people to learn more effectively.

First of all, using computers for educational purposes helps students understand lessons better. For example, when students use computers to study, they can easily search for information and access it. Besides, they have the opportunity to learn through images and audio, which traditional education cannot provide. Another positive aspect of using computers is that students can study online with foreigners. There are many online apps that apply this method for studying. People around the world can now connect and share knowledge with each other. This means that computers have removed the borders between countries. For me, this knowledge has become essential. For example, twice a week, my friend, who is studying after university, learns English with foreigners using the Duolingo app, and her English skills have improved significantly since she started learning this way. Moreover, computers help students learn without attending school or educational centers. For example, after school, students can send emails or messages to their teachers to ask about homework or information about what they still need to know regarding their lessons.

On the other hand, computers also bring some negative effects. First, students who use computers excessively can experience problems related to their eyes, such as redness, headaches, or even back pain when they sit in front of a computer for a long time. Second, students can be distracted by games and social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. This can cause a decline in a student’s performance in class.

To conclude, using computers in education has both negative and positive effects, but in my opinion, computers will bring more and more convenience to education.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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