Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why is it not popular in many places?. And how to increase its popularity?.

It is believed that other means of transport is not as friendly to the environment as cycling. This essay will outline the underlying reasons behind the unpopularity of cycling in various places and offer some feasible solutions to rise its demand.
There are a number of factors responsible for the unpopularity of bicycles. Regarding the first cause is that several roads are crowded with larger vehicles in congestion, meaning that there are less separate spaces for bicycle parkings and thus, prevent cyclists having clear vision of the road ahead. This prevention will increase the risk of casualties and raise people's concern about it's safety. Another point worth mentioning is that the infrastructure of transportation is not appropriate because some roads which have been established are not cycle-friendly. For instance, Vietnam do not open separate lane for cyclists in the majority of roads. This may leads to accidents as well as showering their routes, which hinder commuters from choosing cycling.
Various measures, nevertheless, can be adopted to tackle the situation. Chief among these is that some organisations can launch local companions of public bicycle. This allows them to have various choices of ways to exercise and immerse in fresh air, which even more likeable as public bicycles are free to use. As far as the second measure is concerned, the government should develop an effective transport infrastructure for bicycles and offer official policies to motivate people to cycling. Indeed, such policies facilitate separate lane between large vehicles from bicycles on the same road. As a result, the rate of unfortunate events decrease and community's concern of traffic safety will no longer be a problem.
In conclusion, several reasons can be given to explain why cycling is not common in many places. However, steps can be taken to alleviate the situation.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"other means of transport" -> "other modes of transportation"
Explanation: "Modes of transportation" is a more precise and formal term than "means of transport," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic writing.
"not as friendly to the environment" -> "less environmentally friendly"
Explanation: "Less environmentally friendly" is a more concise and academically appropriate phrase that directly conveys the intended meaning.
"This essay will outline" -> "This essay outlines"
Explanation: Using the present tense "outlines" instead of the future tense "will outline" maintains a more formal and assertive tone, indicating that the content is already structured and presented.
"rise its demand" -> "increase its demand"
Explanation: "Increase" is the correct verb form to use with "demand," whereas "rise" is not typically used in this context.
"Regarding the first cause is that" -> "The first cause is that"
Explanation: Removing "Regarding" simplifies the sentence structure, making it more direct and formal.
"larger vehicles in congestion" -> "larger vehicles in congested areas"
Explanation: "Congested areas" is a more precise term than "congestion," which is a general condition rather than a specific location.
"less separate spaces for bicycle parkings" -> "fewer designated parking spaces for bicycles"
Explanation: "Fewer designated parking spaces" is more specific and formal, and "bicycles" should be used instead of "bicycle parkings" for grammatical correctness.
"prevent cyclists having clear vision" -> "prevent cyclists from having a clear view"
Explanation: "From having a clear view" is grammatically correct and more formal than "having clear vision."
"This prevention will increase the risk" -> "This lack of visibility increases the risk"
Explanation: "Lack of visibility" is a more precise term than "prevention," which is incorrectly used here.
"raise people’s concern about it’s safety" -> "raise concerns about its safety"
Explanation: "Concerns" should be plural to match the generalization, and "its" should be lowercase as it refers to the abstract concept of safety.
"do not open separate lane for cyclists" -> "do not provide separate lanes for cyclists"
Explanation: "Provide separate lanes" is a more formal and accurate description of the action.
"This may leads to accidents" -> "This may lead to accidents"
Explanation: "Lead" should be used instead of "leads" for grammatical consistency in the singular context.
"showering their routes" -> "shutting down their routes"
Explanation: "Shutting down" is the correct term for closing or blocking routes, whereas "showering" is incorrect and unclear in this context.
"which even more likeable as public bicycles are free to use" -> "which is even more appealing since public bicycles are free to use"
Explanation: "Appealing" is the correct adjective to describe something that is attractive or enjoyable, and "since" is more formal than "as."
"the government should develop an effective transport infrastructure for bicycles" -> "the government should develop an effective bicycle infrastructure"
Explanation: "Bicycle infrastructure" is a more specific and formal term than "transport infrastructure for bicycles."
"offer official policies to motivate people to cycling" -> "implement policies to encourage cycling"
Explanation: "Implement policies" is more direct and formal than "offer official policies," and "encourage" is more appropriate than "motivate" in this context.
"facilitate separate lane between large vehicles from bicycles" -> "facilitate separate lanes for bicycles from large vehicles"
Explanation: "Separate lanes for bicycles from large vehicles" is grammatically correct and clearer than the original phrase.
"the rate of unfortunate events decrease" -> "the rate of accidents decreases"
Explanation: "Accidents" is a more specific term than "unfortunate events," and "decreases" should be used with the singular subject "rate."
"community’s concern of traffic safety" -> "concerns about traffic safety"
Explanation: "Concerns about" is grammatically correct and more formal than "community’s concern of."

These changes enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies reasons for the unpopularity of cycling and suggests measures to increase its popularity. The first paragraph clearly states the intention to discuss the underlying reasons and feasible solutions. However, while the reasons provided are relevant, they could be more explicitly linked to the overall argument about cycling’s environmental benefits. For example, the mention of safety concerns could be tied back to how these concerns detract from cycling as a sustainable transport option.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that each reason clearly connects to the prompt’s focus on cycling’s environmental friendliness. Adding a brief explanation of how each point relates to the broader context of cycling’s benefits would strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that cycling is environmentally friendly but struggles with consistency in presenting this viewpoint. While the initial statement suggests that cycling is superior to other forms of transport, the discussion on safety and infrastructure could lead to ambiguity about whether the author believes cycling is a viable option in its current state. The phrase "this prevention will increase the risk of casualties" could imply that cycling is unsafe, which may confuse the reader regarding the author’s stance.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently reinforce the benefits of cycling throughout the essay. This can be achieved by framing each point in a way that highlights cycling’s advantages, even when discussing challenges. For instance, when addressing safety concerns, the author could emphasize that improving safety measures will enhance cycling’s appeal and environmental benefits.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the unpopularity of cycling and potential solutions. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the mention of "local companions of public bicycle" lacks clarity and detail, making it difficult for the reader to understand the proposed solution fully. Additionally, the examples provided (like the lack of separate lanes in Vietnam) are relevant but could benefit from further elaboration to illustrate their impact on cycling’s popularity.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, elaborating on how public bicycle schemes have succeeded in other countries could offer a stronger basis for the proposed solutions. Furthermore, using statistics or studies to support claims about safety and infrastructure would enhance the essay’s credibility.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the reasons for cycling’s unpopularity and potential solutions. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the discussion of safety concerns. The phrase "showering their routes" is unclear and seems to deviate from the main topic, which could confuse readers about its relevance.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every sentence contributes directly to the discussion of cycling’s popularity and its environmental benefits. Avoiding vague phrases and ensuring clarity in language will help keep the essay on topic. Additionally, a brief summary of how each point ties back to the environmental aspect of cycling could reinforce the main argument throughout the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task but could benefit from clearer connections between ideas, more detailed examples, and a consistent reinforcement of the central argument regarding cycling’s environmental advantages.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, with the first paragraph focusing on the reasons for the unpopularity of cycling and the second on potential solutions. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument effectively. However, the transition between points could be smoother; for instance, the shift from discussing road safety to infrastructure lacks a clear linking statement.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas, such as "In addition to safety concerns, another significant factor is…" This will help guide the reader through the argument more seamlessly.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into distinct paragraphs, each serving a specific purpose. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs explore reasons and solutions, and the conclusion summarizes the discussion. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured; for example, the first body paragraph combines multiple ideas without clear separation, making it slightly difficult to follow.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. For instance, consider splitting the first body paragraph into two: one discussing safety concerns and another addressing infrastructure issues. This will allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "chief among these," and "as far as the second measure is concerned." These devices help to connect ideas and indicate shifts in the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the use of pronouns and conjunctions could be improved for clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "another point worth mentioning," consider alternatives like "furthermore," "additionally," or "conversely." This will enhance the essay’s cohesion and make the argument more engaging.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion with a solid overall structure, there are opportunities for improvement in the logical flow between ideas, the clarity of paragraph organization, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, such as "underlying reasons," "unpopularity," "infrastructure," and "casualties." However, the vocabulary choices are somewhat limited and repetitive. For example, the phrase "unpopularity of bicycles" is used multiple times, and terms like "transportation" and "cycling" recur without variation. This limits the lexical richness of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "unpopularity," alternatives like "lack of popularity," "disfavor," or "low adoption rates" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "bicycle usage" or "cycling culture" can diversify the vocabulary related to the topic.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that affect clarity. For example, the phrase "rise its demand" should be "raise its demand," indicating a misunderstanding of the verbs "rise" and "raise." Similarly, "showing their routes" is vague and does not clearly convey the intended meaning. The term "local companions of public bicycle" is also unclear and could confuse readers.
- How to improve: The writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. A thorough review of commonly confused words and phrases would be beneficial. For instance, replacing "rise" with "raise" and clarifying "local companions of public bicycle" to "local campaigns for public bicycles" would enhance precision. Regular practice with vocabulary exercises can also aid in developing a better understanding of word usage.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "it’s" (which should be "its" in the context of possession), "do not open" (which should be "does not open" for subject-verb agreement), and "leads" (which should be "lead" in the context used). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in proofreading their work before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can significantly enhance spelling skills. Regular writing practice, combined with feedback from peers or instructors, can also help identify and correct recurring spelling mistakes.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic command of vocabulary suitable for a Band 6 score, there is significant room for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By actively expanding vocabulary, focusing on precise word choice, and enhancing spelling skills, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and some complex sentences. For example, the use of "This essay will outline the underlying reasons behind the unpopularity of cycling in various places and offer some feasible solutions to rise its demand" showcases an effective compound structure. However, the essay primarily relies on straightforward constructions, which limits its overall complexity. Additionally, phrases like "the infrastructure of transportation is not appropriate" could be rephrased to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "the government should develop an effective transport infrastructure for bicycles," the writer could say, "In order to promote cycling, the government should develop an effective transport infrastructure that accommodates bicycles." This not only adds complexity but also improves clarity.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity and professionalism. For example, "other means of transport is not as friendly" should be "other means of transport are not as friendly," indicating a subject-verb agreement error. Additionally, the phrase "it’s safety" should be corrected to "its safety," as "it’s" is a contraction for "it is." Punctuation errors include the lack of commas in complex sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences and confusion.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement rules and practice identifying possessive forms versus contractions. Additionally, incorporating a proofreading step before submission can help catch punctuation errors. For instance, breaking down long sentences into shorter ones or using commas to separate clauses would improve readability. Regular practice with grammar exercises focused on common errors can also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable understanding of the topic and attempts to address the prompt, improving the variety of sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the quality of writing and potentially lead to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is believed that other means of transport are not as environmentally friendly as cycling. This essay outlines the underlying reasons behind the unpopularity of cycling in various places and offers some feasible solutions to increase its demand.

There are a number of factors responsible for the unpopularity of bicycles. The first cause is that several roads are crowded with larger vehicles in congestion, meaning that there are fewer designated parking spaces for bicycles and thus, prevent cyclists from having a clear view of the road ahead. This lack of visibility increases the risk of casualties and raises people’s concerns about its safety. Another point worth mentioning is that the infrastructure of transportation is not appropriate because some roads that have been established are not cycle-friendly. For instance, Vietnam does not provide separate lanes for cyclists on the majority of roads. This may lead to accidents as well as shutting down their routes, which hinders commuters from choosing cycling.

Various measures, nevertheless, can be adopted to tackle the situation. Chief among these is that some organizations can launch local campaigns for public bicycles. This allows people to have various choices of ways to exercise and immerse themselves in fresh air, which is even more appealing since public bicycles are free to use. As far as the second measure is concerned, the government should develop an effective bicycle infrastructure and implement policies to encourage cycling. Indeed, such policies facilitate separate lanes for bicycles from large vehicles on the same road. As a result, the rate of accidents decreases and the community’s concerns about traffic safety will no longer be a problem.

In conclusion, several reasons can be given to explain why cycling is not common in many places. However, steps can be taken to alleviate the situation.