Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why is it not popular in many places? And how to increase its popularity? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why is it not popular in many places? And how to increase its popularity?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Given the significance of bicycle usage in protecting the environment, questions arise as to why it is not as widespread and popular as other transport forms are looming large. This essay will delve into several causes of this trend and propose feasible measures to promote the usage of bicycles. 
There emerge two major culprits for the uncommon use of bikes. First of all, due to the hustle and bustle of city life, individuals nowadays want to spend as little time traveling as possible. Therefore, they tend to prefer riding motorbikes or driving cars which can save a lot of time. Also, if they are cycling, this activity requires people to use more energy and it can be quite demanding for unhealthy people. Furthermore, most people do not pay much attention to the detrimental effects of cars and public transportation on the environment. They often prioritize their rights to be convenient when using these vehicles rather than considering their surroundings. Thus, it is quite challenging to propagate and expect cycling in modern cities or also in some countryside. 
At the heart of the combat against this issue and encouraging more individuals to use environmentally friendly vehicles, there is a need to implement several strategies. Governments can increase the cost of owning a motorbike or a car which makes people more difficult to buy their private vehicles. To be specific, increasing the tax and the price of petrol can be good ways to decrease the number of car usage. Additionally, I believe the council should construct several lanes solely for cyclists so people can travel faster without car obstructions. Last but not least, it is crucial to raise people's awareness of the detrimental effects of cars and motorbikes on the environment. They can be propagated in some traditional ways like newspapers or utilized social media as a very effective solution to encourage people to cycle more. 
In conclusion, although cycling has a significant impact on preserving nature, it still receives very little recognition from citizens due to several reasons. However, with the support of the government as well as increasing individuals' awareness, it will help promote the use of bicycles. 

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "Given the significance of bicycle usage in protecting the environment, questions arise as to why it is not as widespread and popular as other transport forms are looming large." -> "Given the environmental benefits of bicycle usage, questions arise as to why it is not as widespread as other transport modes."
   Explanation: The phrase "looming large" is an idiom that may be too informal for academic writing. Replacing it with "as widespread" maintains the intended meaning while enhancing the formality of the sentence.

2. "There emerge two major culprits for the uncommon use of bikes." -> "There are two primary factors contributing to the relatively infrequent use of bicycles."
   Explanation: "There emerge" is awkward and incorrect in this context. "There are" is the correct form, and "primary factors" and "relatively infrequent use" are more precise and formal than "two major culprits" and "uncommon use."

3. "First of all, due to the hustle and bustle of city life, individuals nowadays want to spend as little time traveling as possible." -> "Firstly, due to the fast-paced nature of urban life, individuals often seek to minimize their travel time."
   Explanation: "First of all" is a colloquial expression; "Firstly" is more formal. "Hustle and bustle" is somewhat informal and vague; "fast-paced nature" is more specific and formal. "Individuals nowadays" is redundant; "individuals" alone is sufficient.

4. "Also, if they are cycling, this activity requires people to use more energy and it can be quite demanding for unhealthy people." -> "Additionally, cycling demands more energy and can be challenging for those with health issues."
   Explanation: "Also" is informal; "Additionally" is more appropriate in formal writing. "Unhealthy people" is vague and informal; "those with health issues" is more precise and formal.

5. "Thus, it is quite challenging to propagate and expect cycling in modern cities or also in some countryside." -> "Therefore, it is challenging to promote cycling in modern cities and rural areas."
   Explanation: "Propagate" is incorrect in this context; "promote" is the correct verb. "Expect" is also incorrect; "promote" is the correct verb. "Countryside" should be "rural areas" for grammatical correctness and formality.

6. "Governments can increase the cost of owning a motorbike or a car which makes people more difficult to buy their private vehicles." -> "Governments can increase the cost of owning a motorbike or car, thereby making it more difficult for individuals to purchase private vehicles."
   Explanation: "Which makes people more difficult to buy" is awkward and informal; "thereby making it more difficult for individuals to purchase" is clearer and more formal.

7. "To be specific, increasing the tax and the price of petrol can be good ways to decrease the number of car usage." -> "Specifically, increasing taxes and the price of petrol can be effective methods to reduce car usage."
   Explanation: "To be specific" is informal; "Specifically" is more formal. "Good ways" is vague; "effective methods" is more precise. "Decrease the number of car usage" is grammatically incorrect; "reduce car usage" is correct.

8. "Additionally, I believe the council should construct several lanes solely for cyclists so people can travel faster without car obstructions." -> "Furthermore, I advocate for the construction of dedicated cycling lanes to enable faster travel without car interference."
   Explanation: "Additionally" is correct, but "I believe" is informal; "I advocate for" is more assertive and formal. "Construct several lanes solely for cyclists" is awkward; "construct dedicated cycling lanes" is more concise and formal. "Travel faster without car obstructions" is informal; "enable faster travel without car interference" is more precise and formal.

9. "Last but not least, it is crucial to raise people’s awareness of the detrimental effects of cars and motorbikes on the environment." -> "Finally, it is essential to raise public awareness of the adverse impacts of cars and motorbikes on the environment."
   Explanation: "Last but not least" is informal; "Finally" is more formal. "People’s awareness" is vague; "public awareness" is more specific. "Detrimental effects" is correct, but "adverse impacts" is a more formal synonym.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies reasons for the lack of popularity of cycling and proposes measures to increase its usage. The first paragraph outlines the reasons, such as the preference for convenience and the physical demands of cycling, while the second paragraph suggests solutions like increasing costs for motor vehicles and creating dedicated cycling lanes. This comprehensive approach demonstrates a strong understanding of the task.
  • How to improve: To enhance the response further, the essay could benefit from more specific examples or data to support the claims made. For instance, citing statistics on urban cycling rates or examples of cities that have successfully implemented cycling initiatives could strengthen the argument and provide a more robust answer.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that cycling is beneficial for the environment but is underutilized due to various factors. The stance is consistent throughout, with each paragraph reinforcing the idea that both societal habits and government action are crucial to promoting cycling. The conclusion effectively summarizes this position.
  • How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could further emphasize the importance of cycling by discussing its broader implications for urban planning or public health. This would not only reinforce the argument but also provide a more nuanced view of the topic.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented logically, with each point building on the previous one. The essay discusses the reasons for the lack of cycling and then transitions smoothly into potential solutions. However, some ideas could be more thoroughly developed. For example, the suggestion to increase taxes on motor vehicles is a strong point but could be elaborated with potential outcomes or examples of its effectiveness in other regions.
  • How to improve: To improve the depth of the argument, the writer could include specific case studies or examples of cities that have successfully increased cycling rates through similar measures. This would provide tangible support for the proposed solutions and enhance the overall persuasiveness of the essay.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing both the reasons for the lack of cycling popularity and the strategies to promote it. There are no significant deviations from the prompt, and all points made are relevant to the discussion.
  • How to improve: To ensure continued focus, the writer should avoid introducing any unrelated ideas or tangents. Additionally, reinforcing the connection between each point and the central theme of environmental benefits could further enhance the coherence of the essay. For instance, explicitly linking the proposed solutions back to their environmental impact would strengthen the overall argument.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a clear, well-structured argument. To achieve an even higher band score, the writer should aim to incorporate specific examples, elaborate on key points, and reinforce the connections between ideas and the central theme of environmental sustainability.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the main points to be discussed. The body paragraphs are organized around two main ideas: the reasons for the lack of popularity of cycling and the proposed solutions to increase its usage. This logical flow allows the reader to follow the argument easily. For instance, the transition from discussing the reasons (e.g., convenience of motor vehicles) to solutions (e.g., government interventions) is smooth and coherent.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization further, the essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This would provide a stronger roadmap for the reader. For example, explicitly stating "Firstly, the reasons for the low popularity of cycling include…" at the start of the first body paragraph would reinforce the structure.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the discussion, making it easier for the reader to digest the information. The introduction sets the stage, while the body paragraphs delve into specific issues and solutions, culminating in a concise conclusion.
  • How to improve: While the paragraphing is generally effective, the essay could be improved by ensuring that each paragraph contains a clear central idea that is fully developed. For instance, the second body paragraph could be split into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on government actions and the other on raising awareness. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each solution and enhance readability.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "first of all," "furthermore," and "last but not least," which help to guide the reader through the argument. These devices effectively signal the progression of ideas and maintain the flow of the essay. The use of phrases like "due to the hustle and bustle of city life" also aids in connecting ideas logically.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer could incorporate more varied linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "first of all," alternatives like "initially" or "to begin with" could be employed. Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices, such as "in contrast" or "on the other hand," could enhance the sophistication of the writing and provide clearer comparisons between ideas.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, with a clear structure and effective use of cohesive devices. By focusing on clearer topic sentences, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can further elevate the quality of their writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using terms such as "significance," "uncommon," "detrimental," and "propagate." These choices reflect an understanding of the topic and convey meaning effectively. However, there are moments where word choice could be more varied or sophisticated. For instance, the phrase "hustle and bustle" is somewhat clichéd and could be replaced with more original expressions.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and more complex phrases. For example, instead of "hustle and bustle," alternatives like "fast-paced urban life" or "chaotic city environment" could be used. Additionally, exploring academic or technical vocabulary related to environmental issues could further enrich the essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "individuals nowadays want to spend as little time traveling as possible" could be more succinctly expressed as "individuals today prioritize efficiency in travel." The term "propagate" is also used in a context that may not fully align with its typical meaning, which is more about spreading ideas rather than promoting behavior.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should consider the context in which certain words are used. A good practice is to review definitions and connotations of words to ensure they fit the intended meaning. Additionally, using simpler, more direct language can sometimes enhance clarity without sacrificing sophistication.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no evident spelling errors. This contributes positively to the overall readability and professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: While spelling is correct, the writer should continue to practice and review commonly misspelled words, especially those related to the topic of discussion. Engaging in regular writing exercises and utilizing spell-check tools can help maintain this level of accuracy.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a Band Score of 7. By focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving an even higher score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "Given the significance of bicycle usage in protecting the environment" and "At the heart of the combat against this issue" showcase an ability to use introductory clauses and varied sentence openings effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the second paragraph where phrases like "First of all," "Also," and "Furthermore" create a predictable rhythm that could be diversified.
  • How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating more varied sentence types, such as using inversion for emphasis (e.g., "Never before have we seen such a decline in cycling") or starting sentences with adverbial phrases (e.g., "In urban areas, the preference for cars is evident"). Additionally, mixing shorter sentences with longer, more complex ones can create a more dynamic flow.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, but there are a few errors that detract from its overall quality. For example, the phrase "questions arise as to why it is not as widespread and popular as other transport forms are looming large" is awkwardly constructed and could be simplified for clarity. Furthermore, the use of commas is inconsistent; for instance, "which makes people more difficult to buy their private vehicles" should be revised for clarity and grammatical correctness.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on sentence clarity and conciseness. Rephrasing complex sentences can help avoid awkward constructions. For punctuation, ensure that commas are used correctly to separate clauses and enhance readability. Regular practice with grammar exercises focused on common pitfalls, such as subject-verb agreement and the correct use of relative clauses, will also be beneficial.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, attention to sentence variety and grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Given the significance of bicycle usage in protecting the environment, questions arise as to why it is not as widespread and popular as other forms of transport. This essay will delve into several causes of this trend and propose feasible measures to promote the usage of bicycles.

There are two major factors contributing to the relatively infrequent use of bikes. Firstly, due to the hustle and bustle of city life, individuals nowadays want to spend as little time traveling as possible. Therefore, they tend to prefer riding motorbikes or driving cars, which can save a lot of time. Additionally, cycling requires people to use more energy, and it can be quite demanding for those with health issues. Furthermore, most people do not pay much attention to the detrimental effects of cars and public transportation on the environment. They often prioritize their convenience when using these vehicles rather than considering their surroundings. Thus, it is quite challenging to promote cycling in modern cities and even in some rural areas.

To combat this issue and encourage more individuals to use environmentally friendly vehicles, there is a need to implement several strategies. Governments can increase the cost of owning a motorbike or car, making it more difficult for people to purchase private vehicles. Specifically, increasing taxes and the price of petrol can be effective methods to reduce car usage. Additionally, I believe councils should construct dedicated lanes for cyclists so people can travel faster without car obstructions. Last but not least, it is crucial to raise public awareness of the adverse effects of cars and motorbikes on the environment. This can be done through traditional methods like newspapers or by utilizing social media as an effective solution to encourage people to cycle more.

In conclusion, although cycling has a significant impact on preserving nature, it still receives very little recognition from citizens due to several reasons. However, with the support of the government and increased public awareness, it will help promote the use of bicycles.