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Describe a film or TV program that made you laugh

Describe a film or TV program that made you laugh

Remind of funniest world movie certainly you cannot ignore the Mr Bean series. The film includes 15 episodes played by Rowan Atkinson as the main character and it aired first broadcast in 1990. The stories revolve around a character Mr Bean, who is known as a child in an adult’s body. Faced with every situation, Mr Bean always has funny solutions.
This film helps me relax after learning and stressful work. And my friends always joke that I have a face similar to Mr Bean. From that, I’d love to watch more of Mr Bean’s funny movies.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Remind of funniest world movie certainly you cannot ignore the Mr Bean series." -> "When considering the funniest movies worldwide, the Mr Bean series is certainly unforgettable."
    Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and uses informal language. The suggested improvement provides a more structured and formal expression.

  2. "The film includes 15 episodes played by Rowan Atkinson as the main character and it aired first broadcast in 1990." -> "Comprising 15 episodes, the series features Rowan Atkinson portraying the main character, and it was initially broadcast in 1990."
    Explanation: The revised version maintains clarity while using more precise language and adhering to a formal structure.

  3. "The stories revolve around a character Mr Bean, who is known as a child in an adult’s body." -> "The narratives center on Mr Bean, a character known for his childlike behavior within an adult’s body."
    Explanation: The suggested alternative enhances the academic tone by providing a more refined description of the character.

  4. "Faced with every situation, Mr Bean always has funny solutions." -> "Confronted with various situations, Mr Bean consistently devises humorous solutions."
    Explanation: The replacement offers a more sophisticated expression by using the word "confronted" instead of "faced" and by choosing a more formal term like "devises."

  5. "This film helps me relax after learning and stressful work." -> "This series provides relaxation for me after intense learning and work."
    Explanation: The suggested change maintains the intended meaning while using a more formal term like "series" instead of "film" and rephrasing for better flow.

  6. "And my friends always joke that I have a face similar to Mr Bean." -> "Furthermore, my friends frequently jest that my facial expressions resemble those of Mr Bean."
    Explanation: The revised version replaces informal language with more sophisticated expressions, enhancing the academic tone of the statement.

  7. "From that, I’d love to watch more of Mr Bean’s funny movies." -> "As a result, I am inclined to watch additional comedic episodes featuring Mr Bean."
    Explanation: The improvement offers a more formal and precise expression, avoiding the colloquial term "funny movies" and using "comedic episodes" instead.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by describing a film or TV program that made the author laugh. It introduces the Mr Bean series and briefly outlines its characteristics. However, the response lacks depth and detail. There is no exploration of specific elements or scenes in the series that induced laughter, and the explanation is somewhat superficial.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the author should delve into specific instances or scenes from the Mr Bean series that evoked laughter. Providing detailed examples would add depth to the essay and fulfill the requirement of thoroughly addressing all aspects of the prompt.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The author’s position is clear – they find the Mr Bean series humorous and use it as a source of relaxation. However, the essay lacks a consistent and developed stance throughout. The brief explanation of the series and its impact on the author’s mood is not consistently maintained or expanded upon.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the author should elaborate further on why the Mr Bean series is personally amusing. Additionally, maintaining a consistent focus on the impact of humor on relaxation would strengthen the overall position presented in the essay.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay briefly introduces the Mr Bean series and mentions its humorous solutions to various situations. However, there is a lack of extension and support for these ideas. The author does not provide specific examples or elaborate on how the humor is presented in the series.
    • How to improve: To enhance the presentation of ideas, the author should offer specific examples of funny situations from the Mr Bean series. Elaborating on these instances and explaining why they are humorous would provide better support for the central idea.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by describing the Mr Bean series and its humorous nature. However, there is a brief mention of the author’s friends joking about their resemblance to Mr Bean, which slightly deviates from the main topic of the film or TV program that made the author laugh.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should avoid introducing elements that are not directly related to the laughter-inducing aspects of the Mr Bean series. Eliminating unrelated details would ensure the essay stays consistently on topic.

In summary, while the essay adequately addresses the prompt, there is room for improvement in providing specific examples, maintaining a consistent stance, extending ideas, and avoiding minor deviations. By incorporating these suggestions, the essay can enhance its overall coherence and depth, potentially achieving a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear organizational structure. While it briefly introduces the Mr Bean series, it does not follow a logical progression of ideas or a clear sequence of events. The introduction seems abrupt, and the information is presented in a somewhat random order, affecting the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider providing a more structured introduction that introduces the Mr Bean series, followed by a sequential presentation of key aspects or episodes. Ensure a smooth transition between ideas to guide the reader through the essay logically.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay consists of only one paragraph, making it challenging for the reader to follow different ideas. Paragraph breaks can help create a more organized and reader-friendly structure. The lack of distinct paragraphs affects the overall flow and readability of the essay.
    • How to improve: Divide the essay into paragraphs to distinguish different aspects of the Mr Bean series. For example, one paragraph could focus on the introduction and background, another on specific episodes or features, and a concluding paragraph summarizing the impact or personal connection. This will improve the overall structure and make the essay more accessible.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks variety in cohesive devices, resulting in a monotonous flow. There is a limited use of transition words or phrases to connect ideas and guide the reader through the narrative. This affects the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
    • How to improve: Incorporate a wider range of cohesive devices such as transition words (e.g., firstly, moreover, consequently) and pronouns to establish connections between sentences and ideas. This will create a smoother flow and enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, consider using parallel structures to maintain consistency in expression.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. While the candidate uses some words and expressions related to the topic, there is a lack of diversity in vocabulary. For instance, the repetition of phrases like "Mr Bean" and "funny" indicates a reliance on a few key terms. Expanding the lexical variety would enhance the richness of expression.
    • How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating synonyms and exploring different ways to express ideas. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "funny," experiment with words like amusing, humorous, or comical. Additionally, explore more diverse vocabulary related to the film industry, such as genres, actors, or production elements, to add depth to your descriptions.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The usage of vocabulary is generally clear, but there are instances where precision could be improved. For example, the phrase "Remind of funniest world movie certainly" is unclear and could benefit from more precise language. Also, the expression "child in an adult’s body" could be refined for better clarity.
    • How to improve: Work on expressing ideas with greater clarity and precision. Instead of "Remind of funniest world movie certainly," consider a clearer introduction like "One of the most amusing films globally is undoubtedly the Mr. Bean series." For the characterization of Mr. Bean, use terms like "childlike innocence in an adult’s world" to provide a more precise and vivid description.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "broadcast" being written as "broadcasted" and the misspelling of "Rowan Atkinson" as "Rowan Atkins(on)." These errors impact the overall spelling accuracy of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofread your writing carefully. Pay attention to the correct spelling of names, especially those of well-known figures like Rowan Atkinson. Additionally, be mindful of verb forms, such as using "broadcast" instead of "broadcasted." Consider utilizing spelling and grammar check tools to identify and correct errors systematically.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks variety in sentence structures, primarily relying on simple sentences. For instance, the first sentence is somewhat convoluted, attempting to introduce the Mr Bean series but falling short in complexity. The essay does not demonstrate a proficient use of compound or complex sentences, limiting its overall grammatical range.

    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical range, introduce a mix of sentence structures. Incorporate compound and complex sentences to convey ideas more effectively. For example, instead of using straightforward sentences, try combining ideas or using subordination to create more sophisticated structures.

  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies. One notable issue is the phrase "Remind of funniest world movie certainly you cannot ignore," which lacks grammatical clarity. Additionally, the essay lacks proper punctuation in various places, such as the absence of a comma after "And" in the second paragraph.

    • How to improve: Focus on refining grammatical accuracy by reviewing and correcting sentence structures. For example, rephrase the opening sentence for clarity. Also, pay attention to punctuation rules, ensuring proper comma usage for improved coherence. Regular proofreading can significantly contribute to minimizing these errors.

This essay demonstrates an adequate understanding of the prompt and presents relevant content about the Mr Bean series. However, to achieve a higher band score for grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should aim for a more diverse and sophisticated range of sentence structures while addressing the identified grammatical and punctuation issues. Regular practice, reading model essays, and seeking feedback can contribute to substantial improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

When considering the funniest movies worldwide, the Mr Bean series is certainly unforgettable. Comprising 15 episodes, the series features Rowan Atkinson portraying the main character, and it was initially broadcast in 1990. The narratives center on Mr Bean, a character known for his childlike behavior within an adult’s body. Confronted with various situations, Mr Bean consistently devises humorous solutions. This series provides relaxation for me after intense learning and work. Furthermore, my friends frequently jest that my facial expressions resemble those of Mr Bean. As a result, I am inclined to watch additional comedic episodes featuring Mr Bean.

Reminding me of the world’s funniest movies, one cannot ignore the Mr Bean series. The film includes 15 episodes played by Rowan Atkinson as the main character and it first aired in 1990. The stories revolve around a character, Mr Bean, who is known as a child in an adult’s body. Faced with every situation, Mr Bean always has funny solutions. This film helps me relax after learning and stressful work. And my friends always joke that I have a face similar to Mr Bean. From that, I’d love to watch more of Mr Bean’s funny movies.

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