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Describe a film or TV program that made you laugh

Describe a film or TV program that made you laugh

Today I want to talk about the TV show "Hai Ngày Một Đêm". This is an entertainment program that I look forward to after a tiring day of work and study. Not only that, but this program also helps my family sit together more happily. These things always remind me of the show "Hai Ngày Một Đêm" when someone asks me what my favorite program is on TV. And I'm sure everyone will enjoy watching it, so try watching this program, not only to understand more about many different regions but also an opportunity for families to gather together,
especially at the end of this year. As the new year approaches, I wish everyone a warm Tết with relatives and friends


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "Today I want to talk about the TV show ‘Hai Ngày Một Đêm’." -> "Today, I would like to discuss the television program ‘Hai Ngày Một Đêm.’"
    Explanation: Replacing "talk about" with "discuss" and specifying "television program" instead of "TV show" enhances the formality and precision of the sentence, aligning it more closely with academic style.

  2. "This is an entertainment program that I look forward to after a tiring day of work and study." -> "This is an engaging program that I anticipate enjoying after a taxing day of work and study."
    Explanation: Substituting "entertainment" with "engaging" and replacing "look forward to" with "anticipate enjoying" elevates the language to a more formal level while maintaining a natural flow.

  3. "Not only that, but this program also helps my family sit together more happily." -> "Furthermore, this program contributes to our family’s enhanced togetherness and happiness."
    Explanation: The suggested changes introduce more formal linking words and replace the informal phrase "sit together more happily" with a more sophisticated expression, enhancing the academic tone.

  4. "These things always remind me of the show ‘Hai Ngày Một Đêm’ when someone asks me what my favorite program is on TV." -> "These aspects consistently bring the show ‘Hai Ngày Một Đêm’ to mind when queried about my preferred television program."
    Explanation: The revision employs more formal language, using "aspects" instead of "things" and restructuring the sentence for greater formality and precision.

  5. "And I’m sure everyone will enjoy watching it, so try watching this program, not only to understand more about many different regions but also an opportunity for families to gather together," -> "I am confident that everyone will derive enjoyment from watching this program. Therefore, I encourage you to view it, not only to gain insights into various regions but also as an opportunity for familial gatherings."
    Explanation: The changes aim to eliminate the informal "And I’m sure" and introduce more confident language. The sentence is rephrased for clarity and formality, maintaining the academic tone.

  6. "As the new year approaches, I wish everyone a warm Tết with relatives and friends." -> "As the new year approaches, I extend warm wishes to everyone for a joyful Tết celebration with relatives and friends."
    Explanation: The suggested alterations enhance the formality of the sentence, replacing "wish" with "extend warm wishes" and providing a more elaborate expression for the Tết celebration, aligning with academic conventions.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay briefly introduces the TV show "Hai Ngày Một Đêm" but lacks depth in addressing how the program made the writer laugh. The prompt specifically asks for a description of a film or TV program that made the writer laugh, and the response does not sufficiently elaborate on the humor elements.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, provide specific examples of scenes, jokes, or moments from the TV show that elicited laughter. Explore the comedic aspects in more detail to better fulfill the requirement of describing what made the writer laugh.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent stance in praising the TV show "Hai Ngày Một Đêm" and highlighting its positive impact on the writer’s life and family. The position is clear and unwavering throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: No improvement needed for this criterion; the writer effectively communicates a positive view of the TV show.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The ideas in the essay are presented in a straightforward manner. However, the lack of specific examples or anecdotes to support the claim that the TV show is enjoyable diminishes the overall depth of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance the essay, incorporate specific instances or episodes from "Hai Ngày Một Đêm" that highlight its humor and entertainment value. Providing anecdotes or elaborating on particular funny moments can make the essay more engaging and persuasive.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the TV show "Hai Ngày Một Đêm." However, there is a slight deviation towards the end when the writer wishes everyone a warm Tết (Vietnamese New Year) without directly tying it back to the humor aspect of the TV show.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that all content directly relates to the humor and entertainment value of the TV show. If mentioning Tết, connect it back to how the TV show contributes to the joyous atmosphere during this time.

In conclusion, while the essay effectively expresses a positive opinion about the TV show "Hai Ngày Một Đêm," it falls short in providing specific details about the humor elements that made the writer laugh. Incorporating more vivid examples and maintaining a direct connection to the humor aspect would significantly improve the depth and relevance of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of logical organization. The introduction provides a clear indication of the TV show in question, and the subsequent sentences touch upon its significance to the author. However, there is room for improvement in the body paragraphs. The transition from discussing personal enjoyment to a broader recommendation is somewhat abrupt. This may create a minor disruption in the logical flow of ideas.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider a smoother transition between personal experiences and the recommendation. For example, a dedicated paragraph discussing specific aspects of the TV show before moving into its broader appeal would provide a more structured approach.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs to some extent, with a clear separation between the introduction and the body of the essay. However, the body paragraphs could be further developed to provide more structure and depth to the essay. Additionally, the conclusion is somewhat brief, leaving room for improvement in terms of a distinct conclusion paragraph.
    • How to improve: Strengthen the body paragraphs by dedicating separate paragraphs to different aspects of the TV show, such as content, humor, and family involvement. Also, consider a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes key points and reinforces the recommendation.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses basic cohesive devices to link ideas, such as "Not only that" and "especially." However, there is limited diversity in the use of such devices. The essay lacks a variety of linking words and phrases that could contribute to a more seamless connection between sentences and ideas.
    • How to improve: Broaden the range of cohesive devices used. Introduce a variety of transition words and phrases such as "furthermore," "consequently," or "in addition." This will enhance the overall cohesion of the essay, creating a smoother and more polished piece of writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. The use of phrases like "tiring day," "entertainment program," and "opportunity for families to gather together" showcases a reasonable attempt to employ varied vocabulary. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the choice of words and expressions further. For instance, a more extensive range of adjectives, adverbs, and idiomatic expressions could enhance the overall lexical richness.

    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating more specific and nuanced terms. Instead of using generic phrases like "tiring day," explore descriptive alternatives such as "exhausting workday" or "demanding day of study." Introduce idiomatic expressions or synonyms to convey ideas in a more nuanced manner. For instance, instead of repeatedly mentioning "Hai Ngày Một Đêm," experiment with synonyms or different phrases to express the idea of an entertaining TV show.

  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision. However, there are instances where the language could be more precise. For example, the phrase "warm Tết with relatives and friends" could benefit from more specific adjectives or details to convey a clearer image. Additionally, certain expressions, such as "an opportunity for families to gather together," could be refined for greater precision.

    • How to improve: Aim for more precision by using specific adjectives that vividly describe the intended emotions or experiences. Instead of "warm Tết," consider phrases like "joyful and heartwarming Tết celebration with loved ones." For the idea of families gathering, explore alternatives such as "a chance for families to reunite and bond." This will contribute to a more detailed and vivid portrayal of the sentiments conveyed in the essay.

  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains correct spelling throughout. However, there are a few minor issues, such as the inconsistent use of capitalization in "Tết." Ensuring consistent capitalization and paying attention to small details will contribute to an overall improvement in spelling accuracy.

    • How to improve: Review the essay carefully to address minor spelling inconsistencies. Pay attention to proper noun capitalization, ensuring that terms like "Tết" are consistently capitalized. Utilize spelling and grammar tools during the proofreading process to catch any overlooked errors. Developing a habit of meticulous proofreading will further enhance spelling accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a moderate range of sentence structures. While there is a mix of simple and complex sentences, the majority tend to be straightforward and lack complexity. For example, the use of coordinating conjunctions (e.g., "and") dominates, and there’s room for improvement in incorporating more complex structures, such as subordinating conjunctions and varied sentence types (e.g., compound-complex).
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, consider incorporating a variety of sentence structures. Introduce subordinating conjunctions to create complex sentences, and experiment with different sentence types, including compound and compound-complex structures. This will not only diversify your writing but also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains grammatical accuracy, with few notable errors. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and missing articles (e.g., "warm Tết with relatives and friends"). Additionally, punctuation, while generally correct, could be refined for more precise expression. For example, the sentence "These things always remind me of the show ‘Hai Ngày Một Đêm’ when someone asks me what my favorite program is on TV" might benefit from rephrasing for clarity and coherence.
    • How to improve: Focus on refining sentence structures for clarity. Pay attention to articles, ensuring their correct usage. Review the essay for punctuation precision, particularly in complex sentences. Consider using commas or other punctuation marks to enhance the flow and readability of your ideas. Proofread carefully to catch and correct any awkward phrasing that may impact the overall coherence of your sentences.

Overall, your essay demonstrates a solid command of grammar and sentence structure. To elevate your score, aim for a more extensive range of sentence structures, and refine your grammar and punctuation for greater precision and clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

Today, I would like to discuss the television program ‘Hai Ngày Một Đêm.’ This is an engaging program that I anticipate enjoying after a taxing day of work and study. Furthermore, this program contributes to our family’s enhanced togetherness and happiness. These aspects consistently bring the show ‘Hai Ngày Một Đêm’ to mind when queried about my preferred television program. I am confident that everyone will derive enjoyment from watching this program. Therefore, I encourage you to view it, not only to gain insights into various regions but also as an opportunity for familial gatherings. As the new year approaches, I extend warm wishes to everyone for a joyful Tết celebration with relatives and friends.

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