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Describe a job you think interests people You should say: What it is When you started concerning about this job How you can find this job

Describe a job you think interests people

You should say:

What it is
When you started concerning about this job
How you can find this job

In recent years, influencers has piqued considerable interest. The influencers utilize social media to amass engagement for various purpose such as promoting services, products or sharing their experiences and opinions. We call them Content Creators.
I started becoming intrigued by this job when i notice the growing impact of social media in daily life, especially when i was pregnant. I considered parenting topics on internet and join many group had a huge engagement rates which created by quality content, that was the factor impressed large numbers of audiences. Generally speaking, it became a powerful tool for communication and marketing.
Becoming an influencer often begins with crafting content on online platform such as Facebook, Youtube, Instagram or Tiktok through images, videos, articles, podcasts…As you content gains freshness, honesty and uniqueness leads your following grows, that opens opportunity for brand partnership and sponsored posts emerge.
In my opinion, the factors that make this profession appealing to many people are creativity and freedom in work, they can communicate and interact with online communities which helps them have income potential from creating quality content. Besides, that is a career path for them to pursue their personal passion.
In my opinion, the factors that make this profession appealing to many people are creativity and freedom in work, they can communicate and interact with online communities which helps them have income potential from creating quality content. Besides, that is a career path for them to pursue their personal passion.
Yet, being an influencer poses challenges like preserving authenticity, handling public scrutiny, stay relevant in a competitive field. Still, content creator is attracted by their valuing creativity, self-expression, and the chance to make a digital-age impact.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "influencers has" -> "influencers have"
    Explanation: "Has" is the third-person singular form of the verb, which doesn’t agree with the plural subject "influencers." Replacing it with "have" ensures subject-verb agreement.

  2. "amass engagement for various purpose" -> "amass engagement for various purposes"
    Explanation: "Purpose" should be plural to match the context of engaging with audiences for different reasons. Changing it to "purposes" corrects this agreement error.

  3. "Content Creators" -> "content creators"
    Explanation: Capitalizing "Content Creators" is unnecessary; using lowercase maintains consistency and conforms to standard style conventions.

  4. "i notice" -> "I noticed"
    Explanation: Capitalizing "I" and changing "notice" to past tense ("noticed") ensures grammatical correctness and maintains the formal tone required in academic writing.

  5. "join many group" -> "join many groups"
    Explanation: "Group" should be plural to indicate joining multiple groups, so "groups" is the correct form.

  6. "engagement rates which created by quality content" -> "engagement rates created by quality content"
    Explanation: Removing "which" improves the sentence’s clarity and flow. The phrase "engagement rates created by quality content" is more concise and direct.

  7. "Generally speaking," -> (Omit)
    Explanation: "Generally speaking" is a filler phrase that doesn’t add substantive meaning to the sentence. Removing it streamlines the text without losing any essential information.

  8. "Becoming an influencer often begins with crafting content on online platform" -> "Becoming an influencer often starts with creating content on online platforms"
    Explanation: Using "starts" instead of "begins" enhances the sentence’s clarity and readability. "Platforms" should be plural to match the idea of utilizing various online channels.

  9. "As you content gains freshness" -> "As your content gains freshness"
    Explanation: Correcting the possessive form from "you" to "your" ensures grammatical accuracy. "Your" indicates possession by the subject, aligning with standard English usage.

  10. "uniqueness leads your following grows" -> "uniqueness leads to the growth of your following"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and coherence. The original phrase lacks proper syntax and clarity; the revised version presents the idea more clearly.

  11. "emerge" -> "emerges"
    Explanation: "Emerges" agrees with the singular subject "brand partnership," ensuring subject-verb agreement.

  12. "In my opinion," -> (Omit)
    Explanation: In academic writing, it’s generally understood that the statements represent the author’s viewpoint, so phrases like "In my opinion" are often unnecessary and can be omitted for conciseness.

  13. "factors that make this profession appealing to many people are creativity and freedom in work" -> "factors that contribute to the appeal of this profession include creativity and freedom in work"
    Explanation: Rephrasing for clarity and precision. "Contribute to the appeal" is a more formal and precise expression than "make appealing," and "include" provides a smoother transition to list the factors.

  14. "Yet," -> (Omit)
    Explanation: The use of "Yet" as a conjunction is unnecessary in this context and can be omitted without affecting the meaning or flow of the sentence.

  15. "poses challenges like" -> "poses challenges such as"
    Explanation: "Such as" is more appropriate than "like" in formal writing when introducing examples. It maintains the academic tone and clarity of expression.

  16. "Still," -> (Omit)
    Explanation: Similar to "Yet," "Still" is unnecessary and can be omitted without losing clarity or coherence in the sentence.

  17. "content creator" -> "content creators"
    Explanation: Maintaining consistency with plural subjects throughout the text by using "creators" instead of "creator."

  18. "attracted by their valuing" -> "attracted by their appreciation of"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and coherence. "Appreciation of" better conveys the idea of valuing creativity and self-expression in the context of being attracted to the profession.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It identifies the job of an influencer/content creator, discusses the author’s interest in this job, and explains how one can find this job.
    • How to improve: While the essay covers all parts of the question, providing more specific details about how one can find a job as an influencer/content creator could enhance the comprehensiveness of the response. For instance, mentioning online platforms where individuals can start building their presence or discussing networking strategies within the industry could enrich the explanation.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, presenting the job of an influencer/content creator as an appealing career choice due to its creative freedom, income potential, and alignment with personal passions.
    • How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, ensure that each paragraph consistently reinforces the positive aspects of the influencer/content creator profession. Additionally, avoid repeating identical phrases or sentences, as seen in the essay’s repetition of "In my opinion, the factors that make this profession appealing to many people are…"
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas about the influencer/content creator job and extends them with examples such as the growth of social media and the process of becoming an influencer. However, some ideas lack depth and could benefit from further elaboration.
    • How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, provide more specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate the challenges and rewards of being an influencer/content creator. Additionally, delve deeper into the impact of social media on society and how it has influenced the popularity of this profession.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the job of an influencer/content creator and related aspects such as its appeal, challenges, and opportunities.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, avoid repetition of ideas and ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the topic of the influencer/content creator profession. Additionally, refine transitions between ideas to create a smoother flow of discussion.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position, there is room for improvement in providing more detailed explanations, avoiding repetition, and enhancing the development of ideas. By incorporating these suggestions, the essay could achieve an even higher band score for Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally organizes information logically, starting with an introduction to the concept of influencers and content creators. However, there are some instances where the flow could be improved. For example, the repetition of the same sentence towards the end detracts from the overall coherence.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider restructuring sentences and paragraphs to avoid redundancy. Additionally, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, maintaining a clear progression of ideas.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively to separate different aspects of the discussion, such as the definition of influencers, the process of becoming one, and the challenges associated with the profession. However, some paragraphs could be more focused and coherent.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure each paragraph addresses a single main idea or aspect of the topic. Transition between paragraphs should be seamless to maintain a coherent flow of information.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to connect ideas and maintain coherence. For example, phrases like "In my opinion" and "Yet" help signal shifts in thought. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the range of cohesive devices used.
    • How to improve: Expand the use of cohesive devices beyond basic transitional phrases to include pronouns, conjunctions, and other linking words. This will help strengthen the connections between sentences and paragraphs, improving overall cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of coherence and cohesion, there are opportunities for improvement in terms of eliminating redundancy, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying the range of cohesive devices used. By implementing these suggestions, the essay can achieve a higher level of clarity and coherence, contributing to a more effective communication of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary related to the topic of influencers and content creation. The author uses terms such as "influencers," "Content Creators," "brand partnership," "sponsored posts," "creativity," "freedom in work," "authenticity," "self-expression," and "digital-age impact." However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the vocabulary further to avoid repetition and enhance precision.
    • How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer can incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary related to social media, marketing, digital content creation, and career pursuits. Using synonyms and exploring related terms can enrich the vocabulary. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "influencer," consider alternatives like "social media influencer," "online content creator," or "digital marketer." Additionally, integrating specific terminology related to different social media platforms and strategies for content creation could elevate the lexical range.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally utilizes vocabulary precisely, such as "social media," "brand partnership," and "digital-age impact." However, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "engagement for various purpose" (purposes), "I considered parenting topics on internet" (online parenting topics), and "join many group had a huge engagement rates" (joining many groups with high engagement rates). These instances detract slightly from the overall precision of the vocabulary.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, it’s essential to pay attention to the specificity of the vocabulary used. Instead of general terms like "various purpose," strive for clarity by specifying the purposes explicitly, such as "promotional purposes" or "informational purposes." Moreover, refine sentence structure to avoid awkward phrasing, as seen in "join many group had a huge engagement rates." A more precise formulation could be "joining multiple groups with substantial engagement rates." Proofreading for such nuances can significantly improve the precision of vocabulary usage.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of correct and incorrect spelling. For example, "influencers" and "authenticity" are spelled correctly, while "influencers has" should be "influencers have" and "crafting content on online platform" should be "crafting content on online platforms." While the errors do not significantly impede comprehension, consistent attention to spelling accuracy is necessary to maintain professionalism.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling and grammar checkers as a preliminary step. Additionally, thorough proofreading and revision are crucial to catch spelling errors, especially those related to common grammatical rules and word forms. Developing a habit of reviewing written work systematically for spelling accuracy can lead to significant improvement over time.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, simple sentences like "Becoming an influencer often begins with crafting content on online platforms" are used alongside compound sentences such as "In recent years, influencers have piqued considerable interest, and they utilize social media to amass engagement for various purposes." Additionally, complex sentences like "I started becoming intrigued by this job when I noticed the growing impact of social media in daily life, especially when I was pregnant" are utilized to convey more complex ideas.
    • How to improve: While the essay demonstrates an adequate range of sentence structures, incorporating more complex sentence structures can enhance the fluency and sophistication of the writing. Introducing subordinate clauses, relative clauses, and conditional sentences can add depth and complexity to the essay’s structure. For instance, instead of solely using coordinating conjunctions for compound sentences, incorporating subordinating conjunctions to create complex sentences can elevate the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally accurate use of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and punctuation inconsistencies throughout the essay. For example, the sentence "The influencers utilize social media to amass engagement for various purpose such as promoting services, products or sharing their experiences and opinions" contains subject-verb agreement issues ("purpose" should be plural, "purposes"), and the lack of parallel structure in the list creates awkwardness. Additionally, punctuation errors such as missing commas after introductory phrases ("In recent years," "Generally speaking,") and inconsistent capitalization ("Youtube" should be capitalized as "YouTube") detract from the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation consistency, thorough proofreading and revision are essential. Paying close attention to subject-verb agreement, parallel structure, and punctuation rules can help eliminate errors and enhance the clarity of the writing. Utilizing grammar-checking tools and seeking feedback from peers or instructors can also aid in identifying and correcting grammatical and punctuation mistakes. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with standard conventions of grammar and punctuation, such as comma usage, capitalization rules, and sentence structure, can contribute to overall improvement in writing proficiency.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, influencers have garnered considerable interest. These influencers utilize social media to amass engagement for various purposes, such as promoting services, products, or sharing their experiences and opinions. We often refer to them as content creators.

I began to notice this job when I observed the growing impact of social media in daily life, particularly during my pregnancy. Exploring parenting topics online, I joined many groups with high engagement rates created by quality content, which impressed large numbers of audiences. Generally speaking, social media has become a powerful tool for communication and marketing.

Becoming an influencer often starts with creating content on online platforms such as Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, or TikTok. Through images, videos, articles, podcasts, and more, individuals craft their content. As your content gains freshness, honesty, and uniqueness, your following grows, opening opportunities for brand partnerships and sponsored posts.

The factors that contribute to the appeal of this profession include creativity and freedom in work. Influencers can communicate and interact with online communities, which helps them generate income potential from creating quality content. Moreover, it serves as a career path for individuals to pursue their personal passions.

However, being an influencer poses challenges such as preserving authenticity, handling public scrutiny, and staying relevant in a competitive field. Despite these challenges, content creators are attracted by their appreciation of creativity, self-expression, and the chance to make a digital-age impact.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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