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describe a meal that you like to eat

describe a meal that you like to eat

The meal I that I would like to describe is called Pho which is a popular dish in Viet Nam . this is a type of national dish
Pho is made with some ingedients such as beff, broth ,rice noodle as well as when the people want to your dish tasty they need to add some spices like fish sauce,food colorants, spring onion. Pho is very famous dish in Viet Nam because it is a dish straighforward and easy to eat in the morning. And it is a dish I and young people very love because its convinience and affordable . Furthermore they can have nutritious and full of enregy for part time of the day
when the visitor traveling in Viet Nam Pho is the must try because it is a also a staple food that can be find in almost every corner of street vendors to high-end restaurant


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The meal I that I would like to describe" -> "The dish I would like to describe"
    Explanation: The phrase "The meal I that I" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. Simplifying it to "The dish I would like to describe" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances readability.

  2. "is called Pho which is a popular dish in Viet Nam" -> "is known as Pho, a popular dish in Vietnam"
    Explanation: "is called" is somewhat informal and vague; "is known as" is more precise and formal. Also, "Viet Nam" should be "Vietnam" in formal writing.

  3. "this is a type of national dish" -> "this is a national dish"
    Explanation: The phrase "a type of national dish" is redundant. Simplifying it to "a national dish" removes redundancy and maintains clarity.

  4. "ingedients" -> "ingredients"
    Explanation: "Ingedients" is a spelling error; "ingredients" is the correct term.

  5. "beff" -> "beef"
    Explanation: "Beff" is a spelling error; "beef" is the correct term.

  6. "broth,rice noodle" -> "broth and rice noodles"
    Explanation: "broth,rice noodle" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Broth and rice noodles" corrects the punctuation and pluralizes "noodle" for grammatical accuracy.

  7. "when the people want to your dish tasty" -> "to make the dish more flavorful"
    Explanation: "when the people want to your dish tasty" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "To make the dish more flavorful" is grammatically correct and more formal.

  8. "food colorants" -> "food coloring"
    Explanation: "Food colorants" is not a standard term; "food coloring" is the correct term.

  9. "Pho is very famous dish in Viet Nam" -> "Pho is a very famous dish in Vietnam"
    Explanation: "Pho is very famous dish in Viet Nam" is grammatically incorrect. Correcting to "Pho is a very famous dish in Vietnam" fixes the article and capitalization errors.

  10. "straighforward" -> "straightforward"
    Explanation: "Straighforward" is a spelling error; "straightforward" is the correct term.

  11. "easy to eat in the morning" -> "convenient for breakfast"
    Explanation: "Easy to eat in the morning" is vague and informal. "Convenient for breakfast" is more specific and formal.

  12. "I and young people very love" -> "I and young people love"
    Explanation: "Very" is redundant after "love." Removing it corrects the redundancy.

  13. "convinience" -> "convenience"
    Explanation: "Convinience" is a spelling error; "convenience" is the correct term.

  14. "enregy" -> "energy"
    Explanation: "Enregy" is a spelling error; "energy" is the correct term.

  15. "part time of the day" -> "part of the day"
    Explanation: "Part time of the day" is incorrect; "part of the day" is the correct phrase.

  16. "when the visitor traveling in Viet Nam" -> "when visitors travel in Vietnam"
    Explanation: "When the visitor traveling in Viet Nam" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "When visitors travel in Vietnam" corrects the subject-verb agreement and capitalization.

  17. "is the must try" -> "is a must-try"
    Explanation: "Is the must try" is grammatically incorrect. "Is a must-try" corrects the grammatical structure and adds the hyphen necessary for the compound adjective.

  18. "also a staple food that can be find" -> "also a staple food that can be found"
    Explanation: "Can be find" is grammatically incorrect. "Can be found" corrects the verb form to match the passive voice.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to describe a meal, specifically Pho, which is appropriate given the prompt. However, it lacks depth in addressing various aspects of the dish, such as its cultural significance, preparation methods, or personal experiences associated with eating it. For instance, while it mentions that Pho is a national dish and lists some ingredients, it does not elaborate on what makes it special or memorable to the writer.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should include more details about the meal’s history, its importance in Vietnamese culture, and personal anecdotes related to enjoying Pho. This could involve describing a specific occasion when the dish was enjoyed, or detailing the flavors and textures that make it appealing.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a general appreciation for Pho but lacks a strong, clear position. Phrases like "Pho is very famous" and "it is a dish I and young people very love" are vague and do not convey a strong personal stance. The essay also shifts between general statements about the dish and personal opinions without a clear transition.
    • How to improve: The writer should establish a clear thesis statement early in the essay that reflects their personal feelings about Pho. Consistently referring back to this position throughout the essay will help maintain clarity. Using phrases like "I believe" or "In my experience" can help solidify the personal connection to the dish.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas about Pho but does not adequately extend or support them. For example, while it mentions that Pho is nutritious and affordable, it does not explain why these qualities matter or how they enhance the dining experience. The ideas presented feel somewhat disjointed and lack a logical flow.
    • How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to develop each idea more fully. This could involve providing examples or comparisons, such as discussing how Pho compares to other meals in terms of nutrition or cost. Structuring the essay with clear topic sentences and supporting details will also help in presenting and extending ideas effectively.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by focusing on Pho, but it occasionally veers into vague statements that dilute the main focus. For example, the mention of "street vendors to high-end restaurant" is somewhat off-topic and could be better integrated into a discussion about the accessibility of Pho.
    • How to improve: The writer should ensure that every sentence contributes to the main topic of describing Pho. This can be achieved by avoiding generalizations that do not directly relate to the dish itself. Keeping the focus on personal experiences and specific characteristics of Pho will help maintain relevance throughout the essay.

Overall, to improve the essay and achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim for greater depth and clarity in their descriptions, ensure a consistent personal stance, develop and support their ideas more thoroughly, and maintain a tight focus on the topic throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents information about Pho in a somewhat logical manner, starting with an introduction to the dish and then discussing its ingredients and popularity. However, the flow is disrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear transitions between ideas. For instance, the jump from discussing ingredients to the popularity of Pho is abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of thoughts.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using a clear structure: an introduction, body paragraphs focusing on specific aspects (ingredients, preparation, cultural significance), and a conclusion. Transition phrases such as "Firstly," "In addition," and "Finally" can help guide the reader through the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which makes it challenging to identify distinct sections. All ideas are presented in a single block of text, leading to confusion about where one point ends and another begins. For example, the discussion about ingredients and the popularity of Pho are jumbled together without any paragraph breaks.
    • How to improve: Implementing clear paragraph breaks is essential. Start a new paragraph when introducing a new idea or aspect of Pho. For instance, one paragraph could focus on the ingredients, another on its cultural significance, and a third on why it is popular among young people. This will help the reader digest the information more easily.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "as well as" and "because," but these are limited and often misused, leading to awkward sentences. For example, "Pho is very famous dish in Viet Nam because it is a dish straighforward and easy to eat in the morning" lacks clarity and proper connectors.
    • How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, diversify the types of connectors used. Incorporate words and phrases like "Moreover," "In contrast," "Additionally," and "For instance" to create smoother transitions between sentences and ideas. Practicing the use of these devices in context will help in achieving a more cohesive essay.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear topic, the lack of logical organization, effective paragraphing, and diverse cohesive devices contributes to a lower band score. Focusing on these areas will significantly enhance the coherence and cohesion of future essays.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary related to the topic of food, such as "Pho," "broth," "rice noodle," and "spices." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the phrase "a dish" is used multiple times, which detracts from the overall richness of the language. Additionally, terms like "national dish" and "staple food" are appropriate but could be expanded with more varied synonyms or descriptive phrases.
    • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider incorporating more descriptive adjectives and synonyms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "dish," you could use "cuisine," "meal," or "delicacy." Additionally, consider adding phrases that evoke sensory experiences, such as "aromatic spices" or "savory broth," to create a more vivid picture for the reader.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "food colorants," which may not accurately convey the intended meaning in the context of Pho. The phrase "when the people want to your dish tasty" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Furthermore, "full of energy for part time of the day" is awkwardly phrased and could be misinterpreted.
    • How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the intended meaning. For example, instead of "food colorants," you might say "seasonings" or "flavor enhancers." Ensure grammatical structures are correct; for instance, revise "when the people want to your dish tasty" to "when people want to enhance the flavor of their dish." This will improve clarity and precision in your writing.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "ingedients" (ingredients), "beff" (beef), "convinience" (convenience), "enregy" (energy), and "straighforward" (straightforward). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall quality of the essay.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, it is essential to proofread your work carefully. Consider using spell-check tools or writing practice exercises that focus on commonly misspelled words. Additionally, practicing writing vocabulary lists and their correct spellings can help reinforce memory and accuracy.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, improving precision, and enhancing spelling accuracy—the overall quality of the essay can be significantly improved, potentially leading to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay primarily employs simple sentence structures, such as "Pho is made with some ingredients" and "Pho is very famous dish in Viet Nam." While there are attempts to use compound structures, such as "when the visitor traveling in Viet Nam Pho is the must try," the overall variety is limited. The lack of complex sentences diminishes the overall sophistication of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice incorporating complex sentences that combine independent and dependent clauses. For example, instead of saying, "Pho is very famous dish in Viet Nam," the writer could say, "Pho is a very famous dish in Viet Nam, known for its rich flavors and cultural significance." Additionally, using varied sentence openings and transitions can help create a more engaging narrative.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For instance, "the meal I that I would like to describe" should be corrected to "the meal that I would like to describe." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "Pho is very famous dish" (should be "a very famous dish"). Punctuation errors include missing commas, such as in the phrase "Pho is made with some ingredients such as beff, broth ,rice noodle," where there should be a space after the comma and before "rice noodle."
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and article usage. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify these concepts. For punctuation, the writer should pay attention to the placement of commas, especially in lists and before conjunctions. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify areas where punctuation is needed or where sentences may be unclear.

Overall, while the essay conveys a clear message about the writer’s favorite meal, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The meal I would like to describe is known as Pho, a popular dish in Vietnam. This is a national dish that many people cherish.

Pho is made with several ingredients, such as beef, broth, and rice noodles. To make the dish more flavorful, people often add spices like fish sauce, foodcoloring, and spring onions. Pho is a very famous dish in Vietnam because it is straightforward and convenient for breakfast. Young people, including myself, love it due to its convenience and affordability. Furthermore, it provides nutritious energy for this part of the day.

When visitors travel in Vietnam, Pho is a must-try, as it is also a staple food that can be found in almost every corner, from street vendors to high-end restaurants.

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