Despite better access to education, many adults today are still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?
Despite better access to education, many adults today are still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?
There are still a large number of adults unable to read or write inspite of better access to education. These people have to face numerous challenges in their life, so the government should has suitable solutions for this issue.
Individuals who lack of literacy skills face several problems in their lives. Firstly, they have less job opportunities than others, as many companies require university certificates or a basic literacy foundation. In this way, these disadvantages might influence on their living standards with low-paid jobs. For example, in Africa, both youngsters and adults do not have better educational accessibilities,that leads to a cycle of poverty in most families. As a result, they have to work harder than those who can read and write. Secondly, they are struggle with everyday tasks and access news. This because of their limited literacy skills restricts them to read newspapers or use technological equipments such as smartphones or televisions. In addition, they also cannot implement laws in their country in a right way and they have to depend on other individuals. That may cause an inconvenience to people who are around them.
These problems should be solved by practical measures of the government. Firstly, the state should open free classes in order to easily approach to adults who have limited literacy skills. Through these free study programs, poor people can gain basic knowledge and essential skills to look for stable jobs. For instance, they can go to work in the morning and then, back home to have classes. Secondly, the government should call for teachers in different places to teach these individuals as well as invest more amenities which support their study such as bookstores or libraries.
In conclusion, lacking literacy skills cause many drawbacks in their professional lives, so the government should create more opportunities and better conditions for their poor citizens in different fields.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"There are still a large number of adults unable to read or write inspite of better access to education." -> "Despite improved access to education, a significant number of adults remain unable to read or write."
Explanation: The phrase "inspite of" is incorrect; "despite" is the correct preposition to use in this context. Also, "a large number" is somewhat vague; "a significant number" is more precise and formal. -
"the government should has suitable solutions" -> "the government should have suitable solutions"
Explanation: "has" is incorrect in this context; "have" is the correct verb form to use with "should" in this conditional construction. -
"Individuals who lack of literacy skills" -> "Individuals lacking literacy skills"
Explanation: "lack of" is grammatically incorrect in this context; "lacking" is the correct adjectival form. -
"they have less job opportunities than others" -> "they have fewer job opportunities than others"
Explanation: "less" is incorrect when referring to countable nouns like "job opportunities"; "fewer" is the correct quantifier. -
"might influence on their living standards" -> "may influence their living standards"
Explanation: "influence on" is grammatically incorrect; "influence" is the correct prepositionless form. -
"do not have better educational accessibilities" -> "lack better educational accessibility"
Explanation: "accessibilities" is incorrect; "accessibility" is the singular form needed here. -
"they are struggle with everyday tasks and access news" -> "they struggle with everyday tasks and accessing news"
Explanation: "struggle with" should be a single word "struggle" for grammatical correctness, and "access news" should be "accessing news" for correct gerund form. -
"This because of their limited literacy skills restricts them" -> "This is because their limited literacy skills restrict them"
Explanation: "This because" is grammatically incorrect; "This is because" is the correct conjunction. -
"they also cannot implement laws in their country in a right way" -> "they also cannot implement laws in their country correctly"
Explanation: "in a right way" is informal and redundant; "correctly" is more concise and formal. -
"That may cause an inconvenience to people who are around them" -> "This may cause inconvenience to those around them"
Explanation: "That" is incorrect; "This" refers back to the preceding clause. "people who are around them" is awkward; "those around them" is more direct and formal. -
"the state should open free classes" -> "the government should establish free classes"
Explanation: "the state" is less formal than "the government," which is more appropriate for an academic context. -
"easily approach to adults" -> "easily accessible to adults"
Explanation: "easily approach to" is grammatically incorrect; "easily accessible to" is the correct phrase. -
"poor people can gain basic knowledge and essential skills" -> "these individuals can acquire basic knowledge and essential skills"
Explanation: "poor people" is too informal and vague; "these individuals" is more precise and respectful. -
"they can go to work in the morning and then, back home to have classes" -> "they can attend work in the morning and then return home for classes"
Explanation: "go to work" and "back home to have classes" are informal and awkward; "attend work" and "return home for classes" are more formal and clear. -
"the government should call for teachers in different places to teach these individuals" -> "the government should recruit teachers to instruct these individuals in various locations"
Explanation: "call for" is vague and informal; "recruit" is more precise and formal, and "instruct" is more appropriate than "teach" in this context.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the first part of the prompt by outlining the disadvantages faced by adults who cannot read or write. It identifies specific challenges such as limited job opportunities and difficulties in daily tasks, which are relevant to the question. However, the second part of the prompt, which asks what governments can do to help, is somewhat addressed but lacks depth in the proposed solutions. For example, while the essay suggests opening free classes and calling for teachers, it does not elaborate on how these measures could be implemented or their potential impact.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide more detailed and specific suggestions for government action. This could include discussing potential partnerships with NGOs, the incorporation of technology in teaching, or community outreach programs to raise awareness about literacy initiatives.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that emphasizes the importance of addressing adult literacy issues. The writer consistently argues that these individuals face significant disadvantages and that the government has a role in mitigating these challenges. However, there are moments where the phrasing could be clearer, such as "the government should has suitable solutions," which contains grammatical errors that may confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should ensure grammatical accuracy and use straightforward language. Additionally, reinforcing the main argument in each paragraph’s concluding sentence can help maintain a strong position throughout the essay.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the disadvantages of illiteracy and the government’s potential solutions. For instance, the mention of job opportunities and daily life challenges are relevant and supported by examples. However, some ideas are not fully extended; for example, the mention of "technological equipment" could be expanded to discuss how digital literacy is increasingly important in today’s job market.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each point made. This could involve providing more examples or statistics to support claims, as well as exploring the implications of illiteracy in various contexts (e.g., economic, social, and political).
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the disadvantages of illiteracy and the government’s role in addressing these issues. However, there are minor deviations, such as the reference to Africa, which, while relevant, could be more specifically tied to the overall argument rather than presented as a standalone example.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all examples directly support the main argument. When introducing examples, it would be beneficial to explain their relevance to the overall discussion on adult literacy and government intervention.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, there is room for improvement in depth, clarity, and focus. By elaborating on solutions, ensuring grammatical accuracy, and providing more detailed examples, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively outlines the issue of adult illiteracy and hints at the government’s role in addressing it. Each body paragraph addresses specific disadvantages faced by illiterate adults and proposes solutions, maintaining a logical progression of ideas. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the job market challenges, while the second focuses on daily life struggles. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother; for example, the shift from discussing job opportunities to everyday tasks feels abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that link ideas more explicitly. For example, after discussing job opportunities, a phrase like "In addition to employment challenges, illiterate adults also face difficulties in their daily lives" could create a more seamless transition. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea will help guide the reader through the argument.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph discusses the disadvantages of illiteracy, while the second presents potential solutions. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided into two separate paragraphs: one for the proposal of free classes and another for the call for more teachers and resources. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each solution.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and sufficient supporting details. When introducing a new solution or aspect, consider starting a new paragraph. This not only enhances clarity but also allows for more detailed explanations of each point.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "In addition," and "For example," which help to structure the argument and guide the reader. However, there are instances where cohesive devices are either overused or misused, such as "This because of their limited literacy skills restricts them" which lacks clarity and coherence. Additionally, the use of "that" in "that leads to a cycle of poverty" could be improved for better grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Moreover," "Consequently," or "On the other hand," to indicate contrasting ideas. Additionally, ensure grammatical accuracy by revising sentences for clarity. For example, rephrasing "This because of their limited literacy skills restricts them" to "This is due to their limited literacy skills, which restrict their ability to read newspapers or use technology" would improve clarity and coherence.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments. By focusing on improving transitions, refining paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the writer can enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay, potentially raising the band score further.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "literacy skills," "job opportunities," and "cycle of poverty." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or lacks variation, such as the repeated use of "adults" and "literacy skills." The phrase "better access to education" is also somewhat generic and could be expressed in more varied terms.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more specific terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "adults," consider using "individuals," "grown-ups," or "mature learners." Additionally, phrases like "educational opportunities" or "learning resources" could replace "better access to education" to add variety.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are notable inaccuracies. For instance, the phrase "the government should has suitable solutions" is grammatically incorrect, as "should" should be followed by the base form "have." Additionally, "struggle with everyday tasks" could be more accurately expressed as "struggle to perform everyday tasks." The phrase "this because of their limited literacy skills restricts them" is also awkwardly constructed and lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity in expression. Revising sentences for grammatical correctness and ensuring that phrases convey the intended meaning without ambiguity will enhance precision. For example, changing "this because of their limited literacy skills restricts them" to "this is due to their limited literacy skills, which restrict their ability to read newspapers and use technology" would clarify the meaning.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "inspite" (should be "in spite"), "equipments" (should be "equipment," as it is an uncountable noun), and "approach to adults" (should be "approach adults"). These mistakes detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or flashcards to reinforce correct spellings. Additionally, proofreading the essay before submission can help catch and correct spelling errors. Reading widely can also improve spelling through exposure to correctly spelled words in context.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource. Focusing on these areas will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of "Individuals who lack of literacy skills face several problems in their lives" showcases a complex structure. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that detract from the overall effectiveness, such as "the government should has suitable solutions" (which should be "should have") and "they are struggle with everyday tasks" (which should be "they struggle"). The essay also relies heavily on basic sentence forms and lacks more sophisticated structures, such as conditional or inversion forms, which could enhance the complexity of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice incorporating a mix of complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For example, instead of saying "These people have to face numerous challenges in their life," the writer could say, "Although these individuals have better access to education, they still face numerous challenges in their lives." Additionally, using a variety of conjunctions and transitions can help create more complex sentence structures and improve the flow of ideas.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity and coherence. For example, "in spite of better access to education" is misspelled as "inspite," and the phrase "lack of literacy skills" should simply be "lack literacy skills." Punctuation errors include missing commas, such as in "accessibilities,that leads to a cycle of poverty," where a space is needed after the comma. Additionally, the phrase "This because of their limited literacy skills restricts them" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "This is because their limited literacy skills restrict them." These errors indicate a need for greater attention to grammatical rules and punctuation conventions.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should review the rules of subject-verb agreement and the correct use of verb forms. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly focusing on common errors, would be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring proper sentence structure before submission can help improve clarity. Reading more academic texts can also provide examples of correct grammar and punctuation usage, which can be emulated in the writer’s own work.
Overall, while the essay presents relevant ideas and arguments, addressing these grammatical and structural issues will significantly enhance its clarity and effectiveness, potentially leading to a higher band score.
Bài sửa mẫu
There are still a large number of adults unable to read or write despite better access to education. These people have to face numerous challenges in their lives, so the government should have suitable solutions for this issue.
Individuals who lack literacy skills face several problems in their lives. Firstly, they have fewer job opportunities than others, as many companies require university certificates or a basic literacy foundation. In this way, these disadvantages may influence their living standards with low-paid jobs. For example, in Africa, both youngsters and adults do not have better educational accessibility, which leads to a cycle of poverty in most families. As a result, they have to work harder than those who can read and write. Secondly, they struggle with everyday tasks and accessing news. This is because their limited literacy skills restrict them from reading newspapers or using technological equipment such as smartphones or televisions. In addition, they also cannot implement laws in their country correctly, and they have to depend on other individuals. This may cause inconvenience to those around them.
These problems should be solved by practical measures from the government. Firstly, the state should establish free classes that are easily accessible to adults who have limited literacy skills. Through these free study programs, poor people can acquire basic knowledge and essential skills to look for stable jobs. For instance, they can go to work in the morning and then return home for classes. Secondly, the government should recruit teachers to instruct these individuals in various locations, as well as invest more amenities that support their study, such as bookstores or libraries.
In conclusion, lacking literacy skills causes many drawbacks in their professional lives, so the government should create more opportunities and better conditions for their disadvantaged citizens in different fields.