Despite better access to education, many adults today still can not read or write. In what ways are they disadvan-taged? What can governments do to help them?

Education has the power to change the world. There have been significant improvements in opportunities to learn, despite which millions of children attain adulthood unequipped with basic reading and writing skills. Being illiterate impacts the earning capacity of individuals and their self-esteem. In order to address these problems, the Government's primary focus should be on having a comprehensive adult literacy program in place.

Among the numerous problems that illiterate adults face, the most significant one is the struggle to get jobs that pay well because of which they are confined to low-paying jobs which leaves them incapable of providing for their own families. Furthermore, the inability to perform simple tasks like reading a restaurant menu or a train schedule impacts their daily living as well. For instance, It impacts their ability to process information and make informed decisions and also makes them more susceptible to exploitation.

To counter these issues associated with adult illiteracy, it is imperative for Governments to establish literacy programs to provide quality education to uneducated adults. The program focus should be on providing not only functional literacy but also vocational training, to equip individuals with the necessary skills for being gainfully employed. Furthermore, the program should include teacher support as one of its key objectives. For instance, ensuring that teachers are well trained and equipped with the requisite knowledge and skill sets and supporting them with all the necessary resources is vital to the success of such a program.

In conclusion, Governments can pave the way for a literate society through adult education initiatives to address the issue of adult illiteracy which exists despite the great strides made in the field of education worldwide.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"There have been significant improvements in opportunities to learn" -> "There have been substantial advancements in educational opportunities"
Explanation: Replacing "significant improvements in opportunities to learn" with "substantial advancements in educational opportunities" refines the phrase by using more precise and formal vocabulary, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"millions of children attain adulthood unequipped with basic reading and writing skills" -> "millions of children reach adulthood without basic literacy skills"
Explanation: Changing "unequipped with basic reading and writing skills" to "without basic literacy skills" simplifies and clarifies the phrase, making it more direct and appropriate for an academic context.
"Being illiterate impacts the earning capacity of individuals and their self-esteem" -> "Illiteracy affects individuals’ earning capacity and self-esteem"
Explanation: Replacing "Being illiterate impacts" with "Illiteracy affects" corrects the grammatical structure and uses a more formal term, enhancing the precision and formality of the statement.
"the Government’s primary focus should be on having a comprehensive adult literacy program in place" -> "the government should prioritize establishing a comprehensive adult literacy program"
Explanation: Changing "the Government’s primary focus should be on having" to "the government should prioritize establishing" streamlines the sentence and uses more direct and formal language suitable for an academic essay.
"the struggle to get jobs that pay well" -> "the challenge of securing well-paying employment"
Explanation: Replacing "the struggle to get jobs that pay well" with "the challenge of securing well-paying employment" uses more formal vocabulary and a more precise expression, enhancing the academic tone.
"which leaves them incapable of providing for their own families" -> "rendering them unable to support their families"
Explanation: Changing "which leaves them incapable of providing for their own families" to "rendering them unable to support their families" uses more formal language and avoids the contraction "which," aligning better with academic style.
"It impacts their ability to process information and make informed decisions" -> "This affects their capacity to process information and make informed decisions"
Explanation: Replacing "It impacts" with "This affects" clarifies the subject of the sentence, and "capacity" is a more formal term than "ability," improving the academic tone.
"makes them more susceptible to exploitation" -> "increases their vulnerability to exploitation"
Explanation: Changing "makes them more susceptible to" to "increases their vulnerability to" uses more precise and formal language, enhancing the academic quality of the statement.
"to provide quality education to uneducated adults" -> "to offer high-quality education to adult learners"
Explanation: Replacing "provide quality education to uneducated adults" with "offer high-quality education to adult learners" uses more precise and formal terminology, and "adult learners" is a more respectful and academically appropriate term than "unedited adults."
"teacher support as one of its key objectives" -> "teacher support as a primary objective"
Explanation: Changing "one of its key objectives" to "a primary objective" simplifies and clarifies the phrase, making it more direct and formal.
"ensuring that teachers are well trained and equipped with the requisite knowledge and skill sets" -> "ensuring that teachers are adequately trained and equipped with the necessary knowledge and skills"
Explanation: Replacing "well trained and equipped with the requisite knowledge and skill sets" with "adequately trained and equipped with the necessary knowledge and skills" uses more precise and formal language, enhancing the academic tone.
"pave the way for a literate society" -> "facilitate a literate society"
Explanation: Replacing "pave the way for" with "facilitate" uses a more formal and precise verb, aligning better with academic style.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies the disadvantages faced by illiterate adults, such as limited job opportunities and difficulties in daily tasks, which are articulated clearly in the first body paragraph. The second body paragraph outlines specific governmental actions, particularly the establishment of comprehensive literacy programs, which directly responds to the second part of the question. The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the issues at hand.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples or statistics to illustrate the extent of adult illiteracy and its impact on society. Additionally, discussing other potential government initiatives, such as community outreach programs or partnerships with NGOs, could provide a more rounded answer.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that emphasizes the importance of government intervention in addressing adult illiteracy. The stance is consistent throughout, with each paragraph reinforcing the argument for comprehensive literacy programs. The use of phrases like "imperative for Governments" and "the Government’s primary focus should be" clearly signals the author’s perspective.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction that outlines both the disadvantages of illiteracy and the proposed solutions. This would provide a stronger framework for the reader and enhance the overall coherence of the argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents relevant ideas regarding the disadvantages of illiteracy and the proposed solutions. The discussion of the impact of illiteracy on job opportunities and daily tasks is well-developed. The suggestion for vocational training alongside functional literacy is a strong point, showing an extension of the initial idea. However, some ideas could be further supported with examples or evidence.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the author could provide specific examples of successful literacy programs from other countries or regions. Additionally, incorporating data or studies that highlight the benefits of adult literacy programs would strengthen the argument and provide a more robust support for the claims made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the issues of adult illiteracy and the role of government in mitigating these challenges. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and each paragraph contributes to the overall argument.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each point made directly ties back to the main question can enhance clarity. For instance, reiterating how each proposed solution directly addresses the disadvantages mentioned could create a tighter connection between the problems and the solutions offered.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument, meriting a band score of 8. With some enhancements in examples, explicit thesis framing, and tighter connections between points, it could reach an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by highlighting the issue of adult illiteracy and its implications. Each body paragraph addresses specific aspects of the problem and potential solutions, maintaining a logical flow. For example, the first body paragraph discusses the disadvantages faced by illiterate adults, while the second focuses on the government’s role in addressing these issues. However, the transition between the two body paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs. For instance, at the end of the first body paragraph, a sentence that links the disadvantages to the need for government intervention would create a more seamless transition. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence can help guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph has a distinct focus: the introduction outlines the issue, the first body paragraph discusses the disadvantages of illiteracy, and the second body paragraph proposes solutions. However, the second body paragraph could be further divided into smaller sections to enhance clarity, especially when discussing multiple aspects of the proposed literacy programs.
- How to improve: Consider breaking down the second body paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the importance of functional literacy and vocational training, and another on the significance of teacher support. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve the overall clarity of the argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "furthermore," "for instance," and "in conclusion," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of the essay. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "which leaves them incapable of providing for their own families" could be better integrated into the preceding sentence to enhance cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "additionally," "consequently," and "on the other hand." Furthermore, ensure that each cohesive device is used effectively by placing it in a context that clearly illustrates the relationship between ideas. For example, rephrasing sentences to explicitly show cause-and-effect relationships can enhance clarity and coherence.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, but there are opportunities for improvement in transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By addressing these areas, the essay could achieve a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic of adult illiteracy and education. Terms such as "illiterate," "comprehensive adult literacy program," and "vocational training" are appropriate and convey the intended meaning effectively. However, there are instances where the vocabulary could be more varied. For example, the phrase "low-paying jobs" is repeated, which could be replaced with synonyms like "underpaid positions" or "menial work" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate more synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. Utilizing a thesaurus to find alternative words for commonly used terms can help diversify the vocabulary. Additionally, including more advanced vocabulary related to education and social issues could elevate the essay’s overall quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments where the precision could be improved. For instance, the phrase "the inability to perform simple tasks like reading a restaurant menu or a train schedule" could be more effectively articulated by specifying the implications of these tasks, such as "the inability to navigate daily life" or "the challenges in accessing essential services." This would clarify the impact of illiteracy more precisely.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on context when choosing vocabulary. It is beneficial to think about the specific implications of the terms used and how they relate to the overall argument. Practicing paraphrasing and summarizing complex ideas in simpler terms can also help in selecting the most precise vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with only minor errors. However, there is a typographical error in "disadvan-taged," which should be corrected to "disadvantaged." Such errors can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission, focusing on commonly misspelled words and ensuring that all terms are spelled correctly. Utilizing spell-check tools or writing software can also help catch errors that may be overlooked during manual proofreading. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises can reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of vocabulary, there are opportunities for improvement in lexical diversity, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their writing and potentially achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences are effectively used, such as “Being illiterate impacts the earning capacity of individuals and their self-esteem,” which showcases the writer’s ability to convey multiple ideas within a single sentence. Additionally, the use of conditional structures like “if they are well trained” indicates a good grasp of grammatical complexity. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings, such as starting multiple sentences with “the” or “it,” which could limit the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use different grammatical forms, such as participial phrases or inversion. For example, instead of starting sentences with “the,” the writer might begin with adverbial clauses: “Despite the challenges, illiterate adults can still find support through government programs.” This would not only diversify the sentence structures but also improve the flow of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits strong grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For example, the phrase “the inability to perform simple tasks like reading a restaurant menu or a train schedule impacts their daily living” is grammatically correct and clear. However, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the capitalization of “It” in “For instance, It impacts their ability to process information,” which should be lowercase. Additionally, the use of commas could be improved for clarity, particularly in longer sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy and punctuation, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch capitalization errors and ensure that commas are used appropriately to separate clauses and list items. For example, in the sentence “the program focus should be on providing not only functional literacy but also vocational training,” a comma could be added before “but” to enhance readability. Practicing punctuation rules and reviewing common grammatical pitfalls can also help in achieving greater accuracy.

Overall, the essay is well-structured and demonstrates a high level of grammatical range and accuracy. With some minor adjustments in sentence variety and punctuation, the writer could further elevate the quality of their writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Education has the power to change the world. There have been significant improvements in opportunities to learn; despite this, millions of children reach adulthood unequipped with basic reading and writing skills. Being illiterate impacts individuals’ earning capacity and self-esteem. In order to address these problems, the government’s primary focus should be on establishing a comprehensive adult literacy program.

Among the numerous problems that illiterate adults face, the most significant one is the struggle to secure well-paying employment, which confines them to low-paying jobs, leaving them unable to support their families. Furthermore, the inability to perform simple tasks like reading a restaurant menu or a train schedule impacts their daily living as well. For instance, it affects their capacity to process information and make informed decisions, and also makes them more susceptible to exploitation.

To counter these issues associated with adult illiteracy, it is imperative for governments to establish literacy programs to offer high-quality education to uneducated adults. The program’s focus should be on providing not only functional literacy but also vocational training, to equip individuals with the necessary skills for being gainfully employed. Furthermore, the program should include teacher support as a primary objective. For instance, ensuring that teachers are adequately trained and equipped with the necessary knowledge and skills, and supporting them with all the necessary resources, is vital to the success of such a program.

In conclusion, governments can pave the way for a literate society through adult education initiatives to address the issue of adult illiteracy, which exists despite the great strides made in the field of education worldwide.