Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In light of globalization, education access has become available for residents around the world. However, there is a number of adults who still have difficulties in both reading and writing. Although this tendency is overshadowed by several drawbacks, viable solutions can be taken by the governments in order to solve this significant issues.
On the one hand, people who cannot read or write confront a wide range of challenges in various aspects of their lives. One of the most evident difficulties is employment opportunities as literacy is a fundamental requirement for many occupations. Some people without qualifications and certifications may lose their opportunities in promotion while lower literacy might lead to limited job prospects and lower income. Besides, adults who are not able to experience better education find doing paperwork is exceedingly hard. Nowadays, it is clearly evident that many jobs require ability to deal with forms and documents while it is the most struggling issues for individuals who cannot afford reading and writing skills.
On the other hand, governments should take responsibility in improving residents’ intellectual level. By establishing educational campaign and introducing supplementary classes to adults, this tendency can be well-solving. As people may find studying for long terms quite challenging, short-term supplementary classes should be brought out in order to help individuals enhance their basic skills such as reading and writing to apply for a sustainable job. Moreover, governments should prevent these global issues by providing young generations with better education. Teenagers and children are at suitable ages which is possible for them to strive for education and once global residents can access to high quality education, the intellectual level can be enhanced.
To conclude, many adults do not have good education access, leading to lower literacy in the amount of workforce. This is followed several drawbacks which can be solved by the introduction of educational campaign and positive influences on young generation that are taken by the governments.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In light of globalization" -> "Given the context of globalization"
Explanation: "Given the context of" is a more formal and precise way to introduce a topic, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"there is a number of adults" -> "there are numerous adults"
Explanation: "There are numerous adults" corrects the grammatical error and uses a more formal phraseology.
"have difficulties in both reading and writing" -> "face challenges in both reading and writing"
Explanation: "Face challenges" is a more precise and formal expression than "have difficulties," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"viable solutions can be taken" -> "feasible solutions can be implemented"
Explanation: "Implemented" is more specific and appropriate in the context of policy or action, whereas "taken" is too vague and informal.
"significant issues" -> "significant challenges"
Explanation: "Challenges" is more specific and academically appropriate than "issues," which can be too broad and vague.
"people who cannot read or write confront a wide range of challenges" -> "individuals who are illiterate face numerous challenges"
Explanation: "Individuals who are illiterate" is more precise and formal than "people who cannot read or write," and "face" is a more direct verb than "confront."
"fundamental requirement" -> "essential requirement"
Explanation: "Essential" is a more formal synonym for "fundamental," enhancing the academic tone.
"Some people without qualifications and certifications" -> "Individuals without qualifications or certifications"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "or" is more precise than "and" in listing non-essential items.
"find doing paperwork is exceedingly hard" -> "find paperwork extremely challenging"
Explanation: "Paperwork extremely challenging" is a more formal and concise way to express difficulty.
"the most struggling issues" -> "the most significant challenges"
Explanation: "The most significant challenges" corrects the grammatical error and uses more formal language.
"establishing educational campaign" -> "launching educational campaigns"
Explanation: "Launching" is more specific and appropriate for introducing new initiatives, and "campaigns" is plural to reflect the multiple efforts involved.
"well-solving" -> "effectively addressing"
Explanation: "Effectively addressing" is a more precise and formal way to describe the success of a solution.
"short-term supplementary classes" -> "short-term supplementary courses"
Explanation: "Courses" is more specific and formal than "classes" in the context of educational programs.
"to apply for a sustainable job" -> "to secure sustainable employment"
Explanation: "Secure sustainable employment" is a more formal and precise phrase than "apply for a sustainable job."
"prevent these global issues" -> "mitigate these global challenges"
Explanation: "Mitigate" is a more precise term for reducing the severity of problems, and "challenges" is more specific than "issues."
"at suitable ages which is possible for them" -> "at an age at which they can"
Explanation: "At an age at which they can" corrects the awkward phrasing and enhances clarity and formality.
"access to high quality education" -> "access to high-quality education"
Explanation: "High-quality" should be hyphenated to form a compound adjective, adhering to standard English grammar rules.
"the intellectual level can be enhanced" -> "the intellectual level can be improved"
Explanation: "Improved" is a more precise and commonly used term in academic contexts than "enhanced" when referring to upgrading or increasing something.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the prompt by discussing the disadvantages faced by adults who cannot read or write, such as limited job opportunities and difficulties with paperwork. It also suggests government actions, like educational campaigns and supplementary classes, to help these individuals. However, the response could be more comprehensive. For instance, while it mentions employment challenges, it could elaborate on other disadvantages, such as social exclusion or difficulty in accessing healthcare.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should ensure that all parts of the question are fully explored. This could involve including additional disadvantages faced by illiterate adults, such as impacts on their health or civic engagement, and providing more specific examples of how government initiatives could be implemented.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that adult illiteracy is a significant issue that requires government intervention. However, the phrasing in some areas is somewhat vague. For example, the phrase "this tendency is overshadowed by several drawbacks" is unclear and could confuse the reader about the writer’s stance.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should use more direct language and ensure that the position is consistently reinforced throughout the essay. Clear topic sentences for each paragraph can help guide the reader and maintain focus on the argument being made.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the disadvantages of illiteracy and potential government solutions. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while it mentions that literacy is essential for job opportunities, it does not provide specific examples or statistics to strengthen this claim.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should include specific examples, data, or anecdotes that illustrate the points made. This could involve citing studies on the economic impact of illiteracy or providing examples of successful government programs that have improved literacy rates.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the disadvantages of illiteracy and the role of government in addressing these issues. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as when discussing the education of younger generations, which could be seen as a tangent rather than a direct response to the prompt.
- How to improve: To maintain a tighter focus on the topic, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the prompt. It may be beneficial to clearly link discussions about younger generations back to the main topic of adult literacy, perhaps by explaining how improving education for youth can ultimately reduce adult illiteracy in the future.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents relevant ideas, but it would benefit from deeper exploration of the issues, clearer articulation of the position, and stronger supporting evidence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The first paragraph effectively outlines the disadvantages faced by adults who cannot read or write, while the second paragraph discusses potential government interventions. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing disadvantages to solutions could be more explicit, providing a clearer connection between the two sections. The use of phrases like "On the one hand" and "On the other hand" helps signal shifts in focus, but the overall progression of ideas could be more fluid.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the disadvantages to the proposed solutions. For example, after discussing the challenges, a sentence like "To address these challenges, governments can implement…" would create a smoother transition. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea would help guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, with each one focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. The first paragraph addresses the disadvantages faced by illiterate adults, while the second discusses government actions. However, the conclusion could be more developed to summarize the main points more clearly and reinforce the argument. The current conclusion feels somewhat abrupt and does not adequately tie back to the main ideas presented in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph effectiveness, the writer should ensure that the conclusion not only summarizes the main points but also reflects on their implications. A more robust conclusion could restate the significance of addressing adult literacy and suggest a call to action for governments. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear focus and that supporting details directly relate to the topic sentence would strengthen the overall coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "besides," and "moreover," which help to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be more explicit. For example, the phrase "this tendency can be well-solving" is awkward and unclear, which detracts from the overall cohesion of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," or "consequently." Additionally, ensuring that each cohesive device is used correctly and fits naturally within the context will enhance clarity. For instance, rephrasing "this tendency can be well-solving" to "this issue can be effectively addressed" would improve both clarity and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, focusing on enhancing logical flow, developing paragraphs more fully, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "globalization," "employment opportunities," and "supplementary classes." However, the vocabulary used often lacks variety and sophistication. For instance, the phrase "better access to education" is repeated in a similar form, which could be expressed in different ways, such as "improved educational opportunities" or "enhanced access to learning resources." Additionally, phrases like "a number of adults" and "many jobs require" could be varied with alternatives like "a significant portion of adults" or "numerous occupations necessitate."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related expressions. Reading a variety of texts can help expose them to different ways of expressing similar ideas. Keeping a vocabulary journal to note down new words and their contexts can also be beneficial.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay contains some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecision. For example, the phrase "this tendency is overshadowed by several drawbacks" is vague; it is unclear what "this tendency" specifically refers to. Furthermore, the term "well-solving" is awkwardly constructed and does not convey the intended meaning clearly. The phrase "the intellectual level can be enhanced" is also somewhat generic and could be more specific about what aspects of intellectual capacity are being referred to.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and specificity in their word choices. They should ask themselves whether their vocabulary accurately conveys their intended meaning. Using context-specific terms and avoiding vague language will help in achieving this. For example, instead of "intellectual level," they could specify "literacy rates" or "educational attainment."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, but there are a few errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, "issues" is incorrectly used in the phrase "this significant issues," where it should be "issue" to match the singular form. Additionally, "campaign" is misspelled as "campaign" in one instance, which could confuse readers.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, ideally reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words can also aid in reducing spelling mistakes. Regular practice with spelling exercises can further strengthen their skills.

In summary, while the essay meets some criteria for lexical resource, there are clear areas for improvement. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and focusing on spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex structures is evident in sentences like "Although this tendency is overshadowed by several drawbacks, viable solutions can be taken by the governments in order to solve this significant issues." However, there are instances where sentence structures are somewhat repetitive, such as the frequent use of "is" and "are" in the introduction and body paragraphs. This limits the overall variety and sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use a mix of active and passive voice. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Governments should…" or "Adults who…", the writer could use introductory phrases or clauses, such as "In response to this issue, governments could…" or "For many adults, the inability to read or write means that…". Additionally, integrating more conditional sentences (e.g., "If governments invest in adult education, then…") could also add complexity and interest to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are noticeable errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "this significant issues" should be corrected to "this significant issue" to ensure subject-verb agreement. Additionally, the sentence "find doing paperwork is exceedingly hard" could be improved to "find it exceedingly hard to do paperwork" for better grammatical structure. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance readability, such as before conjunctions in compound sentences.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should review subject-verb agreement rules and ensure that singular and plural forms are correctly matched. Regular practice with sentence restructuring can help identify and correct awkward phrasing. Furthermore, focusing on punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will enhance clarity. For example, breaking longer sentences into shorter ones or using commas to separate clauses can help convey ideas more effectively.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy will help achieve a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

In light of globalization, access to education has become available for residents around the world. However, there are numerous adults who still have difficulties in both reading and writing. Although this tendency is overshadowed by several drawbacks, feasible solutions can be implemented by governments in order to solve these significant challenges.

On the one hand, individuals who are illiterate face numerous challenges in various aspects of their lives. One of the most evident difficulties is employment opportunities, as literacy is an essential requirement for many occupations. Some individuals without qualifications or certifications may lose their chances for promotion, while lower literacy can lead to limited job prospects and lower income. Besides, adults who cannot access better education find that doing paperwork is extremely challenging. Nowadays, it is clearly evident that many jobs require the ability to deal with forms and documents, which is one of the most significant challenges for individuals who lack reading and writing skills.

On the other hand, governments should take responsibility for improving residents’ intellectual levels. By launching educational campaigns and introducing short-term supplementary courses for adults, this tendency can be effectively addressed. As people may find studying for long terms quite challenging, short-term supplementary classes should be implemented to help individuals enhance their basic skills, such as reading and writing, to secure sustainable employment. Moreover, governments should mitigate these global challenges by providing younger generations with better education. Teenagers and children are at an age at which they can strive for education, and once global residents can access high-quality education, their intellectual levels can be improved.

To conclude, many adults do not have good access to education, leading to lower literacy rates within the workforce. This is followed by several drawbacks that can be addressed through the introduction of educational campaigns and positive influences on the younger generation by governments.