Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

Despite increased access to education, many adults today remain illiterate, which significantly disadvantages them in various aspects of life. Illiterate adults face limited job opportunities because literacy is often a basic requirement for most positions. Without the ability to read or write, they are confined to low-paying, unstable jobs, perpetuating a cycle of poverty. Furthermore, their inability to understand written instructions or documents restricts their productivity and chances for career advancement.
Another significant drawback is social exclusion. Illiterate adults often experience shame and low self-esteem, leading to social isolation. They may avoid community activities or interactions that require reading or writing, further marginalizing them. Additionally, their inability to read can hinder access to essential services like healthcare, banking, and social welfare programs, which rely on written communication. This isolation can exacerbate their marginalization and prevent them from fully participating in society.
Governments can play a crucial role in addressing this issue. Firstly, they should implement adult education programs that are accessible and flexible, offering classes during evenings and weekends to accommodate working adults. These programs should also be affordable, if not free, to ensure all adults have the opportunity to improve their literacy skills. By providing such programs, governments can help illiterate adults gain the skills they need to secure better jobs and improve their quality of life.
Secondly, investing in community-based initiatives can promote literacy in a supportive environment. Collaborations with local organizations and libraries can create safe spaces for adults to learn without fear of judgment. Providing free resources, such as books and online tools, can also aid self-directed learning. Public awareness campaigns can help destigmatize illiteracy and encourage adults to seek help. Highlighting success stories of individuals who have overcome illiteracy can inspire others and demonstrate the benefits of being literate.
In conclusion, adult illiteracy presents significant challenges, including limited job prospects and social exclusion. Governments can address this by providing accessible education programs, supporting community initiatives, and raising awareness. By doing so, they can empower adults and promote inclusive growth, helping to break the cycle of poverty and marginalization that illiteracy perpetuates.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"many adults today remain illiterate" -> "a significant number of adults today remain illiterate"
Explanation: The phrase "a significant number of" provides a more precise and formal quantification, enhancing the academic tone of the statement.
"significantly disadvantages" -> "significantly disadvantages them"
Explanation: Adding "them" clarifies the subject of the disadvantage, ensuring that the sentence is grammatically complete and clear.
"confined to low-paying, unstable jobs" -> "restricted to low-paying and unstable jobs"
Explanation: Changing "confined to" to "restricted to" maintains the formal tone and avoids the colloquial connotation of "confined," which can imply a sense of imprisonment.
"perpetuating a cycle of poverty" -> "perpetuating a cycle of poverty"
Explanation: This phrase is correct as it is, but it could be expanded to "perpetuating a cycle of poverty and disadvantage" to emphasize the broader impact.
"social exclusion" -> "social exclusion and marginalization"
Explanation: Adding "and marginalization" clarifies that the social exclusion is not only limited to social interactions but also encompasses broader societal implications.
"avoid community activities or interactions" -> "avoid participating in community activities or interactions"
Explanation: Adding "participating in" clarifies the nature of the avoidance, specifying that it is the act of participating that is being avoided, not just the activities themselves.
"hinder access to essential services" -> "impede access to essential services"
Explanation: "Impede" is a more precise and formal term than "hinder," which is slightly less specific and more colloquial.
"if not free" -> "or free"
Explanation: Changing "if not free" to "or free" clarifies the condition, making it more direct and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"help illiterate adults gain the skills" -> "assist illiterate adults in acquiring the skills"
Explanation: "Assist" and "acquiring" are more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"safe spaces for adults to learn" -> "safe environments for adults to learn"
Explanation: "Environments" is a more formal term than "spaces," aligning better with academic language.
"without fear of judgment" -> "without fear of being judged"
Explanation: "Being judged" is a more precise and formal way to express the fear of criticism or negative evaluation.
"Highlighting success stories" -> "Highlighting the success stories of individuals"
Explanation: Adding "of individuals" clarifies the subject of the success stories, making the sentence more specific and formal.
"help to break the cycle of poverty and marginalization" -> "help break the cycles of poverty and marginalization"
Explanation: Changing "help to break" to "help break" simplifies the construction, making it more direct and forceful, which is preferred in academic writing for emphasis and clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies the disadvantages faced by illiterate adults, such as limited job opportunities and social exclusion, and elaborates on these points with relevant examples. The second part of the question, which asks what governments can do to help, is also well-covered with specific suggestions like implementing adult education programs and investing in community initiatives. The essay maintains a clear focus on the issues of adult illiteracy throughout.
- How to improve: To further enhance the response, the essay could include more specific examples or statistics to illustrate the extent of the disadvantages faced by illiterate adults. Additionally, discussing potential barriers to accessing government programs could provide a more nuanced view of the challenges involved.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and consistent position regarding the disadvantages of adult illiteracy and the role of government in addressing these issues. The argument is logically structured, with each paragraph contributing to the overall thesis. The use of phrases like "Governments can play a crucial role" reinforces the essay’s stance.
- How to improve: While the position is clear, the essay could benefit from a more explicit statement of the author’s viewpoint in the introduction. A stronger thesis statement that encapsulates the main arguments could help guide the reader more effectively.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented clearly and supported with relevant reasoning. For instance, the discussion of job opportunities is well-supported by the explanation of how illiteracy limits access to stable employment. The essay also extends ideas by connecting literacy to broader societal issues like poverty and social exclusion.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the essay could incorporate more detailed examples or case studies that illustrate the impact of illiteracy on individuals’ lives. Additionally, providing counterarguments or acknowledging potential limitations of the proposed solutions could enhance the depth of the analysis.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the disadvantages of illiteracy and the role of government interventions without deviating into unrelated areas. Each paragraph contributes directly to answering the prompt.
- How to improve: While the essay is generally on topic, ensuring that each point made directly ties back to the main question can further solidify focus. For instance, explicitly linking each disadvantage discussed to specific government actions could create a more cohesive argument.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates ideas. With minor adjustments to enhance specificity, depth, and clarity, it could potentially reach an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is well-structured, presenting a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic, starting with the disadvantages faced by illiterate adults and moving on to the potential solutions that governments can implement. For example, the first paragraph effectively outlines the economic disadvantages, while the second paragraph discusses social exclusion. This logical organization aids the reader’s understanding and keeps the argument focused.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow further, consider using more explicit linking phrases between paragraphs. For instance, at the end of the first paragraph, a transitional sentence could summarize the disadvantages and hint at the solutions to come, such as, “To combat these challenges, government intervention is essential.” This would create a smoother transition and reinforce the connection between the problem and the proposed solutions.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a clear paragraph structure, with each paragraph dedicated to a distinct idea. The introduction sets the stage, the body paragraphs delve into specific disadvantages and solutions, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points. This clear separation of ideas helps maintain coherence throughout the essay.
- How to improve: While the paragraphing is effective, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence can further enhance clarity. For example, the second paragraph could start with a sentence like, “In addition to economic challenges, illiterate adults also face significant social disadvantages.” This would immediately inform the reader of the paragraph’s focus and improve the overall coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing, to connect ideas. Phrases like “furthermore” and “additionally” effectively link sentences and paragraphs, contributing to the overall flow. The use of pronouns (e.g., “they” referring to illiterate adults) helps avoid repetition and maintains cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the range of cohesive devices, consider incorporating more varied linking words and phrases. For example, using terms like “consequently” to illustrate cause and effect or “on the other hand” to present contrasting ideas can enrich the text. Additionally, employing more complex cohesive devices, such as subordinating clauses (e.g., “Although many adults have access to education, they still struggle with literacy”), can enhance the sophistication of the writing and improve cohesion.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt with a coherent structure and logical flow of ideas. By implementing the suggested improvements, particularly in the areas of transitions, topic sentences, and the variety of cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 8

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, effectively using terms such as "illiterate," "marginalizing," "perpetuating," and "destigmatize." These words not only convey precise meanings but also enhance the overall sophistication of the writing. The use of phrases like "limited job opportunities" and "essential services" further illustrates the writer’s ability to articulate complex ideas succinctly.
- How to improve: To elevate the lexical resource even further, the writer could incorporate more varied synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "limited" and "essential," alternatives like "restricted" or "critical" could be used. Additionally, integrating more academic or formal vocabulary, such as "socioeconomic barriers" or "educational inequity," could enhance the essay’s depth.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The vocabulary used in the essay is largely precise and appropriate for the context. Terms such as "social exclusion" and "community-based initiatives" are well-chosen and relevant. However, there are instances where the phrasing could be more exact. For example, the phrase "perpetuating a cycle of poverty" is effective, but the term "unstable jobs" could be more clearly defined to specify the nature of these jobs (e.g., "precarious employment").
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on ensuring that every term used conveys the intended meaning without ambiguity. For instance, instead of "unstable jobs," the writer could specify "low-wage, temporary positions." This not only clarifies the meaning but also enriches the vocabulary used.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors. Words such as "literacy," "opportunities," and "government" are spelled correctly throughout the text, reflecting a strong command of English spelling conventions.
- How to improve: While the spelling is already strong, the writer can maintain this level of accuracy by consistently proofreading their work. Engaging in regular spelling practice, particularly with commonly confused words or those that are less frequently used, can further solidify this skill. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or apps focused on vocabulary building can also be beneficial.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of lexical resource, meriting a band score of 8. By expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can continue to improve their writing skills.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "Without the ability to read or write, they are confined to low-paying, unstable jobs, perpetuating a cycle of poverty." This structure effectively conveys multiple ideas in a single sentence. Additionally, the essay employs a mix of simple and compound sentences, such as "Governments can play a crucial role in addressing this issue." This variety enhances the flow and readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more conditional sentences (e.g., "If governments invested more in adult education, literacy rates would likely improve.") or participial phrases (e.g., "Having recognized the importance of literacy, governments should act swiftly."). This would not only add complexity but also demonstrate a higher level of grammatical proficiency.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy. Most sentences are well-constructed, and punctuation is used correctly, aiding clarity. For example, the use of commas in lists, as seen in "healthcare, banking, and social welfare programs," is appropriate and enhances readability. However, there are minor areas for improvement, such as the potential overuse of commas in complex sentences, which can occasionally disrupt the flow.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, focus on ensuring that commas are used judiciously, particularly in complex sentences. For instance, consider revising sentences to reduce comma splices or unnecessary pauses. Additionally, reviewing subject-verb agreement in more complex sentences could be beneficial, ensuring that the sentence structure remains clear and concise. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback from peers can also help reinforce these skills.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, with room for refinement in sentence variety and punctuation precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

Another significant drawback is social exclusion. Illiterate adults often experience shame and low self-esteem, leading to social isolation. They may avoid participating in community activities or interactions that require reading or writing, further marginalizing them. Additionally, their inability to read can hinder access to essential services like healthcare, banking, and social welfare programs, which rely on written communication. This isolation can exacerbate their marginalization and prevent them from fully participating in society.

Governments can play a crucial role in addressing this issue. Firstly, they should implement adult education programs that are accessible and flexible, offering classes during evenings and weekends to accommodate working adults. These programs should also be affordable, if not free, to ensure all adults have the opportunity to improve their literacy skills. By providing such programs, governments can assist illiterate adults in acquiring the skills they need to secure better jobs and improve their quality of life.

Secondly, investing in community-based initiatives can promote literacy in a supportive environment. Collaborations with local organizations and libraries can create safe environments for adults to learn without fear of being judged. Providing free resources, such as books and online tools, can also aid self-directed learning. Public awareness campaigns can help destigmatize illiteracy and encourage adults to seek help. Highlighting the success stories of individuals who have overcome illiteracy can inspire others and demonstrate the benefits of being literate.

In conclusion, adult illiteracy presents significant challenges, including limited job prospects and social exclusion. Governments can address this by providing accessible education programs, supporting community initiatives, and raising awareness. By doing so, they can empower adults and promote inclusive growth, helping to break the cycles of poverty and marginalization that illiteracy perpetuates.