Development in technology has brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued by some that the advancement in science has an enormous impact on our surroundings. Although some believe that we should protect our environment by having a normal lifestyle without much technical interference, other groups contradict this view. This essay will discuss in the forthcoming paragraphs that how technology make our life perfect.
One of the primary reasons that numerous people support the idea that simple living might protect our mother earth. If we adhere to the path of simplicity, our expectations will be reduced. For example, when I was very young, land-line phones were widely in use for communication, but the introduction of mobile devices bought a revolution in this sector. Although our life became easy, numerous birds lost their life due to the harmful radiation that affected the ecological balance. To illustrate more, the invention of an aero plane made travelling a seamless process, but it is one of the reasons for the depletion of the ozone layer. Hence, the desire to lead a better life is destroying our planet.
On the other hand, we can solve several problems with the help of technological innovations. This is mainly because it makes mankind more rational and practical.For instance, the agricultural sector got an enormous benefit out of it. Nowadays, the farmers are aware beforehand of climatic changes as well as they can protect their crops from various harmful insects by using appropriate medicines. Moreover, they can preserve their commodities also for a very long time by using a number of scientific methodologies. Similarly, the generation of solar energy, tidal energy, the wind energy is also saving fuel; thus, saving our mother earth from harmful emissions. Henceforth, the development of technology is crucial for the survival of civilization.

To conclude, in my opinion, technological progression is mandatory to resolve vital problems. We have to use it in a proper way so that it solves our purpose as well as protect our habitat.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is argued by some" -> "It is contended by some"
Explanation: "Contended" is a more precise and formal term than "argued," which is commonly used in academic writing to denote a position being advocated or maintained.
"an enormous impact" -> "a significant impact"
Explanation: "Enormous" can be seen as an exaggeration and less precise in academic contexts. "Significant" is more measured and appropriate for formal writing.
"having a normal lifestyle" -> "maintaining a conventional lifestyle"
Explanation: "Normal" is vague and informal; "conventional" is more specific and formal, fitting better in an academic context.
"without much technical interference" -> "with minimal technological intervention"
Explanation: "Technical interference" is an awkward and unclear phrase. "Technological intervention" is more precise and appropriate for discussing the role of technology in human activities.
"how technology make our life perfect" -> "how technology enhances our lives"
Explanation: "Make our life perfect" is overly simplistic and informal. "Enhances our lives" is more precise and academically appropriate.
"numerous people support" -> "many individuals support"
Explanation: "Numerous" can be seen as slightly informal and less precise. "Many individuals" is more formal and suitable for academic writing.
"our mother earth" -> "the environment"
Explanation: "Our mother earth" is overly colloquial and emotional. "The environment" is a more neutral and formal term.
"adhere to the path of simplicity" -> "adopt a simple lifestyle"
Explanation: "Adhere to the path of simplicity" is verbose and awkward. "Adopt a simple lifestyle" is clearer and more direct.
"our expectations will be reduced" -> "our expectations will decrease"
Explanation: "Will be reduced" is less direct and slightly awkward. "Will decrease" is straightforward and more commonly used in formal writing.
"brought a revolution" -> "brought about a revolution"
Explanation: "Brought" is a less formal verb in this context. "Brought about" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"harmful radiation" -> "harmful radiation effects"
Explanation: Adding "effects" clarifies that the radiation is causing harm, which is more precise and formal.
"aero plane" -> "airplane"
Explanation: "Aero plane" is an informal and less standard term. "Airplane" is the correct and formal term.
"makes mankind more rational and practical" -> "enhances human rationality and practicality"
Explanation: "Makes mankind more rational and practical" is somewhat informal and vague. "Enhances human rationality and practicality" is more precise and formal.
"got an enormous benefit out of it" -> "derived significant benefits from it"
Explanation: "Got an enormous benefit out of it" is informal and colloquial. "Derived significant benefits from it" is more formal and precise.
"using a number of scientific methodologies" -> "utilizing various scientific methodologies"
Explanation: "Using a number of" is somewhat informal and vague. "Utilizing various" is more precise and formal.
"saving our mother earth" -> "protecting the environment"
Explanation: "Saving our mother earth" is overly emotional and informal. "Protecting the environment" is a more neutral and formal expression.
"technological progression" -> "technological advancements"
Explanation: "Progression" can be vague and less specific. "Advancements" is a more precise term in the context of technological development.
"mandatory to resolve vital problems" -> "essential for addressing critical issues"
Explanation: "Mandatory" is too strong and informal for this context. "Essential" is more appropriate and formal, and "addressing critical issues" is a clearer and more precise phrase than "resolve vital problems."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both views regarding the relationship between technology and environmental issues. The first paragraph discusses the perspective that simpler living can mitigate environmental problems, citing examples such as land-line phones and airplanes. However, the discussion lacks depth in exploring the counterargument, which is the belief that technology can solve these problems. While the second paragraph presents this view, it does so with less emphasis on the potential downsides of technology, which could provide a more balanced discussion.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could include more detailed examples and explanations for both sides. For instance, when discussing the benefits of technology, it could mention specific technological advancements that have positively impacted the environment, such as renewable energy technologies. Additionally, the essay should ensure that both views are given equal weight to fully address the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay concludes with a clear personal opinion favoring technological progression as a solution to environmental issues. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay. The initial discussion of simple living suggests a potential ambivalence that is not fully resolved before the conclusion.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should explicitly state their opinion in the introduction and consistently refer back to it in the body paragraphs. Phrases that connect the discussion back to their viewpoint can help reinforce their stance, making it clearer to the reader.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to both views, but the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the negative impacts of technology are mentioned, the examples provided are more anecdotal than analytical. The benefits of technology are better supported, but they could still be expanded upon with more detailed evidence or examples.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to extend their ideas by providing more comprehensive explanations and examples. For instance, discussing specific technological innovations in agriculture or renewable energy with data or studies could strengthen the argument. Additionally, addressing potential counterarguments to their own position would show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the relationship between technology and environmental issues. However, there are moments where the focus shifts slightly, such as when discussing personal anecdotes that do not directly relate to the broader argument. For instance, the mention of personal experiences with land-line phones could be more relevant if tied back to a broader point about technological impact.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all examples and anecdotes directly support the main argument. It may be helpful to outline the essay before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall discussion and does not stray from the topic.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and presents a clear opinion, it would benefit from deeper exploration of both views, more robust support for ideas, and a tighter focus on the topic throughout the discussion.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. The arguments are generally well-organized, with the first body paragraph addressing the perspective that simpler living can protect the environment, while the second body paragraph counters this by highlighting the benefits of technology. However, the flow of ideas could be improved. For instance, the transition between discussing simple living and technology lacks a smooth connection, which can confuse readers about the relationship between the two views.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect the two perspectives. For example, after discussing the drawbacks of technology in the first paragraph, you could introduce the second paragraph with a phrase like, "Conversely, it is essential to recognize that technology also offers solutions to these environmental challenges." This would help clarify the contrast between the two views.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific viewpoint, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the author’s opinion. However, the first body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more cohesive development of ideas. The mention of specific examples, such as the impact of mobile devices and airplanes, is relevant but could be better integrated into the argument.
- How to improve: Strengthen the topic sentences to clearly state the main idea of each paragraph. For instance, the first body paragraph could start with a sentence like, "Proponents of simpler living argue that reducing technological reliance can mitigate environmental damage." Additionally, ensure that examples are directly linked to the argument being made, perhaps by explaining how each example supports the claim about simple living.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "although," "for example," and "moreover," which help connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences and ideas could be clearer. For example, the phrase "henceforth" in the second body paragraph feels somewhat abrupt and could be replaced with a more common transitional phrase.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "in addition," "furthermore," or "on the contrary" to enhance transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately and enhances the clarity of the argument. Practicing the use of different cohesive devices in writing exercises can help improve this aspect.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in logical flow, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices could elevate the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "advancement," "ecological balance," and "technological innovations." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases like "mother earth" and "harmful emissions," which could have been varied to enhance the essay’s lexical richness. Additionally, some phrases, such as "make our life perfect," are vague and do not convey a clear, specific meaning.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader variety of synonyms and expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "mother earth," alternatives like "the environment" or "our planet" could be employed. The phrase "make our life perfect" could be replaced with more precise language, such as "enhance our quality of life" or "improve our living conditions."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that hinder clarity. For example, the phrase "the introduction of mobile devices bought a revolution" should use "brought" instead of "bought." Additionally, the term "aero plane" is less commonly used than "airplane," which may confuse readers. The phrase "the desire to lead a better life is destroying our planet" is also a bit ambiguous and could be interpreted in multiple ways.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should double-check word choices and ensure they are appropriate for the context. Utilizing a thesaurus can help find more suitable synonyms. Furthermore, clarifying statements that may be interpreted in various ways can improve overall understanding. For example, rephrasing the ambiguous statement about the desire for a better life could clarify the intended meaning.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "aero plane" (should be "airplane") and "bought" (should be "brought"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and may confuse readers.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, practicing spelling through writing exercises or vocabulary quizzes can reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the use of "Although some believe that we should protect our environment by having a normal lifestyle without much technical interference, other groups contradict this view" showcases a complex structure that effectively contrasts two opposing views. However, there are some repetitive structures, particularly in the use of "this is mainly because" and "for example," which could be varied further.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied transitional phrases and clauses. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "for example," you might use "such as," "to illustrate," or "consider the case of." Additionally, try to include more complex sentences that combine multiple ideas, which can enhance the depth of your arguments.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, "the introduction of mobile devices bought a revolution in this sector" should use "brought" instead of "bought." Additionally, there are instances of missing commas, such as before "but" in "but it is one of the reasons for the depletion of the ozone layer," which can lead to run-on sentences. The phrase "the generation of solar energy, tidal energy, the wind energy is also saving fuel" lacks parallel structure and clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, such as verb tense and subject-verb agreement. Pay attention to punctuation, particularly the use of commas in compound sentences and lists. Practicing sentence combining exercises can help in achieving better parallelism and clarity in your writing. Additionally, consider using grammar-checking tools to catch errors before submission.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical accuracy will help in achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is contended by some that advancements in technology have a significant impact on our environment. Although many individuals support the idea that we should protect our surroundings by maintaining a conventional lifestyle with minimal technological intervention, others argue against this perspective. This essay will discuss how technology enhances our lives and its potential to address environmental challenges.

One of the primary reasons that numerous people advocate for a simpler lifestyle is the belief that it can help protect our planet. If we adopt a simple lifestyle, our expectations will decrease, leading to less consumption and waste. For example, when I was very young, landline phones were widely used for communication, but the introduction of mobile devices brought about a revolution in this sector. While our lives became more convenient, many birds lost their lives due to harmful radiation, which disrupted the ecological balance. To illustrate further, the invention of the airplane made travel seamless, but it has also contributed to the depletion of the ozone layer. Hence, the desire to lead a better life, driven by technological advancements, is inadvertently harming our planet.

On the other hand, technology can provide solutions to several environmental problems. This is largely because it enhances human rationality and practicality. For instance, the agricultural sector has derived significant benefits from technological innovations. Nowadays, farmers can anticipate climatic changes and protect their crops from harmful insects by utilizing appropriate pesticides. Moreover, they can preserve their produce for extended periods by employing various scientific methodologies. Similarly, the generation of solar, tidal, and wind energy is also conserving fuel, thus protecting the environment from harmful emissions. Therefore, the development of technology is essential for addressing critical issues facing our civilization.

To conclude, in my opinion, technological progression is vital for resolving pressing environmental problems. We must utilize it responsibly to ensure that it serves our needs while also protecting our habitat.