Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people think it is necessary, but others are of the opinion that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people have different opinions on the gap in salaries between top leaders in large organizations and regular employees. Some people argue that paying directors significantly higher salaries is unfair. However, I believe that directors receive high salary to fairly reflect the responsibilities that impact the performance of the company.
On the one hand, it is expected that employees should be paid equally for their hard work and the time they dedicate to their workload. In reality, they only receive a fraction of their leaders' earnings. Additionally, regular employees are the ones who bring a leader's vision into reality. However, the payment system shows that their positions do not fully reflect the company's performance or influence the decision-making process.
On the other hand, top leaders have important responsibilities, despite fewer working hours and tasks. The weight of these duties can create a high level of pressure that only experts and professionals can handle. Furthermore, not only personal tasks are required, but leadership and human management are also essential skills that directors need to have. For instance, if directors lack the ability to solve conflicts, the employees working under their leadership cannot work with high productivity. Additionally, to gain such skills, top leaders have gained years of experience, as well as years of being employees themselves, which explains their level of payment.
In conclusion, I believe that top leaders in large corporations earn higher salaries due to the stressful nature of their work, while ordinary employees receive less salary as they only contribute to a smaller part of the company's operations.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Many people have different opinions" -> "Numerous individuals hold diverse perspectives"
Explanation: "Numerous individuals hold diverse perspectives" is more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"paying directors significantly higher salaries" -> "paying directors significantly higher salaries"
Explanation: The phrase "significantly higher" is redundant as "higher" already implies significance. Removing "significantly" maintains clarity and conciseness.
"is unfair" -> "is unjust"
Explanation: "Unjust" is a more formal and precise term than "unfair," which is somewhat colloquial and vague in this context.
"receive high salary" -> "receive a higher salary"
Explanation: "A higher salary" is grammatically correct and more formal than "high salary," which is awkward and informal.
"expected that employees should be paid equally" -> "expected that employees should be compensated equally"
Explanation: "Compensated" is a more precise term in the context of salaries, and it aligns better with formal academic language.
"only receive a fraction of their leaders’ earnings" -> "receive only a fraction of their leaders’ earnings"
Explanation: Moving "only" to the beginning of the sentence clarifies the emphasis and improves the flow of the sentence.
"bring a leader’s vision into reality" -> "actualize a leader’s vision"
Explanation: "Actualize" is a more formal and precise verb than "bring into reality," which is somewhat colloquial.
"payment system shows" -> "compensation structure indicates"
Explanation: "Compensation structure" is a more specific and formal term than "payment system," and "indicates" is more precise than "shows" in this context.
"top leaders have important responsibilities" -> "top leaders bear significant responsibilities"
Explanation: "Bear" is a more formal verb than "have" in this context, emphasizing the weight of the responsibilities.
"fewer working hours and tasks" -> "reduced working hours and responsibilities"
Explanation: "Reduced" is more precise than "fewer" when referring to hours and responsibilities, and "responsibilities" is more specific than "tasks" in this context.
"not only personal tasks are required" -> "not only personal tasks are required"
Explanation: The sentence is grammatically incomplete without "are." Adding "are" corrects the grammatical error.
"if directors lack the ability to solve conflicts" -> "if directors lack the capacity to resolve conflicts"
Explanation: "Capacity" and "resolve" are more formal and precise terms than "ability" and "solve," respectively, fitting better in an academic context.
"employees working under their leadership cannot work with high productivity" -> "employees under their leadership may not operate at optimal productivity"
Explanation: "Operate at optimal productivity" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea that employees may not work at their best due to leadership issues.
"top leaders have gained years of experience" -> "top leaders have accumulated years of experience"
Explanation: "Accumulated" is a more precise term than "gained" in this context, suggesting a gradual and continuous process of acquiring experience.
"as well as years of being employees themselves" -> "including years of experience as employees"
Explanation: "Including years of experience as employees" is more concise and formal, improving the clarity and flow of the sentence.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding the salary disparity between directors and ordinary employees. The first body paragraph presents the argument against high salaries for directors, emphasizing the hard work and contributions of regular employees. The second body paragraph counters this by discussing the significant responsibilities and pressures faced by directors, which justifies their higher salaries. This balanced approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay could benefit from more explicit references to the implications of each viewpoint. For instance, discussing the potential consequences of high salaries on employee morale or the overall company culture could provide a deeper analysis. Additionally, a more thorough exploration of the fairness aspect could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position throughout the essay, asserting that high salaries for directors are justified due to their responsibilities. This stance is articulated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing both views could be more fluid, as the shift from one perspective to another feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the essay could use transitional phrases that explicitly link the arguments. For example, phrases like "While it is true that…" or "Conversely…" can help to guide the reader through the contrasting viewpoints more smoothly. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in the context of each point discussed would reinforce the writer’s position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the discussion of the responsibilities of directors and the contributions of employees. The use of examples, such as the need for conflict resolution skills among directors, adds depth to the argument. However, some points could be further developed to enhance their impact. For instance, the mention of directors having years of experience is a strong point but could be elaborated with specific examples of how this experience translates into effective leadership.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should aim to provide more concrete examples or statistics that illustrate the points made. For instance, citing studies on employee satisfaction in relation to salary disparities or examples of successful companies that have equitable pay structures could bolster the argument. Additionally, ensuring that each idea is fully explored before moving on to the next would enhance coherence.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic of salary disparities and effectively discusses both sides of the argument. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the central question of fairness. For example, while the essay mentions the responsibilities of directors, it could delve deeper into why these responsibilities warrant a higher salary in terms of fairness.
- How to improve: To maintain tighter focus on the topic, the writer should consistently link back to the concept of fairness in each paragraph. This could involve explicitly stating how the points made relate to the fairness of salary distributions. Additionally, ensuring that each argument directly addresses the prompt will help to keep the essay on track and relevant throughout.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong grasp of the task requirements and presents a well-structured argument. With some refinements in depth, clarity, and focus, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by outlining the differing opinions on salary disparities. The body paragraphs logically separate the arguments for both sides, with the first paragraph focusing on the perspective that high salaries are unfair, while the second paragraph defends the rationale behind such compensation for directors. However, the transition between the two views could be smoother, as the shift from one paragraph to the other feels somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that clearly indicate a shift in perspective, such as "On the contrary" or "Conversely." Additionally, providing a brief summary of the opposing view at the beginning of the second body paragraph could help to reinforce the contrast and improve the flow of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the discussion, contributing to the overall coherence. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly state the main idea of the paragraph. While the content is relevant, the connection between sentences could be strengthened to ensure that each point builds upon the previous one.
- How to improve: Start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. For example, in the second body paragraph, a sentence like "Despite the arguments for equal pay, there are compelling reasons to justify the higher salaries of directors" would provide clarity. Additionally, ensure that each supporting sentence logically follows from the topic sentence, reinforcing the main argument of the paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "on the one hand" and "on the other hand," which effectively signal contrasting viewpoints. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between ideas could be more explicit. For example, the use of pronouns and synonyms could be improved to avoid repetition and enhance cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in addition," or "however," to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, vary the use of pronouns and synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which will help maintain coherence and reduce redundancy. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "directors," consider using "they" or "these leaders" in subsequent references.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, but with targeted improvements in organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices, it could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "directors," "responsibilities," "performance," and "leadership." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in phrases such as "high salary" and "regular employees." This repetition limits the overall lexical variety and sophistication expected at a higher band score.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "high salary," alternatives like "substantial remuneration" or "elevated compensation" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "ordinary workers" or "staff members" instead of "regular employees" would diversify the vocabulary.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "responsibilities" and "performance," which are relevant to the topic. However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "the payment system shows that their positions do not fully reflect the company’s performance." This phrase could be clearer; it seems to imply that the payment system itself is at fault rather than the disparity in salary reflecting the value of different roles.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clearly articulating their points. For instance, instead of saying "the payment system shows," it could be more effective to say, "the current salary structure does not adequately compensate employees for their contributions." This not only clarifies the argument but also enhances the overall impact of the statement.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The spelling in the essay is generally accurate, with no glaring errors. Words like "responsibilities," "performance," and "productivity" are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall impression of the essay.
- How to improve: To maintain and enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to proofread their work carefully. Additionally, practicing spelling through exercises or using tools like spell check can help reinforce correct spelling habits. Engaging with vocabulary lists or flashcards can also be beneficial in solidifying spelling for more complex terms.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and uses vocabulary effectively, there is room for improvement in terms of range and precision. By incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary, enhancing clarity in word choice, and maintaining spelling accuracy, the writer can aim for a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like "the weight of these duties can create a high level of pressure that only experts and professionals can handle." This showcases the writer’s ability to convey nuanced ideas. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the sentence "Additionally, regular employees are the ones who bring a leader’s vision into reality" is straightforward and could be enhanced with more complex structures or varied conjunctions to improve flow.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied conjunctions and relative clauses. For instance, instead of repeating "Additionally," you could use "Moreover" or "Furthermore" to introduce new ideas. Experimenting with different sentence beginnings and using participial phrases can also add complexity. For example, instead of "However, I believe that directors receive high salary," you could say, "Believing that directors receive high salaries is essential, as it reflects the responsibilities they bear."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. However, there are some issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. For instance, the phrase "directors receive high salary" should be corrected to "directors receive high salaries" to ensure plural agreement. Additionally, the sentence "the payment system shows that their positions do not fully reflect the company’s performance or influence the decision-making process" is somewhat awkward and could be clearer with improved punctuation or restructuring.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and pluralization. Regularly reviewing basic grammar rules can help reinforce these concepts. Also, consider reading your sentences aloud to catch awkward phrasing or punctuation errors. For example, the sentence "not only personal tasks are required, but leadership and human management are also essential skills that directors need to have" could be rephrased for clarity: "Not only are personal tasks required, but leadership and human management skills are also essential for directors." This adjustment improves both grammatical accuracy and overall readability.

By focusing on these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many people have different opinions on the gap in salaries between top leaders in large organizations and regular employees. Some individuals argue that paying directors significantly higher salaries is unjust. However, I believe that directors receive high salaries to fairly reflect the responsibilities that impact the performance of the company.

On the one hand, it is expected that employees should be compensated equally for their hard work and the time they dedicate to their workload. In reality, they only receive a fraction of their leaders’ earnings. Additionally, regular employees are the ones who actualize a leader’s vision. However, the compensation structure indicates that their positions do not fully reflect the company’s performance or influence the decision-making process.

On the other hand, top leaders bear significant responsibilities, despite reduced working hours and tasks. The weight of these duties can create a high level of pressure that only experts and professionals can handle. Furthermore, not only personal tasks are required, but leadership and human management are also essential skills that directors need to possess. For instance, if directors lack the capacity to resolve conflicts, employees under their leadership may not operate at optimal productivity. Additionally, to gain such skills, top leaders have accumulated years of experience, including years of experience as employees themselves, which explains their level of compensation.

In conclusion, I believe that top leaders in large corporations earn higher salaries due to the stressful nature of their work, while ordinary employees receive lower salaries as they only contribute to a smaller part of the company’s operations.