discuss the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports and participating in physical exercises

Doing physical exercises is always a crucial part of living a healthy lifestyle. While participating in these activities greatly profits for humans’ health, it still consists some drawbacks.
Participating in sports brings several profits to humans’ life. One of them is to give make people have physical well-being. By training themself, people would improve their strength and stamina, give them more energy to perform their best possibilities in working and studying tasks. Besides, playing sports would require dilligence and healthy lifestyle. For instance, sport players have to strictly follow their diet and training schedule. Additionally, good strength could also make people have better mentality. It is proved that people contain more positive emotions when they start to practice excercises daily.
Inspite of the aforementioned benefits, there are some disadvantages related to physical exercises. Doing exercises could carries the risk of severe injuries. Participating any sports or exercises usually need many strength, which could be dangerous if trainers make any mistakes. Moreover, overtraining could lead to adverse influences on our body, as well as lethal consequences such as having a heart attack or broken legs. In terms of finance, trainers would have to pay a big amount of money on playing sports. There are a plethora of things to pay in regards of sports: equipmens, training locations and even trainers to assure people can practice in safer conditions.
In conclusion, it is necessary for people who want to have healthy lifestyle to take part in exercises. Thus, people can have a sense of physical as well as spiritual well-being. However, people could be injured while playing it, not to mention the financial problem.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Doing physical exercises is always a crucial part of living a healthy lifestyle." -> "Engaging in physical exercise is an essential component of a healthy lifestyle."
Explanation: Replacing "Doing physical exercises is always a crucial part of living a healthy lifestyle" with "Engaging in physical exercise is an essential component of a healthy lifestyle" refines the sentence by using more precise and formal vocabulary ("engaging in" and "essential component") and avoids the redundancy of "physical exercises" and "healthy lifestyle."
"it still consists some drawbacks" -> "it still has some drawbacks"
Explanation: Correcting "consists" to "has" fixes a grammatical error, as "consists" is not the correct verb form in this context.
"give make people have physical well-being" -> "enhance physical well-being"
Explanation: Replacing "give make people have physical well-being" with "enhance physical well-being" simplifies and clarifies the phrase, removing redundancy and improving the formal tone.
"training themself" -> "training themselves"
Explanation: Correcting "themself" to "themselves" fixes a grammatical error, as "themselves" is the correct reflexive pronoun form.
"give them more energy to perform their best possibilities" -> "enhance their energy levels and enable them to perform optimally"
Explanation: Replacing "give them more energy to perform their best possibilities" with "enhance their energy levels and enable them to perform optimally" uses more precise language and avoids the awkward phrasing of "perform their best possibilities."
"playing sports would require dilligence and healthy lifestyle" -> "participating in sports demands diligence and a healthy lifestyle"
Explanation: Changing "playing sports would require dilligence and healthy lifestyle" to "participating in sports demands diligence and a healthy lifestyle" corrects the spelling error ("dilligence" to "diligence") and uses more formal verb forms ("demands" instead of "would require").
"good strength could also make people have better mentality" -> "good physical strength can also improve mental well-being"
Explanation: Replacing "good strength could also make people have better mentality" with "good physical strength can also improve mental well-being" corrects the awkward phrasing and uses more precise terms ("physical strength" and "mental well-being").
"people contain more positive emotions" -> "people experience more positive emotions"
Explanation: Changing "people contain more positive emotions" to "people experience more positive emotions" corrects the misuse of "contain," which is not appropriate in this context.
"Doing exercises could carries the risk of severe injuries" -> "Engaging in exercise carries the risk of severe injuries"
Explanation: Correcting "Doing exercises could carries" to "Engaging in exercise carries" fixes a grammatical error and uses a more formal verb form.
"Participating any sports or exercises" -> "Participating in any sports or exercises"
Explanation: Adding "in" corrects a grammatical error, making the phrase grammatically correct.
"overtraining could lead to adverse influences on our body" -> "overtraining can lead to adverse effects on the body"
Explanation: Replacing "could lead to adverse influences on our body" with "can lead to adverse effects on the body" uses more precise language ("effects" instead of "influences") and corrects the possessive form ("our body" to "the body").
"broken legs" -> "broken limbs"
Explanation: Replacing "broken legs" with "broken limbs" broadens the scope to include other types of injuries beyond just legs, aligning with the context of general physical harm.
"traders would have to pay a big amount of money on playing sports" -> "participants would need to incur significant expenses for sports"
Explanation: Changing "traders would have to pay a big amount of money on playing sports" to "participants would need to incur significant expenses for sports" corrects the misuse of "traders" and uses more formal and precise language ("incur significant expenses").
"equipmens" -> "equipment"
Explanation: Correcting "equipmens" to "equipment" fixes a spelling error.
"people could be injured while playing it" -> "individuals may suffer injuries while engaging in these activities"
Explanation: Replacing "people could be injured while playing it" with "individuals may suffer injuries while engaging in these activities" uses more formal language and avoids the vague reference to "it."

These changes enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of playing sports and participating in physical exercises, which is the core requirement of the prompt. The advantages are discussed in the first half, highlighting benefits such as improved physical health, stamina, and mental well-being. The disadvantages are also covered, with points made about the risk of injuries and financial costs associated with sports. However, the discussion of disadvantages is less developed compared to the advantages, which could lead to an imbalance in the response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim to provide a more balanced exploration of both sides. This could involve adding more specific examples or elaborating on the disadvantages, perhaps by discussing the psychological impact of injuries or the long-term financial implications of sports participation.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a general position that emphasizes the importance of physical exercise for a healthy lifestyle. However, the conclusion somewhat contradicts the earlier points by suggesting that while exercise is necessary, it also presents significant drawbacks. This could confuse readers about the writer’s overall stance.
- How to improve: To present a clearer position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and reinforce it throughout the essay. They could include transitional phrases that guide the reader through their argument and clarify how the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the benefits of sports, such as physical well-being and improved mental health, and supports them with examples. However, the support for these ideas could be stronger. For instance, the mention of "positive emotions" could be backed by research or statistics to add credibility. The disadvantages, while mentioned, lack depth and specific examples that would enhance the argument.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to extend their ideas by providing more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, they could discuss specific sports-related injuries or provide statistics on the costs of sports participation. This would not only enrich the content but also make the arguments more persuasive.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of sports and physical exercises. However, there are moments where the language becomes vague or slightly off-topic, such as the phrase "give make people have physical well-being," which could confuse readers and detracts from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each sentence directly relates to the advantages or disadvantages being discussed. They should also avoid vague language and strive for clarity in their expressions. Proofreading for coherence and clarity can help in this regard.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and addresses the prompt adequately, improvements in balance, clarity, support, and focus would elevate the response to a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The advantages of participating in sports are outlined first, followed by the disadvantages. This logical progression helps the reader follow the argument. However, the transitions between points could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the benefits of physical well-being to the requirement of diligence is somewhat abrupt and could benefit from a clearer linking sentence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas. For instance, after discussing the benefits of physical well-being, a sentence like "In addition to these health benefits, participating in sports also fosters personal discipline" would create a smoother transition. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence can help guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, making it easier for the reader to digest the information. However, the second paragraph could be split into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the physical benefits and another on the psychological benefits. This would allow for a more detailed exploration of each point and improve clarity.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that related ideas are grouped together. For example, the discussion of physical well-being and mental health could be separated into two paragraphs, each starting with a strong topic sentence that encapsulates the main point. This will enhance the overall structure and readability of the essay.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "besides," "additionally," and "however," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be more explicit. For example, the phrase "In terms of finance" is a good attempt at cohesion, but it could be more seamlessly integrated into the flow of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "furthermore," "on the other hand," or "consequently" can help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts can enhance cohesion. For example, instead of repeating "physical exercises," you could use "these activities" in subsequent references to maintain flow.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion principles, there are areas for improvement that could elevate the score further. Focusing on smoother transitions, clearer paragraphing, and a broader range of cohesive devices will enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic of sports and physical exercise. Phrases such as "physical well-being," "diligence," and "positive emotions" indicate an attempt to use varied vocabulary. However, the use of terms like "profits" and "equipmens" shows a lack of precision and variety, as "profits" could be replaced with "benefits" or "advantages," and "equipmens" is a misspelling of "equipment."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "physical exercises," consider using "fitness activities" or "workouts." Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary, such as "enhance" instead of "improve," would elevate the essay’s lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "profits for humans’ health" is awkward and unclear; it would be more precise to say "benefits for human health." The term "doing exercises could carries" is grammatically incorrect and should be "doing exercises could carry." Such inaccuracies can confuse the reader and detract from the overall clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing word choices and ensuring they fit the context. Additionally, practicing with vocabulary exercises that emphasize context and usage can help refine this skill.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "dilligence," "excercises," and "equipmens." These mistakes can distract the reader and undermine the writer’s credibility. The misspelling of "diligence" and "exercises" indicates a need for careful proofreading.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy, such as reading the essay aloud or using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can help improve overall spelling skills. Engaging in regular writing practice and seeking feedback can also contribute to better spelling habits.

By addressing these areas, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in Lexical Resource for future IELTS essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "Participating in sports brings several profits to humans’ life" is a straightforward statement, while "By training themself, people would improve their strength and stamina, give them more energy to perform their best possibilities in working and studying tasks" attempts to combine multiple ideas. However, the overall range of structures is somewhat limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed, such as "which could be dangerous if trainers make any mistakes," which lacks clarity.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses effectively. For instance, instead of saying "Doing exercises could carries the risk of severe injuries," the writer could say, "Although doing exercises can improve health, it also carries the risk of severe injuries if proper precautions are not taken." Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and using transitional phrases can help create a more engaging flow.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors that detract from its clarity and professionalism. For example, "profits for humans’ health" should be "benefits for human health," and "doing exercises could carries" should be "doing exercises could carry." There are also punctuation issues, such as missing commas in compound sentences and incorrect use of apostrophes in "humans’ life." The phrase "Inspite of" should be "In spite of," and "equipmens" is a misspelling of "equipment."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work to catch common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and spelling mistakes. Additionally, practicing the correct use of punctuation, especially in complex sentences, will enhance clarity. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also help identify persistent issues. Finally, studying common grammatical structures and their correct usage can build a stronger foundation for writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic and attempts to present both advantages and disadvantages of physical exercise, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

Engaging in physical exercise is always a crucial part of living a healthy lifestyle. While participating in these activities greatly benefits human health, it still has some drawbacks.

Participating in sports brings several advantages to people’s lives. One of them is that it enhances physical well-being. By training themselves, individuals can improve their strength and stamina, which gives them more energy to perform optimally in their work and study tasks. Besides, playing sports requires diligence and a healthy lifestyle. For instance, sports players have to strictly follow their diet and training schedule. Additionally, good physical strength can also improve mental well-being. It is proven that people experience more positive emotions when they start to practice exercises daily.

In spite of the aforementioned benefits, there are some disadvantages related to physical exercise. Engaging in exercise carries the risk of severe injuries. Participating in any sports or exercises usually requires a lot of strength, which can be dangerous if trainers make any mistakes. Moreover, overtraining can lead to adverse effects on the body, as well as serious consequences such as having a heart attack or broken limbs. In terms of finance, participants would need to incur significant expenses for sports. There are a plethora of costs associated with sports: equipment, training locations, and even trainers to ensure people can practice in safer conditions.

In conclusion, it is necessary for people who want to have a healthy lifestyle to take part in exercises. Thus, they can achieve a sense of physical as well as mental well-being. However, individuals may suffer injuries while engaging in these activities, not to mention the financial implications.