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Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this is happening? And how can we solve this problem?

Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this is happening? And how can we solve this problem?

It goes without saying that food wasted is one of the matter of considerable concerns in the world and it has detrimental impact to human’s lives. This essay may provide insight into the drives behind this complicated issue and propose some possible solutions to avoid them.

To begin with, it is irrefutable that the economic globalization has led to the dramatic increases in standard of living. However, it may prompt the falling in food price which results in many individuals has ordered plenty of dishes uncontrollably. For instance, if people became richer, they would consider foodstuffs are inexpensive and purchase many extra food without careful assessment of the cost. Besides, people are even busy that they not only can not consume all their food they had bought before but also produce many leftovers.

Nevertheless, there are many effective measures to combat with food wasted. I believe that tackling this problem necessitates the government intervention. For example, the authority should stimulate people to donate their unused food to charity in order to support poor people. In addition, punishment for people wasting food need to be enacted by the administration to decrease the amount of leftovers. Moreover, restaurants and food retailers can lend a helping hand by creating posters with saving food content and arranging them in community place to boost consumers’s awareness about the essentials of food to prevent wasting.

In conclusion, there are wide range of reasons leading to food wasted which can threaten humanity. This negative trend may be avoidable if the government takes action immediately and consumers have to purchase their food responsibly and selectively.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "It goes without saying that food wasted is one of the matter of considerable concerns in the world and it has detrimental impact to human’s lives."
    -> "It is undeniable that food wastage is a matter of significant concern worldwide, with detrimental impacts on human lives."
    Explanation: Replacing "It goes without saying that" with "It is undeniable that" adds a formal touch, and changing "food wasted" to "food wastage" enhances precision. Also, replacing "impact to human’s lives" with "impacts on human lives" improves grammatical accuracy and formality.

  2. "This essay may provide insight into the drives behind this complicated issue and propose some possible solutions to avoid them."
    -> "This essay aims to explore the factors contributing to this complex issue and propose viable solutions to mitigate it."
    Explanation: The suggested changes make the sentence more direct and academically precise. Replacing "may provide insight into" with "aims to explore" adds clarity and purpose, and changing "avoid them" to "mitigate it" is more specific and formal.

  3. "To begin with, it is irrefutable that the economic globalization has led to the dramatic increases in standard of living."
    -> "To commence, it is indisputable that economic globalization has significantly elevated the standard of living."
    Explanation: Substituting "To begin with" with "To commence" maintains formality, and replacing "irrefutable" with "indisputable" enhances precision. Changing "dramatic increases in standard of living" to "significantly elevated the standard of living" adds nuance and clarity.

  4. "However, it may prompt the falling in food price which results in many individuals has ordered plenty of dishes uncontrollably."
    -> "However, it may lead to a decline in food prices, resulting in individuals ordering an excessive number of dishes without restraint."
    Explanation: The suggested changes improve the sentence’s structure and formality. Replacing "prompt the falling in" with "lead to a decline in" adds precision, and changing "has ordered" to "ordering" improves grammatical accuracy.

  5. "For instance, if people became richer, they would consider foodstuffs are inexpensive and purchase many extra food without careful assessment of the cost."
    -> "For example, as individuals accumulate wealth, they may perceive foodstuffs as inexpensive, leading to the excessive purchase of extra food without careful cost assessment."
    Explanation: The changes enhance clarity and formality. Substituting "For instance" with "For example" is more formal, and rephrasing "if people became richer" to "as individuals accumulate wealth" adds sophistication.

  6. "Besides, people are even busy that they not only can not consume all their food they had bought before but also produce many leftovers."
    -> "Moreover, individuals are so busy that they not only struggle to consume all the food they had purchased but also generate significant leftovers."
    Explanation: Changing "Besides" to "Moreover" adds variety, and rephrasing "can not" to "struggle to" improves formality. Additionally, the changes enhance the overall flow and precision of the sentence.

  7. "Nevertheless, there are many effective measures to combat with food wasted."
    -> "Nevertheless, there are numerous effective measures to combat food wastage."
    Explanation: Removing "with" after "combat" improves grammatical accuracy. The revised sentence is more concise and maintains a formal tone.

  8. "I believe that tackling this problem necessitates the government intervention."
    -> "I contend that addressing this issue requires government intervention."
    Explanation: Substituting "believe" with "contend" adds a more assertive tone, and changing "necessitates" to "requires" maintains formality and clarity.

  9. "In addition, punishment for people wasting food need to be enacted by the administration to decrease the amount of leftovers."
    -> "Additionally, the administration should enact penalties for food wastage to reduce the amount of leftovers."
    Explanation: The changes improve the sentence’s structure and formality. Replacing "punishment for people wasting food need to be enacted" with "penalties for food wastage should be enacted" is more concise and clear.

  10. "Moreover, restaurants and food retailers can lend a helping hand by creating posters with saving food content and arranging them in community place to boost consumers’s awareness about the essentials of food to prevent wasting."
    -> "Furthermore, restaurants and food retailers can contribute by creating posters promoting food conservation and placing them in communal areas to enhance consumer awareness of the importance of preventing food wastage."
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance the formality and precision of the sentence. Substituting "lend a helping hand" with "contribute" adds a more formal tone, and rephrasing "consumers’s awareness" to "consumer awareness" improves grammatical accuracy.

  11. "In conclusion, there are wide range of reasons leading to food wasted which can threaten humanity."
    -> "In conclusion, a wide range of factors contribute to food wastage, posing a threat to humanity."
    Explanation: Replacing "there are wide range of reasons leading to" with "a wide range of factors contribute to" improves precision, and changing "food wasted" to "food wastage" maintains consistency in terminology. The revised sentence is more concise and formal.

  12. "This negative trend may be avoidable if the government takes action immediately and consumers have to purchase their food responsibly and selectively."
    -> "This negative trend can be mitigated if the government takes immediate action, and consumers adopt a responsible and selective approach to purchasing food."
    Explanation: The changes enhance the formality and clarity of the sentence. Replacing "may be avoidable" with "can be mitigated" adds certainty, and rephrasing "consumers have to" to "consumers adopt" improves the overall tone and precision.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Task Response: 6

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay does address both parts of the question. It discusses the reasons behind food wastage and proposes some solutions. However, the explanation of these aspects lacks depth, and some ideas are not fully developed.
    • How to improve: To enhance this aspect, provide more detailed examples and elaborate on the proposed solutions. Ensure that every point made contributes directly to answering the question.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to take a stance, asserting that the government should intervene and individuals should purchase food responsibly. However, the position is not consistently maintained throughout the essay. At times, the ideas are somewhat vague and not strongly connected to the asserted position.
    • How to improve: Strengthen the thesis statement and ensure that each paragraph aligns with and reinforces the essay’s position. Clearly state the viewpoint in the introduction and revisit it in the conclusion for a more cohesive argument.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The ideas in the essay are somewhat underdeveloped. For instance, the impact of economic globalization on food prices and people becoming busier are mentioned but not thoroughly explored or supported with specific examples.
    • How to improve: Elaborate on each idea with concrete examples, statistics, or anecdotes to make the arguments more persuasive and convincing. This will also contribute to a more comprehensive and well-supported essay.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the issue of food wastage. However, there are instances of unclear or irrelevant points, such as the mention of economic globalization’s impact on the standard of living.
    • How to improve: Maintain a sharper focus on the prompt. Remove tangential points that do not directly contribute to the discussion of why food wastage occurs and how it can be solved.

In conclusion, while the essay touches upon the key elements of the prompt, it can benefit from more detailed explanations, a consistently maintained position, better-developed ideas, and a more focused approach to the topic. These improvements will contribute to a more cohesive and effective response to the essay prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng:

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng:

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng:

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