Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this is happening? And how can we solve this problem?
These days, a great amount of food bought from shops and restaurants is being thrown away irresponsibly. This situation is occurring due to a number of reasons, and there are several feasible solutions that could be adopted to mitigate this problem.
There are two major reasons why food is being wasted. To begin with, thanks to advanced agricultural technologies, farming has become increasingly mechanised, which accelerates production and helps to maximize harvests. At the same time, the way food is transported, stored and distributed has also become more and more streamlined than ever before. As a result, the price of food in shops and restaurants has reduced significantly, making it all the easier for consumers to purchase large quantities of food, and waste it without a second thought. Another reason for this situation is because consumers are failing to make a detailed plan of what they are going to buy before they shop. Consequently, their shopping carts are often full of food products that they might never use.
Some effective measures could be implemented to alleviate this situation. The first solution would be for restaurants to make their customers think twice about what dishes they are going to order. This can be done by imposing a heavy fine on diners who order too many dishes but cannot finish them. Another feasible solution is that people should develop a habit of making a list of ingredients and foodstuffs that they really need before going shopping. This would help consumers to have time to prepare carefully and decide wisely what food items should be bought, which would prevent a great deal of food from being thrown away.
In conclusion, increasingly cheaper food products and poor meal planning are two primary reasons contributing to the huge amount of food waste occurring these days. Fortunately, there are various effective solutions to tackle this issue, including penalizing restaurant customers who waste food and making detailed shopping lists.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
"a great amount of" -> "a substantial quantity of"
Explanation: Replacing "a great amount of" with "a substantial quantity of" elevates the formality of the expression, providing a more sophisticated and academic tone.
"irresponsibly" -> "in a negligent manner"
Explanation: Changing "irresponsibly" to "in a negligent manner" maintains formality by using a more precise term that avoids colloquialism.
"To begin with" -> "Firstly"
Explanation: Substituting "To begin with" with "Firstly" is a more formal transition, aligning with academic writing conventions.
"accelerates" -> "facilitates"
Explanation: Replacing "accelerates" with "facilitates" maintains clarity while using a more refined term, enhancing the academic tone.
"all the easier" -> "easier"
Explanation: Removing "all the" simplifies the expression without sacrificing meaning, contributing to a more concise and formal writing style.
"without a second thought" -> "without careful consideration"
Explanation: Substituting "without a second thought" with "without careful consideration" introduces a more deliberate and formal phrasing.
"fail" -> "neglect"
Explanation: Changing "fail" to "neglect" provides a more formal alternative, enhancing the precision and formality of the sentence.
"detailed plan" -> "comprehensive plan"
Explanation: Replacing "detailed plan" with "comprehensive plan" adds a layer of sophistication to the language, aligning with academic standards.
"going to buy" -> "intending to purchase"
Explanation: Substituting "going to buy" with "intending to purchase" offers a more formal expression, enhancing the academic style.
"shopping carts" -> "grocery carts"
Explanation: Changing "shopping carts" to "grocery carts" introduces a more formal term commonly used in academic writing.
"can be done by" -> "can be achieved by"
Explanation: Replacing "can be done by" with "can be achieved by" maintains clarity while employing a more formal phrase.
"effective measures" -> "effective strategies"
Explanation: Substituting "effective measures" with "effective strategies" enhances formality without compromising clarity.
"imposing a heavy fine" -> "levying a substantial penalty"
Explanation: Changing "imposing a heavy fine" to "levying a substantial penalty" adds a formal touch and precision to the language.
"feasible solution" -> "viable solution"
Explanation: Replacing "feasible solution" with "viable solution" maintains the meaning while using a more formal and precise term.
"develop a habit of" -> "cultivate the habit of"
Explanation: Substituting "develop a habit of" with "cultivate the habit of" introduces a more formal expression, aligning with academic language conventions.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both aspects of the prompt. It discusses the reasons behind food waste and proposes feasible solutions to mitigate the problem. The analysis of reasons includes factors related to production, distribution, and consumer behavior, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
- How to improve: While the essay is strong in addressing all parts of the question, a more nuanced exploration of the reasons behind food waste, such as the environmental impact or global consequences, could further enhance the depth of the analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent position throughout. It asserts that cheaper food prices and poor meal planning are the primary reasons for food waste and advocates for solutions such as fines for restaurant customers and creating detailed shopping lists.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, consider explicitly stating the thesis in the introduction and summarizing it in the conclusion. This can help to reinforce the central argument.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas logically and supports them with examples. The discussion on mechanized farming and streamlined distribution supports the claim about cheaper food prices. Similarly, the proposed solutions are grounded in real-world actions, such as imposing fines on diners.
- How to improve: To enhance idea development, consider providing additional examples or data to further illustrate the impact of mechanized farming or the success of similar measures in reducing food waste.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the prompt directly. However, there is a brief mention of the impact of advanced agricultural technologies on production efficiency, which could be expanded upon to provide a more comprehensive explanation.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, elaborate on the connection between advanced agricultural technologies and the increase in food production, explaining how this contributes to lower prices and, consequently, higher food waste.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt, presenting clear arguments and practical solutions. To further improve, consider delving deeper into the reasons for food waste and providing additional examples or evidence to support the ideas presented.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that outlines the issue and then follows a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for reasons and solutions. The progression of ideas is understandable, with a smooth transition between the causes and suggested solutions.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider providing a stronger and more explicit thesis statement in the introduction. This can help set a clear roadmap for the reader and guide them through the essay’s main points more effectively.
- Detailed explanation: The essay is adequately paragraphed, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing reasons and solutions, and a conclusion. However, some paragraphs could be more focused on a single main idea, especially in the body section.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph has a central theme and supports it cohesively. Avoid mixing multiple ideas within one paragraph. This will enhance clarity and make it easier for the reader to follow the essay’s structure.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as ‘To begin with,’ and ‘Another reason.’ Additionally, there is an attempt to use transition phrases like ‘In conclusion.’ While these contribute to cohesion, there is room for more varied and sophisticated cohesive devices.
- How to improve: Expand the use of cohesive devices to include a wider range of transitions, pronouns, and conjunctions. This will create a more sophisticated flow between sentences and paragraphs. For instance, consider using transitional phrases like ‘Furthermore’ or ‘Moreover’ to add nuance and complexity to the essay’s structure.
In summary, the essay effectively organizes information with a logical progression, maintains appropriate paragraphing, and utilizes basic cohesive devices. To improve, focus on strengthening the thesis statement for clearer guidance, ensure paragraphs have a singular focus, and diversify the use of cohesive devices for a more nuanced essay structure.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary. It covers the topic with a variety of words and expressions, but there is room for improvement in introducing more nuanced and sophisticated vocabulary. For instance, the repeated use of phrases such as "food is being wasted" and "reasons contributing to" could be diversified to enhance lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the score, consider incorporating more diverse synonyms and expressions. Instead of consistently using "wasted," explore alternatives like "squandered," "discarded," or "misused" where appropriate. Additionally, aim to introduce more advanced vocabulary related to the topic, such as specific terms in agriculture, economics, or consumer behavior.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary appropriately but occasionally lacks precision. For instance, the phrase "farming has become increasingly mechanised" could benefit from more precise terms like "automation" or "technological advancements in agriculture." Ensuring that terminology aligns precisely with the intended meaning would elevate the overall lexical precision.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to the specific terms related to the topic and use them accurately. Avoid vague or generic expressions and opt for terms that precisely convey the intended message. Proofreading the essay with a focus on replacing general terms with more specific vocabulary would enhance precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits accurate spelling, with only a few minor errors. For instance, "meal planning" is correctly spelled, but there is a need for improvement in the phrase "misused," which should be "misplaced." These minor spelling errors do not significantly impact understanding but should be addressed for a higher score.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, thorough proofreading is essential. Utilize spelling and grammar-check tools, paying attention to commonly misspelled words. Additionally, a careful review of the essay, focusing on specific terms, will help identify and rectify any spelling errors. Developing a habit of revising written work systematically can contribute to improved spelling accuracy.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary and spelling, incorporating a more diverse range of words, ensuring precise usage, and addressing minor spelling errors will enhance the lexical resource score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
Use a Wide Range of Structures:
Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and a mix of simple and compound structures. For example, the author employs advanced structures like "To begin with" to introduce a point and utilizes relative clauses ("which accelerates production") for additional information. However, there is room for improvement as the essay tends to rely on a moderate variety of sentence structures, and some sentences could be more complex to showcase a higher level of grammatical range.
How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and variety, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures such as conditional sentences, inverted sentences, or a mix of short and long sentences. For instance, instead of relying solely on basic cause-and-effect sentences, experiment with using conditional clauses to introduce hypothetical scenarios or employ parallelism to add balance and rhythm to your writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits a good level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are instances where minor errors and awkward phrasing affect the clarity of expression. For example, the sentence "making it all the easier for consumers to purchase large quantities of food, and waste it without a second thought" could be revised for smoother flow and clarity. Additionally, there are a few instances where articles and prepositions could be used more precisely.
How to improve: Pay close attention to sentence structure and phrasing, ensuring that ideas are expressed clearly and concisely. Review the usage of articles and prepositions, addressing any inconsistencies. Consider revising sentences for smoother flow, and use punctuation more strategically to enhance clarity. Proofreading and editing should be done carefully to catch and correct minor errors that may impact overall grammatical accuracy.
In conclusion, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammar and a reasonable range of structures, there is room for improvement in enhancing sentence variety and addressing minor grammatical errors for a more polished and sophisticated presentation.
Bài sửa mẫu
In contemporary times, a substantial quantity of food purchased from stores and eateries is being discarded in a negligent manner. This situation arises from multiple factors, and there exist several viable solutions that could be implemented to address this issue.
Two main reasons contribute to food wastage. Firstly, owing to advanced agricultural technologies, farming has become increasingly mechanized, facilitating accelerated production and maximizing harvests. Simultaneously, the streamlined transportation, storage, and distribution of food have significantly reduced its price in shops and restaurants, making it easier for consumers to purchase larger quantities, often leading to wasteful practices without careful consideration. Another contributing factor is the lack of a comprehensive plan among consumers regarding their purchases, resulting in grocery carts filled with products that may never be utilized.
To mitigate this situation, effective strategies can be adopted. Firstly, restaurants can encourage customers to think twice about their orders by levying a substantial penalty on those who order excessively but cannot finish their meals. Additionally, individuals should cultivate the habit of preparing a detailed list of needed ingredients before intending to purchase. This simple practice can provide consumers with the time to make thoughtful decisions, preventing the unnecessary disposal of a substantial amount of food.
In conclusion, the combination of increasingly affordable food products and inadequate meal planning contributes significantly to the prevalent issue of food waste. Fortunately, viable solutions, such as imposing penalties on wasteful restaurant patrons and promoting the use of detailed shopping lists, can play a crucial role in addressing this problem.