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Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do agree or disagree?

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do agree or disagree?

In today's society, the question of whether or not we need to use animals for food to have a balanced diet has sparked a degree of controversy among people. Although I recognize the potential health benefits associated with being a vegetarian, I contend that this lifestyle may not be suitable for everyone.

On the one hand, the option to be a vegetarian is attractive for several reasons. The first reason is that this tendency gives people a great chance to save on their food expenses due to the less expeIn contemporary society, an increasing number of individuals opt for vegetarianism as a means to enhance their health, which has sparked controversy among the public. Although I recognize the potential health benefits associated with such a dietary approach, I contend that a vegetarian lifestyle may not be appropriate for everyone.

There are several benefits of being vegetarian. Firstly, since there are many types of vegetables that can provide people with enough nutrition, it has become less necessary for people to eat meat. For example, potatoes and beans are two popular dishes for families in England because of the large amount of calories they can provide. Secondly, vegetables and fruits contain vitamins that are highly beneficial for people. For instance, it has been proven that eating an apple every day can help individuals improve their health and avoid illness. Finally, if more people refuse to eat meat, fewer animals will be slaughtered.

However, I believe this tendency is not suitable for everyone. First, it is not advisable for children to become vegetarian. As they are in the process of growing up, they need to eat a wide range of food, including meat which contains essential nutrients, to improve their physical health. If children only eat vegetables, they might become less healthy than they should be. Furthermore, athletes are the people who should not be vegetarian. Since their job involves intense training on a regular basis, they need to consume meat such as beef or pork which provides them with enough calories.

In conclusion, while I concur that adopting a vegetarian diet can promote a healthier lifestyle, I contend that it is not a universally applicable solution. Individual dietary choices should be informed by one's specific health requirements, age, and lifestyle, rather than conforming to a singular dietary paradigm.nsive cost of vegetables compared to the price of various kinds of meat. For instance, my family has to spend around 2 million dong for buying various kinds of food, such as meat, fish, and vegetables per month, while my aunt, who does not prefer eating meat in her daily meals, can reduce by half the amount of money that my family needs to pay. Moreover, scientists have proven that eating a variety of vegetables can help people to have a lower risk of illness, especially diseases that are caused by the redundancy of protein, such as heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and a number of forms of cancer. This is due to the fact that this diet brings a wide range of nutritional needs for humans. For example, with a bowl of raw spinach, people can be provided with a source of vitamins, calcium, and fiber, which is as much as in a kilogram of meat.

On the other hand, despite the above-mentioned ideas, I believe that being a vegetarian is not suitable for everyone. The first reason is that just eating vegetables can become the main reason for the lack of energy to carry out daily exercises or activities. If an athlete chooses a diet without eating meat or eggs, it can make them feel tired or exhausted due to not having enough energy to join the high-intensity training. Especially children, they have to have nutritious meals, especially various kinds of protein from animal meat to ensure the full development of height, weight, and intelligence. Moreover, due to the shortage of cooking recipes for vegetarian diets, it can make people have a loss of appetite, which might seriously affect their mental health. To be more specific, my sister, after a short time of using a vegetarian diet for losing her weight, she now changed to a traditional diet as she feels uncomfortable, which leads to her skipping meals.

In conclusion, to me, it seems evident that a vegetarian diet has its own unique advantages such as saving money or avoiding being affected by some diseases, which are the results of the overconsumption of protein. However, I maintain that this diet is not appropriate for everyone, especially children or athletes who have high-intensity training since it does not provide enough energy to do daily routines or to exercise and also reduces the motivation of eating.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "In today’s society" -> "In contemporary society"
    Explanation: "Contemporary" is a more precise and academically formal term than "today’s," which is somewhat informal and vague.

  2. "the question of whether or not" -> "the debate surrounding"
    Explanation: "The debate surrounding" is a more concise and formal way to introduce a topic of discussion, avoiding the redundancy of "whether or not."

  3. "has sparked a degree of controversy" -> "has generated significant controversy"
    Explanation: "Generated significant controversy" is more precise and formal, emphasizing the intensity of the debate.

  4. "I contend that this lifestyle may not be suitable for everyone" -> "I argue that this lifestyle may not be universally applicable"
    Explanation: "Universally applicable" is a more precise term that conveys the idea that the suitability of the lifestyle is not limited to specific individuals or groups.

  5. "The first reason is that this tendency gives people a great chance to save on their food expenses" -> "The first advantage is that this lifestyle offers significant cost savings on food"
    Explanation: "Offers significant cost savings" is more formal and precise than "gives people a great chance to save," which is somewhat informal and vague.

  6. "less expeIn" -> "less expensive"
    Explanation: Corrects a typographical error and uses the correct adjective "expensive" for clarity and formality.

  7. "opt for vegetarianism" -> "adopt a vegetarian lifestyle"
    Explanation: "Adopt a vegetarian lifestyle" is a more formal and precise phrase than "opt for vegetarianism."

  8. "has sparked controversy among the public" -> "has generated public controversy"
    Explanation: "Generated public controversy" is a more formal and direct way to express the impact on the public.

  9. "I recognize the potential health benefits" -> "I acknowledge the potential health benefits"
    Explanation: "Acknowledge" is a more formal synonym for "recognize," fitting better in academic writing.

  10. "a vegetarian lifestyle may not be appropriate for everyone" -> "a vegetarian lifestyle may not be universally suitable"
    Explanation: "Universally suitable" is a more precise and formal expression than "appropriate for everyone."

  11. "Firstly, since there are many types of vegetables" -> "Firstly, as there are numerous types of vegetables"
    Explanation: "Numerous" is more formal than "many," and "as" is more appropriate than "since" in this context.

  12. "it has become less necessary for people to eat meat" -> "it is no longer essential for individuals to consume meat"
    Explanation: "No longer essential" and "consume" are more formal and precise than "less necessary" and "eat."

  13. "For instance, it has been proven that eating an apple a day" -> "For example, research has shown that consuming an apple daily"
    Explanation: "Research has shown" is more formal and precise than "it has been proven," and "daily" is more formal than "a day."

  14. "fewer animals will be slaughtered" -> "fewer animals will be slaughtered"
    Explanation: This is a factual statement and does not require modification for formality.

  15. "First, it is not advisable for children to become vegetarian" -> "First, it is not advisable for children to adopt a vegetarian diet"
    Explanation: "Adopt a vegetarian diet" is more specific and formal than "become vegetarian."

  16. "they need to eat a wide range of food" -> "they require a diverse range of foods"
    Explanation: "Require a diverse range of foods" is more formal and precise than "need to eat a wide range of food."

  17. "If children only eat vegetables" -> "If children consume only vegetables"
    Explanation: "Consume" is more formal than "eat," and "only" is more precise in this context.

  18. "they might become less healthy than they should be" -> "they may become less healthy than optimal"
    Explanation: "Optimal" is a more precise and formal term than "they should be."

  19. "athletes are the people who should not be vegetarian" -> "athletes are individuals who should not adopt a vegetarian diet"
    Explanation: "Individuals who should not adopt a vegetarian diet" is more formal and precise than "the people who should not be vegetarian."

  20. "they need to consume meat such as beef or pork" -> "they require meat such as beef or pork"
    Explanation: "Require" is more formal than "need," and "meat" is more precise than "meat such as."

  21. "I concur that adopting a vegetarian diet" -> "I agree that adopting a vegetarian diet"
    Explanation: "Agree" is a more commonly used academic term than "concur."

  22. "it is not a universally applicable solution" -> "it is not universally applicable"
    Explanation: "Universally applicable" is a more concise and formal expression.

  23. "one’s specific health requirements, age, and lifestyle" -> "one’s unique health requirements, age, and lifestyle"
    Explanation: "Unique" adds a level of specificity and formality to the description of individual characteristics.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages of vegetarianism and the reasons why it may not be suitable for everyone. The writer effectively presents the argument for vegetarianism, citing health benefits and cost savings, while also acknowledging the needs of specific groups such as children and athletes. However, the essay could have more explicitly stated whether the author agrees or disagrees with the notion that everyone should become vegetarian, as the position is somewhat ambiguous.
    • How to improve: To enhance clarity, the writer should explicitly state their position in the introduction and conclusion. For example, a clear statement such as "I disagree that everyone should become vegetarian" would help to frame the argument more definitively. Additionally, ensuring that each point made directly relates back to the question will strengthen the response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a generally clear position that vegetarianism is not suitable for everyone. However, the introduction introduces some ambiguity by discussing the health benefits of vegetarianism without firmly establishing a stance until later in the essay. The conclusion reiterates the main points but could be more assertive in reinforcing the writer’s position.
    • How to improve: To present a clearer position, the writer should consistently use language that reinforces their stance throughout the essay. Phrases like "I believe" or "It is my opinion" can be used more frequently to remind the reader of the author’s viewpoint. Additionally, the introduction should be revised to clearly state the writer’s disagreement with the prompt.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas in favor of vegetarianism, such as health benefits and cost savings, and supports them with examples. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration. For instance, while the author mentions that children need a variety of foods, they could provide more specific examples of essential nutrients found in meat that are crucial for growth.
    • How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing the nutritional needs of children, including specific vitamins or minerals found in meat (like iron or vitamin B12) would strengthen the argument. Additionally, expanding on the consequences of a vegetarian diet for athletes could provide a more robust support for the claims made.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the pros and cons of vegetarianism in relation to the prompt. However, there are instances where the discussion becomes slightly tangential, such as the mention of personal anecdotes about family members without clear relevance to the broader argument.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all examples and anecdotes directly support the main argument. Personal stories can be effective, but they should be clearly tied back to the thesis. The writer could also consider using more general examples that apply to a wider audience rather than specific family experiences.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view. With some adjustments to clarity, elaboration, and focus, it could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides of the argument, and a conclusion. The points are generally well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the vegetarian debate. For example, the first body paragraph outlines the benefits of vegetarianism, while the second addresses its drawbacks. However, there are instances of repetition and some ideas could be more effectively sequenced. For instance, the discussion about the cost savings of vegetarianism is mentioned in both the introduction and the first body paragraph, which could confuse the reader.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer should aim to eliminate redundancy by ensuring that each point is introduced only once and is developed fully in its respective paragraph. Additionally, using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with a clear distinction between the introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph contains a main idea, supported by examples. However, some paragraphs could be further divided to improve clarity. For example, the second body paragraph is quite lengthy and covers multiple points about why vegetarianism may not be suitable for everyone, which can overwhelm the reader.
    • How to improve: Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones that focus on a single idea. This will make the essay easier to read and understand. For instance, the discussion about children and athletes could be separated into two distinct paragraphs, each focusing on the specific needs of these groups.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "However," which help to connect ideas and guide the reader through the argument. However, there are moments where the transitions could be smoother. For example, the transition between the benefits of vegetarianism and the counterarguments could be more fluid, as the shift feels somewhat abrupt.
    • How to improve: To improve cohesion, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as "In addition," "On the contrary," or "Conversely," to create smoother transitions between contrasting ideas. Additionally, using pronouns and synonyms can help maintain coherence without repeating the same terms, making the writing feel more sophisticated.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, addressing the points mentioned above can further enhance clarity and flow, potentially leading to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "vegetarianism," "nutritional needs," and "high-intensity training." However, there are instances of repetition, such as the frequent use of "vegetarian" and "meat," which limits the lexical variety. Additionally, phrases like "great chance" and "less necessary" could be replaced with more sophisticated alternatives to enhance the essay’s overall lexical richness.
    • How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "vegetarian," they could use "plant-based diet" or "meat-free lifestyle." Additionally, expanding the vocabulary around health and nutrition (e.g., "nutrient-dense," "dietary choices") would enrich the essay.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some precise vocabulary, such as "essential nutrients" and "balanced diet." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "the redundancy of protein," which could confuse readers, as it suggests an overabundance rather than the potential health risks of excessive protein consumption. The phrase "the option to be a vegetarian is attractive" could also be more accurately expressed as "the choice of vegetarianism offers several appealing benefits."
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should ensure that vocabulary accurately conveys the intended meaning. For example, instead of "redundancy of protein," they could say "excessive protein intake." Additionally, using specific terms related to nutrition and health can clarify arguments and strengthen the essay.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with few errors. However, there is a notable misspelling of "expeIn" which appears to be a typographical error. Such mistakes can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, ideally reading it aloud to catch any typographical errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and maintaining a list of commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Regular practice with vocabulary exercises can help reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and employs a reasonable range of vocabulary, there are opportunities for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By incorporating more diverse vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and carefully proofreading for spelling errors, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, the writer effectively uses complex sentences such as, “Although I recognize the potential health benefits associated with being a vegetarian, I contend that this lifestyle may not be suitable for everyone.” This showcases the ability to combine ideas and express nuanced opinions. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in “If children only eat vegetables, they might become less healthy than they should be,” further enhances the complexity of the writing. However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures, such as inversion or varied clause placements, which could elevate the overall range.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied sentence openings and use different grammatical forms. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with “Firstly,” “Secondly,” etc., the writer could use phrases like “To begin with,” or “In addition to this,” to create a more engaging flow. Additionally, experimenting with more complex structures, such as relative clauses or participial phrases, could enhance the sophistication of the writing.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For example, the phrase “the option to be a vegetarian is attractive for several reasons” is grammatically correct, but the subsequent sentence contains a typographical error: “expeIn” should be corrected to “expense.” Furthermore, punctuation is mostly accurate, though there are instances where commas could improve clarity, such as before “especially children” in “Especially children, they have to have nutritious meals.” This could lead to confusion regarding the subject of the sentence.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch typographical errors and ensure that all sentences are complete and coherent. Additionally, focusing on punctuation rules, particularly regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will help improve clarity. For instance, reviewing comma usage in introductory phrases or clauses can prevent run-on sentences and enhance the overall readability of the essay.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, achieving a high band score. By incorporating more varied sentence structures and refining grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can further enhance their writing quality.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s society, the question of whether or not we need to use animals for food to have a balanced diet has sparked a degree of controversy among people. Although I acknowledge the potential health benefits associated with being a vegetarian, I contend that this lifestyle may not be suitable for everyone.

On the one hand, the option to be a vegetarian is attractive for several reasons. The first advantage is that this lifestyle offers significant cost savings on food due to the less expensive cost of vegetables compared to the price of various kinds of meat. For instance, my family has to spend around 2 million dong on various kinds of food, such as meat, fish, and vegetables per month, while my aunt, who does not prefer eating meat in her daily meals, can reduce her expenses by half. Moreover, scientists have proven that eating a variety of vegetables can help people lower their risk of illness, especially diseases caused by excessive protein intake, such as heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and several forms of cancer. This is due to the fact that this diet meets a wide range of nutritional needs for humans. For example, with a bowl of raw spinach, people can obtain a source of vitamins, calcium, and fiber, which is comparable to that found in a kilogram of meat.

However, I believe this tendency is not suitable for everyone. First, it is not advisable for children to adopt a vegetarian diet. As they are in the process of growing up, they need to eat a wide range of foods, including meat, which contains essential nutrients to support their physical health. If children consume only vegetables, they might become less healthy than optimal. Furthermore, athletes are individuals who should not adopt a vegetarian diet. Since their job involves intense training on a regular basis, they need to consume meat such as beef or pork, which provides them with enough calories.

In conclusion, while I concur that adopting a vegetarian diet can promote a healthier lifestyle, I contend that it is not a universally applicable solution. Individual dietary choices should be informed by one’s specific health requirements, age, and lifestyle, rather than conforming to a singular dietary paradigm.

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