Fast food has become more common in recent years. Some people think that it has a negative effect on lifestyles and diets. Do you agree or disagree?

Fast food has become more common in recent years. Some people think that it has a negative effect on lifestyles and diets.

Do you agree or disagree?

Fast food is one of the popular dish now, because it is very convenient so it suitables with busy people. Besides it tastes delicious so it attracts everyone, both adult and children. But some individuals assume that fast food has bad effects on our healthy and lifestyle. Personally, i agree with this opinion based on some major reasons that are explained in this essay
Firstly, fast food contain rich-in fat so it will be easy put on weith when people eat a lot, besides if they eat regularly, it affects digestive like appendicitis because it contains high in carbohydrates
Secondly, they will bring a lot of diseases if they still are maintain a diet unhealthy. Moreover, They will lack of full of energy and feel tired and depressed. So they should exchange a diet
In short, they should get rid of bad habits and create many balanced diet and healthy to stronger and healthier

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Fast food is one of the popular dish now" -> "Fast food is one of the most popular dishes currently"
Explanation: "Dish" should be pluralized to "dishes" to match the plural context, and "now" is too informal and vague; "currently" is more precise and formal.
"it is very convenient so it suitables with busy people" -> "it is very convenient, making it suitable for busy individuals"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version corrects the grammar and uses "individuals" instead of "people" for a more formal tone.
"it tastes delicious so it attracts everyone, both adult and children" -> "it is delicious, attracting both adults and children"
Explanation: Removing "so" improves the flow and clarity of the sentence. Also, "adult" should be pluralized to "adults" for grammatical correctness.
"some individuals assume that fast food has bad effects on our healthy and lifestyle" -> "some individuals believe that fast food has adverse effects on our health and lifestyle"
Explanation: "Assume" is less formal than "believe," and "our healthy" should be "our health" for grammatical accuracy. "Adverse effects" is a more precise term than "bad effects."
"Personally, i agree with this opinion" -> "Personally, I agree with this viewpoint"
Explanation: Capitalizing "I" corrects the grammatical error, and "viewpoint" is a more formal synonym for "opinion."
"fast food contain rich-in fat" -> "fast food is rich in fat"
Explanation: "Contain" should be "is" for grammatical correctness, and "rich-in" should be "rich in" for proper adjectival usage.
"it will be easy put on weith when people eat a lot" -> "it is likely to lead to weight gain when people consume excessively"
Explanation: "Will be easy put on weith" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revised phrase is more precise and formal.
"it affects digestive like appendicitis" -> "it can lead to digestive issues such as appendicitis"
Explanation: "Affects digestive like" is awkward and incorrect. The revised phrase is clearer and more formal.
"They will bring a lot of diseases" -> "They can lead to numerous health problems"
Explanation: "Bring a lot of diseases" is vague and informal. "Lead to numerous health problems" is more precise and formal.
"They will lack of full of energy" -> "They will lack full energy"
Explanation: "Lack of full of energy" is grammatically incorrect. "Lack full energy" corrects this and is more concise.
"feel tired and depressed" -> "feel tired and depressed"
Explanation: Removing the extra space corrects the spacing error, making the text more readable and formal.
"So they should exchange a diet" -> "Therefore, they should adopt a healthier diet"
Explanation: "Exchange a diet" is unclear and incorrect. "Adopt a healthier diet" is a clear and appropriate recommendation.
"They should get rid of bad habits and create many balanced diet and healthy to stronger and healthier" -> "They should eliminate unhealthy habits and adopt a balanced diet to become stronger and healthier"
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects these issues and uses more formal language.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by acknowledging the negative effects of fast food on lifestyles and diets, which aligns with the task’s requirement to express agreement or disagreement. However, the response lacks depth in exploring the reasons behind this stance. The mention of convenience and taste as reasons for fast food’s popularity is relevant but does not sufficiently counterbalance the negative effects discussed. The essay does not fully explore the implications of these effects or consider any opposing viewpoints, which would provide a more rounded response.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly outline both the positive and negative aspects of fast food, providing a more nuanced view. Including specific examples or statistics about health issues related to fast food consumption could strengthen the argument. Additionally, addressing potential counterarguments would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer states a personal agreement with the notion that fast food has negative effects, but this position is not consistently reinforced throughout the essay. The initial sentences focus on the popularity and convenience of fast food, which may confuse the reader about the writer’s stance. The use of "personally, I agree" is a good start, but the subsequent points do not consistently tie back to this agreement, leading to a lack of clarity.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently refer back to their agreement with the negative effects of fast food in each paragraph. Using transitional phrases like "This supports my view that…" or "Consequently…" can help reinforce the main argument. Additionally, ensuring that every point made directly relates to the thesis will create a more cohesive essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas regarding the health implications of fast food, such as weight gain and digestive issues. However, these ideas are not well-developed or supported with sufficient detail. For instance, the claim that fast food leads to appendicitis is not substantiated with evidence or explanation, making it difficult for the reader to understand the connection. The essay also lacks elaboration on how a poor diet can lead to fatigue and depression.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should provide more detailed explanations and examples for each point made. For instance, discussing specific diseases linked to fast food consumption or providing statistics on obesity rates could enhance the argument. Each point should be elaborated with clear reasoning and evidence to support the claims.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the negative effects of fast food. However, the introduction of convenience and taste, while relevant, diverts attention from the main argument about health impacts. Additionally, the conclusion introduces the idea of creating a balanced diet without adequately linking it back to the discussion of fast food.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate to the negative effects of fast food on health and lifestyle. Avoiding tangential topics and ensuring that each paragraph ties back to the main argument will help keep the essay on track. The conclusion should also summarize the main points discussed rather than introducing new ideas.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt, it requires significant development in terms of depth, clarity, and focus to achieve a higher band score. By expanding on ideas, maintaining a clear position, and ensuring all content is relevant to the topic, the writer can improve their Task Response score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 5

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas in a somewhat logical order, starting with an introduction that outlines the author’s stance. However, the progression of ideas is not entirely clear. For instance, the transition from discussing the appeal of fast food to its negative impacts is abrupt. The points made about health effects are not clearly linked to the initial argument about convenience and taste, which could confuse readers about the main focus of the essay.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the author should use clear topic sentences for each paragraph that directly relate back to the thesis statement. For example, after stating the convenience and taste of fast food, the author could introduce a paragraph with a topic sentence like, "Despite its appeal, fast food poses significant health risks." This would create a clearer connection between the points made and the overall argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay lacks effective paragraphing. While there are attempts to separate ideas, the paragraphs do not follow a clear structure. The first paragraph mixes multiple ideas without clear delineation, and the subsequent points are not sufficiently developed. For instance, the second paragraph introduces several health issues but does not explore them in depth or connect them back to the main argument.
- How to improve: The author should aim for a more structured approach by clearly separating each main idea into its own paragraph. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples. For example, one paragraph could focus solely on the health risks of fast food, while another could discuss the societal implications of its consumption.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates limited use of cohesive devices, which affects the flow of ideas. There are some attempts at linking phrases (e.g., "besides," "moreover"), but they are not used effectively or consistently. Additionally, there are grammatical errors (e.g., "suitables" should be "suitable," "weith" should be "weight") that detract from the overall coherence of the text.
- How to improve: To improve the use of cohesive devices, the author should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "however," "furthermore," and "in addition." Additionally, ensuring grammatical accuracy will enhance clarity. For example, instead of saying "they will lack of full of energy," it could be revised to "they may lack energy," which is clearer and more grammatically correct.

Overall, while the essay presents a relevant argument, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. Phrases such as "fast food," "convenient," "bad effects," and "balanced diet" are relevant and appropriate for the topic. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, with terms like "fast food" and "healthy" appearing multiple times without variation. For instance, the phrase "bad effects on our healthy and lifestyle" could be enhanced by using synonyms or related terms, such as "negative impacts on our well-being and daily habits."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "fast food," alternatives like "junk food," "processed meals," or "quick-service food" could be employed. Additionally, using phrases like "unhealthy eating habits" or "nutritional deficiencies" would diversify the vocabulary and demonstrate a broader lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, which can lead to confusion. For example, the phrase "rich-in fat" should be corrected to "rich in fat." Additionally, "suitables with busy people" is awkward and should be revised to "suitable for busy people." The term "digestive like appendicitis" is also unclear; it would be better to specify that fast food can lead to digestive issues, rather than suggesting appendicitis directly.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing and revising sentences for clarity. For instance, instead of saying "they will bring a lot of diseases," a more precise phrase would be "they can lead to various health issues." Regular practice with vocabulary exercises and using a thesaurus can also help in selecting the most appropriate words.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from the overall quality. Examples include "suitables," which should be "suitable," "weith," which should be "weight," and "i" should be capitalized to "I." These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail and can negatively impact the reader’s understanding.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy. This could involve reading the essay aloud to catch errors or using spell-check tools before submission. Additionally, practicing spelling through targeted exercises or flashcards can help reinforce correct spelling of commonly used words.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and uses relevant vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, with few complex structures present. For example, sentences like "Fast food is one of the popular dish now" and "they will lack of full of energy and feel tired and depressed" are straightforward but lack complexity. The use of phrases such as "because it is very convenient so it suitables with busy people" indicates a tendency to rely on basic constructions, which limits the overall sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "it is very convenient so it suitables with busy people," the writer could say, "because it is very convenient, fast food suits busy people who often lack the time to prepare meals." Additionally, using a mix of declarative, interrogative, and conditional sentences can add depth to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "suitables" should be "suitable," and "contain rich-in fat" should be corrected to "contains a high amount of fat." There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "fast food is one of the popular dish," where "dish" should be pluralized to "dishes." Punctuation errors, such as the lack of commas in compound sentences, further complicate the readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and proper verb forms. Regularly reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing with exercises can help solidify these concepts. Additionally, the writer should pay attention to punctuation, particularly the use of commas to separate clauses and items in a list. Reading more academic essays can also provide insight into proper sentence structure and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear opinion, addressing the noted weaknesses in grammatical range and accuracy will significantly enhance the quality of the writing. Regular practice and revision are key to achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Fast food is one of the most popular dishes currently, because it is very convenient, making it suitable for busy individuals. Besides, it tastes delicious, attracting both adults and children. However, some individuals assume that fast food has adverse effects on our health and lifestyle. Personally, I agree with this viewpoint based on some major reasons that are explained in this essay.

Firstly, fast food is rich in fat, so it is likely to lead to weight gain when people consume excessively. Additionally, if they eat it regularly, it can affect their digestion, leading to issues such as appendicitis because it is high in carbohydrates.

Secondly, consuming fast food can bring about numerous health problems if individuals maintain an unhealthy diet. Moreover, they will lack full energy and may feel tired and depressed. Therefore, they should adopt a healthier diet.

In short, they should eliminate unhealthy habits and create a balanced diet to become stronger and healthier.