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Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development

In the modern society, with the innovative globalization, more and more individuals instead of accessing with the standard write by hand, typing a attractive more attractive than . The below essay will explain for my view.

Firstly, regarding the causes about this phenomenon, on the one hand, writing by hand intending to serve issues. First of all, various products such as books, a block of details , it ‘s difficult to preserve in a long time by the conditions about the weather, physical impacts,… besides, the datas quality in the papers can also be influenced . On the other hand , with the progression of technology, industrial revolutions, individuals are gradually depending on digital devices . Consequences, instead of writing by hand, communities will type in various tool in order to be easier for storing more convenient as a result pen, pencil or brush seems to become old-fashioned with human .

In terms of my opinion, I believe that it's a positive activity owing to cutting down on utilizing papers, pens leading to the benifial success for communities and environment. The first, dropping to write by hand to convert into typing, it's more convenient to preserve the essential datas, informations by modern machines which limit outsite impactes. For instance, when the figures are typed, human can put into USB which don’t have numerous problems occur for datas being inside when transporting to wherever. Remarkably , the natural environment is more friendly, greener if typing, due to writing by hand and store, communities have to cut down the number of trees and forests to manufacture papers so the destination rate will decline if typing become prominent .

In conclusion, there are a range of causes about writing by hand becomes unfashionable and the significant decrease of pens, pencils are a positive phenomenon leading to numerous success for communities.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "In the modern society, with the innovative globalization, more and more individuals instead of accessing with the standard write by hand, typing a attractive more attractive than."
    -> "In contemporary society, with the advent of globalization, an increasing number of individuals are opting for typing rather than the traditional practice of writing by hand, considering it more aesthetically appealing."
    Explanation: The revised sentence maintains a formal tone by replacing informal phrases with more precise and sophisticated vocabulary. The use of "contemporary society" and "the advent of globalization" enhances the academic style.

  2. "The below essay will explain for my view."
    -> "The following essay will present my perspective."
    Explanation: The original phrase is informal and lacks precision. The revised sentence provides a more formal expression of the essay’s purpose, using "present" instead of "explain for" and avoiding unnecessary words.

  3. "Firstly, regarding the causes about this phenomenon, on the one hand, writing by hand intending to serve issues."
    -> "Firstly, concerning the causes of this phenomenon, on one hand, the act of writing by hand is associated with certain challenges."
    Explanation: The revision simplifies the sentence structure while maintaining formality. The phrase "intending to serve issues" is replaced with "is associated with certain challenges" for clarity and precision.

  4. "First of all, various products such as books, a block of details, it‘s difficult to preserve in a long time by the conditions about the weather, physical impacts,… besides, the datas quality in the papers can also be influenced."
    -> "Firstly, various products like books, which contain a wealth of information, are challenging to preserve over an extended period due to weather conditions and physical impacts. Moreover, the quality of data on papers can also be compromised."
    Explanation: The revision addresses grammatical errors, replaces informal language with more precise terms, and improves the flow of the sentence.

  5. "Consequences, instead of writing by hand, communities will type in various tool in order to be easier for storing more convenient as a result pen, pencil or brush seems to become old-fashioned with human."
    -> "As a consequence, instead of relying on manual writing, communities increasingly prefer typing using various tools for easier storage and convenience, leading to the perception that pens, pencils, or brushes are becoming outdated."
    Explanation: The revised sentence clarifies the cause-and-effect relationship, employs formal language, and enhances the structure for better readability.

  6. "In terms of my opinion, I believe that it’s a positive activity owing to cutting down on utilizing papers, pens leading to the beneficial success for communities and environment."
    -> "In my opinion, I posit that this shift is a positive development as it involves reducing the usage of papers and pens, resulting in beneficial outcomes for both communities and the environment."
    Explanation: The revision streamlines the expression, replaces informal terms with more formal language, and improves the clarity of the sentence.

  7. "The first, dropping to write by hand to convert into typing, it’s more convenient to preserve the essential datas, informations by modern machines which limit outside impacts."
    -> "Firstly, transitioning from handwritten to typed content is more convenient for preserving essential data and information using modern machines that mitigate external impacts."
    Explanation: The revision enhances the precision of the language, maintains a formal tone, and provides a clearer explanation of the benefits of transitioning from handwriting to typing.

  8. "For instance, when the figures are typed, human can put into USB which don’t have numerous problems occur for datas being inside when transporting to wherever."
    -> "For instance, when figures are typed, individuals can store them on a USB, avoiding numerous issues associated with data integrity during transportation."
    Explanation: The revision corrects grammatical errors, eliminates unnecessary words, and uses more formal terminology to describe the process.

  9. "Remarkably, the natural environment is more friendly, greener if typing, due to writing by hand and store, communities have to cut down the number of trees and forests to manufacture papers so the destination rate will decline if typing become prominent."
    -> "Significantly, the natural environment becomes more environmentally friendly and sustainable with typing. Unlike writing by hand and storing, which necessitates cutting down trees for paper production, typing reduces the demand for paper, leading to a decline in deforestation rates as it becomes more prevalent."
    Explanation: The revision improves clarity, eliminates redundancy, and uses formal language to convey the environmental benefits of typing over traditional writing methods.

  10. "In conclusion, there are a range of causes about writing by hand becomes unfashionable and the significant decrease of pens, pencils are a positive phenomenon leading to numerous success for communities."
    -> "In conclusion, there are various reasons for the decline in the popularity of writing by hand, and the significant reduction in the use of pens and pencils is a positive trend contributing to numerous benefits for communities."
    Explanation: The revised sentence maintains a formal tone, replaces informal terms, and improves the coherence of the conclusion.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address the prompt, discussing reasons for the decline in writing by hand and expressing a positive view on this development. However, there are issues with clarity and coherence in the response. The explanations lack depth and coherence, making it challenging to discern a thorough understanding of the prompt.
    • How to improve: To improve, the essay should carefully analyze each part of the prompt, providing more specific and relevant details. Addressing the issues with clarity and coherence will enhance the overall response.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay’s stance is somewhat clear – the decline in writing by hand is viewed as a positive development. However, the lack of clarity in expressing this position and the inconsistent use of language contribute to confusion.
    • How to improve: Enhance clarity by explicitly stating the position in the introduction and consistently reinforcing it throughout the essay. Use clear and precise language to convey ideas and maintain a consistent tone.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks depth in presenting, extending, and supporting ideas. While some points are made, they are not sufficiently developed or supported with examples or evidence. This impacts the overall quality of the essay.
    • How to improve: Elaborate on each point by providing specific examples, evidence, or relevant details. Develop ideas logically, ensuring a clear progression of thought. This will enhance the overall coherence and persuasiveness of the essay.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay struggles to maintain focus on the topic. There are instances of unclear and irrelevant statements that detract from the central theme. This affects the overall coherence of the essay.
    • How to improve: Stay focused on the prompt by avoiding irrelevant details and ensuring that each paragraph contributes directly to the main argument. Carefully review the essay to identify and eliminate any off-topic elements.

In conclusion, while the essay attempts to address the prompt and present a clear position, there are significant issues with clarity, coherence, and depth of ideas. Improving these aspects will contribute to a more effective and well-structured response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 4

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks a clear and logical organization. Sentences are often disjointed, making it challenging for the reader to follow the argument. For example, the introduction is confusing, with unclear statements such as "instead of accessing with the standard write by hand, typing a attractive more attractive than." The essay jumps between ideas without a smooth transition.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, start with a clear introduction that introduces the topic and your stance. Follow a well-structured body with distinct paragraphs discussing individual points, and end with a concise conclusion that summarizes your main arguments.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks effective paragraphing. Ideas are presented in a single paragraph, leading to a lack of clarity and coherence. A notable example is the second paragraph, which merges discussions about the decline in writing by hand and the impact of technology, resulting in a confusing mix of ideas.
    • How to improve: Implement clear paragraph breaks to organize distinct ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the argument, allowing for a smoother flow. For instance, create separate paragraphs for discussing the causes of the decline in handwriting and the benefits of typing.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay struggles with the use of cohesive devices, resulting in a lack of connectivity between sentences and ideas. This makes it challenging for the reader to follow the progression of thoughts. Additionally, there is an overuse of repetitive phrases like "more and more" and "writing by hand."
    • How to improve: Utilize a variety of cohesive devices such as transitional words (e.g., moreover, consequently) and cohesive phrases to create a smoother flow. Additionally, diversify language to avoid repetition. For example, replace repetitive phrases with synonyms or rephrase sentences to maintain coherence without redundancy.

In summary, to improve coherence and cohesion, focus on developing a more logically organized structure, implementing effective paragraphing, and diversifying the use of cohesive devices. This will enhance the clarity and readability of your essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. There is a noticeable repetition of words and phrases throughout the essay, and the use of more varied and precise vocabulary is needed to enhance the overall quality of expression. For example, the repetitive use of "writing by hand" could be diversified for better lexical variety.
    • How to improve: To improve, consider incorporating a broader range of synonyms and avoiding the repetition of specific terms. For instance, instead of frequently using "writing by hand," try alternative expressions such as "manual writing" or "traditional handwriting." This can contribute to a more varied and engaging vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally lacks precision in vocabulary usage, leading to unclear or imprecise communication. For instance, in the sentence, "typing a attractive more attractive than," the phrase lacks clarity and precision, making it challenging for the reader to understand the intended meaning.
    • How to improve: Focus on using precise and appropriate vocabulary to convey ideas more clearly. For example, in the mentioned sentence, consider rephrasing it as "typing is considered more appealing than." This adjustment provides a clearer and more precise expression of the idea.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "intending" instead of "intended," "datas" instead of "data," and "benifial" instead of "beneficial." These errors impact the overall readability and professionalism of the essay.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider proofreading the essay carefully before submission. Additionally, utilizing spell-check tools can be beneficial in identifying and correcting spelling errors. Developing a habit of reviewing and revising written work can contribute to improved spelling and overall language accuracy.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the prompt and presents a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in lexical resource. Emphasizing a wider vocabulary range, using terms precisely, and ensuring correct spelling will contribute to a more polished and effective essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay lacks variety in sentence structures, relying heavily on simple structures that impede the overall fluency and coherence. Simple sentences dominate, making the essay monotonous and less engaging. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing and incomplete sentences, such as "with the innovative globalization" and "typing a attractive more attractive than."
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and overall effectiveness, strive for a mix of sentence structures. Incorporate complex and compound sentences to demonstrate a higher command of language. For instance, use introductory phrases, clauses, and transitions to create a smoother flow. Avoid awkward phrasing by carefully constructing sentences for clarity and coherence.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation inaccuracies, impacting the overall clarity and coherence. For example, "instead of accessing with the standard write by hand" lacks proper structure, and there are instances of comma splices and missing punctuation throughout the essay. Verb agreement issues, such as "datas" and "impactes," further contribute to grammatical inaccuracies.
    • How to improve: Focus on improving basic grammar skills, including subject-verb agreement and proper sentence structure. Review punctuation rules to eliminate comma splices and ensure correct usage. Additionally, pay attention to word choice, avoiding non-standard terms like "datas." Proofread the essay carefully to catch and correct errors before submission.

In summary, while the essay attempts to address the prompt, significant improvements are needed in grammatical range and accuracy. Diversifying sentence structures and addressing grammatical errors will contribute to a more cohesive and effective piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

In contemporary society, with the advent of globalization, an increasing number of individuals are opting for typing rather than the traditional practice of writing by hand, considering it more aesthetically appealing. The following essay will present my perspective.

Firstly, concerning the causes of this phenomenon, on one hand, the act of writing by hand is associated with certain challenges. Firstly, various products like books, which contain a wealth of information, are challenging to preserve over an extended period due to weather conditions and physical impacts. Moreover, the quality of data on papers can also be compromised. As a consequence, instead of relying on manual writing, communities increasingly prefer typing using various tools for easier storage and convenience, leading to the perception that pens, pencils, or brushes are becoming outdated.

In my opinion, I posit that this shift is a positive development as it involves reducing the usage of papers and pens, resulting in beneficial outcomes for both communities and the environment. Firstly, transitioning from handwritten to typed content is more convenient for preserving essential data and information using modern machines that mitigate external impacts. For instance, when figures are typed, individuals can store them on a USB, avoiding numerous issues associated with data integrity during transportation. Significantly, the natural environment becomes more environmentally friendly and sustainable with typing. Unlike writing by hand and storing, which necessitates cutting down trees for paper production, typing reduces the demand for paper, leading to a decline in deforestation rates as it becomes more prevalent.

In conclusion, there are various reasons for the decline in the popularity of writing by hand, and the significant reduction in the use of pens and pencils is a positive trend contributing to numerous benefits for communities.

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