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Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this ? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development ?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this ? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development ?

It is argued that people tend to use alternative tools instead of conventional pen, pencil or brush for writing. Personally, the decline in manual writing brings further benefits to both individuals and the community.

It is believed that the advancement of technology substantially influenced the constituting of traditional writing tools. According to articles, a large number of people approved that writing manually is time-consuming, especially with bad handwriting individuals as they have to spend time on translating letters to the receivers. Thus, it might negatively affect not only the productivity but also the efficiency of missions. Moreover, that could possibly lead to the stagnation of various aspects of life such as the economy or the quality of life of several residents . Hence, people would use other tools to gain higher requirements which is technology.

Electrical devices such as laptops, ipads or smartphones could positively change the current manual writing in the future. Those gadgets, which integrate numerous functions, would lend a hand in writing essays in a short time. For instance, writers who use Google documents for writing could use the grammar checking feature to automatically fix the grammar error for them. In the case of handwriting, grammar mistakes need to be checked manually. Therefore, people could boost producing quality products in a minimum time.

To sum up, the number of people using pen, pencil or brush witnesses a downward trend. However, I supported this phenomenon as it could be an opportunity for new writing inventions that would alternate the current tools and also significantly benefit human’s life.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. “It is argued that people tend to use alternative tools instead of conventional pen, pencil, or brush for writing.” -> “It is argued that individuals increasingly opt for alternative tools over traditional implements such as pens, pencils, or brushes for writing.”
    Explanation: The revised sentence maintains the formal tone while providing a more precise and sophisticated expression of the idea.
  2. “Personally, the decline in manual writing brings further benefits to both individuals and the community.” -> “From a personal standpoint, the diminishing practice of manual writing yields additional advantages for both individuals and the community.”
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance the formality of the sentence by using more sophisticated language and clarifying the perspective as personal.
  3. “It is believed that the advancement of technology substantially influenced the constituting of traditional writing tools.” -> “There is a belief that technological advancements have significantly influenced the evolution of traditional writing implements.”
    Explanation: The revised sentence employs more formal language and structure to convey the idea of technological influence on traditional writing tools.
  4. “a large number of people approved that writing manually is time-consuming” -> “a substantial number of individuals concurred that manual writing is time-consuming”
    Explanation: The term “approved” is replaced with “concurred” for a more formal expression of agreement, and “large number of people” is refined to “substantial number of individuals” for greater specificity.
  5. “especially with bad handwriting individuals as they have to spend time on translating letters to the receivers.” -> “particularly for individuals with poor handwriting, as they must allocate time to transcribe letters for the recipients.”
    Explanation: The suggested changes eliminate colloquial expressions like “especially with bad handwriting individuals” and introduce a more formal structure.
  6. “Thus, it might negatively affect not only the productivity but also the efficiency of missions.” -> “Consequently, it could adversely impact not only productivity but also the efficiency of tasks.”
    Explanation: The revisions enhance formality by replacing “might” with “could,” and restructuring the sentence for clarity and precision.
  7. “Moreover, that could possibly lead to the stagnation of various aspects of life such as the economy or the quality of life of several residents.” -> “Furthermore, this could potentially result in the stagnation of various facets of life, including the economy and the quality of life for numerous residents.”
    Explanation: The improvements involve replacing “that” with “this” for clarity and using more precise language to describe the potential consequences.
  8. “Hence, people would use other tools to gain higher requirements which is technology.” -> “Therefore, individuals would turn to alternative tools to meet elevated demands, such as those facilitated by technology.”
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance formality by replacing “Hence” with “Therefore” and clarifying the expression of using tools to meet technological requirements.
  9. “Electrical devices such as laptops, ipads or smartphones could positively change the current manual writing in the future.” -> “Electronic devices, such as laptops, iPads, or smartphones, could substantially transform contemporary manual writing practices in the future.”
    Explanation: The revisions enhance formality by using “electronic” instead of “electrical,” specifying device names, and providing a more nuanced expression of the potential transformation.
  10. “Those gadgets, which integrate numerous functions, would lend a hand in writing essays in a short time.” -> “These devices, integrating a multitude of functions, would facilitate the expeditious composition of essays.”
    Explanation: The improvements involve using “devices” instead of “gadgets” for formality and rephrasing for a more sophisticated expression.
  11. “For instance, writers who use Google documents for writing could use the grammar checking feature to automatically fix the grammar error for them.” -> “For example, writers utilizing Google Documents could employ the grammar checking feature to automatically rectify grammatical errors.”
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance formality and precision by using “utilizing” instead of “using” and restructuring the sentence for clarity.
  12. “In the case of handwriting, grammar mistakes need to be checked manually.” -> “Regarding handwriting, grammatical errors necessitate manual verification.”
    Explanation: The revised sentence maintains formality while providing a more concise and precise expression of the idea.
  13. “Therefore, people could boost producing quality products in a minimum time.” -> “Therefore, individuals could enhance the production of high-quality outputs within a minimal timeframe.”
    Explanation: The improvements involve using “individuals” instead of “people” for formality and rephrasing for a more sophisticated expression of the idea.
  14. “To sum up, the number of people using pen, pencil or brush witnesses a downward trend.” -> “In conclusion, there is a decline in the use of traditional writing instruments such as pens, pencils, or brushes.”
    Explanation: The revised sentence maintains formality and clarity by rephrasing and specifying the type of writing instruments.
  15. “However, I supported this phenomenon as it could be an opportunity for new writing inventions that would alternate the current tools and also significantly benefit human’s life.” -> “Nevertheless, I endorse this phenomenon as it presents an opportunity for innovative writing tools that could replace existing implements and substantially improve human life.”
    Explanation: The suggested changes enhance formality and precision, providing a clearer expression of the author’s endorsement and the potential benefits of the phenomenon.

 

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: “It is argued that people tend to use alternative tools instead of conventional pen, pencil or brush for writing.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction sets the premise but lacks a clear thesis or preview of the essay’s main points. To enhance clarity, consider providing a more direct statement that outlines the reasons for the decline in manual writing and your position regarding its impact. This would better orient the reader towards the forthcoming discussion.
    • Improved example: “The shift from traditional writing tools to alternative methods has become increasingly prevalent. This trend is attributed to factors such as technological advancements and efficiency concerns. In this essay, I will delve into these reasons and advocate for the positive outcomes resulting from this shift.”
  2. Quoted text: “According to articles, a large number of people approved that writing manually is time-consuming, especially with bad handwriting individuals as they have to spend time on translating letters to the receivers.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The point about time consumption and the impact of bad handwriting on communication is valid. However, the explanation lacks depth and specificity. To bolster this argument, expand on the drawbacks of manual writing, emphasizing how it affects communication, productivity, or understanding. Provide a more vivid example or personal experience to illustrate these challenges.
    • Improved example: “Research supports the notion that manual writing, particularly for individuals with poor handwriting, presents challenges in effective communication. For instance, deciphering poorly written letters can lead to misinterpretations or delays in conveying crucial information, impacting both personal and professional spheres. My own experience struggling to decode handwritten notes highlights this impediment, underlining the significance of clear and efficient communication methods.”
  3. Quoted text: “Those gadgets, which integrate numerous functions, would lend a hand in writing essays in a short time.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The argument regarding the efficiency of electronic devices in writing is sound but lacks development. To strengthen this point, elaborate on the specific functions or features of these gadgets that facilitate faster and more effective writing. Provide a detailed example or anecdote showcasing how these functionalities enhance the writing process, making it more efficient.
    • Improved example: “Modern gadgets boast multifunctionality, streamlining the writing process significantly. For instance, word processing applications equipped with grammar checkers and auto-correction tools expedite the proofreading phase, allowing writers to rectify errors swiftly. Personally, using these features on my device has notably reduced the time I spend revising and editing written content, enhancing the overall quality of my work.”

Overall, while your essay addresses the topic and presents some relevant ideas, further development and specific examples could strengthen your arguments, providing a more comprehensive and persuasive response. Expanding on the impact of technology on writing and including vivid examples from personal experience would enrich your essay, enhancing its clarity and depth.

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a clear organization of ideas with a logical progression. Each paragraph is focused on a central topic, contributing to overall coherence. The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, although there are instances of slight underuse. The essay effectively employs a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas, supporting a smooth flow of information. Paragraphing is mostly logical, aiding the reader’s understanding of the essay’s structure.

How to Improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between ideas. Additionally, ensure consistent and appropriate referencing throughout the essay. While the paragraphs are generally well-organized, a more nuanced approach to paragraph structure could elevate the overall coherence. Strive for a seamless integration of ideas to minimize any potential disruptions in the essay’s flow.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in expression. The writer employs less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. The use of technology-related terms, such as “electrical devices,” “laptops,” “ipads,” and “smartphones,” contributes to a varied vocabulary. Additionally, there is an attempt to convey ideas with a degree of complexity, contributing to fluency. However, occasional errors in word choice and word formation are present, such as “constituting” instead of “construction” and “witnesses” instead of “witnessing.” These inaccuracies do not severely impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, the writer should strive for greater accuracy in word choice and word formation. Proofreading the essay for minor errors, such as the mentioned inaccuracies, will contribute to a more polished and sophisticated use of vocabulary. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of complex vocabulary and demonstrating a more nuanced understanding of collocation can further elevate the lexical quality of the essay.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures, indicating a good command of grammar. Most sentences are error-free, contributing to effective communication. There is clear control of grammar and punctuation, but a few errors are present. For instance, in the second paragraph, the phrase “that could possibly lead” could be refined for better accuracy. Additionally, the use of the phrase “lend a hand” in the third paragraph might be considered informal, impacting the formality of the essay. Despite these minor errors, the overall grammatical range and accuracy meet the Band 7 criteria.

How to improve:
To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should aim for more precision in expression. Avoiding colloquial phrases, like “lend a hand,” and opting for more formal language can contribute to a higher score. Furthermore, careful proofreading to eliminate minor errors, such as in the phrase “that could possibly lead,” would further improve the essay’s grammatical accuracy. Additionally, a more varied use of complex structures can elevate the essay to a higher band score.

 

Bài sửa mẫu

It is argued that individuals increasingly opt for alternative tools instead of traditional writing implements like pens, pencils, or brushes. Personally, I see the decline in manual writing as bringing additional advantages to both individuals and the community.

Many argue that technological advancements have significantly impacted the use of traditional writing tools. According to various sources, a substantial number of people agree that manual writing is time-consuming, especially for those with poor handwriting, as they need to invest time in deciphering letters for the recipients. This, in turn, may not only negatively affect productivity but also impact the efficiency of various tasks. Moreover, it could potentially lead to stagnation in different aspects of life, such as the economy or the quality of life for residents. Hence, people are inclined to use other tools to meet higher requirements, primarily relying on technology.

Electronic devices such as laptops, iPads, or smartphones could bring about positive changes in manual writing in the future. These gadgets, integrating numerous functions, would assist in writing essays more efficiently. For example, writers using Google documents could utilize the grammar-checking feature to automatically rectify grammar errors. In contrast, with manual handwriting, grammar mistakes would need to be checked manually, potentially slowing down the writing process. Therefore, people could enhance the production of quality products in a shorter time.

In conclusion, there is a noticeable decline in the number of people using pens, pencils, or brushes. However, I support this phenomenon as it could pave the way for new writing inventions that would replace current tools and significantly benefit human life.

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