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Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush.

What are the reasons for this?

Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In our temporary era, there is a gradual decline in the number of people writing by hand with the usage of pen, pencil, or brush, which has caused a debate among people. Before revealing the definitive conclusion about the positives and negatives of this issue, this essay will also discuss the two major reasons leading to it, which are related to the convenience of technological devices and the large amount of bad-handwriting people.

To begin, there are two key issues that are responsible for this phenomenon. First, with the emergence of cutting-edge technology from human devices such as laptops and smartphones. With the help of these devices, it is not only faster, and easier but also more convenient, especially for the home workers who need to send or process information online. In fact, it takes less than half the time for individuals to complete all of the writing and editing processes when writing on devices compared to writing by hand. Second, not everyone has good handwriting; therefore, they are reluctant to show their handwriting and may not feel comfortable or try their best when they have to do things they do not like. Moreover, bad handwriting may cause misunderstanding while reading and transmitting information. According to a survey taken by Harvard University in the USA in 2022, more than 70% of people preferred writing by devices to writing by hand because of their bad handwriting but refused to practice since it waste a lot of time and effort.
Although I admit the advantages of online writing in our modern times such as the convenience and the fast speed in processing, I still believe that the drawbacks of this issue outweigh its benefits due to these reasons. First, the frequent use of writing with the help of technology from a young age reduces the creativity of children and affects their language ability, which has been proved by a study in the UK in 2022 with an experiment between children who write by hand and laptops through the same period. In addition, if people keep on using the technological tools to help them with writing, they will become dependent too much on them. When this thing happens, in case of a shortage of those tools, they cannot write by their own hands.
In conclusion, the convenience and availability of technical devices and bad handwriting result in the decline of handwriting. Even though I recognize the advantages of this issue, I still think of it as a negative development more than a positive one due to its demerit to children’s creativity and human reliance on it.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "In our temporary era" -> "In our contemporary era"
    Explanation: Replacing "temporary" with "contemporary" enhances the formality of the expression, providing a more suitable term for discussing the current time period.

  2. "there is a gradual decline" -> "there has been a gradual decline"
    Explanation: The change to the present perfect tense ("has been") aligns with academic writing conventions, indicating an ongoing trend leading up to the present moment.

  3. "writing by hand with the usage of pen, pencil, or brush" -> "manual writing using pen, pencil, or brush"
    Explanation: The term "manual writing" is a more precise and formal way to refer to writing by hand. Additionally, restructuring the sentence improves clarity.

  4. "revealing the definitive conclusion" -> "presenting a conclusive standpoint"
    Explanation: The substitution of "revealing" with "presenting" and "definitive conclusion" with "conclusive standpoint" contributes to a more formal tone and precision.

  5. "the two major reasons leading to it" -> "the two primary reasons contributing to this phenomenon"
    Explanation: Replacing "leading to it" with "contributing to this phenomenon" adds specificity and formality, making the sentence more academically sound.

  6. "related to the convenience of technological devices" -> "attributed to the convenience offered by technological devices"
    Explanation: The replacement adds formality by using "attributed to" instead of "related to" and provides a more nuanced expression of the cause.

  7. "the large amount of bad-handwriting people" -> "the prevalence of individuals with poor handwriting"
    Explanation: The change from "large amount of" to "prevalence of" and "bad-handwriting people" to "individuals with poor handwriting" improves precision and formality.

  8. "cutting-edge technology from human devices" -> "cutting-edge technology in personal devices"
    Explanation: The alteration ensures clarity by specifying that the technology is in personal devices and improves the overall flow of the sentence.

  9. "it is not only faster, and easier but also more convenient" -> "it is not only faster and more efficient but also more convenient"
    Explanation: Removing the conjunction "and" before "easier" and replacing it with "more efficient" maintains parallelism and enhances the academic tone.

  10. "complete all of the writing and editing processes" -> "complete all writing and editing tasks"
    Explanation: Simplifying the expression to "tasks" instead of "processes" maintains clarity and aligns with academic language norms.

  11. "try their best when they have to do things they do not like" -> "make their best effort when faced with tasks they find challenging"
    Explanation: The revised phrase is more formal and precise, avoiding redundancy and improving academic style.

  12. "bad handwriting may cause misunderstanding" -> "illegible handwriting may lead to misunderstandings"
    Explanation: The use of "illegible" instead of "bad" and rephrasing for clarity contributes to a more formal and precise expression.

  13. "refused to practice since it waste a lot of time and effort" -> "refused to practice as it wastes a significant amount of time and effort"
    Explanation: Correcting the verb tense to "wastes" and refining the phrasing improves grammatical accuracy and formality.

  14. "the drawbacks of this issue outweigh its benefits due to these reasons" -> "the drawbacks of this phenomenon outweigh its benefits for the following reasons"
    Explanation: The change to "phenomenon" enhances formality, and specifying "for the following reasons" adds clarity and structure to the sentence.

  15. "the convenience and availability of technical devices" -> "the convenience and ubiquity of technological devices"
    Explanation: Substituting "availability" with "ubiquity" adds sophistication to the language, aligning better with academic style.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "In our temporary era, there is a gradual decline in the number of people writing by hand with the usage of pen, pencil, or brush, which has caused a debate among people. Before revealing the definitive conclusion about the positives and negatives of this issue, this essay will also discuss the two major reasons leading to it, which are related to the convenience of technological devices and the large amount of bad-handwriting people."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: Your introduction is somewhat convoluted and lacks clarity in presenting your stance on the issue. It is crucial to explicitly state your position in the introduction. Additionally, the use of the term "temporary era" may be confusing. A more straightforward approach and concise expression of your viewpoint would improve the overall effectiveness of the introduction. For instance, you could say, "In the contemporary era, a decline in manual writing is evident due to the prevalence of technological devices and challenges posed by poor handwriting."
    • Improved example: "In the contemporary era, a decline in manual writing is evident due to the prevalence of technological devices and challenges posed by poor handwriting. This essay will explore the reasons behind this trend and evaluate whether it is a positive or negative development."
  2. Quoted text: "Although I admit the advantages of online writing in our modern times such as the convenience and the fast speed in processing, I still believe that the drawbacks of this issue outweigh its benefits due to these reasons."

    • Giải thích và Gợi ý cải thiện: While your position is clear, the supporting reasons lack specificity and depth. Instead of stating general advantages and drawbacks, delve into specific examples or personal experiences that illustrate the impact of online writing on creativity and dependence. This will strengthen your argument and provide a more nuanced perspective.
    • Improved example: "While acknowledging the convenience and speed of online writing in our modern times, I contend that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. For instance, a study in the UK in 2022 found that children who predominantly use digital tools for writing show a decline in creativity compared to those who engage in manual writing. Additionally, over-reliance on technological aids can lead to a loss of the essential skill of handwriting, as observed in situations where individuals struggle to write without these tools."

Overall, ensure clarity in expressing your stance, provide specific examples or experiences, and elaborate on the implications of the discussed issues for a more nuanced and persuasive argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion. It makes an effort to organize ideas logically and maintains a certain progression throughout. There’s an attempt to use cohesive devices effectively, although there are instances of faulty cohesion between sentences, leading to occasional confusion. Paragraphing is attempted, yet it lacks consistency in logical organization.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring a clearer overall progression of ideas. Work on refining the use of cohesive devices to establish smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs. Strive for more consistent and logical paragraphing to reinforce the essay’s structure. Additionally, aim for a more balanced discussion between the presented ideas to strengthen the essay’s overall coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a fairly good range of vocabulary. It includes various expressions and phrases to discuss the topic, addressing reasons behind the decline in writing by hand, such as "cutting-edge technology," "home workers," "reluctant," "misunderstanding," "dependence," and "demerit." Additionally, there is an attempt to introduce less common lexical items and varied vocabulary throughout the essay, showcasing a moderate level of flexibility and precision. The writer tries to present ideas using diverse vocabulary, although occasional errors in word choice and collocation are present. Spelling and word formation errors occur intermittently but don’t significantly impede communication.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource further, focus on utilizing more sophisticated and precise vocabulary consistently. Try incorporating a wider array of idiomatic expressions, phrasal verbs, and synonyms to elevate the language’s richness. Carefully review word choice and ensure accurate collocation, paying attention to minor errors in spelling and word formation to improve overall lexical accuracy. Additionally, aim for a smoother integration of less common vocabulary items into the essay’s context to boost coherence and fluency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. It attempts to incorporate a variety of sentence forms, albeit with some errors in grammar and punctuation. There’s an effort to present ideas using different structures, but inconsistencies in sentence complexity and occasional errors affect the overall communication.

How to improve:
To improve the score, focus on refining the range of sentence structures used. Work on enhancing the complexity of sentences consistently throughout the essay. Pay attention to grammar and punctuation errors to ensure clearer communication.

This essay demonstrates a mix of sentence structures, attempting complexity but lacking consistency and accuracy. There are grammatical errors and punctuation issues that occasionally impact clarity. To reach a higher band score, aim for a more consistent use of varied sentence structures with improved accuracy and fewer errors in grammar and punctuation.

Bài sửa mẫu

In our current era, there is a gradual decline in the number of people writing by hand using a pen, pencil, or brush, sparking a debate among individuals. Before reaching a definitive conclusion about the positives and negatives of this trend, this essay will delve into the two major reasons behind it, namely the convenience of technological devices and the prevalence of poor handwriting.

To begin, two key factors contribute to this phenomenon. Firstly, the advent of cutting-edge technology, such as laptops and smartphones, plays a pivotal role. These devices not only make the writing process faster and easier but also more convenient, particularly for individuals working from home who need to send or process information online. In fact, completing writing and editing tasks on devices takes less than half the time compared to writing by hand. Secondly, not everyone possesses legible handwriting, leading them to be hesitant in showcasing their writing and potentially hindering their performance. Poor handwriting may also lead to misunderstandings when reading and transmitting information. A 2022 survey conducted by Harvard University in the USA revealed that over 70% of people preferred writing on devices due to their poor handwriting, despite acknowledging the time and effort it saved.

While I acknowledge the advantages of online writing, such as convenience and speed, I maintain that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits for several reasons. Firstly, the frequent use of technology for writing from a young age has been shown to diminish the creativity of children and impact their language abilities. A 2022 study in the UK conducted an experiment comparing children who wrote by hand and those who used laptops over the same period, affirming this impact. Additionally, an overreliance on technological tools for writing may lead to dependence. In situations where these tools are unavailable, individuals may struggle to write by hand.

In conclusion, the decline in handwriting is influenced by the convenience and availability of technical devices, coupled with the prevalence of poor handwriting. Despite recognizing the advantages, I perceive this trend as a negative development, primarily due to its adverse effects on children’s creativity and the potential overreliance on technology.

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