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Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons? Is this a positive or negative development?

There is an increasing trend towards individuals not using handwriting with a pen, pencil or brush. This essay will first outline the underlying causes of this trend, before arguing that it is more of a negative development.
The decline in the need for handwriting can be attributed to two main factors. Foremost is the development of technology. The advent of digital devices in communication by typing could be convenient and decrease labor-intensive compared to manual writing, giving rise to the decline in manual writing. Another reason can be ascribed to the positive impact on the environment. An increase of people not writing manually would lead to a decreased amount of paper and plastic waste, which is the culprit behind environmental issues. For example, writing by hand requires pens and papers, which would sooner or later be discarded to landfills, resulting in environmental degradation such as global warming, and habitat loss, among others.
Notwithstanding the potential benefits of convenience and mitigating environmental deterioration, I am convinced that the decrease in handwriting is predominantly detrimental. My rationale is that writing by hands could preserve cultural identities, thereby preventing cultural erosion in the face of the technological’s era and globalization. Therefore, if individuals did not write manually, a loss of cultural identities would occur. A case in point is China, where the young widely ultilized smartphones or laptops to communicate instead of writing the country’s ideogram, resulting in cultural erosion and a loss of language diversity. Worse still, writing by digital tools could have adverse impacts on people’s overall well-being. Blue lights emitted from those technological devices could harm eyesights, which was the driving factor behind eye-ralated problems including eye strain and eye fatigue.
In conclusion, fewer people writing by hand can be attributed to the undeniable convenience of technology and environmental preservation. From my perspective, cultural erosion and health deterioration make this development largely negative.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "individuals not using handwriting" -> "individuals eschewing handwriting"
    Explanation: Replacing "not using" with "eschewing" maintains formality while expressing the idea more precisely.

  2. "This essay will first outline" -> "This essay will initially outline"
    Explanation: "First" is slightly informal for academic writing. "Initially" is a more sophisticated alternative.

  3. "Foremost" -> "Primarily"
    Explanation: "Foremost" is slightly less formal; "primarily" retains the meaning while elevating the vocabulary choice.

  4. "could be convenient" -> "can be convenient"
    Explanation: Using "can" instead of "could" in this context adds more certainty to the statement.

  5. "decrease labor-intensive" -> "reduce labor intensity"
    Explanation: Restructuring the phrase for clarity and formality.

  6. "Another reason can be ascribed to" -> "Another reason can be attributed to"
    Explanation: "Attributed to" is a more formal and precise phrase.

  7. "culprit behind environmental issues" -> "cause of environmental issues"
    Explanation: "Culprit" is slightly informal; "cause" is a more neutral and fitting term in this context.

  8. "which is the culprit behind" -> "resulting in"
    Explanation: Replacing with "resulting in" for a smoother flow of ideas.

  9. "degraded to landfills" -> "disposed of in landfills"
    Explanation: "Disposed of in landfills" is a more formal and accurate phrase.

  10. "among others" -> "among other consequences"
    Explanation: Adding "consequences" for specificity.

  11. "Notwithstanding" -> "However"
    Explanation: "However" is a more common and concise transition in formal writing.

  12. "I am convinced that" -> "I firmly believe that"
    Explanation: "I firmly believe that" maintains formality while expressing conviction.

  13. "predominantly detrimental" -> "largely detrimental"
    Explanation: "Largely detrimental" is slightly more formal and fitting for this context.

  14. "My rationale is that" -> "My reasoning is that"
    Explanation: "Reasoning" is a formal synonym for "rationale."

  15. "could preserve cultural identities" -> "help preserve cultural identities"
    Explanation: Adding "help" for clarity and emphasis.

  16. "technological’s era" -> "technological era"
    Explanation: Removing the apostrophe for correct usage.

  17. "widely ultilized smartphones" -> "widely utilized smartphones"
    Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "utilized."

  18. "Worse still" -> "Furthermore"
    Explanation: "Furthermore" maintains a formal tone while connecting ideas.

  19. "eye-ralated problems" -> "eye-related problems"
    Explanation: Correcting the hyphenation and spelling to "eye-related."

  20. "make this development largely negative" -> "render this development largely negative"
    Explanation: "Render" adds formality and precision to the statement.

These changes aim to enhance the essay’s formality and precision without compromising clarity or natural flow.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "The decline in the need for handwriting can be attributed to two main factors. Foremost is the development of technology. The advent of digital devices in communication by typing could be convenient and decrease labor-intensive compared to manual writing, giving rise to the decline in manual writing."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The response addresses the reasons behind the decline in handwriting due to technological advancements, offering a basic explanation. However, it lacks depth in exploring the impact of technology on handwriting comprehensively. To enhance this, consider expanding on how specific technological advancements, such as smartphones or computers, have influenced writing habits. Provide more vivid examples or personal experiences to illustrate the widespread adoption of digital devices and their impact on written communication. For instance, elaborating on how people prefer texting or typing on laptops due to speed or accessibility could bolster your argument.
    • Improved example: "One primary reason for the dwindling use of handwriting lies in the rapid advancements in technology. The proliferation of smartphones, tablets, and computers has significantly altered our communication patterns. For instance, instant messaging applications have replaced handwritten letters or notes due to their convenience and rapidity. In my own experience, I’ve observed that even in academic settings, students opt for typing notes on their laptops during lectures rather than taking handwritten notes, mainly due to the ease of organizing and storing information."
  2. Quoted text: "Another reason can be ascribed to the positive impact on the environment. An increase of people not writing manually would lead to a decreased amount of paper and plastic waste, which is the culprit behind environmental issues."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The essay briefly touches on the positive environmental impact of reduced handwriting. However, it lacks depth in discussing this aspect further. To strengthen this argument, delve deeper into the environmental consequences of excessive paper usage. Offer specific examples or personal insights into the environmental toll of paper production and disposal. Additionally, consider discussing alternative viewpoints or counterarguments regarding the environmental impact of digital technology, providing a balanced view of its effects on the environment.
    • Improved example: "Furthermore, the shift away from manual writing positively influences the environment by reducing paper and plastic waste. Traditional paper production contributes significantly to deforestation and carbon emissions. In my observation, the exponential growth in digital note-taking has substantially minimized the need for paper, curbing the detrimental effects of logging on forests. However, while this transition seems advantageous environmentally, some argue that the electronic waste generated from discarded devices poses a different threat. Yet, the overall reduction in paper consumption undoubtedly lessens the environmental strain caused by traditional writing methods."

Overall, while the essay addresses the reasons behind the decline in handwriting due to technological advancement and its positive environmental impact, it lacks depth and detailed exploration of these aspects. Strengthening the arguments with more specific examples and diverse perspectives would significantly enhance the overall response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with clear progression throughout. The introduction sets up the essay’s structure by outlining the reasons for the decline in handwriting and stating the writer’s position. Each body paragraph focuses on a specific reason, providing adequate development and examples. The conclusion summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer’s perspective.

The essay uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, contributing to overall coherence. Transition words and phrases guide the reader through the essay, creating a smooth flow between ideas. Additionally, the writer effectively manages paragraphing, with each paragraph presenting a clear central topic.

However, there is some minor underuse of cohesive devices, and in a few instances, the connection between sentences could be strengthened. For instance, in the second body paragraph, the transition between the reasons for the decline in handwriting and the environmental impact could be smoother. Despite these minor issues, the logical organization and overall coherence warrant a Band 7.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider refining the use of cohesive devices to create more seamless connections between ideas. Ensure that the progression between sentences is clear, reinforcing the logical flow of the essay. Additionally, pay attention to the balance of examples and development within each paragraph to maintain a consistent level of detail throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. There is evidence of using less common lexical items, such as "culprit," "erosion," and "ultilized," showcasing an attempt at sophistication. The writer also employs a variety of words related to the essay’s theme, such as "degradation," "mitigating," and "deterioration." However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, as seen in the phrase "a loss of language diversity," where a more precise term could be utilized. Despite these minor inaccuracies, the vocabulary is diverse enough to convey the writer’s ideas with some flair.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource and move towards a higher band score, the writer should focus on refining word choice and ensuring accuracy in collocation. Consider using more varied and precise vocabulary, particularly in areas where a stronger impact can be achieved. Additionally, pay attention to the overall coherence of ideas to maintain clarity and strengthen the essay’s overall quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures and accuracy, placing it in Band 7. The writer successfully uses a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. There is generally good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few errors. The essay effectively communicates the main points without significant grammatical hindrances.

How to improve:
To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, consider incorporating a wider range of sentence structures. Additionally, pay attention to minor errors, such as article usage and sentence fragments, to achieve a more polished piece. Proofreading for consistency in punctuation and grammatical structures will contribute to an even smoother expression of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is a growing trend where individuals are opting not to use traditional handwriting tools like pens, pencils, or brushes. This essay will first discuss the main reasons behind this shift before arguing that it is more of a negative development.

The decline in the practice of handwriting can be linked to two primary factors. Firstly, the rise of technology plays a significant role. The convenience and efficiency offered by digital communication through typing have contributed to a decline in manual writing. Another reason is the positive impact on the environment. The reduction in manual writing can lead to less paper and plastic waste, which is a significant contributor to environmental issues. For instance, manual writing involves the use of pens and papers that often end up in landfills, contributing to environmental problems like global warming and habitat loss.

Despite the potential benefits of convenience and environmental preservation, I am convinced that the decrease in handwriting is mostly detrimental. My rationale is that writing by hand plays a crucial role in preserving cultural identities, preventing cultural erosion in the face of the technological era and globalization. Therefore, if individuals stop writing manually, there could be a loss of cultural identities. For example, in China, many young people now use smartphones or laptops for communication instead of writing the country’s ideograms. This shift has resulted in cultural erosion and a loss of language diversity. Moreover, reliance on digital tools for writing could have adverse effects on overall well-being. The blue light emitted from these devices could harm eyesight, a leading factor in eye-related problems such as eye strain and fatigue.

In conclusion, the decline in manual writing can be attributed to the undeniable convenience of technology and the desire for environmental preservation. However, from my perspective, the negative aspects, including cultural erosion and health issues, outweigh the conveniences.

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