Fewer and fewer people write today by hand using pen or pencil. What are the reasons for this? Is this positive or negative development?

Fewer and fewer people write today by hand using pen or pencil.
What are the reasons for this?
Is this positive or negative development?

The number of people who write by hand using pen or pencil is steadily declining. This is because humanity is in an age of cutting-edge technology with many advantages, therefore this can have positive consequences because they can improve human life.
Fewer people use pen or pencil to write today because there are many different types of support equipment and tools help them in writing have appeared. This means people have more opportunities to approach various writing way, and gradually less used traditional writing way. For example, computer and other smart devices provide many useful browsers and websites such as Microsoft Word and Google Docs, which can help people take notes and edit text faster and exactly. Moreover, a less commonly used traditional writing style can be the way to protect our environment because the less people use it, the less they depend on paper.
Because of the great beneficial impact on humanity, this essay believes they should be viewed positively. Minimize the use of pen or pencil for writing can increase work efficiency. This means people can save their time in working, and reduce fatigue, have more free time to relax. If a person has more free time, they could do another works or spend more time for their family, so this can improve their quality of life.
In conclusion, there is an increasing quantity of people no longer used pen or pencil for writing because of various sources for people who need to write have available in every single modern device today. In addition, it brings positive development due to increased productivity and work efficiency.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "humanity is in an age of cutting-edge technology" -> "humanity is in an era of advanced technology"
   Explanation: Replacing "cutting-edge" with "advanced" provides a more formal and precise term that is commonly used in academic contexts to describe the latest technological advancements.

2. "this can have positive consequences" -> "this may yield positive outcomes"
   Explanation: "May yield positive outcomes" is more formal and academically appropriate than "can have positive consequences," which is somewhat vague and informal.

3. "Fewer people use pen or pencil to write today" -> "Fewer individuals now opt for writing with pen or pencil"
   Explanation: "Opt for writing with" is a more precise and formal way to express the choice of writing tools, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.

4. "there are many different types of support equipment and tools help them in writing have appeared" -> "numerous types of writing aids have emerged"
   Explanation: Simplifying the phrase to "numerous types of writing aids have emerged" removes redundancy and enhances clarity, making it more suitable for academic writing.

5. "approach various writing way" -> "utilize various writing methods"
   Explanation: "Utilize various writing methods" is more precise and formal than "approach various writing way," which is grammatically incorrect and informal.

6. "less used traditional writing way" -> "less frequently employ traditional writing methods"
   Explanation: "Less frequently employ traditional writing methods" corrects the grammatical error and uses more formal language suitable for academic writing.

7. "computer and other smart devices provide many useful browsers and websites" -> "computers and other smart devices offer numerous useful browsers and websites"
   Explanation: "Offer" is more formal than "provide," and "numerous" is more precise than "many," aligning better with academic style.

8. "can help people take notes and edit text faster and exactly" -> "facilitate faster and more precise note-taking and editing"
   Explanation: "Facilitate" is a more formal verb than "can help," and "faster and more precise" is a more concise and academically appropriate way to describe the benefits of technology in writing.

9. "a less commonly used traditional writing style can be the way to protect our environment" -> "the reduced use of traditional writing methods can contribute to environmental protection"
   Explanation: "Contribute to environmental protection" is a more precise and formal way to express the environmental benefits of reduced writing with traditional methods.

10. "the less people use it, the less they depend on paper" -> "the less it is used, the less it is dependent on paper"
    Explanation: Changing to the passive voice ("it is used") improves the sentence structure and clarity, making it more suitable for formal writing.

11. "Minimize the use of pen or pencil for writing can increase work efficiency" -> "Reducing the use of pen or pencil for writing can enhance work efficiency"
    Explanation: "Reducing" is more specific and formal than "minimize," and "enhance" is a more precise term than "increase" in this context, aligning better with academic style.

12. "they could do another works" -> "they could engage in other tasks"
    Explanation: "Engage in other tasks" is grammatically correct and more formal than "do another works," which is incorrect and informal.

13. "spend more time for their family" -> "spend more time with their families"
    Explanation: "With their families" is grammatically correct and more natural than "for their family," which is awkward and incorrect in this context.

14. "there is an increasing quantity of people no longer used pen or pencil for writing" -> "there is an increasing number of individuals who no longer use pen or pencil for writing"
    Explanation: "Increasing number of individuals" is grammatically correct and more formal than "increasing quantity of people," and "who no longer use" corrects the verb tense to match the context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing the reasons for the decline in handwriting and presenting a viewpoint on whether this is a positive or negative development. The reasons provided include the advent of technology and the availability of various writing tools, which are relevant to the first part of the question. However, the explanation lacks depth and could benefit from more specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument. The conclusion reiterates the positive aspect but does not fully explore the potential negative consequences of this trend, which is also part of the prompt.
  • How to improve: To comprehensively address all elements of the question, the essay should include a more balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects of the decline in handwriting. Providing specific examples or case studies that illustrate both sides would enhance the depth of the analysis.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the decline in handwriting is a positive development. However, the reasoning behind this stance is somewhat vague and could be better articulated. Phrases like "this essay believes" are less formal and weaken the authoritative tone expected in an academic essay. Additionally, the transition between discussing reasons for the decline and the positive implications could be smoother.
  • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should use more formal language and avoid phrases that undermine the argument’s strength. Clear topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs would help reinforce the position throughout the essay.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the reasons for the decline in handwriting and its positive implications, such as increased efficiency and productivity. However, these ideas are not fully developed. For instance, the mention of environmental benefits is introduced but not elaborated upon, leaving the reader wanting more context and evidence.
  • How to improve: To effectively present, extend, and support ideas, the writer should elaborate on each point with examples, data, or anecdotes. This could involve discussing how technology specifically enhances productivity or providing statistics on paper usage and its environmental impact.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the decline of handwriting and its implications. However, there are moments where the argument strays slightly, particularly in the discussion of free time and its relation to quality of life, which could be more directly tied back to the main topic of handwriting.
  • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance to the topic, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the decline in handwriting and its implications. Each paragraph should reinforce the central argument, avoiding tangential discussions that do not directly support the thesis.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the prompt and presents a clear position, it would benefit from more detailed development of ideas, a balanced exploration of both sides of the argument, and improved coherence and cohesion throughout.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear progression of ideas, starting with the decline of handwriting and moving to the reasons behind it, followed by the implications of this trend. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing technology’s advantages to environmental benefits feels abrupt. The connection between these ideas is not clearly articulated, which can confuse the reader.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that outline the main idea. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. For example, after discussing technological advancements, explicitly link how these advancements contribute to environmental benefits before moving on to the positive implications for productivity.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their structure could be more effective. Each paragraph contains multiple ideas that could be better organized. For example, the second paragraph discusses both technological tools and environmental benefits, which could be separated into distinct paragraphs for clarity.
  • How to improve: Aim for one main idea per paragraph. Start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details. For instance, create one paragraph focused solely on the technological advancements that reduce the need for handwriting, and another that discusses the environmental implications. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "because," "moreover," and "for example," which help connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some transitions feel forced or unclear. For instance, the phrase "this means" is repeated, leading to a lack of variety in linking ideas.
  • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "in addition," "furthermore," "consequently," and "on the other hand." Additionally, consider using pronouns and synonyms to avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "this means," you could use "this implies" or "this suggests," which would enhance the flow of the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately improving the overall clarity and effectiveness of the argument presented.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with phrases like "cutting-edge technology," "support equipment," and "beneficial impact." However, there are instances of repetitive language, such as the repeated use of "writing" and "people." This limits the lexical variety and can detract from the overall quality of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms and related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "writing," alternatives such as "composing," "inscribing," or "drafting" could be employed. Additionally, using varied phrases to describe technology, such as "digital tools" or "electronic devices," would enrich the vocabulary.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "gradually less used traditional writing way" is awkward and unclear. The term "exactly" in "edit text faster and exactly" is also misused; "accurately" would be more appropriate in this context.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on clarity and appropriateness of word choice. Revising awkward phrases for clarity is essential. For instance, "the traditional method of writing is gradually being used less" would be clearer. Additionally, ensuring that words are used in their correct contexts will enhance the overall precision of the vocabulary.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "beneficial" (spelled as "beneficial"), "no longer used" (should be "no longer using"), and "another works" (should be "another task"). These errors can distract the reader and detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or engaging in dictation exercises. Additionally, proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help catch and correct spelling mistakes. Reading more extensively can also help familiarize the writer with correct spelling patterns.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the opening sentence, "The number of people who write by hand using pen or pencil is steadily declining," effectively uses a complex structure. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as "Fewer people use pen or pencil to write today because…" which could be varied further. Additionally, phrases like "this can have positive consequences" are somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific language.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that combine ideas. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Fewer people use," try starting with dependent clauses or using participial phrases. Additionally, using more varied transitional phrases can help connect ideas more fluidly, such as "In addition to this," or "Furthermore."

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally good command of grammar, but there are notable errors that affect clarity and coherence. For example, the phrase "different types of support equipment and tools help them in writing have appeared" is awkwardly constructed and could confuse readers. Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the comma splice in "this can have positive consequences because they can improve human life," detract from the overall quality. The use of "therefore" is also misplaced; it should be preceded by a semicolon or period.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on sentence clarity. Break down complex ideas into simpler sentences where necessary, and ensure that each sentence has a clear subject and verb. Review punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage and sentence boundaries. Reading the essay aloud can help identify awkward phrasing and punctuation errors. Additionally, practicing with grammar exercises focused on common errors can reinforce correct usage.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, there are areas for improvement in sentence variety and grammatical precision. By diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical accuracy, the overall quality of writing can be significantly enhanced.

Bài sửa mẫu

The number of people who write by hand using pen or pencil is steadily declining. This trend can be attributed to the fact that humanity is in an era of advanced technology, which offers many advantages. As a result, this shift may yield positive outcomes, as it can enhance human life.

Fewer individuals now opt for writing with pen or pencil because numerous types of writing aids have emerged. This means people have more opportunities to utilize various writing methods, leading to a gradual decrease in the use of traditional writing techniques. For example, computers and other smart devices provide many useful browsers and websites, such as Microsoft Word and Google Docs, which facilitate faster and more precise note-taking and editing. Moreover, the reduced use of traditional writing methods can contribute to environmental protection; the less it is used, the less it is dependent on paper.

Given the significant benefits this trend brings to humanity, this essay argues that it should be viewed positively. Reducing the use of pen or pencil for writing can enhance work efficiency. This means people can save time in their tasks, reduce fatigue, and have more free time to relax. If individuals have more free time, they could engage in other activities or spend more time with their families, thereby improving their overall quality of life.

In conclusion, there is an increasing number of individuals who no longer use pen or pencil for writing due to the various resources available on modern devices today. Additionally, this development is positive, as it leads to increased productivity and work efficiency.