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Films that are based on true stories or historical events ought to be completely accurate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Films that are based on true stories or historical events ought to be completely accurate.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People have different views with regard to whether historical documentary films have to be created correctly. In this essay, I would contend the significant merits of the accuracy of historical documentaries and totally agree with the aforementiond line of thinking.
It is understandable why people are in favor of the idea that this kind of film could be made with some alterations from the truth. Because of entertainment purposes, a host of filmmakers could modify and distort the truth of these stories to attract more viewers. However, this thinking is flawed since it may falsify relevant information among audiences. Not to mention, it could not only fail to retain fans, but also receive harshly mixed reactions since disrespect towards historical events and figures, causing huge losses in film budgets. For instance, a film titled “Đất rừng Phương Nam” narrated a piece of Vietnamese history but it sparked much controversy. In this film, the Vietnamese ancient costumes were designed with details and materials from China so it received a great deal of criticism from audiences.
Moreover, the authenticity of historical films would be valid for educational purposes. These documentaries has to be made accurately to bring a deep insight about history to watchers and also avoid their misconceptions and misunderstandings. For example, history taught at school often is ignored by students due to the tedious teaching method. Therefore, for acquiring more knowledge about real-life stories or historical events, they could seek out documentary films. As a result, films that nailed historical accuracy are crucial to keep the culture and historical values from generation to generation.
In conclusion, I am convinced that documentaries revolving around real stories or historical facts should be produced rightfully due to their historical integrity and societal advantages.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "totally agree" -> "strongly advocate"
    Explanation: Using "totally agree" sounds more casual. "Strongly advocate" maintains the assertion but elevates the formality and precision of the statement in an academic context.

  2. "aforementiond" -> "aforementioned"
    Explanation: The correct spelling is "aforementioned," maintaining formal language standards and clarity in academic writing.

  3. "Because of entertainment purposes" -> "Due to entertainment objectives"
    Explanation: The original phrase lacks formality. "Due to entertainment objectives" maintains the meaning while aligning with academic language standards.

  4. "a host of filmmakers" -> "numerous filmmakers"
    Explanation: "A host of" is informal; "numerous" fits better in formal contexts, enhancing the academic tone.

  5. "falsify relevant information among audiences" -> "misrepresent pertinent information to audiences"
    Explanation: "Falsify" is less formal. "Misrepresent" aligns better with academic writing standards.

  6. "fail to retain fans" -> "lose audience retention"
    Explanation: "Fail to retain fans" is informal. Using "lose audience retention" maintains formality and clarity.

  7. "receive harshly mixed reactions" -> "garner diverse and critical responses"
    Explanation: "Harshly mixed reactions" is informal. "Garner diverse and critical responses" sounds more academic and precise.

  8. "huge losses in film budgets" -> "significant financial setbacks in film budgets"
    Explanation: "Huge losses" is informal. "Significant financial setbacks" maintains formality and specificity.

  9. "it sparked much controversy" -> "it generated considerable controversy"
    Explanation: "Sparked much controversy" is less formal. "Generated considerable controversy" sounds more academic.

  10. "narrated a piece of Vietnamese history" -> "depicted a segment of Vietnamese history"
    Explanation: "Narrated" is less precise in this context. "Depicted" is more appropriate for visual media in academic language.

  11. "ancient costumes were designed" -> "historical costumes were crafted"
    Explanation: "Ancient costumes" can be vague. "Historical costumes were crafted" is more specific and formal.

  12. "a great deal of criticism" -> "considerable criticism"
    Explanation: "A great deal of" is informal. "Considerable criticism" maintains formality and precision.

  13. "insight about history to watchers" -> "insight into history for viewers"
    Explanation: "About history to watchers" is less formal. "Into history for viewers" sounds more appropriate in academic writing.

  14. "also avoid their misconceptions and misunderstandings" -> "and mitigate potential misconceptions and misunderstandings"
    Explanation: "Also avoid their misconceptions and misunderstandings" lacks precision. "Mitigate potential misconceptions and misunderstandings" is more formal.

  15. "acquiring more knowledge" -> "gaining further knowledge"
    Explanation: "Acquiring more" is slightly informal. "Gaining further knowledge" is more precise and formal.

  16. "real-life stories or historical events" -> "actual narratives or historical occurrences"
    Explanation: "Real-life stories" could be more specific. "Actual narratives or historical occurrences" is more formal.

  17. "films that nailed historical accuracy" -> "films that accurately depict history"
    Explanation: "Nailed historical accuracy" is informal. "Accurately depict history" maintains formality.

  18. "produced rightfully" -> "created with integrity"
    Explanation: "Produced rightfully" lacks precision. "Created with integrity" is more formal and specific in context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "People have different views with regard to whether historical documentary films have to be created correctly. In this essay, I would contend the significant merits of the accuracy of historical documentaries and totally agree with the aforementioned line of thinking."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction effectively presents the writer’s stance on the topic, but it would benefit from a more concise and focused thesis statement. Consider rephrasing for clarity and directness, stating the main points to be discussed.
    • Improved example: "The accuracy of historical documentaries is a subject of debate. This essay strongly advocates for the merits of historical accuracy, supporting the view that deviations from the truth can have significant drawbacks."
  2. Quoted text: "It is understandable why people are in favor of the idea that this kind of film could be made with some alterations from the truth. Because of entertainment purposes, a host of filmmakers could modify and distort the truth of these stories to attract more viewers. However, this thinking is flawed since it may falsify relevant information among audiences."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While the argument is generally well-developed, there is a need for more depth in exploring the potential consequences of altering historical facts for entertainment purposes. Provide specific examples or scenarios to strengthen the argument and make it more persuasive.
    • Improved example: "While it is tempting for filmmakers to alter historical facts for entertainment, doing so may not only compromise the integrity of the information but also risk distorting the audience’s understanding of historical events. For instance, portraying historical figures inaccurately could lead to misconceptions among viewers."
  3. Quoted text: "Moreover, the authenticity of historical films would be valid for educational purposes. These documentaries have to be made accurately to bring a deep insight about history to watchers and also avoid their misconceptions and misunderstandings."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The point regarding the educational value of historical films is valid, but the explanation lacks specificity. To strengthen this, provide concrete examples or elaborate on how accurate historical films contribute to a deeper understanding of history and help avoid misconceptions.
    • Improved example: "Furthermore, accurate historical films play a crucial role in education by providing viewers with a nuanced understanding of historical events. For instance, a well-crafted historical documentary can delve into the complexities of historical situations, fostering a more profound insight among audiences and dispelling common misconceptions."

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the task, but further depth and specificity in examples would enhance the overall Task Response score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with a clear progression throughout. The introduction provides a thesis statement, and each paragraph contributes to the development of the argument. The use of cohesive devices is generally appropriate, contributing to the overall coherence. However, there are instances of minor issues, such as the phrase "the aforementiond line of thinking" in the introduction, which could slightly impact cohesion. The essay effectively presents a central topic within each paragraph, and paragraphing is generally logical.

How to improve:
To enhance cohesion, ensure that all phrases and expressions are accurate and well-constructed. Consider revising phrases like "the aforementiond line of thinking" for better clarity. Additionally, pay attention to the appropriate use of cohesive devices to avoid any under- or over-use. While paragraphing is generally logical, strive for even smoother transitions between paragraphs for a more seamless flow.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow flexibility and precision in expression. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. However, occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation are present. For instance, the misspelling of "aforementioned" as "aforementiond" and the grammatical error in "have to be created correctly" should be noted.

The essay effectively conveys the argument with a mix of common and less common vocabulary. It shows an understanding of the topic and utilizes language to express ideas coherently. While there are some language inaccuracies, they do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve:
To enhance lexical resource, focus on eliminating minor errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation. Pay attention to precision and accuracy in expression, ensuring that all vocabulary used aligns with the intended meaning. Proofread the essay to catch spelling and grammatical errors before submission.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good command of grammatical structures, including a variety of complex sentences. While there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they do not significantly impede communication. The essay maintains a consistent and clear argument throughout, with appropriate use of vocabulary.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy further, the writer should focus on refining sentence structures, ensuring the proper use of verb tenses, and addressing minor punctuation errors. Additionally, attention to article usage and word choice could contribute to overall precision in expression.

Bài sửa mẫu

There are varying opinions on whether historical documentaries should adhere to absolute accuracy. In this essay, I will advocate for the significant merits of the precision in historical documentaries and wholeheartedly agree with this perspective.

It is understandable why some people support the idea that these films could incorporate some alterations for entertainment purposes. Filmmakers may be inclined to modify and distort the truth to attract a larger audience. However, this perspective is flawed as it may falsify crucial information for viewers. Moreover, it not only risks losing fans but also invites mixed reactions, potentially harming film budgets. For instance, the film “Đất rừng Phương Nam,” depicting a piece of Vietnamese history, stirred controversy. In this film, Vietnamese ancient costumes were inaccurately designed with details and materials from China, leading to significant criticism from the audience.

Furthermore, the authenticity of historical films holds value for educational purposes. These documentaries must be crafted accurately to provide a profound insight into history, helping to prevent misconceptions and misunderstandings. For example, traditional history lessons in schools are often ignored by students due to tedious teaching methods. To gain a deeper understanding of real-life stories or historical events, students can turn to documentary films. Therefore, films that maintain historical accuracy are crucial for preserving culture and historical values across generations.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that documentaries portraying real stories or historical facts should be produced with precision, considering their historical integrity and societal benefits.

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