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globalization

globalization

It is known that erudite specialists are specialists who know not only all the ins and outs of their specialties – their fields of knowledge, but also the adjacent areas, which enables them to analyze processes from different perspectives

One of the primary ways in which globalization has benefited developing countries is by increasing trade and investment. Like developed countries, developing countries have been able to take advantage of globalization by opening up their economies to international trade and investment. This has allowed them to access new markets and to tap into new sources of capital. As a result, developing countries have experienced an increase in economic growth and have become more prosperous. In addition to increasing trade and investment, globalization has also benefited developing countries by providing them with new technology and knowledge. Developing countries have been able to access new technology through globalization and have used it to improve their economic productivity. In addition, developing countries have also been able to benefit from the knowledge and expertise of other countries. This has allowed them to improve their own economic and social development. Despite the benefits that globalization has brought to both developed and developing countries, it is important to note that there are some negative aspects of globalization as well. One of the primary negative aspects of globalization is that it has increased economic inequality between countries. Globalization has benefited developed countries more than developing countries, and this has led to a widening of the economic gap between the two groups of countries. In addition, globalization has also led to the increased exploitation of developing countries by developed countries. This is because developed countries have been able to use their economic and political power to take advantage of developing countries.

According to this assessment, people think that developed countries receive more benefits from globalization than developing countries. This is not to say that developing countries do not benefit from globalization, it has certainly made significant progress in recent years. However, people believe that country developers have been more successful in reaping the benefits of globalization in general. But it is people who can clearly see that the negatives of globalization are clearly not equal to the benefits of globalization. This can make it possible for country developers to better take advantage of new technologies, promote economic growth, improve vitality, enhance international trade, investment and especially medical progress. Globalization has led to the development of new technologies that have made it possible for developing countries to catch up to developed countries. In addition, globalization has led to the development of new markets that provide opportunities for both developed and developing countries.economy, and has been more successful in creating new jobs and businesses. As a result, it can be said that globalization benefits both developed and developing countries.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "It is known that erudite specialists are specialists who know not only all the ins and outs of their specialties – their fields of knowledge, but also the adjacent areas, which enables them to analyze processes from different perspectives."
    -> "It is recognized that erudite specialists possess comprehensive knowledge not only within their specific fields but also in related areas. This proficiency enables them to analyze processes from diverse perspectives."
    Explanation: The term "it is known" is a bit informal and can be replaced with "it is recognized." The phrase "ins and outs" is colloquial, and "fields of knowledge" is a more formal expression.

  2. "One of the primary ways in which globalization has benefited developing countries is by increasing trade and investment."
    -> "A key mechanism through which globalization has contributed to the advancement of developing countries is by fostering increased trade and investment."
    Explanation: The term "primary ways" can be refined to "key mechanism," enhancing the formality of the sentence. Additionally, replacing "benefited" with "contributed to the advancement" adds precision to the statement.

  3. "This has allowed them to access new markets and to tap into new sources of capital."
    -> "This has enabled them to access new markets and leverage new sources of capital."
    Explanation: The use of "allowed" can be replaced with "enabled," which is a more formal and precise term. Also, combining the two instances of "and" improves the flow and conciseness of the sentence.

  4. "Despite the benefits that globalization has brought to both developed and developing countries, it is important to note that there are some negative aspects of globalization as well."
    -> "Despite the advantages that globalization has conferred upon both developed and developing countries, it is essential to acknowledge the existence of certain adverse aspects of globalization."
    Explanation: Replacing "benefits" with "advantages" and "brought" with "conferred upon" enhances the formality of the sentence. Additionally, using "essential to acknowledge" adds a higher level of importance to the statement.

  5. "According to this assessment, people think that developed countries receive more benefits from globalization than developing countries."
    -> "According to this assessment, it is widely believed that developed countries derive greater advantages from globalization compared to developing countries."
    Explanation: Replacing "think" with "widely believed" and "benefits" with "advantages" contributes to a more formal and precise expression of the idea.

  6. "This is not to say that developing countries do not benefit from globalization, it has certainly made significant progress in recent years."
    -> "This is not to imply that developing countries do not derive benefits from globalization; indeed, they have made significant progress in recent years."
    Explanation: The use of "imply" is more formal than "say," and restructuring the sentence improves clarity and formality.

  7. "But it is people who can clearly see that the negatives of globalization are clearly not equal to the benefits of globalization."
    -> "However, observers can clearly discern that the drawbacks of globalization are not equivalent to its benefits."
    Explanation: The repetition of "clearly" is eliminated for better style, and the term "observers" is more formal than "people."

  8. "This can make it possible for country developers to better take advantage of new technologies, promote economic growth, improve vitality, enhance international trade, investment and especially medical progress."
    -> "This enables nations to more effectively leverage new technologies, foster economic growth, enhance vitality, and advance international trade, investment, particularly in the field of medical progress."
    Explanation: The phrase "make it possible for country developers" is replaced with "enables nations to," which is more concise and formal. The list of actions is organized for clarity and formality.

  9. "Globalization has led to the development of new technologies that have made it possible for developing countries to catch up to developed countries."
    -> "Globalization has facilitated the emergence of new technologies, empowering developing countries to narrow the gap with their developed counterparts."
    Explanation: The term "catch up" is replaced with "narrow the gap," offering a more precise and formal expression. Additionally, "empowering" is a more formal term than "made it possible."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses the different aspects of the globalization prompt. It discusses both the positive and negative impacts, covering economic growth, technological access, knowledge transfer, and the downside of increased economic inequality and exploitation. Relevant sections from the essay have been cited to support this observation.
    • How to improve: To further enhance task response, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples or case studies to illustrate points. This can add depth to the analysis and strengthen the overall argument.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, asserting that globalization benefits both developed and developing countries while acknowledging the negative aspects. The stance is consistently presented and supported throughout the essay.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the position, consider explicitly stating the main argument in the introduction and conclusion. This will reinforce the clarity of the essay’s standpoint.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas related to the positive and negative impacts of globalization. It extends these ideas by discussing economic growth, technological advancements, and the development of new markets. Specific instances from the essay are cited to illustrate the point.
    • How to improve: To enhance idea development, consider providing more detailed examples or statistics to support arguments. This will add substance to the essay and bolster the overall analysis.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the various aspects of globalization as related to both developed and developing countries. However, there are instances where the essay drifts into a more general discussion about globalization without directly tying it back to the prompt.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each point made relates directly to the impact of globalization on both developed and developing countries. Avoid broader statements that do not contribute to the specific aspects outlined in the prompt.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively addresses the positive and negative aspects of globalization. To improve, consider providing more specific examples, explicitly stating the main argument, offering detailed evidence, and ensuring all points directly relate to the prompt.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. The introduction introduces the idea of erudite specialists and sets the stage for discussing the benefits and drawbacks of globalization. The body paragraphs follow a logical progression, first addressing the benefits and then discussing the negative aspects. However, there is a slight disconnect between the initial focus on erudite specialists and the subsequent discussion on globalization, which may confuse the reader.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure a seamless transition from the introduction to the main topic of globalization. Clearly outline the essay’s roadmap in the introduction to guide the reader through the structure of the essay.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs adequately, but the structure could be refined for better coherence. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of globalization, but some paragraphs are lengthy, making it challenging for the reader to follow the argument closely. A more balanced distribution of ideas across well-structured paragraphs would improve readability.
    • How to improve: Break down longer paragraphs into more concise units, each focusing on a specific point. This helps in maintaining a clear and organized flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the overall thesis.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect ideas and create a sense of flow. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying the range of cohesive devices used. The repetition of certain phrases, such as "developing countries," could be minimized for a more varied and sophisticated expression of ideas.
    • How to improve: Introduce a broader array of cohesive devices, including synonyms and varied sentence structures. This not only enhances coherence but also adds richness to the language. Be mindful of word repetition and explore alternative vocabulary for greater lexical variety.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a commendable level of coherence and cohesion, earning a band score of 7. Improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will further elevate the clarity and effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. There are instances where the writer employs more advanced words and expressions, such as "erudite specialists" and "adjacent areas." However, some areas lack variety, and there is a repetition of certain terms like "developing countries" and "globalization."
    • How to improve: To enhance the vocabulary range, consider using synonyms and varied expressions to avoid repetition. Explore alternative terms for frequently used phrases to add depth to the vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The precision of vocabulary usage is generally satisfactory. However, there are instances where terms like "country developers" may be imprecise or unclear. It is essential to use terms that accurately convey the intended meaning to maintain clarity.
    • How to improve: Aim for precision in word choice. Instead of "country developers," consider using terms like "developed nations" or "industrialized countries" for clearer communication. Ensure that each term used aligns precisely with the context.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a reasonable level of spelling accuracy, with no major spelling errors detected. However, there are some minor issues, such as missing articles ("the") and awkward phrasing ("it is people"). While these do not significantly hinder understanding, improving spelling precision can enhance overall clarity.
    • How to improve: Pay careful attention to articles and sentence structure during the proofreading process. Reading the essay aloud can help identify areas where corrections are needed. Consider seeking feedback from others to catch potential spelling or grammatical issues.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a competent use of vocabulary, there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Additionally, refining spelling accuracy, particularly with articles and sentence structure, can contribute to an overall enhancement of the lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. While there is an attempt to vary sentence lengths and styles, the essay primarily relies on simple and compound sentences. There is limited use of complex structures or varied sentence beginnings, which can affect the overall sophistication of the writing.
    • How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range, incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses, appositives, and inverted sentences. Additionally, experiment with sentence beginnings to avoid repetitiveness. This will contribute to a more engaging and varied writing style.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates reasonably accurate grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, "It is known that erudite specialists are specialists" is redundant and can be revised for clarity. There are also some issues with subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference that need attention. Punctuation, while generally correct, could be improved for smoother readability.
    • How to improve: Pay close attention to sentence structure and eliminate redundancy. Review and revise sentences for better clarity and precision. Work on subject-verb agreement and ensure that pronoun references are clear. Additionally, fine-tune punctuation, focusing on proper comma usage and sentence-ending punctuation for better flow.

In summary, while the essay exhibits a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, there is room for improvement in grammatical range and accuracy. By incorporating more diverse sentence structures and addressing specific grammatical issues, the essay can achieve an even higher level of sophistication and clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is acknowledged that erudite specialists possess in-depth knowledge not only within their specific fields but also in related areas, enabling them to analyze processes from various perspectives.

A key way in which globalization has advanced developing countries is by promoting increased trade and investment. Similar to developed countries, developing nations have capitalized on globalization by opening up their economies to international trade and investment. This has allowed them to access new markets and tap into fresh sources of capital, leading to increased economic growth and prosperity. Besides fostering trade and investment, globalization has also provided developing countries with access to new technology and knowledge. Through globalization, developing nations have acquired new technology, enhancing their economic productivity. Additionally, they have benefited from the knowledge and expertise of other countries, contributing to their economic and social development.

Despite the positive impacts of globalization on both developed and developing nations, it is crucial to recognize some negative aspects. A primary concern is the widening economic inequality between countries, with globalization favoring developed nations more than their developing counterparts. Moreover, globalization has resulted in increased exploitation of developing countries by developed nations, as the latter wield their economic and political power.

According to common perception, developed countries derive more benefits from globalization compared to developing countries. This is not to negate the fact that developing countries have indeed made significant progress in recent years. However, it is widely believed that developed nations have been more successful in reaping the overall benefits of globalization. Nevertheless, it is evident that the drawbacks of globalization do not equal its benefits.

This disparity allows nations, particularly developing ones, to effectively leverage new technologies, foster economic growth, enhance vitality, and advance in international trade and investment, notably in the field of medical progress. Globalization has facilitated the emergence of new technologies, empowering developing countries to narrow the gap with their developed counterparts. Additionally, it has led to the creation of new markets, offering opportunities for both developed and developing nations. In conclusion, it can be asserted that globalization brings about benefits for both developed and developing countries.

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