he chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

he chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK between 1990 and 2000.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The bar chart compares the number of kilometers travelled by five distinct modes of transportation spanning in 10 years from 1990 to 2000.
Overall, bus and rail were by far the most popular means of transport, as opposed to others. Another interesting highlight is that both bicycle and motorbike underwent a downturn which whilst the trend was reserved for the rest of surveyed categories.
In 1990, buses topped the list at 40 billion, followed by rail with approximately 35 billion. Furthermore, aviation travel was far left behind with only 2 billion in the same year. 10 years later, the passenger travel covered by bus, rail and air travel all slightly climbed to around 45 and 38 for the first two modes, respectively and less than 10 billion for the last one. Following the similar pattern, the total distance witnessed a rise of approximately 10 billion in the same year.
On the other hand, fewer kilometers were travelled by motorbike and bicycle during the same time frame with the former experiencing a negligible fall from 3 billion in 1990 to 2 billion in 2000 and the latter witnessing a change from 2,5 billion to a bit less than its initial number in 1990.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"spanning in 10 years" -> "spanning 10 years"
Explanation: The preposition "in" is unnecessary here; "spanning 10 years" is a more concise and grammatically correct expression.
"by far the most popular means of transport, as opposed to others" -> "the most popular modes of transportation compared to others"
Explanation: "By far" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "the most" for a more academic tone. "Modes of transportation" is a more precise term than "means of transport."
"Another interesting highlight is that" -> "Another notable observation is that"
Explanation: "Interesting highlight" is vague and informal; "notable observation" is more precise and aligns better with academic language.
"underwent a downturn which whilst the trend was reserved for the rest of surveyed categories" -> "experienced a decline, a trend that was not observed in the other categories surveyed"
Explanation: "Underwent a downturn" is less formal; "experienced a decline" is clearer. The phrase "which whilst the trend was reserved for" is awkward and unclear; "a trend that was not observed in the other categories surveyed" is clearer and more precise.
"topped the list at 40 billion" -> "ranked highest at 40 billion"
Explanation: "Topped the list" is informal; "ranked highest" is more precise and maintains an academic tone.
"far left behind" -> "significantly lagged behind"
Explanation: "Far left behind" is informal and vague; "significantly lagged behind" is more precise and conveys a clearer meaning.
"the passenger travel covered by bus, rail and air travel all slightly climbed to around 45 and 38 for the first two modes, respectively and less than 10 billion for the last one" -> "the passenger travel for bus, rail, and air travel slightly increased to approximately 45 billion, 38 billion, and less than 10 billion, respectively"
Explanation: "Covered by" is awkward; "for" is more straightforward. "Slightly climbed" can be replaced with "slightly increased" for clarity. Adding "billion" after each number enhances precision.
"Following the similar pattern" -> "Following a similar pattern"
Explanation: "The" is unnecessary; "a similar pattern" is more grammatically correct.
"fewer kilometers were travelled by motorbike and bicycle during the same time frame" -> "fewer kilometers were traveled by motorbike and bicycle during the same period"
Explanation: "Time frame" is somewhat informal; "period" is more concise and appropriate in an academic context.
"the former experiencing a negligible fall from 3 billion in 1990 to 2 billion in 2000" -> "the former experiencing a minimal decline from 3 billion in 1990 to 2 billion in 2000"
Explanation: "Negligible fall" is less precise; "minimal decline" is clearer and more formal.
"the latter witnessing a change from 2,5 billion to a bit less than its initial number in 1990" -> "the latter experiencing a decrease from 2.5 billion to slightly below its initial figure in 1990"
Explanation: "Witnessing a change" is vague; "experiencing a decrease" is more precise. "A bit less than" is informal; "slightly below" is clearer and maintains an academic tone.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the chart, including the most popular modes of transport and the trends in passenger travel over the decade. The essay also makes some comparisons between the different modes of transport. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "the total distance witnessed a rise of approximately 10 billion in the same year" but does not specify which year.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the trends in passenger travel. For example, the essay could state that bus travel increased by 12.5% between 1990 and 2000, while rail travel increased by 8.5%. The essay could also provide more accurate information about the changes in motorbike and bicycle travel. For example, the essay could state that motorbike travel decreased by 33.3% between 1990 and 2000, while bicycle travel decreased by 10%.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, presenting a clear overall progression. It effectively uses cohesive devices, but some instances of cohesion are mechanical or faulty, such as the phrase "the trend was reserved for the rest of surveyed categories," which lacks clarity. The paragraphing is present but could be improved for better logical flow, particularly in separating distinct ideas and trends more clearly.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph clearly presents a single central idea. Additionally, improving the clarity of references and avoiding vague phrases will help create a more logical progression of ideas. More attention to paragraph structure could also enhance the overall organization of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task. The use of terms like "distinct modes of transportation," "underwent a downturn," and "topped the list" indicates an attempt to use less common vocabulary. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the trend was reserved for the rest of surveyed categories," which is unclear and awkwardly phrased. Additionally, there are errors in spelling and word formation, such as "2,5 billion" instead of "2.5 billion," which detracts from clarity but does not completely impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with more precision and accuracy. This includes refining word choices to avoid awkward phrases and ensuring correct spelling and punctuation. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions, while maintaining clarity, would also elevate the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. While there are some attempts at complex structures, the essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, phrases like "spanning in 10 years" and "the trend was reserved for the rest of surveyed categories" are not idiomatic and may confuse the reader. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation, such as inconsistent use of commas and missing articles, which detract from the overall accuracy of the writing. However, the meaning is generally clear, and the errors do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Enhance Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures while ensuring grammatical accuracy.
Minimize Errors: Proofread the essay to correct grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing, ensuring that sentences flow more naturally.
Improve Punctuation: Pay attention to punctuation rules to enhance clarity and readability.
Use Idiomatic Expressions: Familiarize yourself with common phrases and idiomatic expressions to improve the overall fluency of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart compares the total distance travelled by five distinct modes of transportation over a 10-year period from 1990 to 2000.

Overall, buses and rail were by far the most popular means of transport, in contrast to the other modes. Another notable point is that both bicycles and motorbikes experienced a decline, while the trend for the remaining categories was upward.

In 1990, buses topped the list at 40 billion kilometers, followed by rail with approximately 35 billion. Furthermore, aviation travel lagged significantly behind with only 2 billion kilometers in the same year. By 2000, the distance travelled by bus, rail, and air travel all saw slight increases, reaching around 45 billion and 38 billion for the first two modes, respectively, and less than 10 billion for the latter. Following a similar pattern, the total distance travelled increased by approximately 10 billion kilometers during this period.

Conversely, fewer kilometers were travelled by motorbikes and bicycles during the same timeframe, with the former experiencing a negligible decline from 3 billion kilometers in 1990 to 2 billion in 2000, and the latter witnessing a decrease from 2.5 billion to just below its initial figure in 1990.