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If the product is good and meets consumer needs then advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

If the product is good and meets consumer needs then advertising is unnecessary.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In the contemporary world, advertisements, regardless of formats, maintain their relevance as the key tool to boost commercialized products’ popularity and profitability. However, some individuals propose that in cases wherein a product is excellent enough, advertising may be redundant. Personally, I disagree with this school of thought, for that advertisements can serve to broaden the products’ appeal to a wider customer demographic.

To commence with, a number of people’s opinion that advertising is unnecessary for high-quality commodities is undoubtedly valid. One compelling reason for this belief is that excellent products have the inherent ability to draw customers’ attention. Being on a high level of quality and meeting consumers’ demands, these items can gradually build up their popularity through word of mouth among the general public and recommendations from reviewers, thereby establishing a stable and loyal consumer base needless of any promotion. The Chinese technology company Xiaomi can be taken as a prime example. Its smartphones are widely favored for their durability and exceptionally good specifications at fairly affordable prices, resulting in the brand’s growth in terms of popularity among the public without any advertising campaigns. In addition, businesses can save enormous amounts of revenue should they curtail their product promotion. To further elaborate, since the items have already developed an extensive group of customers, cutting down on the financial resources allocated to advertising would return a significant volume of capital to companies, which equals to more significant net worth.

Nevertheless, I would assert that advertising remains essential even if a product is outstanding enough to attract customers on its own. Firstly, quality does not guarantee products the recognition they deserve. In fact, in many cases, well-manufactured commodities are underrated by consumers on the grounds that they do not receive widespread promotion to expand their popularity within the market. Advertising can act as a crucial support in those circumstances, providing a foundation for products to appeal to more customers and achieve the desirable success. In addition, companies are also eligible for a higher overall reputation when they promote their well-made items using advertisements. In detail, they can leave a positive impression on customers when their quality products are widely advertised, potentially accumulating a firm consumer support for their future goods.

In conclusion, despite valid arguments for the unnecessary help from advertising in the circumstances of good products, I would contend that advertisements are still essential, in the sense that they provide products with sufficient exposure to the public, and benefit the reputational aspect of parent companies.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "boost commercialized products’ popularity" -> "enhance the popularity of commercialized products"
    Explanation: The suggested change maintains the meaning while employing a more formal expression, replacing the colloquial "boost" with "enhance."

  2. "cases wherein a product is excellent enough" -> "instances where a product exhibits excellence"
    Explanation: The modification replaces the informal "excellent enough" with a more precise and formal "exhibits excellence" for academic appropriateness.

  3. "that advertisements can serve to broaden the products’ appeal" -> "advertising can extend the appeal of products"
    Explanation: The revised wording is more concise and academically formal, replacing "serve to broaden" with "extend."

  4. "To commence with, a number of people’s opinion" -> "To begin with, the perspective of many individuals"
    Explanation: The phrase "To commence with" is replaced with the more formal "To begin with," and the possessive "people’s opinion" is refined to "the perspective of many individuals."

  5. "One compelling reason for this belief" -> "One persuasive rationale supporting this viewpoint"
    Explanation: The substitution enhances formality by replacing "compelling reason" with "persuasive rationale."

  6. "have the inherent ability to draw customers’ attention" -> "possess the inherent capability to attract customer interest"
    Explanation: The change maintains the original meaning while using more precise and formal language.

  7. "Being on a high level of quality" -> "Being of high quality"
    Explanation: The phrase is simplified for clarity and conciseness, aligning with academic style.

  8. "cutting down on the financial resources allocated to advertising would return a significant volume of capital to companies, which equals to more significant net worth." -> "reducing the financial resources allocated to advertising would contribute to a substantial increase in companies’ capital, leading to a more significant net worth."
    Explanation: The revision provides a more accurate and formal expression, replacing informal terms like "cutting down" and "equals to."

  9. "Nevertheless, I would assert" -> "Nevertheless, I would argue"
    Explanation: The term "assert" is replaced with "argue" for a more formal and precise expression.

  10. "underrated by consumers on the grounds that" -> "undervalued by consumers because"
    Explanation: The suggested change uses a more formal expression, replacing "on the grounds that" with "because."

  11. "In detail, they can leave a positive impression on customers when their quality products are widely advertised" -> "Specifically, they can create a positive impression among customers through widespread advertising of their quality products."
    Explanation: The revision maintains clarity while using more formal language, replacing the colloquial "In detail" with "Specifically."

  12. "potentially accumulating a firm consumer support for their future goods." -> "potentially building a strong consumer base for their future products."
    Explanation: The phrase is refined to a more formal expression, replacing "accumulating a firm consumer support" with "building a strong consumer base."

In conclusion, the suggested improvements aim to enhance the formality and precision of the essay’s language, aligning it more closely with academic standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "In the contemporary world, advertisements, regardless of formats, maintain their relevance as the key tool to boost commercialized products’ popularity and profitability. However, some individuals propose that in cases wherein a product is excellent enough, advertising may be redundant. Personally, I disagree with this school of thought, for that advertisements can serve to broaden the products’ appeal to a wider customer demographic."

    • Explanation and Improvement suggestion: The introduction effectively presents the writer’s position; however, it lacks a brief overview of the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Adding a sentence summarizing the key arguments would provide clarity to the reader about the essay’s structure.
    • Improved example: "In the contemporary world, advertisements play a crucial role in enhancing the popularity and profitability of commercialized products. While some argue that advertising becomes unnecessary for excellent products, I firmly disagree. In this essay, I will explore how advertisements not only broaden product appeal but also contribute to a wider customer demographic."
  2. Quoted text: "To commence with, a number of people’s opinion that advertising is unnecessary for high-quality commodities is undoubtedly valid. One compelling reason for this belief is that excellent products have the inherent ability to draw customers’ attention. Being on a high level of quality and meeting consumers’ demands, these items can gradually build up their popularity through word of mouth among the general public and recommendations from reviewers, thereby establishing a stable and loyal consumer base needless of any promotion."

    • Explanation and Improvement suggestion: The paragraph effectively presents the opposing view, but it lacks depth in providing reasons and examples to support the argument. To strengthen this section, the writer should offer specific examples or scenarios where excellent products gained popularity without advertising, reinforcing the argument.
    • Improved example: "To commence with, proponents of the view that advertising is unnecessary for high-quality commodities argue that excellent products can naturally draw customers’ attention. For instance, products like the Xiaomi smartphones, known for their durability and affordable prices, have gained immense popularity solely through word of mouth and positive reviews, establishing a loyal consumer base without the need for extensive promotion."
  3. Quoted text: "Nevertheless, I would assert that advertising remains essential even if a product is outstanding enough to attract customers on its own. Firstly, quality does not guarantee products the recognition they deserve."

    • Explanation and Improvement suggestion: The argument here is well-stated, but it would benefit from a more specific example to illustrate the point. Providing a concrete instance where a high-quality product faced obscurity due to lack of advertising would enhance the persuasiveness of the argument.
    • Improved example: "Nevertheless, I would assert that advertising remains essential even if a product is outstanding enough to attract customers on its own. For instance, consider a high-quality product that, despite its excellence, remained relatively unknown in the market due to a lack of advertising. Quality alone does not guarantee the recognition and success that effective advertising can bring."

Overall, the essay provides a clear position, but it could be strengthened by incorporating more specific examples and enhancing the depth of the arguments to support the writer’s perspective.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas with clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, contributing to overall coherence. The central topic within each paragraph is clear, and paragraphing is both sufficient and appropriate. While there is a solid use of cohesive devices, there are instances of slight underuse and overuse. However, these do not significantly hinder the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence further, consider maintaining a more consistent use of cohesive devices. Ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are seamless. Additionally, be cautious of potential overuse or underuse of cohesive elements. A more balanced utilization will contribute to a smoother flow of ideas. Overall, the essay is well-structured, but fine-tuning cohesive elements will strengthen coherence and cohesion, potentially elevating the score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in conveying ideas. There’s an attempt to incorporate less common lexical items, contributing to the overall quality of expression. The essay maintains coherence and presents arguments with clarity. However, occasional errors in word choice and expression slightly affect the precision and sophistication of language use.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, focus on refining word choice and ensuring the accuracy of less common vocabulary. Carefully proofreading for minor errors in word formation and expression would further elevate the essay’s sophistication. Aim for a more consistent and precise use of language to minimize occasional inaccuracies.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
This essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation with a variety of complex sentence structures. The essay successfully uses a mix of simple and complex sentences to convey ideas effectively. There is clear evidence of control over grammar and punctuation, with a majority of sentences being error-free. The errors present are minor and do not significantly hinder the overall communication of ideas.

The essay effectively employs a variety of sentence structures, showcasing the writer’s ability to construct complex sentences. The ideas are expressed coherently and logically, using a mix of simple and compound sentences to present arguments and examples.

Although some errors exist, such as minor punctuation issues and occasional awkward phrasing, these do not substantially detract from the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. The language use is generally accurate, displaying a good range of vocabulary and grammar structures.

How to Improve:
To further improve the essay’s grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining punctuation and sentence structure to enhance the overall fluency and coherence. Additionally, thorough proofreading could help identify and rectify minor errors, ensuring a smoother flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

In today’s world, advertisements play a crucial role in enhancing the popularity and profitability of commercial products, irrespective of their formats. However, some argue that if a product is of high quality and meets consumer needs, advertising becomes superfluous. Personally, I disagree with this viewpoint, as I believe advertisements can help extend a product’s appeal to a broader customer base.

To start with, the idea that advertising is unnecessary for top-notch products holds merit. One convincing argument is that outstanding products naturally attract attention. With their high quality and ability to fulfill consumers’ needs, such products can gain popularity through word of mouth and positive reviews, establishing a loyal customer base without the need for promotional efforts. A prime example is Xiaomi, a Chinese technology company, whose smartphones have gained widespread favor for their durability and impressive specifications at affordable prices. Xiaomi’s brand popularity has grown organically without the reliance on advertising campaigns. Additionally, reducing expenditure on advertising for already well-established products can significantly enhance a company’s financial standing.

However, I contend that advertising remains essential even for exceptional products. Firstly, high quality alone does not guarantee the recognition a product deserves. Often, well-manufactured goods go unnoticed because they lack widespread promotion. Advertising serves as crucial support, providing a platform for products to reach a wider audience and achieve the success they deserve. Furthermore, companies can build a stronger overall reputation by promoting their well-made products. By widely advertising their quality offerings, companies can leave a positive impression on consumers, potentially garnering steadfast support for their future products.

In conclusion, despite the valid argument that excellent products can thrive without advertising, I maintain that advertisements are still essential. They provide products with the exposure needed to reach the public and contribute positively to the reputation of the companies behind them.

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