In many countries, an increasing number of couples are choosing not have any. Why is it so? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend for couples choosing not to have any child

Wherever people live, they can purchase whatever they want by reason of the advent of international trade and globalization, which is the reason why countries have become similar. While I somewhat recognize the positive sides of this phenomenon, I mostly believe that this is a negative trend.

Opportunities to buy the same products have enhanced the mutual understanding concerning traditional cultures such as traditional garments or cuisine. To illustrate, those keen on Chinese food can arrive at specialized restaurants for that food in every corner of the world.
Conversely, the same products serve as a precursor to the gradual disappearance of cultural identities. In other words, unique products which have long been considered a symbol of pride among the locals, especially in traditional handicraft villages, are presently globalized and manufactured in a sheer volume with state-of-the-art machines, leading to a reduction in unique traditions and customs. This can be elaborated by one striking example, Hanfu, known as the most famous traditional handmade costume in China. With the global accessibility of the machine-made Hanfu attire, people could buy the same items no matter where they are in the world, posing a serious threat to the decrease in the sales of the traditional handmade ones and the unique art form in China.
Moreover, this trend can provoke the reduction in sales or even the closure of local businesses. People tend to buy products from large corporations worldwide, which means that the smaller companies and individual business households cannot compete with those big corporations, thereby giving rise to the loss of market share. Simultaneously, the local skilled workers face the dwindling demand for employment to sustain their livelihoods. As a consequence, local companies will go bankrupt.
To recapitulate, the same goods available globally, though advantageous for the mutual understanding of the cultural values in different countries, adversely impact on the survival of local cultural identities, and also cause the sales reduction or the bankruptcy of local businesses.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"Wherever people live" -> "Regardless of geographical location"
Explanation: Replacing "Wherever people live" with "Regardless of geographical location" maintains formality and eliminates the colloquial tone.
"they can purchase whatever they want" -> "they have access to a wide array of goods"
Explanation: "Purchase whatever they want" is too colloquial; "access to a wide array of goods" is more formal and precise.
"by reason of" -> "due to"
Explanation: "By reason of" is archaic; "due to" is a more concise and modern alternative.
"which is the reason why" -> "resulting in"
Explanation: "Which is the reason why" is redundant; "resulting in" provides a clearer transition.
"have become similar" -> "have converged"
Explanation: "Have become similar" is overly simplistic; "have converged" is more precise and formal.
"I somewhat recognize" -> "I acknowledge to some extent"
Explanation: "Somewhat recognize" is vague; "acknowledge to some extent" is more precise and formal.
"this is a negative trend" -> "this constitutes a detrimental development"
Explanation: "Negative trend" lacks specificity; "constitutes a detrimental development" is more formal and precise.
"Opportunities to buy the same products" -> "Access to identical products"
Explanation: "Opportunities to buy the same products" is wordy; "Access to identical products" is concise and formal.
"enhanced the mutual understanding" -> "fostered cross-cultural comprehension"
Explanation: "Enhanced the mutual understanding" is somewhat informal; "fostered cross-cultural comprehension" is more precise and formal.
"such as traditional garments or cuisine" -> "including traditional attire and cuisine"
Explanation: "Such as" is informal; "including" is more appropriate in academic writing.
"To illustrate" -> "For example"
Explanation: "To illustrate" is slightly formal; "For example" is a more common transition phrase in academic writing.
"Conversely" -> "However"
Explanation: "Conversely" is too strong here; "However" provides a more balanced transition.
"serve as a precursor to" -> "contribute to"
Explanation: "Serve as a precursor to" is overly formal; "contribute to" is more concise and appropriate.
"unique products" -> "distinctive goods"
Explanation: "Unique products" is somewhat generic; "distinctive goods" is more precise and formal.
"sheer volume" -> "significant quantity"
Explanation: "Sheer volume" is slightly informal; "significant quantity" is more formal.
"state-of-the-art machines" -> "cutting-edge technology"
Explanation: "State-of-the-art machines" is informal; "cutting-edge technology" is more precise and formal.
"elaborated by one striking example" -> "illustrated by a compelling instance"
Explanation: "Elaborated by one striking example" is verbose; "illustrated by a compelling instance" is more concise and formal.
"With the global accessibility of" -> "Due to the widespread availability of"
Explanation: "With the global accessibility of" is less formal; "Due to the widespread availability of" is more appropriate in academic writing.
"posing a serious threat to the decrease in" -> "posing a significant threat to the decline of"
Explanation: "Posing a serious threat to the decrease in" is awkward; "posing a significant threat to the decline of" is clearer and more formal.
"the sales of the traditional handmade ones" -> "the sales of traditional handmade garments"
Explanation: "The sales of the traditional handmade ones" is informal; "the sales of traditional handmade garments" is more specific and formal.
"local skilled workers face the dwindling demand for employment" -> "local skilled workers encounter a diminishing demand for employment"
Explanation: "Face the dwindling demand for employment" is less formal; "encounter a diminishing demand for employment" is more appropriate.
"to sustain their livelihoods" -> "to maintain their means of living"
Explanation: "Sustain their livelihoods" is somewhat informal; "maintain their means of living" is more formal.
"To recapitulate" -> "In summary"
Explanation: "To recapitulate" is formal but slightly archaic; "In summary" is more common in academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument regarding the impact of globalization on cultural identities and local businesses. It discusses the positive aspect of enhanced mutual understanding due to global availability of products while also acknowledging the negative consequences such as the loss of cultural uniqueness and the decline of local businesses.
- How to improve: While the essay does cover both aspects of the prompt, it could benefit from a clearer structure that explicitly addresses each part of the question. Providing a more distinct introduction and conclusion that summarize the advantages and disadvantages of the trend of globalization would enhance clarity.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay takes a clear stance against the trend of globalization, arguing that while it fosters mutual understanding, it primarily leads to the erosion of cultural identities and the downfall of local businesses. This position is maintained consistently throughout the essay.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the essay could explicitly state the author’s viewpoint in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion. Additionally, using transition phrases to signal shifts between discussing advantages and disadvantages would enhance coherence.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents its ideas adequately, offering examples such as the accessibility of Chinese food globally and the impact on traditional cultural attire like Hanfu. However, the development of these ideas could be more extensive to provide deeper analysis and insight.
- How to improve: To improve the depth of analysis, the essay could delve into the societal or economic implications of globalization on local communities and elaborate further on the consequences for cultural preservation and economic sustainability. Providing more diverse and nuanced examples would enrich the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the effects of globalization on cultural identities and local businesses, as prompted. However, there are instances where the focus drifts slightly, such as the mention of international trade and globalization at the beginning.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay could streamline its introduction to directly address the prompt without veering into broader discussions of international trade. Additionally, ensuring that every paragraph directly relates to the theme of globalization’s impact on cultural preservation and local economies would enhance coherence.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 4

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear attempt at organization, with a discernible introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are some issues with the logical flow of ideas. The essay begins by discussing the impact of international trade and globalization on cultural diversity, then transitions to the effects on local businesses. While both points are related to the overarching theme of globalization, the transition between them feels somewhat abrupt and could be smoother.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider structuring the essay in a more cohesive manner. Start with a clear thesis statement that outlines the main points to be discussed. Then, ensure each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, with smooth transitions between them. For instance, you could dedicate one paragraph to discussing the positive aspects of globalization on cultural exchange, another to its negative impact on cultural identity, and a third to its effects on local businesses.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay is divided into several paragraphs, each addressing a different aspect of the topic. However, some paragraphs are overly long, making it challenging for the reader to follow the flow of ideas effectively. Additionally, the lack of indentation or clear separation between paragraphs diminishes readability.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or argument and begins with a topic sentence that summarizes the main point. Use indentation or clear spacing between paragraphs to visually separate them, improving readability. Consider breaking down long paragraphs into shorter, more concise ones to enhance clarity and coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay makes use of cohesive devices such as transitions (e.g., "To illustrate," "Conversely," "Moreover," "To recapitulate") to connect ideas and guide the reader through the text. However, there is room for improvement in the variety and effectiveness of these devices. Some transitions feel repetitive or unnecessary, and there is a lack of cohesive devices within paragraphs to strengthen coherence.
- How to improve: Expand the range of cohesive devices used, including conjunctions, transitional phrases, and pronouns, to create a smoother flow of ideas. Ensure that transitions are used purposefully to connect related points and maintain coherence. Additionally, use cohesive devices within paragraphs to establish clear relationships between sentences and reinforce the overall structure of the essay. For example, you could use pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned ideas or employ transitional phrases to indicate logical connections between sentences.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary with attempts at using diverse terms and expressions. For instance, phrases like "mutual understanding," "traditional handicraft villages," and "sheer volume" illustrate an attempt to vary lexical choices.
- How to improve: To further enhance vocabulary range, consider incorporating more nuanced vocabulary that precisely conveys complex ideas. For example, instead of "reduction," use synonyms like "diminishment" or "erosion" where appropriate. Additionally, aim for more idiomatic expressions or domain-specific terminology to enrich the essay further.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances where vocabulary usage is precise, such as "traditional handicraft villages" and "global accessibility of machine-made Hanfu attire," which effectively convey specific meanings.
- How to improve: To maintain precision consistently, ensure that each word used aligns precisely with the intended meaning. Avoid vague terms like "things" or "stuff" by opting for specific nouns or technical terms where applicable. Proofreading for synonym accuracy can also aid in refining precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates generally correct spelling throughout, with minor errors like "handmade" instead of "hand-made" and "recapitulate" which is less commonly used but correct.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-check tools and reviewing each word carefully during the editing process. Focus on commonly misspelled words or those prone to typographical errors, ensuring consistency in spelling conventions.

In conclusion, while the essay exhibits a strong lexical resource with a wide vocabulary range and generally precise usage, continued efforts to refine precision and spelling accuracy will further elevate the coherence and clarity of ideas presented.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable attempt at utilizing a variety of sentence structures. It includes simple sentences ("Wherever people live, they can purchase whatever they want"), compound sentences ("Opportunities to buy the same products have enhanced the mutual understanding concerning traditional cultures"), and complex sentences ("Moreover, this trend can provoke the reduction in sales or even the closure of local businesses"). However, there is a tendency towards simpler structures, and the essay could benefit from the incorporation of more complex and nuanced sentence structures to elevate the overall quality and sophistication of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance the essay’s quality, strive for greater diversity in sentence structures. Introduce complex sentences with subordinate clauses to provide more depth and sophistication to the analysis. Additionally, consider varying the length of sentences for added rhythm and emphasis.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a satisfactory level of grammatical accuracy. However, there are instances where errors occur, such as in the phrase "by reason of the advent of international trade and globalization," where a more concise expression would be preferable (e.g., "due to the advent"). Additionally, there are occasional punctuation errors, such as missing commas before introductory phrases ("To illustrate,"). Despite these errors, the essay’s overall grammatical accuracy is sufficient for clear communication.
- How to improve: Focus on refining grammatical accuracy by paying close attention to sentence structure and punctuation usage. Review the rules for comma placement, especially concerning introductory phrases and clauses. Additionally, aim for clarity and conciseness in expression to avoid unnecessary wordiness and potential grammatical pitfalls.

Bài sửa mẫu

Wherever people reside, they can acquire whatever they desire due to the rise of international trade and globalization, which has led countries to become increasingly similar. While I acknowledge to some extent the positive aspects of this phenomenon, I mostly believe that this constitutes a detrimental development.

Access to identical products has fostered cross-cultural comprehension, including traditional attire and cuisine. For example, those interested in Chinese cuisine can find specialized restaurants offering it in every corner of the world.

However, this trend also contributes to the decline of local cultural identities. Access to identical products, which were once a source of local pride, especially in traditional handicraft villages, are now produced in large quantities with cutting-edge technology. This is illustrated by a compelling instance, Hanfu, the most famous traditional handmade costume in China. With the widespread availability of machine-made Hanfu attire, people can purchase the same items globally, posing a significant threat to the decline of the sales of traditional handmade garments and the unique art form in China.

Moreover, this trend can lead to a reduction in sales or even the closure of local businesses. People tend to buy products from large corporations worldwide, which means that smaller companies and individual business households cannot compete, thereby resulting in the loss of market share. Simultaneously, local skilled workers encounter a diminishing demand for employment to maintain their means of living. Consequently, local companies may go bankrupt.

In summary, the widespread availability of identical goods, while advantageous for fostering mutual understanding of cultural values across different countries, also negatively impacts the survival of local cultural identities and can lead to reduced sales or bankruptcy of local businesses.