In many countries, the number of animals and plant is declining why do you think this is happening? How can this issues be solved?
In many countries, the number of animals and plant is declining why do you think this is happening? How can this issues be solved?
The decline in the population of animals and plants is rife in many countries. This phenomenon is greatly associated with human activities and environmental degration. To discuss this issue, the following paragraphs will elucidate the reasons behind before reaching potential solutions.
The principal and most common cause of the decrease in the number of animals and plants is habitant destruction. As human populations expand, natural habitats are being destroyed to make way for agriculture, urban development and infrastructure projects through deforestation. Another key factor contributing to this decline is climate change. Rising temperatures, changing precipitation patterns and extreme weather events are altering ecosystems and putting immese pressure on vulnerable species.
There are many things that can be done about the problem, but the most important is imposing policies and regulations to reduce the number of illegal hunting, especially as it can act as a deterrent with poachers. In addition, government should establish protected areas and wildlife reserves where flora and fauna are safeguared from human interference to ensure the preservation of biodiversity.
Another approach to this issue is to promote sustainable practices such as responsible land use, organic farming or renewable energy adoption that help reduce habitat destruction and mitigate the impacts of climate change. For instance, implementing agroforestry techniques can not only enhance crop productivity but also provide environment for various species.
The dwindling numbers of animals and plants is indeed a problem that involves solutions that may not be easy to implement. However, we can take small steps forward by imposing policies and regulations, establishing proctected areas and promoting sustainable practices.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"rife" -> "widespread"
Explanation: "Rife" is typically used to describe something that is prevalent or widespread in a negative sense, often implying a high frequency or intensity. In this context, "widespread" is more neutral and appropriate for academic writing, focusing on the extent of the issue rather than its negative connotation. -
"environmental degration" -> "environmental degradation"
Explanation: "Degration" is a misspelling of "degradation," which is the correct term for the process of deterioration or impairment of the environment. -
"habitant destruction" -> "habitat destruction"
Explanation: "Habitant" is not the correct term here; "habitat" refers to the natural environment in which an organism lives, making it the appropriate choice for describing the destruction of natural environments. -
"immese" -> "immense"
Explanation: "Immese" is a typographical error and should be corrected to "immense," which means extremely large or great in size or degree. -
"imposing policies and regulations" -> "implementing policies and regulations"
Explanation: "Imposing" suggests forcing or imposing something on others, which is not the intended meaning here. "Implementing" correctly conveys the idea of putting policies and regulations into effect. -
"safeguared" -> "safeguarded"
Explanation: "Safeguared" is a misspelling of "safeguarded," which is the correct form of the verb "safeguard," meaning to protect or preserve something. -
"proctected" -> "protected"
Explanation: "Proctected" is a misspelling of "protected," which is the correct term for safeguarding or defending something. -
"environment for various species" -> "environment for various species"
Explanation: This is a redundant phrase as "environment" already implies a space for species. The phrase could be simplified to "environment" or "habitat" to avoid redundancy. -
"The dwindling numbers of animals and plants is indeed a problem" -> "The dwindling numbers of animals and plants indeed constitute a problem"
Explanation: The original sentence is grammatically incorrect. The addition of "constitute" corrects the grammatical structure and enhances the formal tone of the sentence. -
"imposing policies and regulations, establishing proctected areas and promoting sustainable practices" -> "imposing policies and regulations, establishing protected areas and promoting sustainable practices"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "protected" to "protected" and "proctected" to "protected" for consistency and accuracy.
These changes enhance the precision, clarity, and formality of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Task Response: 8
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies reasons for the decline in animal and plant populations, such as habitat destruction and climate change, and it proposes solutions, including imposing regulations and promoting sustainable practices. The introduction clearly sets the stage for discussing both aspects, and the body paragraphs provide relevant details and examples. However, while the reasons are well-explained, the solutions could benefit from more specific examples or elaboration to fully satisfy the prompt’s requirements.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer could include more specific examples of successful policies or practices from various countries that have effectively addressed these issues. Additionally, discussing the potential challenges in implementing these solutions would provide a more comprehensive view.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, emphasizing the importance of addressing the decline in biodiversity. The writer consistently supports the argument that human activities are the primary cause of this decline and that proactive measures are necessary. The concluding remarks reiterate the urgency of the issue and the need for solutions, reinforcing the overall stance.
- How to improve: To further strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could use transitional phrases to connect the ideas more seamlessly. For instance, explicitly linking the causes to the proposed solutions in a more structured manner could enhance the coherence of the argument.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several relevant ideas regarding the causes and solutions to the decline in biodiversity. Each point is introduced clearly, and there is a logical flow from one idea to the next. However, while the ideas are presented well, some points, particularly the solutions, could be more thoroughly developed. For example, the mention of agroforestry is a good start, but it lacks sufficient detail to illustrate its effectiveness.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to elaborate on each solution with specific examples or case studies that demonstrate their effectiveness. This could involve discussing particular countries or regions where such practices have been successfully implemented, thereby providing a stronger foundation for the proposed solutions.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, addressing the decline of animal and plant populations without straying into unrelated areas. Each paragraph contributes to the overall argument, and the writer does not introduce irrelevant information. The structure is clear, with a logical progression from causes to solutions.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, the writer should ensure that each point made directly supports the main argument. This can be achieved by revisiting the prompt’s specific wording to ensure that all aspects are addressed directly and succinctly, avoiding any potential ambiguity in the discussion.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates the key points. With some enhancements in the depth of examples and transitions, it could achieve an even higher band score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear and logical structure. The introduction effectively outlines the topic and sets the stage for the discussion. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the problem, with the first two paragraphs focusing on causes and the subsequent paragraphs on solutions. For example, the transition from discussing habitat destruction to climate change is smooth, indicating a well-thought-out progression of ideas. However, the conclusion could be more explicitly linked back to the introduction to reinforce the overall argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using more explicit signposting throughout the essay. Phrases such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "In conclusion" can help guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, reiterating the main points in the conclusion and linking them back to the introduction can provide a stronger closure.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in clarity. Each paragraph has a clear main idea, such as causes of decline in the first two paragraphs and solutions in the next two. However, the second paragraph could be split into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on habitat destruction and the other on climate change, allowing for a more in-depth discussion of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea that is developed fully. Consider starting a new paragraph when introducing a new cause or solution. This will not only enhance readability but also allow for more detailed exploration of each point.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "in addition," "however," and "for instance," which help to connect ideas and maintain the flow of information. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. However, there are instances where repetition of certain phrases, like "the most important is," could be varied to enhance the richness of the text.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly using "in addition," you could use alternatives like "furthermore," "moreover," or "besides." Additionally, varying sentence structures can also help maintain reader interest and improve cohesion.
Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, but with some adjustments in paragraph structure and the use of cohesive devices, it could achieve an even higher level of clarity and effectiveness.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "degradation," "habitat destruction," and "safeguarded." However, there is a tendency to rely on common phrases and expressions, which limits the lexical variety. For instance, the phrase "the decline in the population of animals and plants" is somewhat repetitive and could be expressed in different ways to enhance variety.
- How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "decline," alternatives like "decrease," "diminution," or "reduction" could be employed. Additionally, using more advanced vocabulary related to environmental issues, such as "biodiversity loss" or "ecosystem degradation," would enrich the essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally uses vocabulary correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage. For example, "immese" is a misspelling of "immense," which affects clarity. Additionally, the phrase "the most important is imposing policies and regulations to reduce the number of illegal hunting" could be more precisely stated as "to reduce illegal hunting activities."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should carefully choose words that accurately convey their intended meaning. Proofreading for spelling errors is crucial, as is ensuring that phrases are grammatically correct and convey the intended message clearly. Using tools like thesauruses or vocabulary lists specific to environmental topics can also help in selecting more precise terms.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "degration" (should be "degradation"), "habitant" (should be "habitat"), "immese" (should be "immense"), and "proctected" (should be "protected"). These errors detract from the overall professionalism and readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular spelling practice, utilize spell-check tools, and read their work aloud to catch errors. Additionally, creating flashcards for commonly misspelled words or using apps designed to improve spelling can be beneficial. Consistent proofreading before submission will also help in identifying and correcting these mistakes.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and employs a reasonable range of vocabulary, there are areas for improvement in lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and varied clause usage. For instance, the writer effectively uses subordinate clauses in sentences like "As human populations expand, natural habitats are being destroyed…" and "Rising temperatures, changing precipitation patterns and extreme weather events are altering ecosystems…". However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way ideas are introduced and developed, which can make the writing feel somewhat formulaic.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "Another key factor…" or "There are many things that can be done…", the writer could use phrases like "In addition to this," or "Moreover," to introduce new ideas. Additionally, experimenting with different sentence lengths and structures, such as using more rhetorical questions or conditional sentences, could further enrich the essay.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, "habitant destruction" should be "habitat destruction," and "immese" is a misspelling of "immense." Additionally, there are punctuation issues, such as the lack of a comma before "especially" in the sentence "to reduce the number of illegal hunting, especially as it can act as a deterrent with poachers." This could lead to confusion regarding the structure of the sentence.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading for common errors, particularly spelling and word choice. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers could help identify and correct these mistakes. Furthermore, paying attention to punctuation rules, especially regarding clauses and lists, will enhance clarity. For instance, ensuring that commas are correctly placed can help in breaking down complex sentences for better readability.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, there are areas for improvement that could elevate the writing to a higher band score. By diversifying sentence structures and focusing on grammatical precision, the writer can enhance the overall effectiveness of their arguments and clarity of expression.
Bài sửa mẫu
The decline in the population of animals and plants is widespread in many countries. This phenomenon is greatly associated with human activities and environmental degradation. To discuss this issue, the following paragraphs will elucidate the reasons behind it before reaching potential solutions.
The principal and most common cause of the decrease in the number of animals and plants is habitat destruction. As human populations expand, natural habitats are being destroyed to make way for agriculture, urban development, and infrastructure projects through deforestation. Another key factor contributing to this decline is climate change. Rising temperatures, changing precipitation patterns, and extreme weather events are altering ecosystems and putting immense pressure on vulnerable species.
There are many things that can be done about the problem, but the most important is implementing policies and regulations to reduce illegal hunting, especially as it can act as a deterrent to poachers. In addition, governments should establish protected areas and wildlife reserves where flora and fauna are safeguarded from human interference to ensure the preservation of biodiversity.
Another approach to this issue is to promote sustainable practices such as responsible land use, organic farming, or renewable energy adoption that help reduce habitat destruction and mitigate the impacts of climate change. For instance, implementing agroforestry techniques can not only enhance crop productivity but also provide an environment for various species.
The dwindling numbers of animals and plants indeed constitute a problem that involves solutions that may not be easy to implement. However, we can take small steps forward by imposing policies and regulations, establishing protected areas, and promoting sustainable practices.