In many countries, the quality of life in large cities in becoming worse. What do you think are the causes of this problems? What measures could be taken to solve it?

Big cities in various nations are suffering from a reduction in quality of life, and continue to decline. Several factors regarding the environment and society are attributed to this trend, and many solutions can be taken to address this issue.
The deterioration of life in cities stems from two main causes. Regarding the living environment, the huge influx of impoverished citizens to cities gives rise to slums. Not only that, cities are hot spots for all sorts of pollution, from air, water, to noise and light pollution. Ultimately, the hygienic qualities of cities are negatively reduced, giving rise to the spread of diseases and overall health decrease. Society factors also contribute to this trend, with the major cause being overpopulation. Residents from rural areas move to big towns to seek new and improved job opportunities, and increased competition has led many people, mostly those from the countryside jobless. The same could be applied to housing problems, and with limited land, it is inevitable that some will be homeless. The economic imbalance between city residents increases, making crimes higher than ever before. Bank robberies, murders, thefts or burglaries happen almost every day in cities, putting everyone at risk.
Numerous steps could be taken to resolve these issues. Reducing the influx to cities by making suburban areas more appealing, while also heightening the security of cities is one method that can be used by government officials. For the citizens themselves, activities fostering community bonds and fair career opportunities should be promoted, allowing for moving residents to survive in a new environment. Additionally, more eco-friendly infrastructures should be installed around city areas, while green habits, such as recycling or walking should be encouraged among citizens.
To conclude, the deterioration of city life can be attributed to the decline in the living environment and society standards. Everyone, from officials to grass-roots can join hands and employ measure that can ensure thư sustainability of city quality.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Big cities in various nations" -> "Major cities across various countries"
Explanation: "Major cities" is more precise and formal than "big cities," and "across various countries" is a more appropriate phraseology for academic writing than "in various nations."
"suffering from a reduction in quality of life" -> "experiencing a decline in the quality of life"
Explanation: "Experiencing a decline" is a more formal and precise way to describe the ongoing process of deterioration, aligning better with academic style.
"continue to decline" -> "continue to deteriorate"
Explanation: "Deteriorate" is a more specific term that accurately describes the ongoing worsening of conditions, enhancing the academic tone.
"Regarding the living environment" -> "Regarding environmental conditions"
Explanation: "Environmental conditions" is a more specific and formal term than "the living environment," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"the huge influx of impoverished citizens" -> "the significant influx of impoverished residents"
Explanation: "Residents" is more specific and formal than "citizens," and "significant" is less hyperbolic than "huge," which is typically considered too informal for academic writing.
"Not only that, cities are hot spots for all sorts of pollution" -> "Furthermore, cities are hubs for various types of pollution"
Explanation: "Furthermore" is a more formal transitional phrase than "Not only that," and "hubs for various types of pollution" is more precise and formal than "hot spots for all sorts of pollution."
"the hygienic qualities of cities are negatively reduced" -> "the hygienic standards of cities are compromised"
Explanation: "Compromised" is a more precise and formal term than "negatively reduced," which is awkward and unclear in this context.
"giving rise to the spread of diseases and overall health decrease" -> "leading to the spread of diseases and a decline in overall health"
Explanation: "Leading to" is a more direct and formal way to express causality, and "a decline in overall health" is a clearer and more formal phrase than "overall health decrease."
"overpopulation" -> "overcrowding"
Explanation: "Overcrowding" is a more specific term that better describes the issue of too many people in a given area, which is more precise in this context.
"jobless" -> "unemployed"
Explanation: "Unemployed" is a more formal and precise term than "jobless," which is somewhat colloquial.
"making crimes higher than ever before" -> "resulting in a significant increase in crime"
Explanation: "Resulting in a significant increase in crime" is more formal and avoids the hyperbole of "higher than ever before," which is not suitable for academic writing.
"Bank robberies, murders, thefts or burglaries happen almost every day" -> "incidents such as bank robberies, murders, thefts, and burglaries occur frequently"
Explanation: "Incidents such as" is a more formal way to introduce a list of examples, and "occur frequently" is more precise than "happen almost every day," which is overly casual.
"putting everyone at risk" -> "posing a risk to all"
Explanation: "Posing a risk to all" is a more formal and succinct way to express the potential danger to everyone.
"everyone, from officials to grass-roots" -> "everyone, from officials to grassroots"
Explanation: "Grassroots" is the correct spelling, and the phrase is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"employ measure that can ensure thư sustainability of city quality" -> "implement measures that ensure the sustainability of city quality"
Explanation: "Implement measures" is more precise and formal than "employ measure," and "ensure the sustainability" is grammatically correct and clearer than "ensure thư sustainability."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt by identifying causes of declining quality of life in cities and proposing solutions. The causes discussed include environmental factors such as pollution and societal issues like overpopulation and crime. The solutions suggested, such as enhancing suburban appeal and promoting community bonds, are relevant and practical. However, while the essay identifies multiple causes and solutions, it could benefit from a more structured approach to clearly delineate between the two sections.
- How to improve: To enhance the clarity of the response, consider using separate paragraphs for causes and solutions. This would help the reader easily navigate through the essay and understand the distinct points being made. Additionally, explicitly linking each cause to its corresponding solution could strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the quality of life in cities is declining due to specific causes and that there are actionable solutions. The stance is consistent throughout, as the author does not waver from this perspective. However, the conclusion could be more assertive in reinforcing the author’s viewpoint.
- How to improve: To improve the clarity of the position, the conclusion should summarize the main points more emphatically and restate the significance of addressing these issues. Phrases that reinforce the urgency or importance of the solutions could also enhance the overall impact.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a variety of ideas related to the causes and solutions of declining urban quality of life. Each cause and solution is introduced, but some points lack depth in explanation. For instance, the mention of "eco-friendly infrastructures" is vague and could benefit from examples or elaboration on how these infrastructures would specifically improve quality of life.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, provide specific examples or statistics that illustrate the impact of pollution or overpopulation. Additionally, elaborating on how proposed solutions could be implemented or their potential effectiveness would enhance the argument’s persuasiveness.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains largely focused on the topic, discussing relevant issues related to urban living conditions. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly aligned with the prompt. For instance, the mention of crime could be more directly linked to the causes of declining quality of life rather than presented as a standalone issue.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that every point made directly relates back to the prompt. When discussing crime, for example, explicitly connect it to the causes of overpopulation and economic imbalance. This will help reinforce the relevance of each point and keep the essay tightly aligned with the task requirements.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and effectively communicates ideas, but with a few adjustments in structure and depth, it could achieve an even higher level of clarity and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a conclusion. The causes are logically grouped into environmental and societal factors, which helps the reader understand the complexity of the issue. For instance, the transition from discussing pollution to overpopulation is smooth, indicating a coherent flow of ideas. However, the connection between the causes and their implications could be more explicitly stated to enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve logical organization, consider using more explicit linking phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, after discussing pollution, a phrase like "This environmental degradation is further exacerbated by…" could help clarify the relationship between the points. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines its main idea would strengthen the overall structure.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with distinct sections for causes and solutions. Each paragraph contains relevant information, but some paragraphs could benefit from clearer internal organization. For example, the paragraph discussing societal factors could be broken down further to separate the discussion of overpopulation from the economic imbalance, allowing for a more focused exploration of each issue.
- How to improve: To enhance paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Consider using sub-points within paragraphs to elaborate on complex ideas. For instance, in the societal factors paragraph, you could first discuss overpopulation and then transition to the economic implications in a new paragraph. This would create a clearer distinction between the two related but separate issues.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "not only… but also," "additionally," and "to conclude," which contribute to the overall coherence. However, some transitions could be more varied to avoid repetition and enhance fluidity. For example, the repeated use of "additionally" could be replaced with alternatives like "furthermore" or "in addition" to create a more dynamic reading experience.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, practice using a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of consistently using "additionally," consider using "moreover" or "besides" to introduce new points. Additionally, using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned ideas can help maintain cohesion without redundancy. For example, instead of repeating "cities," you could use "these urban areas" in subsequent mentions.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can enhance its coherence and cohesion, potentially leading to a higher band score in future assessments.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "deterioration," "impoverished," "hygienic qualities," and "eco-friendly infrastructures." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly in the discussion of causes and solutions. For example, the phrase "quality of life" is used multiple times without variation, which can detract from the overall richness of the language.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related phrases. Instead of repeating "quality of life," alternatives like "living standards" or "urban well-being" could be used. Additionally, exploring more specific terms related to pollution (e.g., "contaminants," "toxic emissions") could add depth to the discussion.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay includes some precise vocabulary, such as "overpopulation" and "economic imbalance." However, there are instances of imprecise usage, such as "giving rise to slums," which could be more clearly articulated. The phrase "major cause being overpopulation" could be misleading, as it implies that overpopulation is the sole cause rather than one of several contributing factors.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should ensure that vocabulary accurately reflects the intended meaning. For example, instead of saying "giving rise to slums," a more precise expression could be "leading to the development of informal settlements." Additionally, clarifying the relationship between overpopulation and other factors would strengthen the argument.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "thư" instead of "the" in the conclusion and "hot spots" which should be hyphenated as "hotspots." These errors can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify errors. Additionally, practicing commonly misspelled words and maintaining a list of frequently used vocabulary can aid in improving spelling skills.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant ideas, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling would enhance the overall quality of the writing and potentially raise the band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "The deterioration of life in cities stems from two main causes" effectively introduces the topic with a clear, straightforward structure. Additionally, the use of phrases like "Not only that" and "the same could be applied to" showcases an ability to connect ideas smoothly. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the phrase "Numerous steps could be taken to resolve these issues" could be expanded with more complex clauses to enhance depth.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "The economic imbalance between city residents increases," you could elaborate with "As the economic imbalance between city residents increases, the likelihood of crime also escalates." This not only adds complexity but also strengthens the logical flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are some noticeable errors. For example, the phrase "the hygienic qualities of cities are negatively reduced" could be more effectively expressed as "the hygienic qualities of cities are deteriorating." Additionally, the sentence "the same could be applied to housing problems" is somewhat awkward and could be clearer. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could improve clarity, such as before "and with limited land" in the sentence discussing housing problems.
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. For example, the phrase "the major cause being overpopulation" could be revised to "the major cause is overpopulation" for clarity. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, would be beneficial. A thorough proofreading process can help catch these errors before submission.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a commendable range of grammatical structures and maintains a generally high level of accuracy, there is room for improvement in both the variety of sentence constructions and the precision of grammar and punctuation. By focusing on these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in the Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria.

Bài sửa mẫu

Big cities in various nations are suffering from a reduction in quality of life and continue to deteriorate. Several factors regarding the environment and society are attributed to this trend, and many solutions can be taken to address this issue.

The deterioration of life in cities stems from two main causes. Regarding the living environment, the significant influx of impoverished residents to cities gives rise to slums. Not only that, cities are hot spots for all sorts of pollution, from air and water to noise and light pollution. Ultimately, the hygienic standards of cities are compromised, leading to the spread of diseases and a decline in overall health. Societal factors also contribute to this trend, with the major cause being overpopulation. Residents from rural areas move to big towns to seek new and improved job opportunities, and increased competition has left many people, mostly those from the countryside, unemployed. The same could be applied to housing problems, and with limited land, it is inevitable that some will be homeless. The economic imbalance between city residents increases, resulting in a significant increase in crime. Incidents such as bank robberies, murders, thefts, and burglaries occur frequently in cities, posing a risk to all.

Numerous steps could be taken to resolve these issues. Reducing the influx to cities by making suburban areas more appealing, while also heightening the security of cities, is one method that can be used by government officials. For the citizens themselves, activities fostering community bonds and fair career opportunities should be promoted, allowing residents to thrive in a new environment. Additionally, more eco-friendly infrastructures should be installed around city areas, while green habits, such as recycling or walking, should be encouraged among citizens.

To conclude, the deterioration of city life can be attributed to the decline in the living environment and societal standards. Everyone, from officials to grassroots, can join hands and implement measures that ensure the sustainability of city quality.