fbpx

In recent years, there has been a significant advancement in AI and automation technologies. Some argue that these technologies will lead to widespread job displacement. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

In recent years, there has been a significant advancement in AI and automation technologies. Some argue that these technologies will lead to widespread job displacement. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Technological advancements in Artificial Intelligence and automation have sparked debates regarding potential widespread job displacement. While some argue that certain jobs are irreplaceable due to their inherent nature, I believe that continuous technological progress could indeed result in substantial unemployment.

Certainly, professions like educators, human resource personnel, and high-level managers cannot be easily substituted by machinery or AI. This is primarily because these roles demand significant interpersonal or cognitive skills, qualities not possessed by robots or machines. Moreover, despite the purported ability of AI and automation to enhance efficiency and productivity, they are still in their early stages, prone to errors during production. This underscores the need for human oversight to ensure machines operate effectively.

Nevertheless, it is evident that a considerable number of jobs are at risk due to the emergence of automation and AI. Physically demanding roles, such as factory workers, machine operators, or maintenance assistants, can now be undertaken by various technological devices. Additionally, recent advancements have enabled robots to execute complex tasks of accountants or auditors, traditionally requiring high-level cognitive abilities. This trend is observable in various companies globally, particularly in technology firms like Amazon, where robots and machinery replace numerous ordinary and entry-level workers, rendering them jobless.

In summary, while certain jobs will continue to necessitate human involvement, I firmly believe that a significant portion of the workforce might be substituted by AI and robots in the foreseeable future. It’s imperative for local authorities and governments to implement diverse solutions, including vocational training, to assist workers in adapting to these changing circumstances.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. “jobs are irreplaceable” -> “occupations are indispensable”
    Explanation: Replacing “jobs are irreplaceable” with “occupations are indispensable” adds a more formal and precise term, aligning with academic style.
  2. “substantial unemployment” -> “significant joblessness”
    Explanation: “Substantial unemployment” is slightly informal; “significant joblessness” maintains formality while expressing the same idea.
  3. “professions like educators” -> “occupations such as educators”
    Explanation: “Professions like educators” is a bit informal; “occupations such as educators” is a more formal and precise phrase suitable for academic writing.
  4. “cannot be easily substituted” -> “are not readily replaceable”
    Explanation: “Cannot be easily substituted” is a bit casual; “are not readily replaceable” maintains formality and adds precision.
  5. “machinery or AI” -> “machinery or artificial intelligence”
    Explanation: “AI” is an informal abbreviation; replacing it with “artificial intelligence” adheres to a more formal style.
  6. “This is primarily because” -> “This is chiefly because”
    Explanation: Replacing “primarily” with “chiefly” adds a touch of formality to the sentence.
  7. “qualities not possessed by robots or machines” -> “attributes not inherent in robots or machines”
    Explanation: “Qualities not possessed” is a bit informal; “attributes not inherent in” is more formal and academically suitable.
  8. “purported ability” -> “alleged capability”
    Explanation: “Purported ability” is slightly informal; “alleged capability” maintains formality and precision.
  9. “early stages, prone to errors during production” -> “nascent stages, susceptible to errors in production”
    Explanation: “Early stages” is a bit informal; “nascent stages” is a more formal alternative, and “susceptible to errors in production” adds precision.
  10. “it is evident that” -> “it is apparent that”
    Explanation: “It is evident that” is a common phrase; “it is apparent that” is a more formal synonym.
  11. “Physically demanding roles” -> “Physically challenging roles”
    Explanation: “Physically demanding roles” is slightly informal; “physically challenging roles” maintains formality and precision.
  12. “can now be undertaken” -> “can now be performed”
    Explanation: “Can now be undertaken” is a bit informal; “can now be performed” is a more formal and precise choice.
  13. “robots to execute complex tasks of accountants or auditors” -> “robots to perform complex tasks handled by accountants or auditors”
    Explanation: “Execute” is slightly informal; “perform” is a more formal alternative, and specifying “handled by accountants or auditors” adds precision.
  14. “ordinary and entry-level workers” -> “ordinary and entry-level employees”
    Explanation: “Workers” is a common term; replacing it with “employees” maintains formality.
  15. “rendering them jobless” -> “leaving them unemployed”
    Explanation: “Rendering them jobless” is a bit informal; “leaving them unemployed” is a more formal expression.

 

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: “Certainly, professions like educators, human resource personnel, and high-level managers cannot be easily substituted by machinery or AI. This is primarily because these roles demand significant interpersonal or cognitive skills, qualities not possessed by robots or machines.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your introduction is clear and effectively presents your position. However, the support for your argument lacks depth. To strengthen this point, provide specific examples or scenarios that illustrate the importance of interpersonal or cognitive skills in these professions. For instance, you could elaborate on how a teacher’s ability to empathize and adapt to individual student needs cannot be replicated by AI, ensuring a more personalized learning experience.
    • Improved example: “Certainly, professions like educators, human resource personnel, and high-level managers cannot be easily substituted by machinery or AI. Take, for example, the role of educators. A teacher’s capacity to understand and respond to the unique needs of each student, providing tailored guidance and emotional support, is a complex skill that goes beyond the capabilities of artificial intelligence.”
  2. Quoted text: “Moreover, despite the purported ability of AI and automation to enhance efficiency and productivity, they are still in their early stages, prone to errors during production. This underscores the need for human oversight to ensure machines operate effectively.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your point regarding the early stages and potential errors in AI is valid, but it lacks specific details. Provide concrete examples or evidence to support this claim. For instance, you could refer to well-known cases where AI systems have made significant errors, emphasizing the importance of human oversight. This would add credibility to your argument.
    • Improved example: “Moreover, despite the purported ability of AI and automation to enhance efficiency and productivity, they are still in their early stages, prone to errors during production. Instances like the misidentification of objects by image recognition software or the miscalculations made by automated financial systems highlight the current limitations of AI. This underscores the need for human oversight to ensure machines operate effectively.”
  3. Quoted text: “In summary, while certain jobs will continue to necessitate human involvement, I firmly believe that a significant portion of the workforce might be substituted by AI and robots in the foreseeable future. It’s imperative for local authorities and governments to implement diverse solutions, including vocational training, to assist workers in adapting to these changing circumstances.”
    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your conclusion is clear, but it could benefit from more specificity. Instead of stating a “significant portion of the workforce,” provide a more concrete estimate or range. Additionally, when suggesting solutions like vocational training, provide a brief explanation of how such measures would help workers adapt. This would enhance the persuasiveness of your conclusion.
    • Improved example: “In summary, while certain jobs will continue to necessitate human involvement, I firmly believe that up to 30% of the workforce might be substituted by AI and robots in the foreseeable future. It’s imperative for local authorities and governments to implement diverse solutions, such as targeted vocational training programs, to equip workers with the skills needed to thrive in this evolving job market.”

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay logically organizes information and ideas with a clear progression throughout. The introduction sets the stage by introducing the debate on job displacement due to AI and automation. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, presenting examples and reasoning to support the author’s stance. The cohesive devices used, such as “while,” “moreover,” and “nevertheless,” contribute to the overall coherence. The essay also maintains a clear central topic within each paragraph.

However, there are instances of slightly under-using cohesive devices, and in some cases, the connection between ideas could be strengthened for smoother transitions. The use of referencing is generally clear, but improvements could be made for more seamless integration of ideas.

How to improve:

  1. Ensure a more consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay to enhance the overall flow and connection between ideas.
  2. Work on strengthening the transitions between paragraphs for a smoother progression of ideas.
  3. Pay close attention to referencing to avoid any ambiguity and ensure a seamless integration of supporting details.

Note: While the essay demonstrates effective organization and coherence, there is room for refinement to achieve a higher band score.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. There is a variety of words used throughout the essay, and the writer effectively conveys ideas using a mix of common and less common lexical items. The use of phrases like “irreplaceable due to their inherent nature,” “purported ability,” and “rendering them jobless” adds depth to the expression. There is awareness of style and collocation, as seen in the phrases “demand significant interpersonal or cognitive skills” and “execute complex tasks of accountants or auditors.” However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as in the phrase “continuous technological progress could indeed result,” where “indeed” may be more smoothly replaced with “potentially.”

How to improve:
To enhance lexical resource, consider refining word choice for smoother collocation. While the essay effectively uses a range of vocabulary, paying attention to subtle nuances in word selection could further elevate the precision of expression. Additionally, maintaining consistency in the level of formality throughout the essay would contribute to an even more polished lexical presentation.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay showcases a variety of sentence structures and demonstrates an understanding of complex sentence forms. The use of transitional phrases aids coherence, contributing to the essay’s overall structure. There is a frequent display of error-free sentences throughout, maintaining good control of grammar and punctuation. However, some minor errors are present; these do not significantly impede communication but are noticeable upon closer inspection. The essay generally maintains a strong level of grammatical accuracy, enhancing readability.

How to improve:
To move towards a higher band score, focus on refining sentence structures further and ensuring consistent accuracy throughout the essay. Pay particular attention to minor errors to achieve a more polished, error-free composition. Continued practice in utilizing a broader range of complex structures with precision will enhance the overall quality of the essay in terms of grammatical range and accuracy.

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

119K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

149K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

299K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

159K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

199K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

399K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

VIP

499K/th

  • Everthing in Premium

  • Hand Writing Image Recognition

  • Better Accuracy with GPT-4

  • Early Access to New features

    - Speaking Feedback

  • Customization

    We help with minor customizations to get it working just right.

  • Support Development of New Features

    • Speaking Practice
    • Classroom Management (e.g., Google Class Room)
    • Reading Practice
    • Listening Practice