In recent years, tourists have paid attention to preserving both the culture and environment of the places they visit. However, some people think that it is impossible to be a responsible tourist. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent times, there has been an increase in visitors becoming more conscious of the cultural and environmental preservation of a destination. Nevertheless, many argue that instilling a sense of responsibility in all tourists is an unattainable goal. From my perspective, although a certain number of tourists exhibit irresponsible behavior, I oppose the notion that fostering environmental and cultural awareness among most tourists is impossible.
It is undeniable that there is a group of people who seem oblivious to the need for responsible actions. These people may contend that the money paid for their tour can make up for their detrimental actions. A prime example of this point is that in spite of signs prohibiting littering in most tourist attractions, some still dispose of rubbish indiscriminately, thinking cleaning must be done by staff there. Moreover, cultural sensitivities are ignored since they contend that local practices are exclusive to residents there.
Nonetheless, I am of the opinion that instilling responsibility in the majority of tourists is feasible for several reasons. One significant factor is that many governments have implemented regulations aimed at preserving tourist destinations in their countries. These regulations mean behavior taking a heavy toll on the environment has been outlawed with certain penalties, such as fines or even incarceration. A notable example of this can be seen in Singapore, where even minor violations, such as haphazardly throwing chewing gum, are fined, serving as a deterrent for would-be irresponsible visitors. Another justification worth mentioning is the omnipresence of information about a place of interest, including detailed cultural practices there. With such a grasp, visitors tend to be recognizant of appropriate behavior, for instance, they can opt for more suitable attire and language when visiting sacred places in order not to be disrespectful.
In conclusion, notwithstanding that some tourists may show no sense of conserving a place’s culture and environment, it is my conviction that the majority can develop a heightened sense of responsibility due to the enforcement of stringent policies and dissemination of local cultural information.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"in recent times" -> "recently"
Explanation: "In recent times" is slightly informal; "recently" maintains the same meaning in a more concise and formal manner, fitting for academic writing.
"increased in visitors becoming" -> "rise in visitors becoming"
Explanation: Replacing "increased in" with "rise in" provides a more formal phrasing while retaining the idea of an increase.
"Nevertheless" -> "However"
Explanation: "Nevertheless" is slightly more informal compared to "however," which is a common transition word in formal writing.
"instilling a sense of responsibility" -> "cultivating a sense of responsibility"
Explanation: "Instilling" could be replaced with "cultivating," which adds a touch of formality without changing the meaning.
"unattainable goal" -> "unachievable objective"
Explanation: "Unattainable goal" can be substituted with "unachievable objective" to elevate the language and maintain formality.
"From my perspective" -> Omit
Explanation: In academic writing, personal perspectives are often omitted to maintain objectivity and formality.
"although a certain number of tourists" -> "while some tourists"
Explanation: The suggested change provides a more concise and formal alternative.
"exhibit irresponsible behavior" -> "display irresponsible behavior"
Explanation: "Exhibit" is slightly less formal than "display" in this context, which fits better in an academic tone.
"deny the need for" -> "disregard the need for"
Explanation: "Deny" can be replaced with "disregard" to add formality without altering the meaning significantly.
"money paid for their tour can make up for" -> "tour expenses can compensate for"
Explanation: The suggested phrase offers a more formal way to convey the idea without compromising clarity.
"prime example of this point" -> "prime illustration of this"
Explanation: "Point" can be substituted with "illustration" for a more formal expression.
"dispose of rubbish indiscriminately" -> "haphazardly discard waste"
Explanation: The suggested phrase is more formal and maintains the context.
"cleaning must be done by staff there" -> "staff are responsible for cleaning"
Explanation: The replacement offers a more formal way to express the idea.
"Moreover" -> "Furthermore"
Explanation: "Furthermore" is slightly more formal compared to "Moreover" and is often used in academic writing.
"I am of the opinion that" -> "I believe that"
Explanation: "I am of the opinion that" can be replaced with "I believe that" for a more straightforward and formal expression.
"feasible for several reasons" -> "possible for various reasons"
Explanation: "Feasible" is replaced with "possible" to align with a more formal vocabulary choice.
"significant factor is that" -> "key factor is that"
Explanation: "Significant" can be substituted with "key" for a more precise and formal description.
"many governments have implemented regulations" -> "numerous governments have enforced regulations"
Explanation: "Implemented" can be replaced with "enforced" for a more formal tone.
"certain penalties, such as fines or even incarceration" -> "specific penalties, including fines or imprisonment"
Explanation: "Certain" can be replaced with "specific," and "incarceration" with "imprisonment" for a more formal phrasing.
"A notable example of this can be seen in" -> "This is evident in a notable example from"
Explanation: The revised phrase offers a more formal and structured way to present the example.
"omnipresence of information" -> "ubiquity of information"
Explanation: "Omnipresence" can be replaced with "ubiquity" for a more formal and precise term.
"recognizant of appropriate behavior" -> "aware of appropriate behavior"
Explanation: "Recognizant" can be replaced with "aware" for a simpler and more formal expression.
"notwithstanding that" -> "despite the fact that"
Explanation: "Notwithstanding" is a bit formal; "despite the fact that" retains the meaning while slightly enhancing formality.
"conviction" -> "belief"
Explanation: "Conviction" is slightly informal compared to "belief," which maintains formality in academic writing.
"due to the enforcement of stringent policies" -> "owing to the implementation of strict policies"
Explanation: "Due to" can be replaced with "owing to" for a more formal expression, and "enforcement" with "implementation" for precision.
"dissemination of local cultural information" -> "distribution of indigenous cultural information"
Explanation: "Dissemination" can be replaced with "distribution," and "local" with "indigenous" for a more formal and precise phrasing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It recognizes the increasing awareness among tourists regarding cultural and environmental preservation. It acknowledges the opposing view that being a responsible tourist is considered unattainable. The position that the majority of tourists can develop a heightened sense of responsibility is clearly stated.
- How to improve: To enhance completeness, consider providing a brief acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint within the introduction itself, demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance throughout. The author expresses disagreement with the idea that fostering responsibility among tourists is impossible. This position is evident in the introduction, body paragraphs, and the conclusion.
- How to improve: No specific improvements are needed in this aspect.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents ideas and supports them with relevant examples. It discusses the irresponsible behavior of some tourists, providing specific instances of littering and disregard for cultural sensitivities. It also supports the opposing view by citing examples of government regulations in Singapore and the availability of information about cultural practices.
- How to improve: Consider adding more depth to the analysis of examples, elaborating on the impact of government regulations and how the dissemination of cultural information contributes to responsible tourism.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, addressing the main issues of cultural and environmental preservation and responsibility among tourists. However, there is a slight deviation when discussing the irresponsible behavior of tourists. While relevant, the essay should ensure that examples directly tie back to the central theme.
- How to improve: Be cautious not to delve too deeply into specific examples of irresponsible behavior. Connect each example more explicitly to the overarching theme of responsibility and preservation.

In conclusion, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively conveys a position on responsible tourism. To improve, the author can focus on providing a balanced acknowledgment of the opposing view in the introduction, adding depth to the analysis of examples, and ensuring that examples directly align with the central theme.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally organizes information logically. It begins with an introduction that sets up the discussion, followed by clear body paragraphs presenting arguments and examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. However, there are instances where the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. The shift from discussing irresponsible tourists to the feasibility of instilling responsibility is somewhat abrupt.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the essay’s progression. Explicitly connect ideas between paragraphs, ensuring a seamless transition from one point to the next. In this essay, a clearer link between the irresponsibility of some tourists and the potential for improvement among the majority would improve coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs adequately, each addressing a specific aspect of the prompt or argument. However, there’s room for improvement in paragraph structure. The second paragraph, in particular, could be more focused on illustrating the irresponsible behavior of some tourists, providing specific examples.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea. In the second paragraph, emphasize irresponsible tourist behavior by offering concrete examples, making the discussion more impactful. Additionally, consider breaking down complex ideas into smaller paragraphs for better readability and understanding.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs a range of cohesive devices, such as transition words (e.g., "nevertheless," "nonetheless") and pronouns ("these," "this"). These devices contribute to coherence, aiding the reader in following the essay’s flow. However, there’s an opportunity to diversify the use of cohesive devices further for added clarity.
- How to improve: Introduce a variety of cohesive devices to enhance the essay’s cohesion. For instance, consider incorporating parallel structures, conjunctions, and synonyms. This can create a more sophisticated and nuanced connection between ideas. Additionally, ensure the consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay for a more polished and cohesive piece.

By addressing these specific points, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion, contributing to an overall improvement in the band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with a mix of common and somewhat more advanced words. For instance, words such as "preservation," "instilling," "detrimental," and "recognizant" contribute to a varied vocabulary. However, there is room for improvement in the use of more nuanced and sophisticated vocabulary. For instance, synonyms or alternative expressions for frequently used words like "responsibility" or "tourist" could be incorporated to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To elevate the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating synonyms, especially for key terms that are repeated throughout the essay. Utilize a thesaurus to identify alternative words that convey similar meanings. Additionally, strive to include more specialized or domain-specific vocabulary related to the topics of cultural preservation and responsible tourism.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision. For example, the terms "responsibility," "preserving," and "awareness" are used accurately in the context of the essay’s theme. However, there are instances where more precise and specific language could be employed. The term "responsibility" is quite broad, and providing more specific details on the types of responsible actions or behaviors would enhance precision.
- How to improve: Focus on specifying the exact nature of responsible actions, such as adhering to local customs, respecting cultural practices, or adopting eco-friendly behaviors. This precision will add depth to your arguments and provide a clearer understanding of the responsible behaviors you are advocating.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a high level of spelling accuracy. There are minimal instances of misspelled words or typographical errors. For instance, "recognizant" could be corrected to "recognizant," and "instilling" should be "installing" to convey the intended meaning.
- How to improve: While the spelling is generally accurate, it’s crucial to review the essay carefully to catch any minor spelling errors or typos. Consider using spelling and grammar check tools, but also engage in a manual review to ensure correctness. Proofreading before submission is essential to catch and rectify any remaining spelling inaccuracies.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a reasonably diverse range of sentence structures. There is a mix of simple and complex sentences, contributing to overall coherence. For instance, the writer effectively employs complex sentences when presenting arguments and uses simpler constructions for clarity.
- How to improve: To further enhance variety, consider incorporating compound-complex sentences and varying sentence lengths. Experiment with introductory clauses to add sophistication to your writing. This will contribute to a more engaging and nuanced expression of ideas.
Use Grammar Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The majority of the essay is grammatically sound. However, there are instances where subject-verb agreement is not strictly adhered to, such as "These people may contend that the money paid for their tour can make up for their detrimental actions." Here, ‘money’ is singular, but ‘can make’ is plural. Additionally, the use of "instilling responsibility" might be considered less common and could be rephrased for clarity.
- How to improve: Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, especially in complex sentences. Revise sentences for clarity, ensuring that the intended meaning is conveyed unambiguously. Consider alternative phrasing for less common expressions to enhance clarity without sacrificing sophistication.
Use Correct Punctuation:
- Detailed explanation: Punctuation is generally correct throughout the essay. However, there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as "Nonetheless, I am of the opinion that instilling responsibility in the majority of tourists is feasible for several reasons." Consider adding a comma after ‘Nonetheless’ to provide a brief pause and improve flow.
- How to improve: Focus on the use of commas for improved readability. Review punctuation rules, particularly regarding introductory phrases and clauses, to ensure consistent and effective application. Commas can be powerful tools for guiding the reader through complex sentences.

Overall, this essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures and accuracy. Attention to detail in subject-verb agreement and punctuation will further refine the essay’s clarity and sophistication, potentially elevating it to an even higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent times, there has been a rise in visitors paying attention to the cultural and environmental preservation of the places they visit. However, some argue that cultivating a sense of responsibility in all tourists is an unachievable objective. From my perspective, while some tourists display irresponsible behavior, I disagree with the notion that fostering environmental and cultural awareness among most tourists is impossible.

It is undeniable that there is a group of people who seem oblivious to the need for responsible actions. These individuals may believe that tour expenses can compensate for their detrimental actions. A prime illustration of this is the haphazard disposal of waste despite signs prohibiting littering in most tourist attractions. Some tourists think that the staff are responsible for cleaning up, disregarding the need for individual responsibility. Furthermore, cultural sensitivities are ignored when they contend that local practices are exclusive to residents.

However, I believe that instilling responsibility in the majority of tourists is possible for various reasons. One key factor is that numerous governments have enforced regulations aimed at preserving tourist destinations in their countries. These regulations outlaw behaviors that take a heavy toll on the environment and come with specific penalties, including fines or imprisonment. This is evident in a notable example from Singapore, where even minor violations, such as haphazardly throwing chewing gum, are fined, serving as a deterrent for would-be irresponsible visitors.

Furthermore, the ubiquity of information about a place of interest, including detailed cultural practices, plays a crucial role. Visitors are now aware of appropriate behavior, for instance, choosing more suitable attire and language when visiting sacred places in order not to be disrespectful. Despite the fact that some tourists may still display irresponsible behavior, the belief is that owing to the implementation of strict policies and the distribution of indigenous cultural information, the majority can develop a heightened sense of responsibility.