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In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

In some cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem.
What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

In the contemporary era, the traffic jams are one of the major issues that affect the standard of living in urban areas. This issue is attributed to various factors, including high population and low quality of infrastructure. To address it, effective solutions are necessary. This essay will delve into the reasons behind the high volume of traffic and propose strategies such as encouraging people to resettle in rural areas and the use of public transport.

Traffic jams can be caused by large volumes of vehicles as the population is generally very dense in metropolitan areas, which means the number of traffic participants is also very high, leading to traffic congestion, especially during rush hours. This is especially true in developing countries where the public transport system is undeveloped and the majority of inhabitants use private vehicles such as cars, motorbikes, … Secondly, in some countries, roads are degraded with many potholes due to the lack of maintenance. This, combined with the lack of traffic facilities such as traffic signals, road markings, warning signs, … will result in traffic accidents and consequently traffic jams.

To solve this issue, the government can implement a number of policies to reduce the volume of vehicles and improve the quality of infrastructure. Counter-urbanization policies encourage people to resettle in rural areas which help reduce the number of vehicles, resulting in the decrease of traffic jams. Furthermore, the government should encourage the use of public transport such as metro, bus, tram. This could be achieved by introducing concession fares for public transport and car tax. Conducting regular maintenance and building modern facilities such as highways, overpasses,… should be continuously improved in order to ease the pressure on the roads.

In conclusion, traffic congestion is an urban issue due to factors such as the high volume of transport participants on the road and the low quality of infrastructure. To address this issue, the government should implement solutions like encouraging individuals to return to the countryside, introducing concession fares for public transports and conducting regular maintenance. These measures can effectively reduce the traffic jams.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "the traffic jams are one of the major issues" -> "traffic congestion is a significant issue"
    Explanation: Using "traffic congestion" instead of "the traffic jams" provides a more precise term that is commonly used in academic and formal contexts. Additionally, "a significant issue" is more formal than "one of the major issues," which sounds slightly informal and vague.

  2. "high population and low quality of infrastructure" -> "high population density and inadequate infrastructure"
    Explanation: "High population density" is a more precise term than "high population," and "inadequate infrastructure" is more specific than "low quality of infrastructure," which is somewhat vague and informal.

  3. "effective solutions are necessary" -> "effective solutions are imperative"
    Explanation: "Imperative" conveys a stronger sense of urgency and necessity, which is more suitable for academic writing than "necessary," which is somewhat less emphatic.

  4. "encouraging people to resettle in rural areas" -> "promoting rural relocation"
    Explanation: "Promoting rural relocation" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea of encouraging people to move to rural areas, avoiding the colloquial tone of "encouraging people to resettle."

  5. "the use of public transport" -> "the adoption of public transportation"
    Explanation: "The adoption of public transportation" is a more formal and precise term than "the use of public transport," which is somewhat informal and less specific.

  6. "large volumes of vehicles" -> "high volumes of vehicles"
    Explanation: "High volumes" is a more common and precise term in formal writing than "large volumes," which can be seen as slightly informal and vague.

  7. "the number of traffic participants" -> "the number of vehicles on the road"
    Explanation: "The number of vehicles on the road" is a clearer and more direct way to describe the traffic volume, avoiding the awkward and less common phrase "traffic participants."

  8. "roads are degraded with many potholes" -> "roads are deteriorated with numerous potholes"
    Explanation: "Deteriorated" is a more precise term than "degraded" in this context, and "numerous" is more formal than "many," which is somewhat informal for academic writing.

  9. "traffic facilities such as traffic signals, road markings, warning signs, …" -> "traffic infrastructure such as traffic signals, road markings, and warning signs"
    Explanation: Using "infrastructure" instead of "facilities" is more specific and appropriate for describing the physical components of a transportation system. Also, using "and" instead of an ellipsis after "signs" improves readability and formality.

  10. "the government should encourage the use of public transport such as metro, bus, tram" -> "the government should promote the use of public transportation modes such as the metro, bus, and tram"
    Explanation: "Promote" is a more formal verb than "encourage," and "public transportation modes" is a more precise term than "public transport," which is less formal and less specific. Also, using "and" after "tram" improves the sentence structure and formality.

  11. "introducing concession fares for public transports" -> "introducing discounted fares for public transportation"
    Explanation: "Discounted fares" is a more specific and formal term than "concession fares," and "public transportation" is preferred over "public transports" for consistency and formality.

  12. "conducting regular maintenance" -> "regular maintenance"
    Explanation: "Regular maintenance" is a more concise and formal way to express the idea, eliminating the redundancy of "conducting."

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the question. It identifies causes of traffic congestion (population density, poor infrastructure) and proposes solutions (counter-urbanization, promoting public transport, infrastructure improvement).
    • How to improve: To further enhance this criterion, ensure that each solution proposed is directly linked to a cause mentioned. For instance, explicitly connect how improving infrastructure directly alleviates traffic caused by poor road conditions.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a consistent stance throughout, advocating for governmental actions to mitigate traffic congestion through specific policies.
    • How to improve: Strengthen the thesis statement by making it more prominent in the introduction and concluding with a reaffirmation of the stance in the conclusion. This helps in reinforcing clarity and coherence.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: Ideas are presented adequately with some development. Each cause and solution is introduced and supported with examples (population density, lack of public transport infrastructure).
    • How to improve: Increase the depth of discussion for each proposed solution. Provide more specific examples or case studies to illustrate how these solutions have been effective elsewhere, enhancing the persuasive impact of the essay.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, discussing causes of traffic congestion and viable solutions related to urban planning and infrastructure.
    • How to improve: Avoid general statements that are not directly related to the prompt, such as broader discussions on economic impacts or environmental benefits unless explicitly tied back to traffic congestion.

In summary, while the essay effectively addresses the prompt by identifying causes and proposing solutions for traffic congestion, there are opportunities to strengthen the connections between causes and solutions and to deepen the analysis and support for proposed actions. Ensuring a clear, consistently maintained thesis and staying closely aligned with the prompt throughout will further elevate the coherence and depth of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a clear organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing causes and solutions, and a concluding paragraph summarizing the proposed solutions. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the problem or solution, maintaining a logical sequence of ideas.
    • How to improve: To further enhance logical organization, consider explicitly linking ideas between paragraphs. For instance, use transitional phrases like "Moreover," or "In addition to," to strengthen the flow between causes and solutions sections.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively, each beginning with a clear topic sentence that guides the content. This helps in presenting distinct ideas within each paragraph, such as discussing causes in one paragraph and solutions in another.
    • How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph develops a single main idea comprehensively. In some instances, like in the paragraph discussing causes of traffic jams, ensure all aspects (e.g., high population density, poor infrastructure) are fully elaborated to avoid underdeveloped points.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs cohesive devices such as linking words ("To address it," "Furthermore," "In conclusion"), referencing ("This issue," "These measures"), and parallel structures ("encouraging people to resettle," "introducing concession fares"). These devices help in maintaining coherence and guiding the reader through the essay.
    • How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, consider integrating more advanced linking words and phrases like "Consequently," "On the contrary," or "In contrast to," which can add nuance and depth to your arguments. Additionally, use pronouns and synonyms effectively to avoid repetition, enhancing clarity and cohesion.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt with a clear structure and cohesive flow of ideas. Improvements in linking ideas between paragraphs and further development of key points within paragraphs can elevate coherence and cohesion to a higher band score level.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient variety of vocabulary relevant to the topic of traffic congestion. For example, terms such as "traffic jams," "metropolitan areas," "counter-urbanization," and "concession fares" are appropriately used to discuss causes and solutions.
    • How to improve: To enhance lexical diversity further, consider incorporating more specific technical terms related to urban planning or traffic management where applicable. For instance, using terms like "traffic management strategies," "urban sprawl," or "sustainable transport solutions" could add depth and precision to your analysis.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The vocabulary used generally conveys the intended meanings. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more precise. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "traffic jams," consider varying with phrases like "gridlock" or "traffic congestion" to avoid repetition and add nuance.
    • How to improve: Aim for more precise vocabulary by selecting terms that capture specific aspects of the issue more accurately. For example, replace general terms like "problems" with more descriptive terms such as "transportation challenges" or "urban mobility issues."
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: Spelling is generally accurate throughout the essay, with minor errors such as "counter-urbanization" (missing hyphen) and "transport participants" (could be rephrased for clarity).
    • How to improve: Continue practicing spellings of technical terms related to urban planning and transportation to ensure consistency and accuracy. Utilize spell-check tools to catch minor errors like missing hyphens or irregular spellings in technical vocabulary.

Overall, while the essay effectively addresses the causes of traffic congestion and proposes relevant solutions, further enhancement in lexical diversity and precision can elevate the clarity and sophistication of your arguments. Keep refining your vocabulary and spelling accuracy to strengthen your writing further.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. It employs simple, compound, and complex sentences, albeit somewhat repetitively. For instance, there is frequent use of basic subject-verb-object structures ("Traffic jams can be caused by…"; "To solve this issue…"). While some complex sentences are present ("Counter-urbanization policies encourage people to resettle…"), more variety in sentence structure complexity (e.g., using conditional sentences, passive voice constructions) would enhance the essay’s richness and coherence.
    • How to improve: To enrich the grammatical range, consider integrating more diverse structures such as conditional sentences ("If governments implement stricter regulations, traffic congestion might decrease."), passive voice ("The roads should be maintained regularly to prevent further deterioration."), and inversion ("Not only does traffic volume contribute to congestion, but poor road maintenance exacerbates the issue."). This will elevate the sophistication of the essay and improve its overall flow.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay exhibits a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances where improvements could be made. For example, there are some errors in subject-verb agreement ("the population is generally very dense"; should be "the population is generally very dense," or "the populations are generally very dense"), and punctuation errors such as missing commas in compound sentences ("This, combined with the lack of traffic facilities…"). These do not significantly impede understanding but suggest opportunities for refinement.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement throughout the essay. Proofreading for missing commas in complex sentences and ensuring consistent punctuation use, especially in lists and complex clauses, will further refine the clarity and precision of your writing.

Overall, the essay effectively addresses the prompt with clear ideas and logical progression. Strengthening sentence variety and refining grammatical accuracy will help elevate the essay to a more sophisticated level, aligning it more closely with the requirements of a Band 7 score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the modern era, traffic congestion is a significant issue affecting urban living standards. This problem arises from factors such as high population density and inadequate infrastructure. Effective solutions are imperative to alleviate this issue. This essay will explore the causes of heavy traffic and propose measures like promoting rural relocation and enhancing public transportation.

Traffic jams primarily stem from the large number of vehicles in metropolitan areas, where population density is high. During peak hours, this leads to significant congestion on roads. Moreover, in many developing nations, there is insufficient public transportation infrastructure, prompting most residents to rely on private vehicles like cars and motorcycles. Additionally, poorly maintained roads with numerous potholes exacerbate the problem, compounded by inadequate traffic management infrastructure such as signals and road markings.

To address these challenges, governments can adopt several strategies. Encouraging urban residents to relocate to rural areas can reduce the number of vehicles on city roads. Furthermore, promoting the use of public transportation systems such as metros, buses, and trams is crucial. This could be achieved by offering discounted fares for public transport and implementing policies like car taxes to discourage private vehicle use. Regular maintenance of roads and continual improvement of traffic infrastructure are also essential to alleviate congestion pressure.

In conclusion, traffic congestion in cities arises due to factors like high vehicle volumes and poor infrastructure quality. To tackle this issue effectively, governments should prioritize solutions such as rural relocation incentives, promotion of public transport with discounted fares, and consistent infrastructure maintenance. These measures can significantly alleviate traffic congestion and improve urban living conditions.

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