In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, the issue of extremely high salaries for a few individuals has sparked significant debate. While many people believe that this is beneficial for national development, others argue that the government should have interventions to set a limit on personal earnings potential. Evidently, although high earnings for some people may create some advantages, including high-quality workforce labor and social contribution, there are also some detrimental effects on social inequality and unity. However, in my opinion, the government should implement more appropriate policies instead of capping individuals’ earnings.
On the one hand, advocates for high salaries point out some impact aspects. It is acknowledged that substantial earnings can serve as an incentive to attract talented and high-quality human resources which are essential to boost economic growth and get the attention of foreign investors. For example, major technology companies like Meta and Google always require skillful individuals whose expertise drives innovation and enhances productivity. Moreover, high earners contribute significantly to the economy and community through taxes and philanthropic activities. Governments can utilize tax revenues collected from these high-income individuals to invest in other crucial sectors, such as infrastructure and healthcare services, fostering national development. Additionally, some wealthy individuals use their accumulated wealth for charitable causes, as exemplified by Bill Gates who has used most of his wealth to support less fortunate situations.
On the other hand, critics argue that extremely high salaries can exacerbate social inequality and social discontent. It is evident that income disparity may create a significant gap between different social classes due to uneven employment distribution. For instance, in India, the chasm between rich and poor leads to the existence of slums, where have complex social evils such as theft or robbery due to lack of employment. In addition, unsuitable economic divides may fuel social tension and cause social instability, as lower-income groups are able to develop feelings of resentment toward those with higher incomes. Therefore, this wealthy gap can undermine social unity and contribute to political unrest, manifesting in protests and strikes.
In conclusion, although high salaries can drive economic progress and attract talent, income disparities can lead to social challenges. However, from my perspective, rather than capping salaries, more appropriate regulations and policies should be launched such as strict taxation policies and public contributions from high earners encouragement. These proposed solutions not only can bridge the gap between different socioeconomic groups, but it also drives a robust economy.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "extremely high salaries" -> "substantial salaries"
   Explanation: The term "substantial" is more precise and less sensational than "extremely high," which can sound exaggerated and informal in an academic context.

2. "high-quality workforce labor" -> "high-quality workforce"
   Explanation: "Workforce labor" is redundant. "Workforce" alone is sufficient and maintains the formal tone.

3. "social contribution" -> "social contributions"
   Explanation: "Contributions" is the plural form necessary here to align with the context of multiple individuals contributing to society.

4. "there are also some detrimental effects" -> "there are also several detrimental effects"
   Explanation: "Several" is more specific and formal than "some," which is vague and less precise.

5. "implement more appropriate policies" -> "adopt more appropriate policies"
   Explanation: "Adopt" is a more formal term than "implement" in this context, fitting better in an academic discussion about policy.

6. "capping individuals’ earnings" -> "capping individual earnings"
   Explanation: "Individual" should be singular to refer to the general concept of earnings, not specific individuals.

7. "advocates for high salaries point out some impact aspects" -> "advocates for high salaries highlight several benefits"
   Explanation: "Highlight several benefits" is more specific and academically appropriate than "point out some impact aspects," which is vague and informal.

8. "substantial earnings can serve as an incentive" -> "substantial earnings can function as an incentive"
   Explanation: "Function as" is a more formal and precise alternative to "serve as," enhancing the academic tone.

9. "get the attention of foreign investors" -> "attract foreign investors"
   Explanation: "Attract" is a more direct and formal verb than "get the attention of," which is colloquial.

10. "less fortunate situations" -> "less fortunate individuals"
    Explanation: "Individuals" is more specific and appropriate than "situations," which is vague and imprecise in this context.

11. "where have complex social evils" -> "where complex social evils exist"
    Explanation: "Exist" is grammatically correct and more formal than "have," which is incorrect in this context.

12. "unsuitable economic divides" -> "unsustainable economic divides"
    Explanation: "Sustainable" is the correct term to describe economic systems that can be maintained over time, whereas "unsuitable" is not typically used in this context.

13. "lower-income groups are able to develop feelings of resentment" -> "lower-income groups may develop feelings of resentment"
    Explanation: "May" is more appropriate than "are able to" as it indicates possibility rather than certainty, which is more academically cautious.

14. "public contributions from high earners encouragement" -> "encouragement of public contributions from high earners"
    Explanation: "Encouragement of" is grammatically correct and clearer than "public contributions from high earners encouragement," which is awkward and incorrect.

15. "drives a robust economy" -> "fosters a robust economy"
    Explanation: "Fosters" is a more precise and formal verb than "drives," which is somewhat colloquial in this context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding high salaries. The first body paragraph discusses the benefits of high salaries, such as attracting talent and contributing to the economy through taxes and philanthropy. The second body paragraph presents the opposing view, highlighting the negative impacts of income disparity, such as social inequality and unrest. The essay concludes with a clear opinion that suggests alternative solutions rather than capping salaries. This comprehensive approach demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt.
  • How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the essay could include more specific examples or data to support the arguments made. For instance, referencing statistics on income inequality or case studies from other countries could provide a stronger foundation for the claims.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, advocating for government intervention through policies rather than salary caps. The opinion is explicitly stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion, which helps to reinforce the writer’s stance. However, the transition between discussing both views and presenting the opinion could be smoother to enhance coherence.
  • How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the discussion of both views to their opinion. For example, phrases like "While both perspectives have merit, I believe that…" could help guide the reader more clearly through the argument.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. The use of examples, such as the mention of tech companies and Bill Gates, effectively illustrates the points made. However, some ideas could be further developed; for instance, the mention of social unrest could be expanded with more detail on how this unrest manifests in society.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on examples and provide more in-depth analysis. This could involve discussing the implications of social unrest in greater detail or providing additional examples of successful taxation policies in other countries.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay stays on topic throughout, addressing the prompt directly and ensuring that all points made are relevant to the discussion of high salaries and their implications. There are no significant deviations from the topic, which contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
  • How to improve: While the essay is focused, the writer should ensure that all examples directly relate to the argument being made. Occasionally, examples may seem tangential; for instance, the mention of slums in India could be tied more closely to the argument about social unrest to maintain relevance.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt and effectively communicates the writer’s perspective. By incorporating more specific examples, enhancing transitions, and further developing ideas, the essay could achieve an even higher level of sophistication and clarity.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the debate surrounding high salaries. Each body paragraph addresses one side of the argument, with the first paragraph discussing the benefits of high salaries and the second addressing the drawbacks. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents the author’s opinion. However, the transition between the two sides could be smoother. For instance, the phrase "On the one hand" is well-used, but the transition to the opposing view could benefit from a clearer signal that a contrasting perspective is being introduced.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly indicate a shift in perspective. For example, after discussing the benefits, you might use a phrase like "Conversely" or "On the other hand, however," to signal the transition to the opposing viewpoint more clearly.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument. Each paragraph has a clear focus, with the first detailing the advantages of high salaries and the second outlining the disadvantages. However, the introduction could be more clearly delineated from the body paragraphs, as it currently blends into the first point without a distinct separation.
  • How to improve: Ensure that the introduction is clearly defined as a separate paragraph from the body. Additionally, consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly state the main idea. For example, starting the second paragraph with "One significant advantage of high salaries is their ability to attract talent" would reinforce the focus of that paragraph.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay employs a variety of cohesive devices, such as "for example," "moreover," and "on the other hand," which help to connect ideas and provide clarity. However, there are instances where the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For example, while "for example" is used effectively, it appears multiple times, which can make the writing feel repetitive.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, consider incorporating synonyms or alternative phrases. Instead of repeatedly using "for example," you could use "such as," "for instance," or "this is illustrated by." Additionally, using more complex cohesive devices like "in contrast" or "similarly" could enhance the sophistication of the writing.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents arguments in a coherent manner. By focusing on improving transitions, clearly defining paragraphs, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can achieve an even higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as "substantial earnings," "talented and high-quality human resources," and "social inequality." These phrases show an ability to discuss complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances where vocabulary could be more varied or sophisticated. For example, the phrase "high-quality workforce labor" could be replaced with "skilled labor force" for conciseness and clarity.
  • How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeating "high salaries," alternatives like "elevated incomes" or "lucrative compensation" could be used. Additionally, exploring more advanced vocabulary related to economics and social issues would strengthen the essay.

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary accurately, but there are moments of imprecision. For example, the phrase "wealthy gap" is somewhat awkward; "wealth gap" or "income disparity" would be more appropriate. Similarly, the expression "where have complex social evils" is grammatically incorrect and unclear.
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on ensuring that phrases are not only correct but also idiomatic. Reading more academic texts on economics and social issues can help familiarize the writer with precise terminology. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy will help eliminate awkward constructions.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay displays a strong command of spelling, with no major errors noted. Words like "philanthropic," "infrastructure," and "contribute" are spelled correctly, reflecting a good level of spelling proficiency.
  • How to improve: To maintain and enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should continue to practice writing and proofreading. Utilizing tools like spell checkers or engaging in spelling quizzes can also be beneficial. Furthermore, reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling through exposure to well-written texts.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource with a band score of 7, there are areas for improvement, particularly in expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and maintaining spelling accuracy. By focusing on these aspects, the writer can elevate their lexical resource to a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "While many people believe that this is beneficial for national development, others argue that the government should have interventions to set a limit on personal earnings potential" effectively convey contrasting viewpoints. Additionally, the use of conditional structures, as seen in "if high salaries are capped, it may deter talent," showcases an understanding of nuanced expression. However, some sentences could benefit from further complexity or variation to enhance engagement and clarity.
  • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures further, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying the placement of clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with "It is acknowledged that," try beginning with a dependent clause or an introductory phrase. This will create a more dynamic flow and keep the reader engaged. Additionally, using more varied conjunctions and transition phrases can help in linking ideas more fluidly.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with only minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "where have complex social evils" should be corrected to "where there are complex social evils" to maintain grammatical integrity. Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "however" in the concluding sentence. The use of commas in lists is appropriate, and overall, the punctuation aids in the readability of the essay.
  • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that all clauses are correctly formed. Regularly revising common grammatical pitfalls and practicing sentence construction can help solidify these skills. For punctuation, consider reviewing rules regarding the use of commas, particularly in complex sentences and before conjunctions in compound sentences. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify areas where punctuation may be lacking or where sentence structure could be improved for clarity.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, focusing on further diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to an even higher standard.

Bài sửa mẫu

In many countries, the issue of extremely high salaries for a select few individuals has sparked significant debate. While many people believe that this is beneficial for national development, others argue that the government should intervene to set limits on personal earnings potential. Evidently, although substantial salaries for some individuals may create advantages, including a high-quality workforce and social contributions, there are also several detrimental effects on social inequality and unity. However, in my opinion, the government should adopt more appropriate policies instead of capping individual earnings.

On the one hand, advocates for high salaries highlight several benefits. It is acknowledged that substantial earnings can function as an incentive to attract talented and high-quality human resources, which are essential for boosting economic growth and attracting foreign investors. For example, major technology companies like Meta and Google consistently seek skilled individuals whose expertise drives innovation and enhances productivity. Moreover, high earners contribute significantly to the economy and community through taxes and philanthropic activities. Governments can utilize tax revenues collected from these high-income individuals to invest in other crucial sectors, such as infrastructure and healthcare services, fostering national development. Additionally, some wealthy individuals use their accumulated wealth for charitable causes, as exemplified by Bill Gates, who has devoted much of his wealth to support less fortunate individuals.

On the other hand, critics argue that extremely high salaries can exacerbate social inequality and discontent. It is evident that income disparity may create a significant gap between different social classes due to uneven employment distribution. For instance, in India, the chasm between rich and poor leads to the existence of slums, where complex social evils such as theft and robbery arise due to a lack of employment opportunities. In addition, unsustainable economic divides may fuel social tension and cause instability, as lower-income groups may develop feelings of resentment toward those with higher incomes. Therefore, this wealth gap can undermine social unity and contribute to political unrest, manifesting in protests and strikes.

In conclusion, although high salaries can drive economic progress and attract talent, income disparities can lead to social challenges. However, from my perspective, rather than capping salaries, more appropriate regulations and policies should be implemented, such as strict taxation policies and encouragement of public contributions from high earners. These proposed solutions can not only bridge the gap between different socioeconomic groups but also foster a robust economy.