In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe the government should limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe the government should limit the amount people can earn.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is disputed that there should be a restriction on the maximum income individuals can attain. However, others think that the higher people earn, the more greatly they can contribute to the nation’s development. This essay will first closely examine both viewpoints before showing my final thoughts.
On the one hand, maximum wage limits will play an important role in the development of society. This approach can reduce the economic gap between the lowest and highest earners. By decreasing income inequality, people are more satisfied with their government, which leads to lower crime rates, political turmoil and other social conflicts. As a result, this can enhance social cohesion and long-term stability. On the other hand, capping people’s earnings might cause a brain drain since many skilled employees, like directors and executives, are inclined to leave and work overseas for higher compensation packages. Undoubtedly, this shortage of well-educated workforce can detrimentally affect the organization of the firm, which decelerates its business progression.
Furthermore, it is widely believed that unrestricted pay rates are conducive to the nation’s prosperity. This is because people will get compensated based on their endeavors and contributions in the workplace. Therefore, it will provide opportunities for workers to strive to earn more and improve their quality of living. Of course, this practice can raise some concerns about widening the gap between the underprivileged and the affluent. However, some countries like Vietnam only require high-income earners to pay taxes. Plus, it is undeniable that the government will benefit greatly in terms of tax revenue, which can substantially stimulate the country’s economy and raise more funds for public services, such as healthcare, educational facility improvement and infrustration development, enhancing the standard of living for all citizens.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the government should not adopt the maximum wage limits because such restrictions can potentially do more harm than good. Instead, individuals should be granted the freedom to earn their income based on their ability and contributions.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "It is disputed that" -> "It is debated whether"
   Explanation: "It is debated whether" is a more precise and formal way to introduce a topic that is open to discussion, aligning better with academic style by clearly indicating the nature of the debate.

2. "the higher people earn, the more greatly they can contribute" -> "the higher the income, the greater the contribution"
   Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and informal. The suggested revision simplifies and clarifies the structure, making it more suitable for formal writing.

3. "This essay will first closely examine both viewpoints" -> "This essay will first examine both perspectives"
   Explanation: "Perspectives" is a more formal term than "viewpoints," and "examine" is a more concise verb choice than "closely examine," enhancing the academic tone.

4. "maximum wage limits will play an important role" -> "the imposition of maximum wage limits will play a crucial role"
   Explanation: Adding "the imposition of" clarifies the action being discussed, and "crucial" is a more precise and formal adjective than "important" in this context.

5. "people are more satisfied with their government" -> "citizens are more satisfied with their government"
   Explanation: "Citizens" is a more formal and precise term than "people" in the context of political discussions, aligning better with academic style.

6. "leads to lower crime rates, political turmoil and other social conflicts" -> "leads to reduced crime rates, diminished political turmoil, and fewer social conflicts"
   Explanation: "Reduced," "diminished," and "fewer" are more precise and formal terms than "lower," "leads to," and "other," enhancing the academic tone and specificity of the statement.

7. "capping people’s earnings might cause a brain drain" -> "imposing a cap on earnings might lead to a brain drain"
   Explanation: "Imposing a cap on earnings" is a more precise and formal way to describe the action of capping, and "lead to" is a more formal transition than "might cause."

8. "well-educated workforce can detrimentally affect" -> "well-educated workforce may detrimentally impact"
   Explanation: "May" is more appropriate than "might" in formal writing, and "impact" is a more formal synonym for "affect," fitting better in an academic context.

9. "decelerates its business progression" -> "impedes its business progress"
   Explanation: "Impedes" is a more precise and formal verb than "decelerates" in this context, and "progress" is the correct noun form to use with "impedes."

10. "it is widely believed that" -> "it is commonly held that"
    Explanation: "Commonly held" is a more formal expression than "widely believed," which is slightly informal and vague for academic writing.

11. "people will get compensated based on their endeavors" -> "individuals will be compensated based on their efforts"
    Explanation: "Individuals" is a more formal term than "people," and "efforts" is a more precise term than "endeavors" in this context, aligning better with formal language standards.

12. "infrustration development" -> "infrastructure development"
    Explanation: Corrects a typographical error, ensuring accuracy and professionalism in the text.

13. "raising more funds for public services" -> "generating additional funds for public services"
    Explanation: "Generating" is a more precise and formal verb than "raising" in this context, enhancing the academic tone and clarity of the statement.

14. "I strongly believe" -> "I firmly believe"
    Explanation: "Firmly" is a more formal adverb than "strongly," which is slightly informal for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

• Answer All Parts of the Question:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both views regarding high salaries. The first viewpoint is presented in the first body paragraph, discussing the potential benefits of wage limits, such as reducing income inequality and enhancing social stability. The opposing view is articulated in the second body paragraph, emphasizing the advantages of unrestricted salaries, including motivation for workers and increased tax revenue. The essay concludes with a clear personal opinion against wage limits. However, while both perspectives are discussed, the argument supporting wage limits could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to strengthen the analysis.
  • How to improve: To enhance the discussion of both views, consider incorporating specific examples from countries that have implemented wage caps or those that have benefited from high salaries. This would provide a more nuanced understanding of the implications of each viewpoint.

• Present a Clear Position Throughout:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position against wage limits, which is consistently articulated in the conclusion. The writer effectively uses phrases like "I strongly believe" to reinforce their stance. However, the transition between discussing both views and stating the personal opinion could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence of the argument.
  • How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly signal the shift from discussing both perspectives to presenting your opinion. For example, phrases like "In light of these arguments" or "Ultimately, I believe" can help guide the reader through your reasoning.

• Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents and supports ideas well, particularly in the discussion of the benefits of unrestricted salaries, where the writer elaborates on tax revenue and its impact on public services. However, the argument for wage limits could be further developed. While it mentions reduced inequality and social stability, it lacks depth in exploring how these factors specifically contribute to societal benefits.
  • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, especially regarding wage limits, consider adding more detailed explanations or examples. For instance, discussing specific social outcomes in countries with lower income inequality could illustrate the benefits more effectively.

• Stay on Topic:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing both sides of the argument and concluding with a personal opinion. There are no significant deviations from the prompt, and the writer consistently relates their points back to the central issue of high salaries and government regulation.
  • How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that every point made directly ties back to the prompt can enhance the overall coherence. For example, reiterating how each argument relates to the broader implications for society can reinforce the relevance of the discussion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates the writer’s viewpoints. With some enhancements in the depth of argumentation and transitions, it could achieve an even higher score in Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

• Organize Information Logically:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s intention to discuss both viewpoints. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument, with the first focusing on the potential benefits of wage limits and the second on the advantages of unrestricted salaries. However, while the ideas are generally organized logically, there are moments where the transitions between points could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing the drawbacks of wage caps to the benefits of unrestricted pay could be more explicit to guide the reader more effectively.
  • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, the writer could use clearer transition phrases between contrasting ideas. For instance, phrases like "Conversely," or "In contrast," can help signal shifts in perspective more effectively. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea will help reinforce the organization of the essay.

• Use Paragraphs:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each one focusing on a distinct viewpoint. The introduction and conclusion are clearly delineated, and the body paragraphs are structured around the two main perspectives. However, the paragraphs could benefit from more internal cohesion; for instance, the second body paragraph could be more tightly focused on the benefits of high salaries without introducing too many tangential points.
  • How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, the writer should ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea supported by relevant examples. It may be beneficial to start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence that summarizes the main point, followed by supporting details. Additionally, maintaining a consistent focus within each paragraph will help prevent the introduction of unrelated ideas.

• Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "On the one hand," "On the other hand," and "Furthermore," which help to connect ideas and indicate the structure of the argument. However, there is a reliance on a limited range of cohesive devices, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For instance, the phrase "this can" is used multiple times, which detracts from the overall variety of the language.
  • How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, using alternatives such as "Additionally," "Moreover," "In addition," and "Nevertheless" can enhance the flow of ideas. Furthermore, incorporating pronouns and synonyms can help to avoid repetition and create a more engaging reading experience.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, addressing the areas for improvement will help elevate the writing to a higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

• Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "economic gap," "income inequality," "brain drain," and "prosperity." These words effectively convey complex ideas and contribute to the overall clarity of the argument. However, there are instances where more varied synonyms could enhance the richness of the vocabulary. For example, the repeated use of "earn" could be diversified with alternatives like "receive," "obtain," or "generate."
  • How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should actively seek synonyms and related terms during the drafting process. Utilizing a thesaurus can be helpful, but it’s essential to ensure that the chosen synonyms fit the context appropriately. For instance, instead of repeatedly stating "earn," the writer could alternate with phrases like "acquire income" or "attain financial rewards."

• Use Vocabulary Precisely:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary accurately, but there are a few instances of imprecise usage. For example, the phrase "the organization of the firm" could be more clearly articulated as "the operations of the firm" or "the management of the firm," which would better reflect the intended meaning. Additionally, the term "infrustration development" appears to be a typographical error, likely intended to be "infrastructure development."
  • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should consider the specific context in which words are used. This can be achieved by reviewing the essay for clarity and ensuring that each term aligns with the intended meaning. Engaging in peer reviews or utilizing writing tools that highlight word choice can also aid in refining vocabulary precision.

• Use Correct Spelling:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits a generally high level of spelling accuracy, with only one notable error: "infrustration" instead of "infrastructure." This suggests that the writer has a good command of spelling but may occasionally overlook typographical errors.
  • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a thorough proofreading process, ideally reading the essay aloud or utilizing spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words can help reinforce correct spelling in future writing tasks. Regular practice and exposure to written English can also contribute to improved spelling skills.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of lexical resource, achieving a band score of 7. With targeted efforts to diversify vocabulary, enhance precision, and ensure spelling accuracy, the writer can further elevate their performance in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

• Use a Wide Range of Structures:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable variety of sentence structures. For instance, complex sentences such as "However, others think that the higher people earn, the more greatly they can contribute to the nation’s development" effectively convey nuanced ideas. The use of conditional structures, as seen in "if the government should limit the amount people can earn," also adds depth to the argument. Additionally, the essay incorporates a mix of simple and compound sentences, which helps maintain reader engagement. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be further diversified, particularly in the use of passive voice or more varied introductory phrases.
  • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more passive constructions (e.g., "It is argued that…") and varying the sentence openings to include adverbial clauses (e.g., "While some believe that…"). This not only adds complexity but also showcases a broader grammatical range.

• Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

  • Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a high level of grammatical accuracy, with few errors. For example, phrases like "maximum wage limits will play an important role" and "this can enhance social cohesion" are grammatically correct and effectively convey the intended meaning. However, there are minor issues, such as "infrustration development," which should be corrected to "infrastructure development." Additionally, the use of commas is mostly appropriate, but there are places where they could enhance clarity, particularly in longer sentences.
  • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is advisable to proofread for typographical errors and ensure that all terms are used correctly. Additionally, practicing the placement of commas in complex sentences can help clarify meaning. For example, consider breaking up longer sentences or using commas to separate clauses for better readability.

In summary, the essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical range and accuracy, meriting a band score of 8. To elevate this score further, focus on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision through careful proofreading.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is debated whether there should be a restriction on the maximum income individuals can attain. However, others think that the higher people earn, the greater their contribution to the nation’s development. This essay will first closely examine both viewpoints before showing my final thoughts.

On the one hand, maximum wage limits will play an important role in the development of society. This approach can reduce the economic gap between the lowest and highest earners. By decreasing income inequality, citizens are more satisfied with their government, which leads to lower crime rates, diminished political turmoil, and fewer social conflicts. As a result, this can enhance social cohesion and long-term stability. On the other hand, capping people’s earnings might cause a brain drain since many skilled employees, like directors and executives, are inclined to leave and work overseas for higher compensation packages. Undoubtedly, this shortage of a well-educated workforce can detrimentally affect the organization of firms, which impedes their business progress.

Furthermore, it is widely believed that unrestricted pay rates are conducive to the nation’s prosperity. This is because individuals will be compensated based on their efforts and contributions in the workplace. Therefore, it will provide opportunities for workers to strive to earn more and improve their quality of living. Of course, this practice can raise some concerns about widening the gap between the underprivileged and the affluent. However, some countries like Vietnam only require high-income earners to pay taxes. Plus, it is undeniable that the government will benefit greatly in terms of tax revenue, which can substantially stimulate the country’s economy and generate additional funds for public services, such as healthcare, educational facility improvement, and infrastructure development, enhancing the standard of living for all citizens.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that the government should not adopt maximum wage limits because such restrictions can potentially do more harm than good. Instead, individuals should be granted the freedom to earn their income based on their ability and contributions.