In some countries around the world men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons for this development? What are the effects on society and family life?

Many people are choosing to have children later for several reasons. Firstly, the rising costs of living in many parts of the world, particularly urban areas, are the principal principle factor behind this development. This make it challenging for people to afford suitable living conditions. Most parents often prioritize securing stable, affordable housing before considering starting a family. Secondly, many people are postponing having children so that they can pursue their personal and professional goals. In Hanoi, with the significant growth of demand for accommodation in recent years. As a result, citizens barely can not have a place to stay.

From a familial perspective, older couples are calmer and more experienced, and they often have more resources at their disposal to raise their children. This can foster a stable home environment, promoting healthy emotional and psychological development for children. However, on a societal level, delaying parenthood means fewer babies will be given birth within a span of time, potentially leading to a lack of human resources and its concomitant economic problems. This is particularly noticeable with Japan, when the majority of Japanese people are focusing on their career, which is the reason why it gots delay with parenthood. This lay the foundation for aging population in this country.
In conclusion, people are having children later in life due in large part to the financial pressure of modern life and their desire to obtain their ambitions. This development is good for family life, but can have serious social and economic problems.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Many people are choosing to have children later" -> "Many individuals are opting to delay parenthood"
Explanation: "Opting to delay parenthood" is more precise and formal, avoiding the colloquial tone of "choosing to have children later."
"the rising costs of living" -> "the escalating costs of living"
Explanation: "Escalating" is a more precise term that conveys the increasing nature of the costs, enhancing the academic tone.
"the principal principle factor" -> "the primary factor"
Explanation: "Principal principle" is a redundancy; "primary factor" is the correct term, providing clarity and avoiding redundancy.
"This make it challenging" -> "This makes it challenging"
Explanation: Correcting the verb agreement from "make" to "makes" aligns with the singular subject "This."
"Most parents often prioritize" -> "Many parents frequently prioritize"
Explanation: "Many" is more appropriate than "Most" in this context, as it is less absolute and more suitable for general trends. "Frequently" is also more formal than "often."
"In Hanoi, with the significant growth of demand for accommodation in recent years" -> "In Hanoi, where there has been significant growth in accommodation demand over recent years"
Explanation: The revised phrase clarifies the temporal aspect and uses "where there has been" for a more formal and precise expression.
"barely can not have a place to stay" -> "are barely able to secure accommodation"
Explanation: "Are barely able to secure accommodation" is more formal and avoids the awkward construction of "barely can not."
"older couples are calmer and more experienced" -> "older couples tend to be more composed and experienced"
Explanation: "Tend to be" is a more academically appropriate phrase than "are," and "more composed" is a more precise term than "calmer" in this context.
"This can foster a stable home environment" -> "This fosters a stable home environment"
Explanation: Changing "can" to "fosters" makes the statement more definitive and assertive, fitting the formal academic style.
"fewer babies will be given birth within a span of time" -> "fewer babies will be born within a given timeframe"
Explanation: "Given timeframe" is more precise and formal than "span of time," and "born" corrects the grammatical error in "given birth."
"its concomitant economic problems" -> "the concomitant economic issues"
Explanation: "The" is the correct article to use before "concomitant economic issues," providing clarity and formality.
"it gots delay with parenthood" -> "it has been delayed due to parenthood"
Explanation: "It has been delayed due to parenthood" corrects the grammatical error and clarifies the cause of the delay.
"This lay the foundation for aging population" -> "This lays the foundation for an aging population"
Explanation: Correcting "lay" to "lays" for subject-verb agreement and adding "an" before "aging population" for grammatical correctness.
"people are having children later in life" -> "individuals are delaying parenthood"
Explanation: "Delaying parenthood" is a more precise and formal way to express the concept than "having children later in life."
"This development is good for family life, but can have serious social and economic problems" -> "This development benefits family life, but poses significant social and economic challenges"
Explanation: "Benefits" and "poses significant challenges" are more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the conclusion.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for delayed parenthood, such as rising living costs and personal ambitions, as well as the effects on society and family life. However, the analysis of societal effects is somewhat limited and could benefit from more depth. For instance, while the essay mentions fewer births leading to economic problems, it does not explore specific implications or examples beyond Japan.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should provide a more comprehensive exploration of the societal effects, including potential impacts on workforce demographics, healthcare systems, and intergenerational relationships. Adding specific examples from various countries could also strengthen the argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that delayed parenthood has both positive and negative implications. However, the transition between discussing family benefits and societal drawbacks could be smoother. For example, the phrase "This development is good for family life, but can have serious social and economic problems" could be more explicitly linked to the earlier arguments.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer should ensure that each paragraph logically flows into the next. Using transition phrases that explicitly connect the benefits and drawbacks of delayed parenthood would help reinforce the overall position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as financial pressures and personal ambitions, but the development of these ideas is sometimes superficial. For instance, the mention of "stable home environment" is a good point, but it could be further elaborated with examples of how this stability manifests in family dynamics.
- How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should aim to elaborate on each point with specific examples or statistics. For instance, discussing how older parents might provide better educational opportunities or emotional support could strengthen the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay stays on topic, addressing the reasons and effects of delayed parenthood. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the discussion of Japan, where the phrasing "which is the reason why it gots delay with parenthood" is awkward and detracts from the clarity of the argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all statements directly relate to the prompt. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will help ensure that the ideas are communicated effectively without distracting errors.

In summary, while the essay achieves a solid Band 7 for Task Response, it could be improved by providing deeper analysis, clearer transitions, more detailed support for ideas, and careful attention to grammatical accuracy.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The reasons for delaying parenthood are logically organized, starting with economic factors and followed by personal aspirations. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing personal goals to the implications for family life lacks a clear connective statement, which can confuse readers about the relationship between the two points.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly connect ideas. For example, after discussing economic pressures, you could introduce the next point with a phrase like, "In addition to financial considerations, many individuals also seek to fulfill personal and professional aspirations before starting a family." This would help clarify the relationship between the points and improve overall coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic. The first paragraph addresses the reasons for delayed parenthood, while the second discusses the effects on family and society. However, the paragraph discussing societal effects could be better structured. The mention of Japan feels somewhat abrupt and lacks a clear connection to the preceding ideas, which may leave readers unsure of its relevance.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. For instance, you could start the second paragraph with a sentence like, "While there are benefits to having children later, this trend also poses significant challenges for society." This would create a clearer thematic link and guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "In conclusion," which help to organize thoughts. However, there is a limited variety of cohesive devices employed, and some sentences lack clear connections. For example, the phrase "As a result" is used, but it could be more effectively integrated into the context of the preceding sentence to clarify the cause-and-effect relationship.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For example, you could use "Moreover," "Consequently," or "On the other hand" to add depth to your transitions. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used in a way that clearly relates to the ideas being connected. For instance, instead of simply stating "As a result," you might say, "As a result of these financial pressures, many individuals find themselves postponing parenthood."

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, focusing on improving transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices will enhance clarity and cohesion, potentially raising the band score further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair range of vocabulary, with terms like "principal factor," "stable housing," and "psychological development." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication. Phrases such as "many people" and "having children later" are repeated, which detracts from the overall lexical diversity. Additionally, the use of "gots delay" is incorrect and reflects a lack of lexical range.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "many people," alternatives like "numerous individuals" or "a significant number of parents" could be utilized. Additionally, exploring more sophisticated terms related to the topic, such as "demographic shifts" or "socioeconomic factors," would elevate the lexical quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used correctly, there are instances of imprecise usage that lead to confusion. For example, "gots delay" is grammatically incorrect and should be "has been delayed." The phrase "barely can not have a place to stay" is awkward and unclear; it would be more effective to say "struggle to find adequate housing." The term "its concomitant economic problems" is also vague and could be more clearly articulated.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing word choice and ensuring that terms are contextually appropriate. For example, instead of "gots delay," the writer could use "has experienced delays" to convey the intended meaning more accurately. Additionally, using clearer phrases can help avoid ambiguity, such as replacing "barely can not" with "often struggle to."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "gots" instead of "got," "this make" instead of "this makes," and "lay" instead of "lays." These errors indicate a need for greater attention to spelling accuracy, which can impact the overall impression of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Reading the essay aloud can help identify errors, as can using spell-check tools. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. The writer should also familiarize themselves with the correct forms of verbs and their conjugations to avoid errors like "this make."

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are notable areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. Focusing on these aspects will help raise the Lexical Resource score in future writing tasks.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "Firstly, the rising costs of living" and "From a familial perspective" shows an ability to introduce ideas effectively. However, some sentences are overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed, such as "As a result, citizens barely can not have a place to stay," which could be rephrased for clarity and fluidity. Additionally, the use of "which is the reason why it gots delay with parenthood" contains grammatical errors that detract from the overall quality.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences and varied conjunctions. For example, instead of saying "This make it challenging for people," a more complex structure could be "This situation makes it increasingly challenging for individuals to secure suitable living conditions." Furthermore, varying the sentence openings and using more sophisticated linking phrases could improve the overall flow of ideas.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits several grammatical inaccuracies and punctuation errors that affect clarity. For instance, "This make it challenging" should be "This makes it challenging," and "gots delay" is incorrect; the correct phrase would be "is delayed." Additionally, the phrase "barely can not have a place to stay" is confusing and should be revised for clarity. Punctuation is generally correct, but the use of commas could be improved for better readability, such as in "However, on a societal level, delaying parenthood means fewer babies will be given birth" where a comma before "which" could enhance clarity.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly focusing on common errors, can be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that each sentence is clear and correctly structured will help enhance overall accuracy. Reading more complex texts can also help the writer internalize correct grammatical structures and punctuation usage.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Many individuals are opting to delay parenthood for several reasons. Firstly, the escalating costs of living in many parts of the world, particularly urban areas, are the primary factor behind this development. This makes it challenging for people to afford suitable living conditions. Many parents frequently prioritize securing stable, affordable housing before considering starting a family. Secondly, individuals are postponing having children to pursue their personal and professional goals. In Hanoi, where there has been significant growth in accommodation demand over recent years, citizens are barely able to secure accommodation.

From a familial perspective, older couples tend to be more composed and experienced, and they often have more resources at their disposal to raise their children. This fosters a stable home environment, promoting healthy emotional and psychological development for children. However, on a societal level, delaying parenthood means fewer babies will be born within a given timeframe, potentially leading to a lack of human resources and the concomitant economic issues. This is particularly noticeable in Japan, where the majority of people are focusing on their careers, which has resulted in a delay in parenthood. This lays the foundation for an aging population in this country.

In conclusion, individuals are delaying parenthood largely due to the financial pressures of modern life and their desire to achieve their ambitions. This development benefits family life, but poses significant social and economic challenges.