In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some nations, laws have been introduced to prohibit companies from rejecting job applicants solely based on their age. This essay will explore the positive and negative implications of such policies and explain why I believe that, despite some challenges, protecting individuals from age-based discrimination in hiring is ultimately a positive development.

On the downside, limiting a company’s ability to reject candidates based on age can affect strategic hiring. This may prevent companies from choosing the best fit for specific roles, possibly lowering overall performance. It might also add costs for training or adapting employees whose skills may not match current needs, impacting company growth and competitiveness.A major argument in favor of this view is that limited succession planning.This is exemplified by companies might find it more difficult to plan for long-term roles if they are restricted from considering age as a factor, as older employees may be closer to retirement. This can complicate succession planning and potentially hinder career growth opportunities for younger employees.

However, prohibiting age-based discrimination in hiring offers several benefits to job seekers of all ages. One significant reason to support this viewpoint is that it promotes equal opportunities.This ensures that job applicants are evaluated based on their skills and experience, rather than their age, fosters fairness in the job market. Additionally, it helps reduce age discrimination by eliminating stereotypes against both older and younger workers, thereby making the workplace more diverse and inclusive.By fostering an environment where employees of all ages feel equally valued, organizations can benefit from a broader range of perspectives, leading to innovative solutions and enhanced creativity.

In conclusion, while there are some concerns about how banning age discrimination in hiring might affect company performance and long-term planning, the advantages are clear by ensuring that candidates are hired based on their skills rather than their age promotes fairness and equal opportunities

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"laws have been introduced" -> "laws have been enacted"
Explanation: "Enacted" is a more precise term in legal contexts, indicating the formal passage of laws, which enhances the academic tone of the sentence.
"solely based on their age" -> "exclusively based on their age"
Explanation: "Exclusively" is more formal and precise than "solely," which is slightly less formal and can be vague in this context.
"This essay will explore" -> "This essay will examine"
Explanation: "Examine" is a more academic term than "explore," which is often used in more casual writing.
"positive and negative implications" -> "benefits and drawbacks"
Explanation: "Benefits and drawbacks" is a more formal and commonly used phrase in academic writing to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of a policy.
"protecting individuals from age-based discrimination" -> "preventing age-based discrimination"
Explanation: "Preventing" is a more direct and formal verb than "protecting," which can imply a more passive role in the context of policy implementation.
"On the downside" -> "On the negative side"
Explanation: "On the negative side" is a more formal expression commonly used in academic writing to introduce a contrasting viewpoint.
"might also add costs" -> "may also incur additional costs"
Explanation: "May also incur additional costs" is more precise and formal, specifying the type of costs and the potential impact.
"companies might find it more difficult" -> "companies may encounter difficulties"
Explanation: "May encounter difficulties" is a more formal way to express potential challenges, aligning better with academic style.
"This can complicate succession planning" -> "This may complicate succession planning"
Explanation: "May" is more appropriate than "can" in formal writing, as it suggests a possibility rather than certainty.
"This is exemplified by companies might find it more difficult" -> "This is exemplified by the difficulty companies may encounter"
Explanation: Clarifies the subject and verb agreement, making the sentence more grammatically correct and formal.
"prohibiting age-based discrimination in hiring offers several benefits" -> "prohibiting age-based discrimination in hiring provides several advantages"
Explanation: "Provides" is a more formal synonym for "offers," and "advantages" is a more precise term than "benefits" in this context.
"ensures that job applicants are evaluated" -> "ensures that job applicants are assessed"
Explanation: "Assessed" is a more formal term than "evaluated," fitting better in an academic context.
"fosters fairness in the job market" -> "promotes fairness in the job market"
Explanation: "Promotes" is a more direct and formal verb than "fosters," which can be less specific in this context.
"helps reduce age discrimination" -> "helps mitigate age discrimination"
Explanation: "Mitigate" is a more precise term than "reduce" in the context of addressing complex social issues like discrimination.
"ensuring that candidates are hired based on their skills rather than their age" -> "ensuring that candidates are selected based on their skills rather than their age"
Explanation: "Selected" is a more precise term than "hired" in the context of the hiring process, aligning better with formal language.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative implications of laws prohibiting age discrimination in hiring. The author presents a balanced view, outlining potential drawbacks such as impacts on strategic hiring and succession planning, while also highlighting the benefits of promoting equal opportunities and reducing stereotypes. The inclusion of both perspectives demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response further, the author could provide more specific examples or case studies that illustrate the real-world effects of such laws. This would not only strengthen the argument but also demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that supports the prohibition of age discrimination, stating that it is ultimately a positive development. This stance is articulated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. However, the transition between discussing the downsides and the advantages could be smoother to maintain clarity.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the author could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the negative aspects to the positive ones, reinforcing the overall argument. For example, after discussing the downsides, a phrase like "Despite these challenges, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks" could help clarify the position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the impact on strategic hiring and the promotion of fairness. However, some points, particularly regarding the downsides, could be more thoroughly developed. For instance, the mention of "limited succession planning" is somewhat vague and could benefit from further elaboration.
- How to improve: The author should aim to extend ideas by providing more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, they could elaborate on how companies have successfully implemented age-inclusive hiring practices or cite statistics on workplace diversity and its impact on innovation.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the implications of age discrimination laws. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more tightly focused, particularly in the section about the downsides, where the argument about training costs feels slightly disconnected from the main thesis.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the author should ensure that every point made directly supports the central argument. They could also consider outlining the main points in the introduction to provide a roadmap for the reader, ensuring that all subsequent paragraphs relate back to the thesis.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-structured argument. With some refinements in the areas of example usage, clarity of transitions, and depth of idea development, it could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the writer’s stance. The body paragraphs are organized to discuss both the negative and positive implications of age discrimination laws. However, the transition between the negative aspects and the positive aspects could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing the downsides to the benefits feels abrupt. The ideas within paragraphs are generally well-developed, but some points could benefit from clearer connections to the main argument.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For example, phrases like "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can help signal a shift in perspective. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea, allowing readers to easily follow the progression of thought.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument. However, the second paragraph, which discusses the downsides, could be split into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the strategic hiring concerns and another on succession planning. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and improve clarity.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant examples or explanations. Consider starting a new paragraph when introducing a new point or argument. This will help maintain clarity and allow the reader to digest each point more effectively.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "however," "additionally," and "in conclusion." These devices help to connect ideas and indicate the relationship between different parts of the argument. However, the essay could benefit from a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance the overall flow. For instance, the use of synonyms or phrases that refer back to previously mentioned ideas could improve cohesion.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a mix of conjunctions, adverbial phrases, and reference words. For example, instead of repeating "age discrimination," you might use "this practice" or "such policies" in subsequent mentions. Additionally, consider using more complex cohesive devices, such as "not only… but also" to link related ideas and create a more sophisticated argument structure.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view, focusing on improving transitions, paragraph structure, and the variety of cohesive devices will enhance coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "prohibit," "discrimination," "strategic hiring," and "succession planning." However, the vocabulary used is somewhat repetitive and lacks variation. For example, the phrase "age-based discrimination" appears multiple times without synonyms or alternative expressions, which could enhance the essay’s lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms to avoid repetition. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "age-based discrimination," alternatives like "age bias," "ageism," or "age-related discrimination" could be employed. Additionally, using more varied adjectives and adverbs could enrich the language, such as replacing "positive" with "beneficial" or "advantageous."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "this can complicate succession planning" could be more effectively articulated. The term "complicate" is somewhat vague and could be replaced with a more precise verb that conveys the specific nature of the complications faced by companies.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should aim to choose words that convey exact meanings. Instead of "complicate," consider using "hinder," "obstruct," or "impede," which provide a clearer picture of the challenges faced in succession planning. Additionally, ensuring that phrases are complete and grammatically correct, such as "This is exemplified by companies might find it more difficult," should be revised to "This is exemplified by how companies might find it more difficult," would improve clarity.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with no major errors that impede understanding. However, there are minor issues, such as the lack of a space before "A major argument" in the second paragraph, which can be considered a typographical error rather than a spelling error.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully to catch typographical errors and ensure proper formatting. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help identify mistakes that may be overlooked during the writing process. Additionally, practicing spelling of commonly used academic terms can further solidify spelling proficiency.

Overall, while the essay exhibits a solid foundation in lexical resource, focusing on enhancing vocabulary range, precision, and attention to detail in spelling will contribute to a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences such as "This essay will explore the positive and negative implications of such policies and explain why I believe that, despite some challenges, protecting individuals from age-based discrimination in hiring is ultimately a positive development." However, there are instances of repetitive sentence beginnings and a lack of more sophisticated structures. For example, the phrase "This may prevent companies from choosing the best fit for specific roles" could be rephrased to introduce more variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more compound and complex sentences, as well as varying the sentence openings. Using introductory phrases or clauses can help create a more engaging flow. For instance, instead of starting multiple sentences with "This," the writer could use phrases like "One potential drawback is…" or "In addition to this concern, it is important to note that…"
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of grammar and punctuation, but there are some notable errors that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "limited succession planning. This is exemplified by companies might find it more difficult" contains a grammatical error; it should read "This is exemplified by the fact that companies might find it more difficult." Additionally, there are missing commas that could improve readability, such as before "which" in "the advantages are clear by ensuring that candidates are hired based on their skills rather than their age promotes fairness and equal opportunities."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay for errors in sentence structure and punctuation. Paying attention to comma usage, especially in complex sentences, will enhance clarity. Additionally, practicing the identification and correction of common grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and sentence fragments, can help strengthen overall writing skills.

Overall, while the essay achieves a solid band score of 7 for Grammatical Range and Accuracy, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and refining grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher level.

Bài sửa mẫu

In some nations, laws have been enacted to prohibit companies from rejecting job applicants exclusively based on their age. This essay will examine the positive and negative implications of such policies and explain why I believe that, despite some challenges, preventing age-based discrimination in hiring is ultimately a positive development.

On the negative side, limiting a company’s ability to reject candidates based on age can affect strategic hiring. This may prevent companies from choosing the best fit for specific roles, potentially lowering overall performance. It might also incur additional costs for training or adapting employees whose skills may not align with current needs, impacting company growth and competitiveness. A major argument in favor of this view is the complications that arise in succession planning. This is exemplified by the difficulty companies may encounter in planning for long-term roles if they are restricted from considering age as a factor, as older employees may be closer to retirement. This may complicate succession planning and potentially hinder career growth opportunities for younger employees.

However, prohibiting age-based discrimination in hiring provides several advantages to job seekers of all ages. One significant reason to support this viewpoint is that it promotes equal opportunities. This ensures that job applicants are assessed based on their skills and experience rather than their age, fostering fairness in the job market. Additionally, it helps mitigate age discrimination by eliminating stereotypes against both older and younger workers, thereby making the workplace more diverse and inclusive. By fostering an environment where employees of all ages feel equally valued, organizations can benefit from a broader range of perspectives, leading to innovative solutions and enhanced creativity.

In conclusion, while there are some concerns about how banning age discrimination in hiring might affect company performance and long-term planning, the advantages are clear. By ensuring that candidates are selected based on their skills rather than their age, this approach promotes fairness and equal opportunities in the job market.