In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, most of the younger generation chooses to live independently
without over-reliance on one is parents. From my perspective, this matter offers a lot of benefits to their residents and my reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
Firstly, young people living alone will be more comfortable and freedom in terms of finances and privacy. To elaborate further, individuals do not need to concern themselves with the needs and schedules of others such as when their wives/husbands will arrive home, what they need to cook for them, etc. Moreover, it is easy for them to design their houses or rooms without having conflicts with others. Living separately will also limit conflicts between family members on many issues such as finances, hobbies, etc. Young people will be able to decide according to their preferences.
Secondly, another supportive reason contributes to my idea is that a number of accommodation are pet allowed. To explain in greater detail, residents can raise pets, namely dogs, cats, hamsters and fish to avoid loneliness when living alone, pets will be our companions. For example, my sister studied at her university and she lived in a pet-friendly apartment, therefore I bought my sister a puppy so she wouldn't be lonely when she lives alone.
In conclusion it is undeniable that many citizens choose to live alone as there are plenty of upsides. In my opinion, living alone offers us freedom and liberty; however, we can still buy pets if we feel a bit lonely, as many accommodation these days allow us to raise pets.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Nowadays" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more formal and precise temporal indicator suitable for academic writing, replacing the colloquial "Nowadays."
"most of the younger generation chooses" -> "many young people choose"
Explanation: "Many young people" is more specific and less vague than "most of the younger generation," which is somewhat imprecise and informal.
"without over-reliance on one is parents" -> "without excessive reliance on their parents"
Explanation: "Excessive reliance" is more precise and formal than "over-reliance," and "their" correctly replaces "one is" for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"this matter offers a lot of benefits" -> "this trend offers numerous benefits"
Explanation: "This trend" is more specific and academically appropriate than "this matter," and "numerous" is more formal than "a lot of."
"will be more comfortable and freedom" -> "will enjoy greater comfort and freedom"
Explanation: "Enjoy greater comfort and freedom" is grammatically correct and more formal than "will be more comfortable and freedom."
"do not need to concern themselves with" -> "need not concern themselves with"
Explanation: "Need not" is a more formal alternative to "do not need to," aligning better with academic style.
"when their wives/husbands will arrive home" -> "when their spouses arrive home"
Explanation: "Spouses" is a more inclusive and formal term than "wives/husbands," which can be seen as gender-specific and informal.
"what they need to cook for them" -> "what meals to prepare"
Explanation: "What meals to prepare" is more concise and formal than "what they need to cook for them."
"it is easy for them to design their houses or rooms" -> "it is simpler for them to design their living spaces"
Explanation: "Living spaces" is a more formal and encompassing term than "houses or rooms," and "simpler" is more precise than "easy."
"without having conflicts with others" -> "without encountering conflicts with others"
Explanation: "Encountering" is more formal and precise than "having," which is somewhat vague in this context.
"a number of accommodation are pet allowed" -> "many accommodations permit pets"
Explanation: "Many accommodations permit pets" is grammatically correct and more formal than "a number of accommodation are pet allowed."
"To explain in greater detail" -> "To elaborate"
Explanation: "To elaborate" is a more concise and formal academic phrase than "To explain in greater detail."
"my sister studied at her university and she lived in a pet-friendly apartment" -> "my sister studied at her university and resided in a pet-friendly apartment"
Explanation: "Resided" is more formal than "lived," and it fits better in an academic context.
"I bought my sister a puppy" -> "I purchased a puppy for my sister"
Explanation: "Purchased a puppy for my sister" is more formal and clearer than "bought my sister a puppy."
"it is undeniable that many citizens choose to live alone" -> "it is evident that many individuals choose to live independently"
Explanation: "Evident" is more formal than "undeniable," and "individuals" is more precise than "citizens" in this context, and "independently" is more formal than "alone."
"we can still buy pets if we feel a bit lonely" -> "we may still acquire pets if we feel a sense of loneliness"
Explanation: "Acquire pets" is more formal than "buy pets," and "a sense of loneliness" is a more precise and formal expression than "a bit lonely."

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the trend of living alone and presenting a viewpoint that this is a positive development. The writer mentions benefits such as increased comfort, freedom, and the ability to have pets, which are relevant to the topic. However, the essay could be improved by explicitly acknowledging the opposing viewpoint or potential drawbacks of living alone, which would provide a more balanced response to the question.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should consider briefly discussing the negative aspects of living alone, such as potential loneliness or financial burdens. This would demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic and allow for a more nuanced argument.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer maintains a clear position that living alone is beneficial, as indicated in the introduction and conclusion. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the body paragraphs. For instance, the second paragraph introduces the idea of pets as companions but does not strongly tie it back to the main argument about the benefits of living alone.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should ensure that each point made directly supports the central thesis. This can be achieved by explicitly linking each benefit back to the overall argument that living alone is a positive choice.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas such as comfort, freedom, and companionship through pets, but the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the writer mentions the comfort of living alone, they could provide more specific examples or statistics to strengthen their argument. The explanation of pets as companions is a good point but lacks depth and connection to the broader theme of independence.
- How to improve: To improve the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should elaborate on each point with additional examples, evidence, or personal anecdotes that relate to the benefits of living alone. This could include discussing how independence can lead to personal growth or improved mental health.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of living alone. However, there are moments where the relevance could be tightened, particularly in the second paragraph where the discussion of pets feels somewhat tangential to the main argument about independence and freedom.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made are directly related to the main argument. They could consider integrating the idea of pets more seamlessly into the overall discussion of independence, perhaps by discussing how having a pet can enhance the living-alone experience rather than standing alone as a separate point.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, it would benefit from a more balanced exploration of the issue, deeper development of ideas, and tighter focus on the central thesis.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of living alone, with two main points supporting this view. The first point discusses the comfort and freedom associated with living independently, while the second point focuses on the companionship that pets can provide. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition between the first and second points feels abrupt, as there is no clear connection established between the two ideas. The introduction sets the stage adequately, but the body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly relate back to the thesis.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of that paragraph. Additionally, using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore" or "In addition" can help to create smoother connections between ideas. For example, after discussing the benefits of living independently, the writer could introduce the pet-related point with a phrase like "Another significant advantage of living alone is the ability to have pets."
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct idea. However, the second paragraph could be further divided to improve clarity. The first part discusses the benefits of living alone, while the second part shifts to the topic of pets without a clear transition. This can confuse readers about the main focus of the paragraph.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, consider breaking the second paragraph into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the benefits of independence and the other on the companionship provided by pets. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point and enhance clarity. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph maintains a consistent focus will improve overall coherence.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "In conclusion," which help to guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be stronger. For example, the phrase "to explain in greater detail" is somewhat repetitive and could be replaced with more varied expressions.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, using "Moreover," "Additionally," or "On the other hand" can enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, incorporating pronouns and synonyms can help to avoid repetition and create a more cohesive narrative. For example, instead of repeatedly using "living alone," the writer could use "this lifestyle" or "such independence" to maintain coherence without redundancy.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices can elevate the overall quality and coherence of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use varied expressions. Phrases like "younger generation," "living independently," and "pet-friendly apartment" show an effort to incorporate specific terms related to the topic. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly in the use of "living alone" and "pets," which could be varied further to enhance the richness of the language.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer could explore synonyms and related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "living alone," alternatives like "solo living," "independent living," or "single occupancy" could be used. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives (e.g., "affordable accommodation" instead of just "accommodation") would enhance the lexical variety.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "over-reliance on one is parents" is incorrect and should be "over-reliance on one’s parents." Additionally, the term "a number of accommodation are pet allowed" is awkwardly phrased; it would be clearer as "a number of accommodations allow pets."
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and clarity. Proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrases is essential. Furthermore, utilizing vocabulary in context is crucial; for example, instead of saying "pets will be our companions," a more precise phrasing could be "pets can provide companionship."
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays several spelling errors, such as "one is parents" instead of "one’s parents," and "accommodation are pet allowed," which should be "accommodations allow pets." These errors can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that provide feedback on common errors. Additionally, reading extensively can help reinforce correct spelling and familiarize the writer with proper word forms. A final proofreading step before submission can also catch these errors.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable command of vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in terms of range, precision, and spelling accuracy. By addressing these issues, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their lexical resource in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "Young people will be able to decide according to their preferences" is a straightforward structure, while "To elaborate further, individuals do not need to concern themselves with the needs and schedules of others such as when their wives/husbands will arrive home, what they need to cook for them, etc." showcases a more complex structure. However, the overall range is limited, and many sentences follow a similar pattern, which can make the writing feel repetitive and less engaging.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, consider incorporating more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses, conditional phrases, or varied introductory phrases. For instance, instead of frequently starting sentences with "Young people" or "To explain," try using phrases like "While many young people prefer to live alone, others find companionship in shared living arrangements." This not only diversifies the sentence structures but also adds depth to the argument.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "without over-reliance on one is parents" should be corrected to "without over-reliance on one’s parents." Additionally, the phrase "a number of accommodation are pet allowed" is grammatically incorrect; it should be "a number of accommodations allow pets." Punctuation errors are also present, such as the missing commas in complex sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences and confusion for the reader.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, it is essential to review the rules for possessive forms, subject-verb agreement, and pluralization. Practicing sentence correction exercises can also be beneficial. For punctuation, pay attention to the use of commas, especially in compound and complex sentences, to separate clauses and enhance readability. Reading the essay aloud can help identify areas where punctuation is needed or where sentences may be too long and need to be broken up for clarity.

By focusing on these areas of improvement, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

Nowadays, most of the younger generation chooses to live independently without excessive reliance on their parents. From my perspective, this trend offers numerous benefits to their residents, and my reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.

Firstly, young people living alone will enjoy greater comfort and freedom in terms of finances and privacy. To elaborate further, individuals do not need to concern themselves with the needs and schedules of others, such as when their spouses arrive home or what meals to prepare for them. Moreover, it is simpler for them to design their houses or rooms without encountering conflicts with others. Living separately will also limit conflicts between family members on many issues, such as finances and hobbies. Young people will be able to decide according to their preferences.

Secondly, another supportive reason that contributes to my idea is that many accommodations permit pets. To explain in greater detail, residents can raise pets, namely dogs, cats, hamsters, and fish, to avoid loneliness when living alone; pets will be our companions. For example, my sister studied at her university and resided in a pet-friendly apartment; therefore, I purchased a puppy for my sister so she wouldn’t be lonely when she lives alone.

In conclusion, it is evident that many individuals choose to live independently, as there are plenty of upsides. In my opinion, living alone offers us freedom and comfort; however, we may still acquire pets if we feel a sense of loneliness, as many accommodations these days allow us to raise pets.