In some countries, more and more local shops are closing down because so many people now shop online. What problems might this cause? What is the best way to deal with this situation?

In some countries, more and more local shops are closing down because so many people now shop online.
What problems might this cause? What is the best way to deal with this situation?

Online shopping has been growing in popularity for some time in many countries, causing some local shop owners to shut down their business. In my opinion, this development is unfavorable for retailers, housing landlords, and customers who prefer the old way of shopping, but the problems can be alleviated by combining online and offline shopping which I refer to as hybrid shopping experience.
As an increasing number of people are switching from in-person to online shopping, many local stores risks closing down. This would lead to their income loss and create great financial difficulties for traditional stores, especially for shop owners who cannot transition to doing businesses online for lacking knowledge and experience in digital shopping. Moreover, this new shopping trend also presents tremendous issues to housing landlords as shop owners shut down their businesses and end the renting contract with landlords. For customers who love the experience of purchasing goods in physical stores and find online shopping unreliable and impractical, the disappearance of local retailers also negatively affects their daily shopping experience and therefore proves to be unpleasant.
Despite being gradual, the transition from traditional to online shopping is inevitable; therefore, if local shops refuse to adapt to current changes in the business landscape, they will have to close down their stores. In order to stay in the market, approach a wider range of customers, and compete with other shops, local stores should consider doing businesses online apart from sustaining their offline stores. However, this switch can be challenging for some shop owners, which requires collective efforts from the government and local authorities. Governmental bodies should offer offline and online courses which sellers can join to hone their technological and business skills regarding digital shopping. At first, the time required to finish these courses and money needed to invest in online shopping platforms can be overwhelming, but it allows traditional retailers to be flexible in the face of new shopping trends and keep their business running.
In conclusion, the fact that people prefer shopping online has wound up many local stores, putting them and housing landlords under financial strains and depriving customers of in-person shopping experiences. I believe that these problems can be solved as long as local shop owners are willing to take steps in creating hybrid shopping for their customers.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Online shopping has been growing in popularity for some time" -> "Online shopping has gained popularity over the past few years"
Explanation: The phrase "gained popularity over the past few years" is more precise and specific, enhancing the academic tone by providing a clearer timeframe for the growth of online shopping.
"causing some local shop owners to shut down their business" -> "leading to the closure of some local businesses"
Explanation: "Leading to the closure of some local businesses" is more formal and avoids the colloquialism "shut down their business," which is less appropriate for academic writing.
"this development is unfavorable for" -> "this trend is detrimental to"
Explanation: "Detrimental to" is a more precise and formal term than "unfavorable," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in academic contexts.
"housing landlords" -> "landlords"
Explanation: "Housing landlords" is redundant as "landlords" already implies housing. Simplifying the phrase enhances clarity and formality.
"the old way of shopping" -> "traditional shopping methods"
Explanation: "Traditional shopping methods" is a more specific and formal term than "the old way of shopping," which is colloquial and vague.
"can be alleviated by combining online and offline shopping" -> "can be mitigated by integrating online and offline shopping"
Explanation: "Mitigated" is a more precise term than "alleviated" in this context, and "integrating" is more formal than "combining," which is slightly informal.
"risks closing down" -> "may close"
Explanation: "May close" is a more formal and less dramatic expression than "risks closing down," which is somewhat sensational.
"create great financial difficulties" -> "pose significant financial challenges"
Explanation: "Pose significant financial challenges" is more formal and precise than "create great financial difficulties," which is somewhat colloquial.
"cannot transition to doing businesses online" -> "are unable to transition to online business"
Explanation: "Are unable to transition to online business" is more formal and avoids the awkward construction of "doing businesses online."
"tremendous issues" -> "significant challenges"
Explanation: "Significant challenges" is a more academically appropriate term than "tremendous issues," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"find online shopping unreliable and impractical" -> "perceive online shopping as unreliable and impractical"
Explanation: "Perceive online shopping as unreliable and impractical" is more precise and formal, specifying the subjective nature of the perception.
"proves to be unpleasant" -> "results in an unfavorable experience"
Explanation: "Results in an unfavorable experience" is more formal and avoids the emotional connotation of "unpleasant," which is less suitable for academic writing.
"if local shops refuse to adapt" -> "if local shops fail to adapt"
Explanation: "Fail to adapt" is a more formal and precise term than "refuse to adapt," which implies a more deliberate and confrontational stance.
"doing businesses online" -> "operating online"
Explanation: "Operating online" is a more formal and precise term than "doing businesses online," which is awkward and informal.
"money needed to invest" -> "funds required to invest"
Explanation: "Funds required to invest" is more formal and precise than "money needed to invest," aligning better with academic style.
"can be overwhelming" -> "may be overwhelming"
Explanation: "May be overwhelming" is more tentative and formal, fitting the academic tone better than "can be overwhelming," which is slightly informal.
"keep their business running" -> "maintain their business operations"
Explanation: "Maintain their business operations" is more formal and specific than "keep their business running," which is colloquial.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies the problems caused by the closure of local shops due to the rise of online shopping, such as financial difficulties for shop owners and landlords, and the negative impact on customers who prefer in-person shopping. The second part of the question is also addressed by suggesting a hybrid shopping model as a solution, along with the need for government support through training. This comprehensive approach demonstrates a strong understanding of the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance this aspect, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the problems. For instance, discussing the broader economic implications of local shop closures on communities or the potential loss of jobs could provide a deeper analysis. Additionally, expanding on the proposed solutions with more specific examples or case studies of successful hybrid models could strengthen the response.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that the shift to online shopping is unfavorable for various stakeholders, and it consistently supports this viewpoint throughout. Phrases like "this development is unfavorable" and "the problems can be alleviated" signal a strong stance. However, while the position is clear, there are moments where the language could be more assertive, particularly in the conclusion.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and assertiveness, the writer could use more definitive language in the conclusion, reinforcing the importance of the proposed solutions. For example, instead of saying "I believe that these problems can be solved," the writer could state, "These problems can and must be solved through proactive measures."
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a range of ideas related to the problems caused by the rise of online shopping and the suggested solutions. Each idea is generally supported with reasoning, such as the financial strain on shop owners and landlords. However, some points could be more thoroughly developed; for example, the mention of "collective efforts from the government and local authorities" could be expanded with specific examples of what these efforts might entail.
- How to improve: To enhance the development of ideas, the writer should aim to provide more detailed examples and evidence to support their claims. For instance, including statistics on the impact of local shop closures or referencing successful hybrid shopping initiatives could add depth to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the implications of online shopping on local businesses and proposing relevant solutions. There are no significant deviations from the topic, and the structure supports a coherent argument.
- How to improve: While the essay stays on topic, ensuring that each paragraph directly ties back to the main argument can further strengthen the focus. The writer could include transitional phrases that explicitly connect back to the main thesis, reinforcing how each point contributes to the overall argument regarding the impact of online shopping.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the task and effectively communicates ideas. By incorporating more detailed examples, enhancing the assertiveness of the position, and ensuring thorough development of ideas, the essay could achieve an even higher score in Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear progression of ideas, starting with the problem of local shops closing down due to the rise of online shopping. The introduction sets the stage effectively, and the body paragraphs logically follow, discussing the implications for retailers, landlords, and customers. However, the transition between the problems and the proposed solutions could be more explicit. For instance, the shift from discussing the negative impacts to suggesting hybrid shopping lacks a clear connective statement that ties the two sections together.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using transitional phrases that explicitly link problems to solutions. For example, after outlining the problems, a sentence like "To address these challenges, a viable solution is to implement a hybrid shopping model" would create a smoother transition. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The first paragraph introduces the issue, the second discusses the problems, and the third proposes solutions. However, some paragraphs could be more balanced in length and content. For example, the paragraph discussing the problems is quite dense and could benefit from being split into two separate paragraphs: one focusing on the impact on retailers and landlords, and the other on customers.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, aim for a more balanced distribution of ideas. Each paragraph should ideally contain one main idea supported by several sentences. Consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance readability and ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable use of cohesive devices, such as "Moreover," "In order to," and "Despite being gradual," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices could be expanded. Some transitions feel repetitive, and there are opportunities to incorporate more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay. For instance, the use of "however" and "therefore" could be supplemented with alternatives like "consequently," "on the other hand," or "in contrast" to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, review the essay for frequently used transitions and replace them with synonyms or alternative phrases. Additionally, consider using more complex cohesive devices, such as referencing back to previous ideas (e.g., "This issue is compounded by…") or using ellipsis for smoother connections. Practicing with a wider range of cohesive devices in writing exercises can also help in developing this skill.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of coherence and cohesion, earning a Band 7. By focusing on clearer transitions, balanced paragraphing, and a broader range of cohesive devices, the essay could achieve an even higher score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "unfavorable," "financial difficulties," and "hybrid shopping experience." However, the language tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly with phrases like "local shops" and "online shopping." There is also a reliance on common expressions, which limits the overall lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms. For example, instead of repeatedly using "local shops," alternatives like "community retailers" or "brick-and-mortar stores" could be employed. Additionally, varying phrases such as "online shopping" with "e-commerce" or "digital retail" would enrich the language.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage, such as "risks closing down" instead of "risk closing down." This slight grammatical error can lead to confusion. Additionally, phrases like "doing businesses online for lacking knowledge" could be more clearly expressed as "due to a lack of knowledge."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on ensuring grammatical accuracy and clarity in expression. Reviewing sentences for grammatical correctness and clarity before finalizing the essay can help. For instance, rephrasing to "due to a lack of knowledge and experience in digital shopping" would enhance clarity and precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally demonstrates good spelling, with only minor errors. For example, "doing businesses" should be corrected to "doing business." Such errors, while not frequent, can detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully or use spelling and grammar checking tools. Additionally, practicing spelling of commonly used academic vocabulary can help solidify correct usage in future essays.

Overall, while the essay shows a solid foundation in lexical resource, focusing on expanding vocabulary range, enhancing precision, and ensuring correct spelling will contribute to achieving a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "As an increasing number of people are switching from in-person to online shopping, many local stores risks closing down" uses a complex structure effectively to convey a cause-and-effect relationship. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied. For example, the phrase "which I refer to as hybrid shopping experience" could be rephrased for clarity and variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more complex sentences that use subordinate clauses or participial phrases. For instance, instead of saying "the problems can be alleviated by combining online and offline shopping," the writer could say, "By combining online and offline shopping, local retailers can alleviate the problems they face." This not only varies the structure but also emphasizes the solution more effectively.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are a few errors that detract from the overall quality. For instance, the phrase "many local stores risks closing down" contains a subject-verb agreement error; "stores" is plural, so it should be "risk." Additionally, the sentence "for lacking knowledge and experience in digital shopping" could be better phrased as "due to a lack of knowledge and experience in digital shopping." Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are instances where commas could enhance clarity, such as before "which requires collective efforts from the government and local authorities."
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread their work to catch subject-verb agreement errors and awkward phrasing. Additionally, practicing the use of commas in complex sentences can help clarify meaning. For example, revising sentences to include necessary commas can prevent misreading and enhance the flow of ideas. Engaging in grammar exercises focused on common errors, particularly subject-verb agreement and prepositional phrases, would also be beneficial.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, but attention to detail in sentence structure and grammatical rules will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

Online shopping has been growing in popularity for some time in many countries, causing some local shop owners to shut down their businesses. In my opinion, this development is unfavorable for retailers, housing landlords, and customers who prefer traditional shopping methods. However, the problems can be alleviated by combining online and offline shopping, which I refer to as a hybrid shopping experience.

As an increasing number of people switch from in-person to online shopping, many local stores risk closing down. This would lead to income loss and create significant financial challenges for traditional stores, especially for shop owners who are unable to transition to doing business online due to a lack of knowledge and experience in digital shopping. Moreover, this new shopping trend also presents tremendous issues for housing landlords as shop owners shut down their businesses and end their rental contracts. For customers who love the experience of purchasing goods in physical stores and find online shopping unreliable and impractical, the disappearance of local retailers negatively affects their daily shopping experience and results in an unfavorable experience.

Despite being gradual, the transition from traditional to online shopping is inevitable; therefore, if local shops refuse to adapt to current changes in the business landscape, they may close down their stores. In order to stay in the market, reach a wider range of customers, and compete with other shops, local stores should consider operating online in addition to sustaining their offline stores. However, this switch can be challenging for some shop owners and requires collective efforts from the government and local authorities. Governmental bodies should offer offline and online courses that sellers can join to hone their technological and business skills regarding digital shopping. At first, the time required to finish these courses and the funds needed to invest in online shopping platforms may be overwhelming, but they allow traditional retailers to be flexible in the face of new shopping trends and maintain their business operations.

In conclusion, the fact that people prefer shopping online has led to the closure of many local stores, putting them and housing landlords under financial strain and depriving customers of in-person shopping experiences. I believe that these problems can be solved as long as local shop owners are willing to take steps in creating a hybrid shopping experience for their customers.