In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What is the reason for this? How can people research this?
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What is the reason for this? How can people research this?
There has been an increasing inclination among residents in some countries to trace back the history record of their accommodation. The two key reasons are for maintenance purposes and the feng shui intentions. The information is able to be found in their neighbors or on public record reserved by the local authorities.
To begin with, the detailed profile of the house or the building assists the citizens substantially in the longer-term maintenance plans. The year of construction, initial architecture and track record of events happening at the place or even the houseowner profiles provide the current dwellers with a host of significant information to decide whether the building is in need of maintenance or not owing to the situation and date of house materials and internal facilities.
Besides, some people living in Asian countries such as Vietnam, China, Hongkong, etc are eager to reveal the history of the house because from a holistic standpoint, they strongly believe that the feng shui of their accommodation can correspondingly affect their spiritual and financial status. Some hold the assumption that the direction of the house, the profile of the previous owners and the arrangement in the house are supposed to be a match or a bad omen for them. For example, a house with the prior dweller having a wealthy and abundant life is reckoned to convey a prosperous spirit to its next owners.
Concurrently, there are a wide range of methods for people to search for information, especially the history of a house or a building. The most conspicuous approach is direct access to the neighbors who have been living there for over a long timespan and may keep inside a large deal of valuable information. Besides, the public record by local authority is also a precious hub to exploit for further details.
In conclusion, the feng shui factor and maintenance demand play pivotal roles in influencing people’s upswinging interest in the history of the house or a building they are sheltering in. Information pursuiters can reach their own neighbors or the local rulers for the public records.
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Errors and Improvements:
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"There has been an increasing inclination among residents in some countries to trace back the history record of their accommodation." -> "There has been a growing trend among residents in certain countries to delve into the historical records of their dwellings."
Explanation: Replacing "increasing inclination" with "growing trend" and "trace back the history record" with "delve into the historical records" enhances formality and precision in expressing the idea. -
"The two key reasons are for maintenance purposes and the feng shui intentions." -> "The primary reasons are for maintenance considerations and adherence to feng shui principles."
Explanation: Substituting "maintenance purposes" with "maintenance considerations" and "feng shui intentions" with "adherence to feng shui principles" maintains formality and clarifies the purpose. -
"The information is able to be found in their neighbors or on public record reserved by the local authorities." -> "This information can be obtained from their neighbors or through public records maintained by local authorities."
Explanation: The phrase "is able to be found" is simplified to "can be obtained," and the sentence is restructured for better flow and formality. -
"To begin with, the detailed profile of the house or the building assists the citizens substantially in the longer-term maintenance plans." -> "Firstly, a comprehensive profile of the house or building significantly aids citizens in formulating long-term maintenance plans."
Explanation: "To begin with" is replaced with "Firstly," and the sentence is refined for a more formal expression of the idea. -
"The year of construction, initial architecture and track record of events happening at the place or even the houseowner profiles provide the current dwellers with a host of significant information to decide whether the building is in need of maintenance or not owing to the situation and date of house materials and internal facilities." -> "Details such as the year of construction, original architecture, historical events associated with the place, and even profiles of previous homeowners furnish current occupants with crucial information to determine the maintenance requirements based on the condition and age of building materials and internal facilities."
Explanation: The sentence is rephrased to improve clarity and formality. Complex information is presented in a more structured manner. -
"Besides, some people living in Asian countries such as Vietnam, China, Hongkong, etc are eager to reveal the history of the house because from a holistic standpoint, they strongly believe that the feng shui of their accommodation can correspondingly affect their spiritual and financial status." -> "Moreover, individuals residing in Asian countries like Vietnam, China, Hong Kong, etc., are keen to uncover the history of their residences. They firmly believe that the feng shui of their dwellings can significantly influence their spiritual and financial well-being from a holistic perspective."
Explanation: "Besides" is replaced with "Moreover," and the sentence is refined for formal expression. The list of countries is organized, and the rationale behind the belief is clarified. -
"Concurrently, there are a wide range of methods for people to search for information, especially the history of a house or a building." -> "Simultaneously, a diverse array of methods is available for individuals to gather information, particularly regarding the history of a house or building."
Explanation: "Concurrently" is used in place of "simultaneously," and the phrase "a wide range of" is replaced with "a diverse array of" for a more precise and formal tone. -
"The most conspicuous approach is direct access to the neighbors who have been living there for over a long timespan and may keep inside a large deal of valuable information." -> "The most prominent approach is direct communication with neighbors who have resided there for an extended period, possessing a wealth of valuable information."
Explanation: "Conspicuous" is replaced with "prominent," and the sentence is rephrased for improved formality and clarity. -
"Besides, the public record by local authority is also a precious hub to exploit for further details." -> "Moreover, the public records maintained by local authorities serve as a valuable resource for obtaining additional details."
Explanation: "Besides" is replaced with "Moreover," and the term "precious hub to exploit" is substituted with "valuable resource for obtaining" for a more formal and precise expression.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Task Response: 6
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally addresses both aspects of the prompt — the reasons for an increasing interest in the history of houses and how people can research this information. It touches upon maintenance reasons and feng shui beliefs, and it mentions accessing information from neighbors and public records.
- How to improve: While the essay covers the main points, it could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the reasons behind the trend, providing specific examples or anecdotes to support the points made.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a relatively clear position throughout, particularly on the reasons for researching house history. It asserts that maintenance and feng shui are the primary motivators.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the essay could explicitly state the position in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph aligns with and reinforces the established position would strengthen coherence.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The ideas are presented adequately, especially the connection between historical information and maintenance or feng shui beliefs. However, some points lack detailed elaboration, and examples are somewhat general.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more specific examples to illustrate the impact of historical information on maintenance decisions or feng shui beliefs. Expanding on these instances would add depth to the argument.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic, addressing the reasons for the growing interest in house history and methods of research. However, there are moments where the focus wavers, particularly in the general statements about Asian countries without clear relevance to the main theme.
- How to improve: To stay on topic more effectively, the essay should avoid tangential discussions and ensure that every point made contributes directly to the exploration of why people are interested in house history and how they can research it.
Overall Feedback:
The essay provides a reasonable exploration of the reasons behind the increasing interest in house history and methods of research. To improve, it should offer more specific examples, maintain a consistently clear position throughout, and avoid minor deviations from the main topic. Enhancing these aspects would contribute to a more nuanced and focused response, potentially raising the band score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonably logical organization. It starts by introducing the reasons behind the growing interest in house history, followed by separate paragraphs explaining the maintenance aspect and the feng shui belief. The essay concludes by summarizing the main points. However, there is room for improvement in the transition between paragraphs, making the flow more seamless.
- How to improve: To enhance the logical flow, consider using transitional phrases at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through the different aspects. For example, phrases like "Moreover," or "Furthermore" can help connect ideas more smoothly.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their structure could be more refined. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single main idea. While the first paragraph discusses maintenance, the second blends feng shui with cultural examples, which might be more effective if separated.
- How to improve: Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus on one aspect of the topic. Consider breaking the second paragraph into two, dedicating one to feng shui beliefs and another to cultural examples. This would create a clearer and more organized structure.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "To begin with," and "Besides," to signal the start of new points. However, the range is limited, and a more diverse set of cohesive devices could improve the overall coherence.
- How to improve: Introduce a wider variety of cohesive devices to enhance coherence. For instance, use transition words like "Additionally," "In contrast," or "Concurrently" to connect ideas and create a smoother transition between sentences and paragraphs.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of coherence and cohesion, refining the logical organization, paragraph structure, and incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices will contribute to achieving a higher band score.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary. While there is some variety in word choice, there is room for improvement in introducing more sophisticated and nuanced vocabulary. For instance, words like "inclination," "maintenance," and "conspicuous" contribute to lexical diversity, but the essay could benefit from incorporating a broader range of vocabulary related to the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance your score in this criterion, consider introducing more specialized vocabulary related to the topics of historical research, cultural beliefs, and architectural elements. For example, using terms like "historical inquiry," "cultural significance," or "architectural features" can elevate the lexical richness of your essay.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally uses vocabulary with reasonable precision. However, there are instances where more precise language could be employed. For example, the term "holistic standpoint" could be replaced with a more specific phrase, such as "comprehensive perspective." Additionally, the expression "upswinging interest" could be refined to convey a clearer meaning.
- How to improve: To improve precision, carefully consider the context and choose words that precisely convey your intended meaning. Replace general terms with more specific ones, and avoid using clichés or vague expressions. In this essay, refining phrases like "holistic standpoint" to "comprehensive perspective" and rephrasing "upswinging interest" to something like "growing fascination" can enhance precision.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally exhibits a commendable level of spelling accuracy. However, there are a few instances of errors, such as "record reserved" (should be records reserved) and "dweller" (preferably "previous occupant"). These errors, though minor, slightly impact the overall impression of language proficiency.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, proofread your work carefully. Pay attention to singular and plural forms, and use tools like spell-check to catch minor errors. Additionally, be mindful of specific terminology, ensuring that words are used in their correct forms. In this case, double-checking terms like "record reserved" and replacing "dweller" with "previous occupant" will contribute to improved spelling accuracy.
In conclusion, while the essay exhibits a reasonable command of vocabulary and spelling, there is room for enhancement. Employing a more diverse and precise range of vocabulary, along with meticulous proofreading, will contribute to an overall improvement in lexical resource.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fairly varied use of sentence structures. There is a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the author uses complex sentences when discussing the detailed profile of a house for maintenance purposes and employs a simple sentence structure when presenting the feng shui beliefs. However, some sentences are relatively straightforward, and a greater variety of complex structures could enhance the overall sophistication of the essay.
- How to improve: To further diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more compound-complex sentences and varying sentence lengths. Additionally, experiment with rhetorical devices such as parallelism to add nuance to your writing.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay exhibits generally accurate grammar and punctuation. However, there are instances where subject-verb agreement issues arise, as in "The two key reasons are for maintenance purposes and the feng shui intentions." Here, the subject "reasons" requires the verb "are," but the singular "is" is used. Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas in "China, Hongkong" and "information, especially."
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, ensuring they match in number. Also, carefully proofread for punctuation errors, particularly commas, to maintain clarity and coherence. Consider seeking feedback or utilizing grammar-checking tools to identify and rectify these issues.
In summary, the essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical range and accuracy, earning a Band Score of 7. To improve further, focus on incorporating a wider array of sentence structures and refining grammar and punctuation to enhance overall fluency and precision.
Bài sửa mẫu
There has been a growing trend among residents in certain countries to delve into the historical records of their dwellings. The primary reasons are for maintenance considerations and adherence to feng shui principles. This information can be obtained from their neighbors or through public records maintained by local authorities.
Firstly, a comprehensive profile of the house or building significantly aids citizens in formulating long-term maintenance plans. Details such as the year of construction, original architecture, historical events associated with the place, and even profiles of previous homeowners furnish current occupants with crucial information to determine the maintenance requirements based on the condition and age of building materials and internal facilities.
Moreover, individuals residing in Asian countries like Vietnam, China, Hong Kong, etc., are keen to uncover the history of their residences. They firmly believe that the feng shui of their dwellings can significantly influence their spiritual and financial well-being from a holistic perspective.
Simultaneously, a diverse array of methods is available for individuals to gather information, particularly regarding the history of a house or building. The most prominent approach is direct communication with neighbors who have resided there for an extended period, possessing a wealth of valuable information. Moreover, the public records maintained by local authorities serve as a valuable resource for obtaining additional details.
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